Roommates

Tzuyu had ten days left before she needed to go back to Korea. It wasn't like she was counting them, but she couldn’t help but admit that she was having the time of her life in Japan and it was hard for her to just let that end so soon.

She didn’t want to think about it, really. But sooner or later she had to. She already booked the ticket weeks ago, there was no turning back. Though, Tzuyu realized that if Sana met her sooner, she probably wouldn’t book a flight back. But she wasn't going to think about the what ifs. She just needed to focus on the present.

In the past few days, Sana texted her saying she wanted to bring the gang to a hot spring up in the mountains and she thought it was a great idea. Mina and Chaeyoung seemed to like the idea as well, plus Yukiko and her friend got to go along so she didn’t mind.

The trip was long, and they even had to use cable cars to get up there, which was fun since it had been a while since Tzuyu had been on one. But the look on Mina’s face when the cart started swinging around was priceless. Chaeyoung looked like her circulation got cut with how tight Mina was holding onto her.

But they arrived safely at the place. It was pretty modern too and if you paid more, and the it looked like they could have their own little bath in the balcony of a room. Tzuyu tended to forget that Sana lived a pretty lavish lifestyle. So with the salary Tzuyu got at the shelter, she could probably only afford to dip in the waters for thirty minutes and then leave. Luckily Sana said she was going to cover everything. Though she still felt bad she couldn’t at least contribute to something.

After they decided on who rooms with who, Tzuyu felt a bit of panic when she suddenly said she was willing to room with Sana. She thought about using her compression shorts all night but that was probably gonna leave a sore the next day if she did that. Maybe she needed to keep a good distance from Sana if ever. She could totally do that.

Luckily, Sana decided to step out for a bit to talk to the management. Could be to say hi to whoever and catch up since she mentioned she was very close with the owner of the establishment.

Tzuyu decided maybe she should take a nap, but when she placed her bag down and was about to plop on the bed, she realized the bed was a queen sized bed. And it was just one bed.

“Fuck.”

Okay the bed situation could be solved if there was a free room. Sadly, there wasn't. So either Tzuyu slept on the floor, or she inevitably cuddled with Sana later that night. Either way, she was fucked.

At the moment, the gang decided to take the snowy hike up the mountain and it was a great way to distract herself from the weird, intrusive thoughts about being in the same bed as Sana.

The snow hasn’t fallen as much but the paths were already covered in snow. But despite that, the view was beautiful.

She could hear Chaeyoung wheezing behind her and looked back. “Wow, you have sex regularly now, but you can’t even handle walking up a mountain?”

“Shut—“ Chaeyoung bent over and pointed a finger at her, trying her best to catch her breath. “S-shut up.”

Tzuyu laughed and shoved Chaeyoung’s beanie lower to cover her eyes. “Sure.”

“Fuck off.” Chaeyoung fixed her hat and then looked ahead where the girls were. Sana was clinging onto Mina and the two girls were running up ahead. Guess they had more energy than them.

“To be honest...” Chaeyoung started, her hands were planted on both her hips. “I would love to propose to her right here on this mountain.”

Tzuyu whipped her head at her friend. “For real? You gonna pop the question already?”

Chaeyoung waved her arms around. “No, no.” Then she looked back at Mina and the two started to catch up but in slow steps. “I mean, I love her and I wanna be with her. Proposing sounds like a great idea right now cause I love her that much. But it’s too soon.”

“Guess you love her that much then.” Then Tzuyu paused a bit, a thought came into her head and she wasn’t sure if she should say this. But then again, sooner or later she needed to just acknowledge it and come to terms with it. “It took me maybe two years to gather the strength to propose.”

Chaeyoung froze, she looked at her friend in a concerned look. “Dude, we don’t have to talk about it.”

“No, it’s fine. I think I can handle it now.” Tzuyu assured her but didn’t continue without taking a deep breath. The two started walking again. “I thought we were comfortable. I thought it was finally time. Cause we were dating for so long and it felt like it was the next step.”

