Chapter 7

Yuno's POV

I inhale the evening air, letting the aroma of grass fill my lungs. The full moon watches over us with a gentle gaze, casting an intimate spotlight on me and Minji. She leans over the railing, watching the streetlights flicker on the town below and imagining that they're stars shining from a million miles away.

A cool breeze whistles past. I wrap an arm around Minji for warmth, and she leans into my touch.

It's quiet. Peaceful. Perfect.

"The moon looks beautiful tonight," she comments. I nod, but all my focus is on her: the girl more beautiful than any celestial body could hope to be. Her hair dances with the wind like a stream of the finest black silk; her eyes, so full of wonder and possibility, hide their own galaxy within. Planets, constellations, blackholes, pieces of Minji only revealed to those that can see beyond her surface.

Being here, alone, with her—I could die with a smile.

"Minji," I utter softly in the narrow space between us. She turns to me, a knowing smile on her lips, and shuts her eyes. She's waiting.

With a quivering breath, I slowly lean in, captured in the force of her gravity. As I move closer and closer, warm puff of her breath brush my cheeks, like the first ray of sunshine after an arduous winter. Her soft lips are the last thing I see before my vision grows dim.

And then, nothing.

My eyes shoot open. Minji is gone, replaced by the slow whirling of my ceiling fan. I jolt upright, desperately searching for her, only to be met with the dull layout of my bedroom. A disappointed sigh leaves my lungs—just a dream.

My phone sits on my bed and the memory of my fruitless attempt at texting her comes crawling back. How fucking pathetic. In my dream, I have no problem being all lovey-dovey and shit, yet I can't even think of a single thing to say to her in the real world. My fingers hover over the keyboard, some last ditch effort at searching for the rights words to say, but it's all for naught as I end up texting the group chat instead.

Yuno: Good Morning.

Yujin: GOOD MORNING!!!!

Winter: good morning :)

Yuno: What are you two up to?

Winter: working :/

Yujin: im hanging out with my grandma!!

With the two of them busy, I'm left to figure out how to spend my Sunday alone. I click over to Minji's blank messages one last time, my heart palpitating weirdly. Whatever this feeling is, love or otherwise, it's getting old quickly. Everything is confusing, and unlike most of my problems, I can't just brute force my way through it. What am I even hoping for here? A relationship? I don't know anything about relationships or dating or how to be a boyfriend.

Minji's boyfriend, huh? That sounds kinda nice.

No. We're too different, and I don't exactly have any redeeming qualities. I mean, Minji is like... a shining star—beautiful and radiant, but unattainable. And I'm just a sad cockroach that gets to look at the star. I wouldn't be surprised if my entire existence is just some sick joke played by whatever it is that's up there.

We're just friends, and that's okay. And yet, I can't quite ignore the dull pain in my chest from the thought of being 'just friends'. With a heavy sigh and a couple thousand unanswered questions, I send her a simple "Good Morning" text. Because that's what friends say to each other.

Heading downstairs, the sizzling of melting butter and the heavenly scent of warm maple syrup grows stronger, making my stomach growl louder than a lion asserting its dominance. My dad flips another pancake onto a growing stack, two more still cooking on the stovetop.

"Good morning, Yuno," he greets me with a quiet smile. "I made some breakfast. Help yourself."

I quickly take a seat and stack a couple pancakes onto my plate, practically drooling at the sight of these golden-brown disks of perfection. The warm scent wafts past my nose and I suddenly remember that first morning at Minji's house. Despite being complete strangers, she still offered me a place to sleep to avoid the rain, warm clothes to change into, and even went through all the trouble of making me waffles. She didn't have to, yet she did, and it made all the difference in my measly little life.

Minji is just so... incredible. And beautiful. And intelligent and kind and sweet and—

"Uh, are you okay?" I hear my dad ask. "You've been staring at your pancakes for a while now."

I shake my head, pulling myself back into reality. "I'm fine." 

