The Waiting Game

Three weeks.

It had been three weeks since Sana talked to her. Tzuyu already went to Taiwan, spent the new year’s there, even went through the whole talk about Se-Ri and her breaking up to her parents, and even when she came back to her apartment in Seoul, yet Sana still hasn’t spoken to her.

Three weeks became one month.

Tzuyu hated how lonely she felt ever since then or how quiet her apartment had been ever since that night. She left a message or two to Sana almost every day. When she would try to call her, she could hear the phone ringing but each time, there was no answer.

But she still kept trying to call Sana. Even calling up Chaeyoung and Mina to see if they could get a hold of her. It was obvious they didn’t want to tell her the complete truth but they told her that Mina was able to but she didn’t say anything about what happened to them.

One month became two months.

Tzuyu sent her flowers for Valentine’s Day. But this time, she messaged Momo. It took a lot of strength and desperation to talk to someone she had only met once, and it happened almost three years ago. But Momo was kind enough to indulge her and even sent a photo of the flowers she got for Sana.

She knew it wasn’t the answer. Sana still didn’t message her, and it was starting to get to her. She kept convincing herself that it didn’t matter and that she did it because she wanted to. Though she admitted that there was a part of her that hoped Sana would say something. At least one word. That was all she was asking for.

Two months became three.

At this point, she was just waiting for someone to tell her Sana wasn’t going to the wedding with her anymore. That would be two weeks from now.

Tzuyu felt lost. Not entirely sure what she did wrong or what made Sana cry all of a sudden that night. But it was evident that there was something going on with Sana and Tzuyu wished she knew what it was.

Was it because of her? Or because of their last call and they both pretty much exposed themselves that night? Tzuyu was trying her best to remember anything she did or say that made Sana feel that way.

She just wanted to know what was wrong. She wanted to hear Sana’s voice again.

This was making her feel even more desperate.

Tzuyu couldn’t concentrate at work because she kept checking her phone now and then to see if Sana messaged or called but again, there was nothing.

She was staring out into the field, watching the dogs play in the grass and lick off the melting snow that was still on the chairs or on the concrete. Kaya and Butter were doing great too, seeing how their fur slowly grew back and they had been healthier since they rescued them.

There have been applications for the two, but most of them were for Butter and Tzuyu always intervened whenever they told her about it. Insisting that they should never be separated. There was a part of her that wished she could be the one to adopt the both of them as well, but she didn’t know why she hadn’t done that yet.

She wanted to ask Sana for help, but how could she when Sana wasn’t even talking to her?

With a sigh, Tzuyu grabbed her phone from her pocket and dialed a number. The sound of the phone ringing was starting to haunt her, and she hated how it kept reverberating in her ear with no hopes that someone would answer. But after a few rings, they picked up.

“Hey Tzu,” Chaeyoung greeted her. “You okay?”

Tzuyu stared blankly on the ground. “I guess.”

“Still nothing from Sana?”

She shook her head in defeat. “No.”

Chaeyoung hummed. “I do have a small update though. Mina managed to talk to Sana a couple of times but it was mostly about work related stuff. She didn’t even mention about attending the wedding. Maybe she still will?”

There was a rush of relief to know that Sana was okay and that she was still talking to people. But another part of her felt destroyed because it was evident that Sana didn’t want to talk to her.

“Okay, thanks Chaeng.” She was quiet for a bit, but she knew she really was desperate. “I hate to do this, but can I ask one more favor?”

“Anything.”

“Can you ask Mina unnie to ask Sana something for me?”

Chaeyoung was quiet for a bit but she hummed again. “Okay? What do you want me to ask?”

“Actually I wanna ask you guys this too—Yukiko included.” She heard Chaeyoung react in surprise, but she didn’t say anything. “Should I adopt Kaya and Butter?”

“Yes,” Chaeyoung immediately said. “I know there are cases for failed fosters, but how are they considered a failure when they’re with the right people?” Chaeyoung sounded hopeful, maybe she wanted to cheer Tzuyu up.

Then she heard Chaeyoung call Mina. “Baby, should Tzuyu adopt the babies?”

“Of course. I’m surprised she hasn’t done it yet, to be honest,” Mina said softly over the phone. Then they called Yukiko. “Should Tzuyu adopt her foster dogs?”

“Yes! That’s a great idea!” The teenager’s lively voice made Tzuyu break into a smile. At least she found comfort in their little family.

“Can I talk to Mina unnie?” Tzuyu asked.

Chaeyoung didn’t respond but there was a bit of shuffling over the phone. “Hi, Tzuyu.”

“Mina unnie.” Tzuyu’s voice was a bit strained, like she was holding back tears. But she cleared her throat and took a deep breath. “Can you ask Sana the same question? I wanna know what she thinks.”

“She’ll probably say yes. But yeah, I’ll still ask her,” Mina said softly.

“Why won’t she talk to me?” Tzuyu dropped her head on her hand and tried her best not to let the heavy feeling take over her. “I don’t know what I did wrong.”

Mina sighed. “I don’t think you did anything wrong, okay? I think… you should just be patient with her. I have this feeling she’s going through things, and she won’t even tell us what’s going on.”

Tzuyu nodded, thinking that they could see her response, but she sighed. “Okay. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t say sorry, Tzu.” Mina assured her. “I wish I can fix this or give you the answers. But the best I can do is ask her your question and I’ll let you know what she says okay?”

“Okay, thank you unnie.”

“We’ll be here if you need us, okay?” It was Chaeyoung’s voice now.

Tzuyu wanted to smile, but she had no energy to do it. But she did appreciate what they were doing for her. “Thanks guys. I’ll call you again next time.”

After saying their goodbyes, Tzuyu ended the call. She took another deep breath, trying her best to calm down but the facts were just hitting her hard.

If Tzuyu believed deep down inside that she didn’t do anything wrong, then it was probably something that Sana was dealing with on her own. But that still wasn’t enough to make her feel okay.

She was starting to think that she shouldn’t have told Sana about her feelings. Or maybe they shouldn’t have done things so quickly. Then again, she didn’t feel like she wanted to take anything back. It was her decision to confess her feelings, her decision to have Sana around and her decision to take the next step of their intimacy.

Did she want to blame herself for it? A part of her wanted to. Did she want to blame Sana? Of course not. Sana had no fault in all of this. She was just someone who had feelings and that was not something anyone could control so easily.

Maybe Tzuyu didn’t know she was pressuring Sana. Or that she was depending on her too much. Or maybe she was subconsciously leading her on with no hopes of an actual relationship. But if Tzuyu thought deep down, if she went to the deepest parts of her heart, she knew that she wanted to be with Sana.