Honesty on the Sand

I managed to make Nayeon skip class today. This was my revenge for the time she played me for a fool.

"You dragged me away from my lecture just to come here?" Nayeon complained as I parked my car at the beach.

"You don’t like the beach?" I asked, surprised. Usually girls would beg to be brought to a place like this.

"I don’t like it, but I don’t hate it either," she answered shortly. She took off her shoes and walked barefoot on the sand.

I was a little amazed by how Nayeon always avoided my eyes. She was dead serious about not wanting to look at me. Just how similar were my eyes to the person she mentioned that she didn’t even want to see me?

I observed Nayeon for a moment. The girl’s back profile suddenly felt familiar. As if I had seen her before we even met. Especially when she turned her head to the left and her loose hair danced wildly in the wind — my conviction that I had seen her before grew stronger.

Maybe I was just imagining things. My brain always weakened whenever it involved this girl.

But up until now, I still didn’t know anything about Nayeon. Other than the fact that she had a brother and there was someone whose eyes resembled mine. I bet that person was probably her ex-boyfriend. Besides that, I didn’t know her phone number, her age, or even her major.

Should I ask? For the sake of making this approach smoother, I probably should.

"You seem to like it, don’t you?" I said casually as I approached Nayeon, who was playing with a hermit crab on the sand.

"I was just reminded of the research I did two years ago. This animal was the subject," she replied while releasing the shelled creature again.

"You did it here too?"

"No, my group and I did it in Jeju."

I let out an “oh” in realization. But a second later, something dawned on me.

"If it was two years ago, that means you’re older than me?" I was shocked. Really, I never expected this.

"Really? Then you should be more polite to me," she said as she stood up, patting her hands to shake off the sand.

"I prefer it like this, and you don’t seem to mind either."

Nayeon only responded with a nod of agreement. The girl went back to enjoying the sea breeze gently caressing her beautiful face.

After a moment of silence, staring at the horizontal line in the distance, I finally spoke, "When we first met, you acted normal toward me. The second time, we didn’t even greet each other. Then on the third time, you suddenly became clumsy around me. And as time goes on, can I say you’ve changed more and more? I mean, it’s like you’re hiding something."

I clearly noticed Nayeon’s body suddenly tense up. Maybe because of the sea breeze, or maybe because of my honest, lengthy words about her attitude toward me.

"You seem indifferent?" I added, which instantly made Irene turn to look at me in silence. Her eyes met mine coldly. This was the third time I saw her clear irises directly.

"Are you judging me?" Her voice pierced my heart. I had said it many times — this girl was extremely difficult to understand. Sometimes she was so gentle and intoxicating. But often her attitude was sharp and full of hidden meaning.

Even so, I still formed a thin smile on my face. "No, I’m just expressing what’s in my heart. Because I don’t understand your ever-changing attitude. Honestly, I prefer the you from our first meeting. Awkward and a little innocent."

Nayeon lowered her gaze. She traced the sand with the tip of her shoe. "Everyone changes. Nothing in this world is static."

To be honest, the more time passed, the more fragile Nayeon seemed to me. As if her body could shatter into pieces if hit by even a small wave from the sea over there. What exactly happened to this girl after that rainy day in Seoul?

Ever since that sorrowful look she showed when we took shelter at the security post, everything had suddenly changed.

"I’m not good at playing riddles, Nayeon. Tell me what’s really bothering your mind?" I finally asked her to explain everything. Everything that had been eating away at her heart and mind lately.

She shook her head bitterly. "What happened? Nothing."

I greedily sucked in oxygen before raising my voice. "You’ve seemed frustrated lately. You don’t look okay at all," I insisted while looking straight at her.

"What does it matter to you? You and that annoying curiosity of yours have never changed since the beginning!"

I flinched. Since the beginning? What did Nayeon mean by that?

"I want to go home alone." Nayeon every word she uttered. It left me, who was still confused, even more shocked by everything.

Reflexively, I grabbed her wrist. "No, you came with me. You’re going home with me too."

Nayeon looked at me sharply. As if she had forgotten her habit of always avoiding my gaze. She yanked her hand away. "Leave me alone!"

"How can I leave you alone in this condition!" I retorted, my voice almost rising an octave. Come on. I brought her here to have fun, not to fight.

"Enough! Stop pretending to care about me. Who do you think you—"

"I love you!"

Those two meaningful words slipped out of my mouth spontaneously. Nayeon widened her eyes in disbelief. She looked at me as if I were an alien from outer space.

"No, Y/n. No. Don’t do this again!" Nayeon screamed, instantly startling me. Why did everything become so strange?

Nayeon hurriedly walked away from me. Leaving me clearly rejected by her. I stood frozen in place. Unable to understand what had just hit me.

It felt like this had happened before. Really. My head suddenly throbbed. What exactly was this girl hiding?