The Thirteenth Letter From Her

August 28, 1995

Dear Nayeon,

I’m glad that you’re resting, you deserve it. And at least you got off work for a week, and I hope they didn’t give you a hard time since getting work off can be tricky sometimes, cause you have to make sure someone is there to take over you as a back-up or something. At least you spent the whole time with Momo and I’m happy that she was there with you. She really is your best friend; she doesn’t want to leave you alone because you need her. Maybe if I was there, I’d bring ice cream, you could cry on my shoulder, and I’ll just tell you the funniest stories ever because I can do that. Even if they were made up. Wouldn’t that sound nice?

I know you said you wanted to talk about something else, but I just want to say that it’s okay to feel that way. I won’t elaborate if you don’t want me to. But please hear me out when I say that your feelings are valid and that it’s normal to feel that way when you grieve. I read this passage from a book my mom had. That grief doesn’t go away in time, it doesn’t grow smaller. Instead, it stays in the same size, but slowly, life grows bigger around it. And I think that grief isn’t you entirely if you don’t make it that way. Grief can be a part of you, an important part but only a part. Take all the time you need, Nayeon. You have so much love to give and I know we just met, and we haven’t seen each other personally, but I think you do have a lot of love in you.

You don’t have to do anything if you’re not ready, that’s okay. Take as much time as you need.

Anyway, I’ve been okay. Honestly, I was really worried about you. But I placed Bruce’s picture in a picture frame and he’s on my desk, along with baby Jimin’s lovely drawing. They have been such lovely additions to my bland looking room.

I sent you some pictures I had taken before. The one with the blue sky was back when I was still in college. Chaeyoung had a camera with her, and I wanted to try using the camera and take a picture of the sky. The weather was perfect, and I had to take a photo, and luckily Chaeyoung let me keep it. The others were me and my friends. I’m the awkward one with glasses and flat hair. I used to think that I was going to grow up awkwardly because my glasses were so huge, and my eyesight is just getting worse. But I think I turned out okay? Sorry if I look so weird. But these are memories I have that I liked, and I wanted to share some with you. The rest are scenic photos I took here in Taiwan. You can see from the date that I just got them developed, I just thought that it would be perfect to show you. I hope you’ll like it.

Also, yes, that was Chaeyoung and the one in the cashier probably was Jeongyeon but if she’s short with reddish hair, then that might be Jihyo, Jeongyeon’s girlfriend.

Chaeyoung really likes getting tattoos and that’s her choice. Her girlfriend likes it, and I think they’re cool. Just as long as she doesn’t regret them at all then why not? But you should order the strawberry shortcake, that’s Chaeyoung’s specialty. I promise you; it would be worth the try.

I have a work trip this weekend. We're planning to go to this one resort in the Liujia District. Gonna stay there for the night, and they might force me to drink or something since it’s a company outing. I hope I’ll survive.

I hope that you’ll enjoy your one-week break. Maybe when you get this letter, it’s already over and you’re back to work. But I really hope you do enjoy, get some rest, eat good food and have a good time with Momo.

Take care, okay?

Sincerely,
Dahyun

Dahyun was starting to notice how often Nayeon came into her mind. Sometimes when she was doing nothing, cleaning her apartment, reading her book, watching tv, working, eating, trying to fall asleep.

Her faceless friend had been living rent-free in her head ever since that letter. 

She had never met the dog, but she felt like a part of her was taken away too. It could be her level of empathy that made her be like this, because she always was an emotional person. But knowing the gravity of Nayeon’s loss, it had affected her. She felt the sadness and she understood the pain of it. 

The only thing that made her worry was that she wasn’t there for her friend. But that would be asking too much since they had only just met, and they were countries apart. Dahyun should be convinced that her letters were enough. Maybe until she was able to go home. 

She thought about going to Nayeon’s address. Maybe as a surprise. Since there wasn’t an easier way for them to contact each other within seconds. Unless Dahyun got a Korean phone number then maybe. But then she would have to ask Nayeon her number first. 

What a mess. 

She closed the door to her apartment. Sighing in relief because she was finally home. 

Dahyun wasn’t sure why she decided to walk from the post office. Maybe the fresh air would have helped her with her thoughts. They were getting too in sync with her emotions and that usually wasn’t good. 

