"Out Of Goodbyes" | Mina x M / F Reader

7AM in the morning and you just woke up in your bed from the alarm you set hours ago before sleeping.

You slammed the clock shut, stopping it from continuing to rang annoyingly before you rubbed your eyes to clear his vision for him to properly see as another day comes for him to start.

Flopped back into the soft mattress of your bed, you huffed in the air before facing aside to the blank space with you where once, a certain somebody that was very special to you occupies this.

As if your reflexes are still used to it, your body can't help but to react strangely when your skin gets contact in the surface; shivers and heat cursing all over just like what you've always felt whenever she's embracing you at any activities you do with her in this particular bed of yours.

You frowned, a sigh escaped in your mouth as you gave the vacant area a gentle caress before you slowly stood up from the bed.

Bringing the phone with you onto the kitchen, you prepared the ingredients you need for a quick breakfast that you're about to make.

Part of freshening yourself up, you brushed your teeth and washed your face first before returning back to the kitchen and start cooking.

As you were about to began performing the first step, your phone beeped with a notification.

Phone litted bright, you peeked at it and saw the time and the date itself displayed first along with your newly replaced wallpaper consisting of just your own picture.

Out of these three, the date reminded you something that even made you sadder if you'll be looking forward for this whole day.

March 24

It was her birthday... and your anniversary with her.

With your ex-girlfriend.

With Mina.

What you did with the wallpaper won't fool you also, as the location and the person who took that for you was none other than her too.

She was the person you were with on that day, and always has been.

She was even included on your previous one, but what happened between you and her just hurts so much you couldn't even stand seeing her very close to you unlike how you loved it when you and her were once together.

And through that, the memory flashed within your mind which clenched your chest and breaths gone heavy.

FLASHBACK

Tell me actions
Speak louder
But there's something about her words, that hurts.

In the middle of the night as you are currently driving on your way home with Mina, you decided to break the unsettling silence wrapping the two of you inside the car, especially that both of you are holding unpleasant mood towards each other that neither of you can't tell enough what's behind it.

"What happened to you again this time?" You asked her, eyes fixated on the road illuminated from the headlights of your car as you kept on driving carefully.

Mina remained unmoved in her seat, head still leaned at the window as she stared outside to watched the bypassed surroundings of the street you're crossing ahead. "None of your business. Just take me home, please."

You weren't surprised with her attitude shift at you. Here she comes again with her words that speaks louder more than her actions can tell which only results for you to feel something about these words she says to you that ends up hurtful to you. "A-are you sure? You know what I mean, I j-"

"What words can't you understand from what I said, YN? I don't have time for this, okay?"

"Can you blame me for being like this to you?" You said to her, glancing at her. "I just wanted to know, Mina."

"Does it even matter to you?"

"Ofcourse it does!" You raised your voice higher, giving a hint at how your patience is being tested again by her unlikeable behavior. "What kind of a stupid question is that anyway? I'm your boyfriend/girlfriend, don't I have a right to take care of you?"

"Well, I kinda figured it out because I thought I'll just end up getting scolded again and you will be the one who's right here as usual."

"Huh? W-what are you talking about? Is that what you really think of me treating you?"

"Keep driving, YN. I just want to rest now." She ignored your plead of clarification.

"F-fine. I won't force you if that's what you want."

Closing up and it's too late and I'm the last one
Still waiting for you to lock the door

This gap of you finally giving up is inches wide remaining.

You listened to her and returned your focus back on the road as you left her still silent, probably clouded with her own problems.

It makes you worry, of course; but the walls she's building again is preventing you from coming closer and offer assistance to her and you just don't know why she's being like this to you.

What's even worse is that, this ain't the first she's ever done this to you. This occurs every time that you and her are having problems in the midst of your third renewal of relationship with her after those previous breakups you had with her which was caused with different reasons.

