"Love grows in silence, but it can also crack in silence.
And we were sitting between two silences—one embracing us, and the other pulling us apart."
...
Our love didn’t grow like a flower that suddenly blooms. It wasn’t like the movies or poems that often talk about love at first sight. There was no big explosion that changed everything overnight.
Our love grew like moss. Slowly. Quietly. Unnoticeable. But without realizing it, it had already covered every part of my life that once felt empty. It grew in the gaps between small habits, in the pauses of our conversations, in the silences that were no longer awkward. It existed without much noise, but its presence felt more and more real.
We never set an official date. We never made special celebrations or promises wrapped in sweet words and high hopes. But the days simply passed, filling each other’s emptiness. Time that once felt too long suddenly felt too short. And the silence that used to be just silence now became pauses filled with longing.
Every morning, I started checking my phone not for work news or email replies, but to see if there was a message from you. Or simply hoping you had read the message I sent the night before.
Good morning to the most beautiful person in the universe. Did you sleep well?
Not long after, you replied:
Hiii, a beautiful morning to you too. Of course I slept very well. You’re already being sweet this early, haha.
I smiled reading your reply, then quickly typed:
Did you dream of me? I hope so. If you did, I hope I appeared bringing your favorite flowers and your favorite chocolate pie.
Haha, I don’t think you appeared. But speaking of chocolate pie, how about we go to my favorite café this week? I want to introduce that place to you.
Of course, sweet lady. Let me treat you this time.
Stop teasing me. Have a great day, okay. See you later!
Simple messages. But somehow, the world felt kinder afterward. As if mornings were no longer ordinary, just because you were there—on the other side of my phone screen.
You began to appear in many parts of my life, not by force, not by pressuring me to change who I was. You never came with demands. You simply existed, and your presence made me want to become better. Not for anyone else, but for myself. Because I wanted to be someone worthy of walking beside you.
We had small habits that others might consider trivial.
Like buying the same two books, reading them almost at the same time, then exchanging notes in the margins. Or every Saturday afternoon, we would go to the old bakery on the edge of town, just because you loved the smell of fresh butter from the oven. Sometimes we sat for a long time at the bus stop, watching people go home.
You once said,
"Seeing people go home is like learning to appreciate home."
And I understood that in all our meetings, you were looking for a home. Looking for a place where you didn’t have to be too strong alone.
One night, you came to my house bringing a box of warm food. You placed it on the table without saying much.
"I know you forgot to eat again," you said, trying to sound casual, but the worry was too obvious to hide.
I just laughed. But deep inside, there was a feeling of tenderness I couldn’t explain. Because someone was thinking about me down to such small things. I felt cared for. Seen. It felt like being pulled back into the world after living too long inside my own head.
At that point, I started including you in all my future plans.
Every time there was a job offer out of town, my mind immediately asked,
"Can she come with me?"
If I wrote a new story, the female character slowly became you—in the way she thought, in her laughter, in the way she saw the world. You began to live in my writings, just as you lived in my days.
But I started to realize that love isn’t just about growing together. Sometimes, in the middle of that growth, we also begin to see roots growing in different directions. We plant our individual desires in the same soil, but they turn out to grow toward different paths.
You started talking about the future. About a quiet life in a small town. About wanting to be close to your mother, about opening a small, simple but stable bookstore.
"I’m tired of always being a passenger in someone else’s life," you said. And I nodded. I understood that. I truly understood.
But that same night, I received an email I had been waiting for. A three-month writing residency offer abroad. An opportunity I had dreamed of for a long time. I stared at the screen for a long time. I knew I had to tell you. But I also knew that news wasn’t good for us.
I delayed it. Not to lie. But because I knew I was slowly accumulating the distance that would gradually pull us apart.
You needed certainty. While I was still living in this uncertainty. You were growing roots, and I still wanted wings.
One night, we walked together on a quiet street. The thin night wind passed between us. Your hand gripped mine tighter than usual. As if afraid I would suddenly fly away. But also as if you knew you couldn’t hold me back.
"I’m scared we’re heading in different directions," you said suddenly.
And I stayed silent. Because your fear was my fear too. But we were too often pretending not to know about it. We were too busy watering this love, until we forgot to ask:
Are we still growing the same tree? Or have we started planting two trees whose roots and branches are moving away from each other?
After that night, many small things changed. Our talking time was no longer as frequent. Our laughter became shorter. Words became more careful, not because there was nothing left to say, but because we were afraid of hurting each other. We started measuring our words, even though talking to you used to feel like a stream of water that never ran out.
I still loved you.
You still loved me.
But our love began to tire, because it had to walk alone toward opposing directions.
And there, I slowly learned one thing:
Love alone is not enough, if life wants to take us to places that are no longer the same.