Then again, her emotions couldn’t even compare to what Nayeon had been feeling. 

How was she? Was she eating well? Was she crying again? Was Momo there already? 

The telephone suddenly rang and that made her whip her head towards it. That was weird. No one usually called her around this time. 

Oh. It could be Tzuyu. But why would she call? 

Dahyun rushed towards the phone and picked it up. “Hello?”

“Dahyun!” Chaeyoung exclaimed over the phone. The line was a little unclear and it was cutting the sounds of her excitement. “It’s Chaeyoung! Damn, I’m so glad to hear from you!”  

“Wow! Chaeyoung, hi!” Dahyun was genuinely shocked, but the confirmation that it was her best friend made her smile so widely. She hadn’t heard from her for months already and the sound of her voice sent a comforting wave through her chest. But then she remembered the call Jihyo and Jeongyeon made for her and how much that cost them. Her brows suddenly furrowed. “Are you calling from your cell phone? Your bill might skyrocket.” 

Chaeyoung scoffed playfully. “Don’t worry about it! Mom has this thing and I’m too tired to explain but I got an opportunity to call and I wanna know how you are! Don’t worry about the call taking a while, mom said I can talk to you as long as I want.”

She couldn’t believe it. “What? Really? Wow, tell her I said thank you.” Her entire body softened. Momma Son was always so considerate. This call probably cost a fortune, so she had to make the most of it. 

“She just left, but I will when she comes back. So, did you receive my gift?” 

Dahyun nodded, remembering the lovely bag she got in the mail along with gifts coming from her family. “Oh yeah, I did, thank you so much.” She then smirked. “Must be expensive. How did you know I needed one?” 

“Jeongyeon mentioned that yours was broken, and you still brought it with you to Taiwan,” Chaeyoung said, giggling after. “How’s Tzuyu? How’s it there in Taiwan?”  

Dahyun nodded, leaning the receiver on her shoulder as she placed her hand over the back of her sofa. “Everyone is okay. I sometimes have meals with Tzuyu and her family. Taiwan is beautiful, and there are so many places to see when I’m not tired from work. Maybe when my weekend clears up I’ll head out and venture off myself.” 

Chaeyoung hummed in response. There was a pause, making Dahyun raise a brow and then there was another giggle. “Found anyone cute?”  

That made her roll her eyes immediately. “Really? An overseas call and you use it to ask me that?” 

Her best friend laughed out loud this time. “What? It’ll be pleasant news if my best friend finally has someone she finds attractive.” She was about to speak again but Dahyun heard some mumbling from the background. “Mina says hi, by the way.” 

“Tell unnie I said hi back,” she said immediately, smiling at the thought of her and Mina still being together. At least nothing happened. She remembered that Chaeyoung and Mina were in a rough patch before she left, and those two were planning a future together. Dahyun wanted to work things out and stay together for a long time.

Suddenly she remembered what Chaeyoung asked, deciding to clear things out before her best friend assumed something else. “But no, none that has captured anything. Not the way you hope.” 

Chaeyoung scoffed again. “That's boring.”

“Well, that's the truth,” she spat back. But she felt herself pause when the thought of Nayeon came to her again. She could tell Chaeyoung about her? It may not be something of a romantic sense, but she believed it was something worth telling. 

Right?

She started twirling her finger inside the landline cord, feeling shy all of a sudden. “There is… there’s someone I met.” 

Chaeyoung gasped. “Really? From work? Did you meet them on the street?”  

Dahyun winced at the thought. Meeting someone that way wasn't appealing at all to her, and if she did, there wasn't really a chance for her to feel something more from that alone. She waved her hand, as if Chaeyoung could see her do it. “It’s a long story. But she’s a pen pal. From Seoul.” 

There was silence, as expected from Chaeyoung. This wasn’t just a normal here and there kind of thing. Own pals weren’t entirely common for them. And if she had to explain how she met Nayeon, then that would cause confusion as well. 

“From here?” Chaeyoung finally asked. 

“Yeah, it was weird at first, but we’re really good friends now,” she said, not resisting the smile forming on her face as she thought of Nayeon. 

A certain beat in her heart or how she felt so nervous and happy just thinking about her. It was new and she honestly loved it. She loved thinking about Nayeon, and she wondered hopelessly if Nayeon was thinking about her as well.