She was freely sharing it to you once until days come by when she turns out keeping it secret to you instead and now here she is again, deciding to cope it by herself while leaving you here still concerned about her and you are done with it.

You can't allow this to continue... which is same as what you can say for your relationship with her.

Your wondering and processing reached the breaking point where it now made you realize that this won't lead anywhere at all. This isn't worth it for another chances, opportunities or mercy.

You are now done. You shut the door of each other's home and now you're the only one waiting for her to finally lock it and never be opened again.

Although to be honest, this is the hardest decision you've ever done in your life but there's no turning back now. You ended up here and it's no going back now, especially that you know to yourself that you can't do it anymore.

On our way home I realize
There's some kind of storm brewing in his /her eyes
Only veiled by a thin disguise

You finally reached your place with her. Parking the car slowly in front of the house, she exited quickly without even needing your help to open the door for her like you usually do and what you were about to do also.

She was already in the front door as you followed her from behind. Mina turned her body to face you as she's about to lend you a way for you to insert the key to the doorknob.

There it is, Mina perceived it clearly indeed as she stared at your eyes as you turned at her with a small smile before you faced her with your side profile.

Little did you know that while Mina chose to became quiet after your almost altercation with her, she saw something right through you that tugged her heart and fill guilt inside of her.

She can't tell specifically, but she knows there's something beneath your eyes that informs her that something is wrong about you, only to be hidden barely behind your mask pretending that you are fine in front of her.

But, there's this possibility that she's confident enough to be sure about her thoughts, and that is she knows that you are hurting because of her from the way she acts around you.

She is conscious about it because after all, it was taken effect of her falling out of love from you.

So yeah, both of you were just sharing the same desire to end this relationship once and for all bringing the same perspective. Lost, confused and unmotivated to proceed guiding yourselves at what future holds for both of you together when each of you knew can see that in the end; none of you both were destined to stay together.

You and her entered your house that witnessed your rollercoaster ride of memories together, and for the last time on this very night, it'll all ends here for good.

You changed your clothes to a sleeping garment, so as Mina.

And now that I've done my time
I need to move on and I need you to try
Cause we're out of goodbyes

Mina exits the bathroom, she saw you sitting alone in the bed while seeming as if you're spacing out.

"YN?" She patted you on the shoulder as she stepped in front of you. Your frown and your droppy eyes made her gulp heavily.

It startled you a bit as your eyes matched her beautiful face. The beauty that impressively couldn't have your heart to resist, except for this very moment where you have to let her go completely for the sake of each other.

"Oh you're out now. Let's go to sleep, babe." You forcefully smiled at her. Lifting your lower body for you to lay down on the bed, you were shocked when Mina just gave you a backhug.

"I-I'm sorry. I don't want to be angry and harsh at you. You just wanted to help."

You felt her head shuddered before even hearing her soft whimpers of cries from the tears flowing in her face.

Her affection didn't fail to brought you along with it as you also let out the emotions you're containing within you, cried as you grasped her big yet soft hands wrapped in your torso.

"I know, Mina. I'm sorry too."

"I'm trying, I really do YN but..."

"... there's nothing in there anymore, doesn't it?", you finished her words on her behalf which surprised her.

"H-how did you know?"

"I just don't feel the same too, I guess." You rubbed her hands with your fingers. "Not when I'm in love with the girl that was different from the one I used to know at all."

Mina sobbed in your shoulders, her muffled sounds resonating in your ear as she buried her face to you. "I wanted to tell you already, I swear, but there's something that hold me back. I-I'm afraid to hurt you more once I tell you."

You appreciated her consideration atleast, knowing that there's a glimpse of care stuck in her for you plus convinced that she did tried also to fight for each other's relationship.

"I forgive you, Mina. It's not just your fault too please, we should've talked about this sooner but now that I've done my time for you...

... all I ever want now is to promise me that you'll try again as I move on, okay?

