Who Are You?

“Gah~”

“Fuck.”

“Ummhhh. W-wait-! Ah! Take it out, take it out!”

“Shut up!”

“Ah~~~!”

Is what the actors in this JAV(Japanese Adult Video) are screaming inside your laptop in the middle of the night. (Yes, those are the subtitles, the actors are indeed talking in Japanese.)

You, the one that’s currently watching, is pumping your shaft up and down until you too are close to blow.

“Shit!” you frantically turn your head around in search of the tissue. Who even jerks off without preparing such thing(s)?. Luckily you find one right when your sperm are on the tip of the iceberg(by iceberg, it means your penis).

Your whole body goes slack after the white liquid leaves your body entirely. Landing on the much needed tissues you grabbed milliseconds before erupting. This is your third time jerking off to porn this week, and it’s only Monday.

The post nut clarity hits you like an F1 car through the 130R corner at Suzuka Circuit. Your eyes cry harder than your dick ever could.

Honestly, your life wasn’t always this pathetic. Not until last week, at least.

Your girlfriend of five years broke up with you last week. Karina–yes, THAT Karina–said, and you quote her exact words : 

“I’m sorry babe, but I really don’t see a future with you. Not that it’s your fault, of course, I just had, different vision of life. And I don’t see you ever appearing in that vision, I’m sorry. You can hate me if you want. Actually, please hate me, okay?”

She left you as abruptly as she once came into your life. To this day, you haven’t gotten any news from her. Hell, you’re not even sure whether she was still alive or not–of course you hope she’s alive and well, thing is, you don’t fucking know shit.

She’s history. Try to understand that. And you did try, for the past entire week you tried your best. To forget her. To hate her, even. But be honest to yourself, how realistic is it actually, to hate–and forget–Yu Jimin of all people?

Last week felt like an eternity. “So this is what it’s like to be a zombie” you thought to yourself on a random Wednesday night on your way back home. 

You tried drinking, but your body really cannot handle alcohol. You tried lifting weights, but you already do ever since you were a teenager, it makes no fucking difference. You tried exploring nature, only to realize it makes you even lonelier than ever. Lastly, is what you’re doing now, jerking off to porn.

Does it work? Absolutely not. All it does is bring back the memory of the insanely delicious body of your former girlfriend. Granted you only started jerking off this Sunday, so you can still search for yet another alternative to numb the pain.

–

“How do you get over a break up?” you ask your co-worker.

Her head goes forward a little. Her eyebrows are furrowing, eyes squinting. “WHAT!” it shocks the whole office. “Sorry, what?” she says once again after turning her head around the place to apologize.

Her name is Gawon. A senior of yours. A respectable worker, a responsible adult, and a heavy smoker. Seriously, she smokes half a pack on lunchbreak, more if she is stressed out–which is often the case. Just by your first introduction with her, you already knew you could trust this woman.

“Yeah, I broke up last week.”

She leans her head down towards where you’re sitting. “You lost her?! The Karina? Seriously? How???” she’s half whispering now.

You shrug. Normally you’d throw hands for what she’s saying, but you can’t even muster the energy to get angry right now. “I don’t know, nor do I have the chance to get her back, I think. She’s gone. Like, really disappeared for this entire week. That’s not normal for a girl like her, right?”

She’s nodding. “Riiight, if I remember correctly she hasn’t posted anything on her insta so far, that is pretty weird. Well anyway, what was your question again?”

Okay, she’s really getting on your nerves now. “Tck. how-does-one-get-over-a-break-up-with-Karina. You happy now?!” you hiss.

She cackles over your shoulder. “Alright alright, sorry! Uhm, well, I don’t know how you’ve been faring this past week, but what have you tried? Tell me.”

You look at her with empty eyes. “Gawon, I’ve tried everything. Everything I could, at least. Tell me, what should I do if I don’t know what the fuck I should be doing,” you cover your face with your palms before sighing a long breath.

Her hands are doing the thinker pose–she doesn’t mean it to be funny, but you genuinely find it hilarious. “Ah!” she exclaims, with her right index finger pointing up and all. “You said you tried everything you could, right? Which means, you’ve been fighting it alone?”

“Uhm, yeah?”

“Then you should try fighting it with someone else!”

You almost jump out of your seat to bonk her in the head. But you persist, she’s still your senior at work, remember that. “Haaaaaaah-. Well, if it were that easy then everyone would’ve done it already, no? Gawon I couldn’t even wake up without the urge to kill my fucking self for FUCKS sake,” you–and her–immediately cover your mouth. That ‘fuck’ was way too loud.

After you and her are done looking around–there were stares, but ultimately nobody cares–you both are sighing almost simultaneously. 

“Alright. Jeez, I’m sorry for trying to help” she mocks, hands on her hips now. “But seriously, have you tried seeing someone new? Anyone?” 

“Well, yes, uhm, you?”

This time it’s her turn to be annoyed. She smacks your head right away–lightly. “Not like this dumbass, I mean, seeing someone as in, asking someone out. A dating, or maybe just a one night stand. Whatever you’d want. Have you heard of the phrase ‘sex so good it changed their life’?”

You laugh. Actually laugh. After wailing in self-pity for an entire week, this is the advice that you got. “Yeah? Well the sex with Karina was good too, so,” mentioning her name successfully makes you weep again.

Gawon looks at you with pity. She gently holds your right shoulder. “Hey, I’m not saying this as a bad thing. But you never know until you try, no? And you only ever tried it with her, right?”

You squint at first, but then you understand what she’s trying to say. You nod after, defeatedly.

“Plus, I have a friend that might be able to help you out. Of course, only if you’re willing,” she shrugs. Her hands are in the air to her sides, palms facing up and spread out.

You unknowingly blush to that. “This doesn’t mean I’m a bitch boy slut, am I?”

A stifled laugh comes out of her mouth. “N-no, no it doesn’t. I mean, for me at least, I would 100% understand,” she pats your back.

You nod. Perhaps you should give it a try. “So, who is it?”

“My name is Sooin,” the girl standing in front of the hotel room introduces herself. Her right hand is offering a handshake, still waiting, floating in the air.

“WHAT THE FUCK!” you scream inside your head. “HOW THE FUCK?” still inside your head.

“Uhm, yeah, come in. Make yourself comfortable,” you accept her hand, guiding her inside.

As you let her pass, you watch her closely from behind. What. The. Actual. Fuck. How does Gawon have a friend that looks almost identical to Karina?

She glances over her shoulder. Seemingly knowing that you were watching her. “Is there something wrong?” she says with a smirk.

You just shake your head silently. Standing there like a statue with her presence towering over you.