August 27, 1995
Dear Dahyun,
Thank you for your letter. I’ve been resting. I decided to take a week off from work. Momo and I spent the entire time in my apartment. We talked about life, our careers, our families. We talked about Bruce.
I still cry when I think about him. There are days when I’m feeling better, where I don’t think about him. But when I listen to a song, and if the lyrics have anything that reminds me of him and his existence I just start crying and I feel like I’m back to square one. But that’s part of the process, right? It’s supposed to take time.
Sometimes I think about it, and I would say to myself that there’s no right way to go about grief. It happens, we try to move on and keep living. When I do feel like I’m doing better, I tend to feel guilty. Am I moving on too fast? A part of me wonders if I should get a new dog, but would that be me betraying him? It’s so silly because he’s just a dog but he was everything to me.
Momo said I shouldn’t get a new dog. Not until I’m ready. I get that. I really am not.
I don’t want to talk about that friend. She gave up on him, and she had the audacity to feel cross with me because I didn’t allow her to see him nor me. I’m not ready to see anyone aside from Momo. And I have no time for crocodile tears. Bruce deserved so much more than what she did to him.
Anyway, enough about me. How are you?
I bought bread at your friend’s bakery. The one in the cashier was very friendly. Is Chaeyoung the one with the tattoos? She was putting their products on display when I went there. I bought cinnamon rolls and some lemon squares. It was delicious. I might go back.
But really, how are you? How’s work? How’s Tzuyu? Have you been feeling okay? Can we talk about you?
Yours,
Nayeon
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