That's a lie. I'm not fine. A girl—THE girl—is taking over my mind, making my heart feel weird and my mouth feel dry. I like a girl that can't possibly like me back and I'm just supposed to be fine with that. How do I even begin to explain this to anyone?

My dad sits across from me at the table and fills up his plate. The silence between us begins to grow as we eat, an air of unease and uncertainty filling the room. On top of my feelings for Minji, I now have to deal with my feelings regarding the state of my dad. It's been years since I last saw him like this. He's fine now, but what if he relapses? How did he even make such an abrupt change anyway when all I saw him doing was sleeping and drinking? I should be happy, but I can't shake the feeling that he could just revert to his older self without warning. I can't cling to hope for too long, otherwise I'll be met with disappointment yet again.

"So, I was thinking," he says, nervously clearing his throat. "Would you wanna go to the mall later?"

I freeze like a deer in headlights, caught off guard by his sudden question. "The mall? Why?"

"You don't have to go if you don't wanna, I just thought..." He sighs heavily, dropping his expression to the floor. "I want to be your dad again, like old times, before your mother... left us. If you don't want anything to do with me, I understand, but if it's okay with you... I want a relationship with my son again."

He looks into my eyes with a sincere expression, tears threatening to pour. A part of me wants to say no, to make up some lame excuse and wander the streets until it's dark instead of spending any time with him. Maybe he's right. Maybe I am harboring some resentment for him for leaving me, a child, alone all these years, left to watch my one remaining parent shatter into a million pieces every day until he's nothing but dust. Maybe I got so used to being alone that the thought of relying on someone else again makes me uncomfortable. Maybe I get into these stupid fights and aimlessly walk around the neighborhood because I know that the only person waiting for me at home is constantly drunk and sleeping.

Despite that, I don't say no. I nod my head and utter, "Okay," because the other part of me wants to have my dad back regardless of what he did. I want to be able to come home after school, into a home with the lights on, where the air doesn't constantly smell like alcohol, and have someone, anyone, ask how my day went. I want someone to rely on when life gets too difficult to handle by myself. I want my family again.

So we eat our breakfast in silence. The uncertainty lingers, but next to it is a warming sense of hope, holding its hand in reassurance.

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Minji's POV

Knock, knock, knock

"Minji?"

Knock, knock, knock

"Honey, are you awake?"

I finally sit up, rubbing the drowsiness from my eyes. "Now I am," I yawn, stretching out my limbs. The clock reads 7:12 AM, about an hour after I usually wake up on the weekends. My phone lay face up on my bed, still on Yuno's empty messages. Like an idiot, I waited all night for a response from him, but all I got was an hour less of sleep. Maybe I shouldn't have held my breath for him.

My mother swings my bedroom door wide open. "Oh good, you're awake," she says, pacing around my room and picking up some of my laundry off the ground. "Go eat breakfast and get washed up. We're going to the mall."

"The mall? Why?" I ask.

"Oh, y'know... Just some clothes shopping," she says with a peculiar smile. "We need to update that closet of yours, dear."

Too drowsy to argue, I get out of bed and head downstairs, where my father is taking a call in the kitchen. Wisps of steam float from the mug of black coffee sitting on the counter next to him, untouched as he presses his phone to his ear with an intense focus. He mouths "Good morning" to me, gesturing to a plate holding a simple cheese and spinach omelet. I dig in, unintentionally eavesdropping on my father's conversation.

"Mhm. Tuesday you said? No, it's not a problem at all. Yes, she will be there, I'll make sure of it. Yeah. Mhm. No problem. We'll see you then."

Finally, he hangs up the phone and sits next to me at the dining table. Wrinkles of exhaustion decorate his face, likely from working early in the morning.

"Did you sleep okay, Minji?" He asks. "You're usually up earlier than this."

"I slept fine. I thought I'd get some more studying done after I got home and forgot about the time," I lie. I can't even imagine how furious he would be if I told him that I stayed up all night waiting for a text from a boy.