The Seventh Letter From N

May 28, 1995

It was a special day for her.

Well… It was supposed to be.

Today was her birthday.

She spent the evening with Tzuyu and her family, they made her a bountiful feast, filled with Taiwanese delicacies and a small Korean one that Tzuyu’s mother made especially for her. Kimchi stew made her think of home, and she missed her mother dearly when she took the first sip. But she tried to keep up her smile, showing how grateful she was to the Chou family for taking the time to celebrate it for her.

But she hated how she just wanted to go home and check if there was a letter inside her mailbox.

That was all she was asking for.

But maybe she shouldn’t expect one, that would just be disappointing. Dahyun was already going to spend her birthday away from her family for the first time, away from home, away from Chaeyoung. Jeongyeon and Jihyo had sent her greetings through a long-distance telephone call, and Dahyun appreciated it so much because she knew how expensive it was to send one all the way from home.

She really wanted to be happy, and she knew that she was. But it felt… incomplete. There was something missing.

And she knew that all she needed was one letter from N. Even if N didn’t know it was her birthday, even if it was just a dinky letter with five words or less. Just something that could tell her that N was still thinking of her.

If only she had enough money to afford a cellular phone so she could just send a message to N, and she would get one back so easily. That was what they were advertising the devices for, right?

Maybe she should have asked for N’s electronic mail, those were pretty instant as well.

But she really shouldn’t be asking for so much from someone she hadn’t met personally. N had a life to live, and she probably had a lot going on her end. Why should Dahyun demand a letter from her?

At least she got cake. One from the Chou family and a small one that was sent to her desk that morning during work. Her team was kind enough to greet her momentarily before everyone went back to their daily tasks.

It was thoughtful and she appreciated it.

Just one letter from N and her day would be complete.

“Here we are,” Tzuyu said as she pulled up in front of Dahyun’s apartment. Her tall friend smiled at her. “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but you seem out of it tonight. Everything okay?”

That got Dahyun to whip her head at Tzuyu. She quickly shook her head and smiled awkwardly. “Yeah, I’m sorry. I really enjoyed dinner today. Tell your mom I said thank you again, alright?”

Tzuyu gave a small smile, but she didn’t look convinced. “You know, you can tell me, right?”

Dahyun was trying to think of something to diffuse the tension between them. But it could be her exhaustion spewing out and she was finally crashing. She looked away, still smiling but it didn’t reach her eyes like usual. “I guess I just miss home.”

There was silence in the car, but Tzuyu nodded her head and looked at her. “I know. But I’m sure your mom or your brother sent something. Chaeyoung told me she was sending something to you, but that might arrive in another week.”

She chuckled. “That dork.” She shook her head. “I’ll try to send something back as thanks.” Then she reached for the door and opened it. “Thank you again, Tzu. You guys are the best.”

Her friend finally smiled bigger and shifted the gear to her car. “Anytime. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Dahyun got out of the car and waved at her. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Drive safe.”

She was still standing on the side of the road as she watched Tzuyu’s car drive off until Dahyun couldn’t see it anymore. She sighed. Maybe a nice hot bath could pick her mood up, that usually did the trick.

There was just a lot going on in her mind and her heart to even think properly, but the idea of warm water hitting her head was definitely making her look forward to something that would actually happen that night. She deserved it. She was the birthday girl that night up until midnight, so she was going to do what she wanted.

But right when she was about to enter the apartment, the glow of the mailroom got her attention. She stopped before taking another step and contemplated. Dahyun hasn’t checked her mailbox yet. Not since that morning.

There was a part of her that wanted to finally skip checking it like usual, because she didn’t want to feel disappointed again, that might make her spiral and she knew that the familiar feeling was creeping in. But the idea that she might miss out on a birthday card from her mom or brother made her feel guilty.

She sighed again, stepping away from the entrance and entered the mailroom again. She was in front of her mailbox again, reaching inside her pocket to grab her keyring and look for the one specifically for it. When she placed it inside the keyhole, she took a moment to take a breath, preparing her heart for whatever she was going to see that was inside her mailbox.

But her shower was waiting for her, so she might as well get it over and done with.

She turned the key, hearing the box unlock and she slowly turned it, opening the small door.

There was a beat. A beat of her heart that resonated through her entire body.

In the middle of her empty mailbox was a letter. She slowly took it, flipped it around and when she read the name of the sender, she felt the tears finally escape her eyes, bringing the letter to her face and allowed herself to cry.

Dear Dahyun,

You have a lovely name. Thank you for trusting me with that.

I’m sorry I haven’t sent a letter. I got to talk to my ex-boyfriend, he came to visit my apartment, and I wasn’t really okay after we talked.

He cheated on me, and pretty much ruined me. I couldn’t bring myself to do anything after our talk. But please don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. I just know that receiving your letters and writing to you has really made me feel better for the past few months.

How are you? Anything interesting that happened to you as you were waiting for my letter?

I’m sorry again. I really wished I did better as a friend and replied sooner. I do have a cellular phone, but my service provider told me that sending a text message out of the country would cost me more money than sending you a letter. Because sometimes I want to ask you what you’re doing at the moment I think about it. You know?

Maybe when things are easier then we can have an easier time talking. But I like your letters. I like reading your handwriting. It’s really pretty.

Do you think the same about my letters? I hope you do.

Anyway, I’ll try to do better, okay?

Please take care.

Yours sincerely,
Nayeon