Chaeyoung was about to interrupt her again, but Tzuyu laughed it off. “I saw the signs. The toxic behavior, the manipulative words, how she gaslighted me. Everything. I knew what she was doing but I thought, if you love her then you gotta try, you know? The only mistake I made was not having the courage to tell her the truth.”

“What do you mean?”

“Tell her she was being toxic. Allowing her to just do that to me and I didn’t tell her. If I really did care about myself and had the balls to, I would have. But turns out I really didn’t. I guess that’s why I don’t want to take her back.” She couldn’t help but look at Sana ahead of them and then smiled, she looked back at Chaeyoung. “I wanna love myself more cause I probably spent the last five years unloving myself.”

“That’s really deep dude. I didn’t realize it either. But I’m glad you’re taking that step now.” Chaeyoung pursed her lips before continuing. “Do you still have feelings for her?”

Tzuyu was quiet for a bit. She looked at Sana again and then back down on the path. “I don’t know. It’s not as strong anymore. But the pain is definitely there so I guess that’s a sign that I still am affected by it. But I’m so ready to move on, you know?” She looked at Chaeyoung and let out a weak laugh. “I’m ready to close that chapter and start fresh. Maybe realize what the fuck I was missing out on.”

“Damn, drinking sessions at the bar would have been like old times if I was still in Seoul.” Chaeyoung chuckled and had a big smile on her face.

“Yeah but I know you wouldn’t trade it for being here with Mina.” Tzuyu raised a brow at her.

“Oh yeah definitely,” she immediately said, jutting her lips out. “We are planning on going to Seoul with Yuki anyway.”

“Sounds great. Can’t wait.” Tzuyu smiled but she stopped suddenly when Chaeyoung didn’t walk further.

“What about Sana though?”

Tzuyu’s body went rigid. Then she looked ahead and saw the girls were only a few meters away from them. “What about her?”

“You told me days ago that you had soft and squishy feelings for her.” Chaeyoung didn’t seem to look angry or defensive about it. “Do you still have them?”

She paused. Then took a deep breath in. “Can I be honest?”

“Of course, dude.”

Then she sighed, putting her hands inside her pockets. “Yeah I do. Maybe a little bit more than before.” Then she looked at Chaeyoung. “Is it wrong? I mean, I’m trying to stop it. I’m trying not to flirt but when I’m with her it happens so naturally, and I realize that I already did when it’s too late.”

“I don’t think it’s wrong,” Chaeyoung said and took a step closer to wrap her arm around Tzuyu’s shoulders. “What makes it wrong is if you're using this to get over Se-Ri. But lemme ask you something.”

“Okay?”

“When you’re with Sana, do you think of Se-Ri?”

Tzuyu thought for a bit. “Only when we bring up the topic? Sometimes I do, but not cause I still have feelings for her. Maybe when I get reminded by the shitty things that she's done to me.”

“So when you guys are lost in your bubble, you don’t think of her? Like in a romantic sense. Like when you look at Sana, do you compare her to Se-Ri?”

“Huh...” Tzuyu breathed out, trying to warm her hands inside her pockets. “No, never.”

Chaeyoung smiled and brought her closer. “So are you ready to like fuck her or something?”

Tzuyu shoved her and it made Chaeyoung fall on the ground, luckily it was on a snowy patch of grass, so it wasn’t hard. “Oh shit, sorry.”

Chaeyoung laughed it off. “It’s fine.” Then she picked herself up and patted herself down. “I keep forgetting I’m weaker than you.” The two looked back at the girls and it seemed that no one saw what happened. “But have you thought of it?”

Tzuyu gulped. Of course she did, but she wasn’t sure about being honest. “I guess?”

Chaeyoung gave a look. “Sure.”

“What?”

They lagged behind and Chaeyoung made sure the girls were far from them before she continued. “I have eyes and is sane enough to say that Sana is a sexy, beautiful lady. But I am in a happy, committed relationship with the most irresistible woman on this planet, so that’s all I can say.” Then she subtly pointed at her. “You on the other hand, you are single, have eyes and don’t deny it, you have the same sex drive as me.”