Dreams Are Just Dreams

Jimin was always a good kid. She was kind and approachable. She followed the rules, she always listened to her parents and her big sisters.

On days where she was supposed to be playing with the other kids, she chose to stick next to her dad while he fixed and tinkered with their car inside their garage. Or be around her mother when she needed help around the house. But that alone was a rare occurrence.

Because her parents were always busy, always at work, always late for meals. But they were never busy enough to ignore her or her siblings.

Sure, there were days where the house was too quiet, everyone was left to do their own thing, but no one was really ignored per se. It was just the relationship between the children and the parents that wasn't as intimate as other families.

She grew up to be independent in most cases; her big sisters were the only ones who really spent time with her. Jimin could even say that Joohyun and Jisoo, along with their cousin Jeongyeon, were the ones who molded her character. That she was the way she was because of their guidance. And they were always there for her in case their parents weren’t present.

During school events, on Jimin’s first piano recital, the times they needed parents to show up in meetings. And on one occasion, during her graduation from middle school to high school.

But that was because both their parents had to visit her sickly grandmother and no one else in their family was able to visit but them. Sadly, their grandmother passed away a week after. So Jimin didn’t take it against them.

And maybe Jimin was so understanding, forgiving and empathetic because her sisters taught her to be. She learned to always be kind and helpful to anyone. To always put kindness first even when the situation was challenging for her to control her emotions.

Because despite her independence from her parents, Jimin was an emotional kid. She was expressive with her love and happiness, whenever she was sad or upset, or even when she was angry. Anyone could read her easily like an open book.

School was easy, but she also got bullied a lot. Not because of her being the immediate target, but because she always protected those who got bullied. Jimin never liked it, how other kids would just pick on anyone just because it was ‘fun’ or because they didn’t like how someone looked or for their status in school.

When it got too much, Jimin would stand up for them. She would fight back even if the bullies would tell her, it was none of their business. But she refused to yield. She wanted to defend the targets. And because of that, these bullies would always taunt her because they enjoyed getting a reaction from her and because they know she would give it easily.

Like a fool.

When she was in high school, that was when she started getting into a lot of fights with boys and girls who got more aggressive as they grew up. The bullying was intensified, her senses had improved, her will to protect had grown ten sizes bigger as well.

Eventually, the verbal attacks would escalate to pushing and then it became even more physical. Fist fights, pulling each other’s hairs, or whatever Jimin could do to make these stupid kids stop bullying. Usually, she would never engage into a physical fight unless the bully would start first. Which usually happened; even if the person Jimin was against was a boy, she wouldn’t back down and she would still spring into action.

Going home with a black eye, a bruised face, arms and knuckles were frequent. Her sisters would scold her to no end, Jisoo would always cover Jimin up in makeup just so their parents wouldn’t find out.

But that didn’t last long when her parents were called to school because Jimin got into a really bad fight that both her and the boy she fought with were sent to the clinic.

As expected, they tore her a new one, but Jimin didn’t mind. She would still do it if it meant that she would be able to defend people. Jimin had a strong sense of justice, and she was just human to act on it.

So, it made sense that she applied for the police academy. Her parents didn’t understand it at first, because they thought she would have gotten a better income if she became a business owner like them or maybe an accountant. But that was not what Jimin wanted.

When she went into the police academy, she only had one thing in mind, to protect people. She felt like it was meant for her. Even if they were strangers. Just like in school.

Her sergeant loved the dedication she showed, how she was so willing to go on patrols with Aeri, or with Christopher, or whoever was available. Jimin would always be there to volunteer.

But not everything ended up the same. Where she could feel satisfied with the work she did, where she could call it a day and say she did her best. There were days where she got challenged, discriminated against, and hated on. She understood why. She was aware that not everyone could trust the police. But she wanted to change that.

Though, the illusion could fade easily.

Especially when she was in a position to act fast and protect that teenager that was held at gunpoint. Even if they killed Jimin instead, that would have been better for her. But no, she was forced to live in a reality where she survived, and that teenager didn’t.

Like she didn’t fulfill her only purpose in this world.

“Jimin, is there anything else you want to tell me?” Dr. Im asked her. Jimin blinked her eyes and remembered that she was at another session with her therapist. She looked down at her fingers and started playing with them. Trying to remember what she was talking about.

She thought about telling her about Minjeong and the dreams she had about the woman but again, she wasn’t sure if she should tell Nayeon. It was weird, she should because this was vital information. She wanted to know why she was hesitant. But maybe she should.

