What's In A Name?

May 26, 1995

From what Dahyun remembered, the postal office had informed them that letters take two to three business days to be sent within the country. But since hers were sent internationally, it would take about six to ten days.

If she was keeping track of the days, then it had been twenty-one days since she sent her letter. And it had been several extra days since the expected date that she usually received N’s letters.

It honestly would have been a miracle if she got it in four or five days. The postal office probably was working hard on those days. Dahyun wasn’t sure, she didn’t work at a post office.

And she wanted to be sad about it. She really did. But she wanted to find a way to be hopeful about the situation despite it feeling bleak and useless.

There had to be a reason why N hasn’t sent a letter yet.

Maybe the delivery was just delayed. Very delayed. Or maybe N was busy with work, or whatever she did. Maybe she got sick too like that time Dahyun had food poisoning. That was starting to make her worry even more.

Was it something she said? Dahyun didn’t have a copy of her letter so she couldn’t read through her words to see if there was anything that upset her friend.

Was it okay to call N her friend? Was she considered a friend when Dahyun didn’t know her real name? She only knew N’s initials and her address. It would be too impulsive if Dahyun bought a plane ticket to South Korea and went to visit N. What if N didn't want to see her? What if she wasn't able to see N when she did visit her?

Dahyun would feel bad if she took that flight just to see someone she hadn't met yet and not her family first. She didn't even have the money for a plane ticket at the moment. 

She sighed deeply.

Why hasn’t N sent her letter yet?

What if she hated her?

That would be too much, right? Gosh, she wished N's letter would come today, or tomorrow, or maybe even on the day that she was hoping to receive it. But she didn’t want to get her hopes up.

The question in her head was just repeating and repeating. She couldn’t help but just… wonder and worry and be sad about it.

Maybe writing her complete name was a mistake.