1 Corinthians 6:12
“I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything."
Aeri always found her way back to Yunjin's arms whenever her day was rough. With her girlfriend's arm wrapping around her waist, the familiar weight of her body pressing against hers, their messy hair tangling on the pillow, she always thought wasn't life that terrible after all.
Yunjin lay on her side, one knee hooked over her thigh and Aeri combed through her hair absentmindedly. One of Yunjin's hands was covering her stomach and she could sometimes feel her fingers move against it in her half-sleeping state.
Aeri stared at the ceiling, reminiscing the events of the day. That conversation she had with Wonyoung had greatly pained her, made her wonder how God could be so silent when it came to his followers cries for help. She did not pity them, she only wished the world would be kinder to them.
"I can hear your thoughts from miles away," Yunjin murmured against her shoulder.
A faint smile formed on Aeri's lips and she pressed a kiss to her hair. "I'm sorry, did I wake you?"
"No," Yunjin shook her head softly. "But you do that thing where you clench your jaw when you're upset and I could feel it against my head."
Aeri let out a quiet laugh and pressed her lips together. "Wonyoung talked to me today," she admitted.
"Was it about her?" Yunjin's arm tightened around her waist protectively.
"Hmm.. about both of them," Aeri frowned slightly, thinking. "But it was more about Jimin."
Yunjin sighed and dropped her forehead against her collarbone. "I figured things had gotten worse when she taught the class this morning, she looked like she hadn't slept in days."
"She probably hasn't," Aeri's jaw tightened slightly. "She's getting worse by the day, Wonyoung confirmed it."
Yunjin's fingers curled into her shirt. "And what about her, Wonyoung?"
"Well, she's blaming herself," Aeri scoffed lightly, sadness visible in her eyes. "As if loving someone in silence could ever be a sin."
Yunjin nodded slowly and thought for a moment before speaking up again. "You know that's easy for us to say.."
Aeri shifted in her arms, adjusting both of them until Yunjin was tucked closer to her, as if she couldn't bear an inch of distance between them.
Yunjin was right, they were privileged. They didn't care about the consequences of their love.
They hadn't fallen in love all at once, it had been a slow process. It had started when Yunjin sat beside her in class one day, her knee brushing hers under their shared desk. Yunjin had flashed her an apologetic smile and Aeri had pretended not to notice since she was good at it. Yunjin wasn't.
Later, they shared numerous late-night conversations, both of them complaining about the rules, about their teachers, and about how suffocating this place felt. Neither of them ever mocked belief in itself, but Yunjin liked to listen to Aeri talk about feeling trapped in systems she never asked to belong to.
They liked to sneak out together after curfew to sit on the grass behind the dorms, observing the moon together, sharing a cigarette and a hug. When they sometimes faced trouble, Yunjin had always positioned herself just slightly in front of Aeri, blocking her from the nuns' view to avoid her getting reprimanded.
Just like that, they had fallen in love. And they didn't mind it at all.
Aeri hadn't grown up untouched by religion, she had been baptized a Catholic because her grandmother insisted, got dragged to mass on holidays and Sundays, and was taught prayers she memorized but never truly believed. It had always been a part of her life, one she tried to ignore as best as she could.
She ended up at Cecilia's girls college not because of her devotion to God but simply because of a butterfly effect. She was offered a scholarship and a chance to get away from home, which she couldn't afford to refuse. Being there allowed her to be away from her parents', which was very much necessary if she wanted to preserve her mental health.
"I didn't come here because I believed," Aeri said after a while.
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