It also felt weird that Dr. Im has insisted on calling her by her first name. Something about trying to treat this as friends catching up just so she could feel comfortable with sharing things. Jimin wasn’t sure if that was appropriate, but she did admit that it was helping.

She took a breath. “I honestly wish I can stop dreaming the same dreams over and over again,” she said blankly when the silence between them was getting louder. Jimin knew that Nayeon wasn’t going to keep probing her to talk because the therapist had made it clear that they could talk whatever Jimin felt like sharing.

So, with a deep breath, she started telling her about Minjeong. How the dreams started, how it was always the same thing, how it made her feel. Then about meeting Minjeong for the first time in person, which to no surprise, shocked her therapist but Nayeon decided to let Jimin continue her talk.

Then Jimin opened up about how she felt towards Minjeong. Doubting herself and the way she felt. Was she only attracted to Minjeong because of her dreams? Were they sincere? Was it okay to feel this way because of that?

Eventually she shared about how she avoided her neighbor when she found out about the ex-boyfriend. Then about Aeri inviting her to the blind double date and how her relationship with Minjeong improved after it. She was happy that they were okay and that they were even closer than before. But it still scared Jimin because these feelings that she had were starting to get out of control.

When she finally finished, updating her therapist about how they were recently, Nayeon couldn’t help but smile widely at her.

“Seems that you’re starting to get better.” Nayeon said gently, fixing her glasses and the pad that she had on her lap. “Well, I would like to believe that you are because if I recall, you said you weren’t interested in having your romantic feelings involved with anyone since your last relationship.”

Jimin sighed with that. She really wanted to believe in Nayeon.

After a few more words and Nayeon prescribed her with medicine that she usually took, she stood up and thanked her before taking her leave. Promising her therapist that she would come back next month.

She stepped out of Dr. Im’s clinic and started walking towards home. During their session, her therapist suggested that maybe she needed to do more hobbies. To help her get her mind off of things. Jimin knew that she didn't want to do new hobbies or continue the ones that she already did. Nayeon probably might tell her to quit her job if things didn't improve further with her progress.

And quite frankly, Jimin would rather look for a hundred hobbies within that day than even think about resigning from her work. She loved it too much; she loved being a police officer.

Jimin knew she could handle it. She knew she could. She just needed to focus on the good things and that these nightmares or these dreams were just simply dreams. She knew that she was capable of making better things into a reality.

It was a Saturday morning, Jimin just woke up and she was going to make herself her first cup of coffee that day. Chaeyoung was already out of the apartment, Jimin assumed since their place was quiet and her roommate wasn’t blasting her usual songs around this time.

She checked her phone and sure enough, Chaeyoung did leave her a message to let her know she was going out to visit her mom and that she was going to be back home for dinner. Jimin was slightly looking forward to that. Usually when Chaeyoung visited her mom, she would always have something to bring home and Jimin loved home cooking from her roommate's mother.

Chaeyoung’s mom could definitely compete with her sister’s cooking. They were both really good. At least there was something to look forward to that day.

Jimin waited patiently as the coffee is being made, she went to the bathroom really quick, washed her face and checked herself in the mirror. She scrunched her nose when she wasn't really satisfied with what she was seeing.

Once she went out, she was about to beeline to the coffee maker, but she stopped on her tracks when she heard a faint noise coming from the shared wall she has with Minjeong. With a guilty smile, Jimin walked over and leaned in a bit, hoping to hear Minjeong’s voice first thing in the morning.

Coffee and Minjeong’s singing voice. That was a great way to wake up.

And it was perfect because Jimin had an absolute shit time trying to fall asleep the night before. Thoughts of her therapy session and fears of having a nightmare were invading her mind and she just couldn’t sleep. Another reason was because Minjeong passed out way too early and it cut their conversation short, forcing Jimin to say good night.

But it didn’t matter, she managed to sleep and she could enjoy her morning. The bad things had to happen so the good could push through, she thought to herself. A mantra she kept to herself all the time.

The sound of Minjeong’s sweet singing took her out of her thoughts and Jimin caught herself smiling like an idiot again. It was probably another happy song, or maybe a love song. Jimin couldn’t understand the lyrics since Minjeong seemed to be far away from the wall, but it was still audible enough to hear.

Suddenly the song changed, Minjeong stopped singing and that made Jimin purse her lips. Plus, she wasn’t fond of the artist.

Jimin thought of being playful that morning. So, she whipped up her phone from her pajama pocket and sent a quick text to Minjeong.

8:34 AM