As this, yeah we can call it over now. No more other ways to say it. Not even goodbye once you and I became free tomorrow and head to our separate ways, because we both know that you and I are completely out of it."

You faced her again and cupped her cheeks as she raised her head to stare at you with her pitiful expression.

You kissed her for one last time in the lips before separating yourselves.

"But let this one for you to always remember before you go, Mina...

... I loved you with all my heart. Believe me, as much as I want you stay, I never asked you to change for you became like this. It pains me that you rather don't feel the same as me. That's why we have to do this. I want us to be happy again."

Your bittersweet words made Mina form a smile along with another river of tears streaming down in her cheeks as she holds your warm hand and holds it tightly to her pounding chest.

"I loved you too, YN. You are the best man I've ever known, it's such a shame that everything we had won't work for us at all no matter we try."

You clutched the back of her head and pulled her closer to you, planting a kiss on her forehead as you caressed her hair while she submitted herself in your arms again, willingly wanting to enjoy this for the last time.

"But you know what?"

She hummed in response.

"In all honesty, despite you broke my heart, went through hard times and repeat; I just want to say that I'm still grateful atleast that with those good things you've done, it made me feel somehow that I was the perfect man who would love to spend longer times together with you. "

Mina's quivering lips smiled. She felt her body being carried carefully by you as you made her join you lay down on the bed, with her head resting close into your chest as you helped her ease down her emotions.

BACK AT THE PRESENT

Ending the revisiting of that sorrowful final memory you shared with Mina, you weren't aware that there's a drop of tears landed on the screen of your phone as you drowned in the midst of your deep thoughts of her until you and her drift away in slumber for the last time as lovers at the same bed you were waking up everyday, now being alone.

You wiped your eyes and your cellphone with your cloth before you opened the notification, revealing a message coming from Sana herself minutes ago.

"Good morning Y/NN! When will you come here?"

You replied her immediately, not wanting to make her wait longer as both of you wouldn't want to become late for later.

Few hours later, you arrived at Sana's house and escorted your friend inside the car as you drive through the location of the event that you and her are invited in.

Stepping into the yard, you and Sana caught every person that is present in the yard where the area is designated for an occasion. A birthday occasion.

The celebrant looked at you. That familiar gummy smile, plump pinkish cheeks inflated by the curve and her symmetric eyes she had, a déjà vu effect on you. Seemed so real, bright and colorful just like the first time you met her.

You entered with Sana and greeted your friends one by one until it has come to you and her. It's been a while since both of you got this closer personally and it does felt a bit awkward for each sides.

"You arrived."

You nodded and smiled. "Happy Birthday, Minari."

She offered you a high five before all of a sudden, it got you flustered at her quick hug on you before she releases. "Thank you, Y/NN."

You saw her adorable smile presented at you before she returned back to her friends and invite everyone for a picture.

I wonder does your man still shudder when you touch his hand
Like this man

You aligned yourself with Sana and Momo along with other guests as they captured a photo of Mina and her boyfriend.

Her body leaned closer in his arm as she holds his hand for a pose.

It's been months after the break-up, and with the sight you realized that she must've completely moved on already; as per the promise you requested for her.

You are happy for her, but your heart that is still learning and unable to finally let go its love from her is what gives you an aching sensation.

You looked at her hand wrapped neatly at his, you've been in his spot before and you know how great her touch felt often.

Then you muttered to yourself in curiosity if through that, the man Mina's with now; shows the same affection of love as much as you did.

"You two look great, but does he make you feel loved as much as I did for you? Don't get hurt again Mina, please.", you muttered to yourself in curiosity.

Meanwhile, Mina who's watching you from the distance; talking comfortably with the other friends of yours; was asking the same thing in her mind.

Unlike you, she doesn't harbor any lingering feelings; and she's only hoping the same that you're doing fine these days because too many heartbreaks won't make it worth it any longer.

Just like out of goodbyes, there's no more his and hellos for one another to possibly come back again.