Chapter 4

The couples therapy sessions had ended up being harsher than they had expected them to be. They went twice a week, sitting on opposite ends of a couch to learn how to communicate properly after everything. 

She now texted Jimin during the day. Just small texts saying, “thinking of you”, “rough morning”, or “shall we watch a movie tonight?” She also forced herself to eat three meals a day, even when it made her want to throw up. Jimin did the same and they tried to eat together whenever it was possible. She kept going to therapy alone in addition to couples counseling. Her medication had been slightly adjusted and she was finally able to see that she felt a little better. 

She now always made sure to take care of Jimin as best as she could; massaging her shoulders when she came back from work exhausted, preparing meals and pouring her heart into it and most importantly, giving her all to communicate her feelings. 

A month after the letter, they decided to pack the nursery together, sensing that it would ease the wounded part of their hearts. Aeri tightened her hold on her lover’s hand as they faced the closed door. 

“Ready?” Jimin asked. 

“No,” Aeri frowned. “But let’s do it anyway.” 

They tried their best not to break down as they packed things up but Aeri found herself crying over a tiny pair of socks and Jimin immediately set down the box she was holding to pull her into an embrace. 

“I know,” Jimin whispered shakily into her hair. “I know baby, I know.” 

Aeri sobbed quietly, her fingers clenching around the fabric of Jimin’s shirt. 

After what felt like an eternity, they managed to get it done. They carried the boxes to their storage and eventually made their way back into the apartment. Jimin suggested that they order in and watch a movie in bed and Aeri immediately complied with the idea, too tired to cook or to even think. 

Another step toward healing. 

Aeri woke up panting, a now unfamiliar sensation pressing on her ribs. Her skin felt too warm, the sensation of it rubbing against sheets was uncomfortable. She felt restless; the need to move, shift in bed, and seek for something pulling at her. Between her legs, she could feel something that made her jaw drop. 

Oh, 

Oh. 

Not the usual nighttime dampness, 

but slick. 

Her eyes widened as she stared at the ceiling, her breathing coming in and out fast. Heat. Her first heat since the pregnancy. She had known that it would eventually come, Dr. Ha had warned her that her cycle would return to normal around three to four months post-miscarriage. But being aware and actually experiencing it were two different things. 

The last time Jimin and her had been intimate had been before the accident. Nearly four months ago. The thought made her chest tighten. She wanted Jimin, god, she had been wanting Jimin for weeks now. She had caught herself staring at her alpha’s hands, her lips, remembering how it felt to be touched, to be connected to her in that primal way. 

But what if Jimin didn’t want her anymore? What if all this time pushing her away had killed that carnal desire? What if–

Beside her, Jimin stirred and moved in sleep. As she moved, the hand that was draped over Aeri’s waist brushed against her skin and Aeri sucked in a sharp breath. She could feel more slick gathering between her thighs at the contact. 

She could hear Jimin’s breath stutter behind her, no longer so asleep. Her grip on her hip tightened slightly and Aeri guessed that Jimin had caught the change in her scent. 

“Aeri?” Jimin said, surprised. She pulled back slightly to put a bit of space between them. “Are you–” 

“I’m going into heat,” Aeri said quietly, biting on her lower lip as heat rose to her cheeks. “I think it just started I–sorry I woke you up.” 

Jimin didn’t respond right away, instead, she turned on the bedside lamp. Aeri blinked several times, trying to adjust to the lighting and looked up at her lover. Jimin’s pupils were already dilating but her face was neutral. 

“Don’t apologize,” Jimin said softly and rubbed her face. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”