The Seventh Letter from Her

May 5, 1995

I pretty much like receiving your letters.

I pretty much like receiving your letters.

I pretty much like receiving your letters.

Dahyun threw her head back, sighing with content as she finished reading N’s letter for the fifth time that day. And it felt like it was meant to be, because when she just got out of the elevator and was about to make it to the exit, she spotted the mailman that was beelining his way to the mailroom. With her mediocre skill in Taiwanese, she asked him if there was any letter for her, and to her delightful surprise, there was.

The way that time slowed down when she reached into his messenger bag and took out the one envelope with the same baby blue colored stamp that was on it, N's penmanship that was scribbled on it, the way she wrote her name, the way she wrote Dahyun's name. It was enough for Dahyun to say that her day was complete, even if it had just started.

She brought the letter to work, restless throughout the morning because of a work huddle that they needed to do before going back to their desks. Dahyun felt like she was going to break her joints from the amount of bouncing her feet were doing.

So when all her morning meetings were done and she could finally go off on her own, she subtly rushed towards her desk, prepared all the things she needed to do for that day and then opened N’s letter.

Dahyun honestly wanted to shout for joy with the words N wrote for her. She couldn’t believe it. It took about five or six letters for Dahyun to write to get N to open up like that.

Or that she was actually concerned about her. Dahyun took a mental note to always drink water and to make sure that whatever she was eating was fresh and that she wasn’t allergic to it. Dahyun really needed to learn from her mistakes, no matter how good the food was.

Then N said that she actually liked receiving her letters. That she felt relieved seeing it in the mail. Dahyun wanted to grab her heart and clench it so badly with how overwhelmingly happy she was from all of that. That had to mean something. Maybe Dahyun just needed to be comforting in her letters, or she should open up more.

Maybe she was doing the right thing all this time. But even if this new stage excited her, she still needed to remember that N was going through something. It did state in the letter that she still had a broken heart.

If only there was something that Dahyun could do to help that. Not necessarily to be the person to mend her new friend’s heart, because Dahyun may be desperately single and all, but she had no idea if N was going to like her that way.

Was she even going to like N that way? It probably wasn’t possible. Dahyun didn’t even know what she looked like. But then again, did she need to see a person to like them that way?

She shook her head. That should be the last of her concerns. Because she needed to focus and write a compelling reply. Something that would make N understand that even if her heart was broken, she wasn’t alone.

Dahyun had to admit, she could easily just book a plane home and look for N on her own. But when that time comes, would she even have the guts to do it? What if she was face to face with her new friend? What was she going to do? What would she say?

Did N even consider her as a friend?

Should she ask?

Maybe they could start by revealing their names. Dahyun couldn’t call her friend N forever. But she also didn’t want to push it. That would be the last thing she wanted. So she needed to find a way to slip that topic in. Or she could be subtle about it.

She had to try. So, she started writing.

Dear N,

I do have a confession; I could never lie to anyone. I don't think I'm capable of doing that. Maybe white lies, if my friends ask me to lie for them, then again… I feel like I'll still end up telling the truth. But yeah, I’ll always tell you the truth, even if we just met. I have no reason to deceive you.

Also, thank you for the concern. I’m feeling better actually. I was having dinner at my friend’s house and her mom made this dish I haven’t tried before and turns out I wasn’t supposed to take anything dairy right after. So that was something. I told myself to be more careful.

I’m sorry the person hasn’t sent a letter yet. Do you have any leads as to where they are? Did you send another letter to them?

Is that okay for me to ask? I really don't want to step on any boundaries and such. I'm just worried, I guess. Is that also okay for me to say?

I'll ask my friend if we can stop by the theater and see what's showing. But I'm not sure if that movie will play. Maybe if it comes out on VHS, I can buy it and watch it then. I was at my friend’s house during the weekend, her parents recently rented out a movie that just came out as well. It was called Heartbreak Island, a Taiwanese film. Really sad. Basically, the main character was in jail for getting involved in terrorist activity and the entire time she was there, she thought about her ex-lover. And when she found out the lover was alive, she tried to keep her sanity up until she was released. But things didn’t turn out well for her in the end. It was intense, but it was also a really interesting watch. Do you like romance movies? Or drama? I like a bit of both, sometimes I watch horror movies for fun, but my friends really don’t like it.

Dahyun quickly grabbed the extra paper that was tucked underneath and wrote on a new one. Good thing she brought spares. She anticipated this.

I will keep sending you letters then. I actually like it. I hope you like it as well. It’s a tedious thing but I think it’s worth it. Sometimes reading a handwritten letter is way better than something you can only stare through a screen. At least I can keep your letters safe and come back to it as much as I want.

Do you get a lot of letters? Doesn't have to be from the person you're waiting for. But in general. Or am I the only one who sends you letters? I don't want to get ahead of myself, but if you're only getting letters from me then I hope they give you comfort. It's the only thing that I hope for whenever I send them.

I really like writing to you, N. I hope that doesn't weird you out as well.

And I like to believe that receiving your letters makes me feel… Exponentially better.

Friends?

PS. I appreciate that you appreciate my efforts. I don't mind doing this.

Sincerely,
Dahyun