Chapter 10

Yuno’s POV

Like a cliche, gray clouds gather in the sky, promising a downpour on a day like this—the day I hit lower than rock bottom. The only silver lining I can find in all this shit is finally being able to see Minji after what feels like forever. I just wish her parents weren’t also here.

“Here,” Mrs. Kim says, sliding a paper cup of water and a wrapped pastry towards me. “You should eat.”

The coffee shop, in all its efforts to appear lively and casual, just feels like another wing of the hospital—quiet, heavy, and full of people barely holding on. I take the flimsy paper cup and sip at the stale water. The pastry stays untouched. I'm not sure I can stomach it right now.

“Thank you,” I utter, not quite meeting their eyes. The usual disdain in them doesn’t feel as strong today.

Minji fidgets with her hands under the table. Everything that happened after she found me in the hallway went by in a blur. Part of me still can't believe that it's really her. The other part of me wishes she didn't find me in such a sorry state.

Mr. Kim clears his throat. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah.” I stare into the empty paper cup, rolling it idly in my hand. “It’s my dad. He…” My voice gets caught in my throat. I grit my teeth in an effort to compose myself. “...He’s sick."

A beat of silence passes as my words slowly sink in. “We’re sorry to hear that. Truly,” Mr. Kim offers.

I just nod, unsure of what to say. A heartfelt apology feels so foreign, especially coming from him.

“How is his condition?” he asks.

“Stable, I think,” I mutter. “He’s breathing.”

“Breathing is good,” Minji utters, her voice so soft I almost miss it. She opens her mouth like she wants to say more, but decides against it in the end. As small as they are, those words mean more than anything.

Mrs. Kim slides the untouched pastry closer to me. “You need to eat something if you’re going to be there for your father,” she says, not unkindly.

I glance at her with uncertainty. The lack of iciness in them feels especially jarring. Nonetheless, I take the pastry, offering a small yet grateful nod.

“We should get going,” Mr. Kim says as he glances at his watch. As Minji’s parents head towards the exit, Minji’s lips quiver as if she wants to say something.

“U-um,” she stutters, “Father, may I—”

“I’ll bring the car around,” he says, wearing an expression I can’t quite read. “It looks like it’s about to rain.”

“Don’t take too long, dear,” Mrs. Kim adds, sparing us a brief glance.

Minji lets out a long exhale as her parents exit, leaving the two of us alone to speak. There’s so many things I want to say to her, yet so little time.

The first thing that comes out is a small, “Thank you.”

She lets her lips lilt into a gentle smile, the mask she wears in front of her parents melting away. “I haven’t even done anything,” she says.

“You’re here.” I let out a short breath. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t found me.”

Minji’s eyes turn glassy as they peer into mine. “I’m sorry about everything. You don’t deserve any of this.”  She leans forward a bit, her expression growing stern. “And you better not say you do, because you don’t.”

I can’t help but smile at her remark. “Okay. I won’t.”

“Good.” Her eyes soften and I get lost in them like a maze I don’t want to escape. The last time I was able to stare at them like this feels like a lifetime ago. 

“How are you holding up?” she asks. “Every time I see you, you seem so… tired.”

I sigh, my body sinking into the chair. “I am,” I admit. It’s been forever since I’ve been able to properly eat or sleep. My sanity is holding on by a thread and I can barely control what's left of me these days.

Minji tentatively reaches out, interlocking her fingers with mine. Every muscle in my body loosens as our palms mold against each other like puzzle pieces. Who knew a touch could be so gentle?

“I… don’t know what this means,” I utter, staring at our intertwined hands. “But I want to know.”

Minji’s lips quiver with hesitation. I wonder if that was the correct thing to say. Was it too soon? Should I have just kept my mouth shut? Before I can linger on the thought for any longer, a black car rolls up to the front of the coffee shop. From outside, Mrs. Kim waves at Minji to leave.

Both of us jolt our hands back in fear of being caught. Why does this have to feel illegal? Why is it so hard just to hold her hand?

“I have to go. I’m sorry,” Minji mutters, a sigh drawing from her lips. “I really, really, really want to talk more, but…” Her gaze falls to the ground.

“It’s fine,” I breathe. The words feel bitter on my tongue. “You should go.”

Minji reluctantly trudges towards the exit, looking back just one more time. I can see it in her eyes, all the things she wants to say dancing at the tip of her tongue. It feels comforting in a way, knowing that I’m not the only one who feels like this. 

“Bye, Yuno.”

“Bye, Minji.”

I watch her car leave until it's nothing but a black dot in the distance. Once again, I'm alone.

I sink into the chair, the weight of everything pulling me down. But, for a single fleeting moment, resting in Minji’s palm, I felt like I could finally breathe. Like fate threw me a damn bone for once.

The unopened pastry sits idle in front of me. Tentatively, I tear open the plastic wrapping and bring it to my lips. It tastes… stale and cold—but it’s enough. Enough to make me realize that, despite it all, I have to keep going. Too much is at stake if I give up now. And I’m not ready to say goodbye to the people around me, the ones that saw a reason to stay that I haven’t been able to find in myself.

So, I force myself to chew through the tough pastry. Because I need to eat something if I plan on moving forward.

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The brief talk I had with Minji yesterday didn’t change much. It didn’t magically make my dad recover overnight. It didn’t erase Sunghoon from existence. But at the very least, it made me feel a little lighter. The problems I’m facing are my own, but I have people around me now—people that care enough to make my burdens more bearable.

And right now, there's two people that I've been pushing away for far too long.

My footsteps echo throughout the empty hallways as I walk towards my locker. I’m never at school this early, but I need a second to breathe before I face Yujin and Winter. I’ve been a shitty friend to them these past few days, stumbling around like a zombie while pretending that everything’s fine. Yujin’s constant worry, my outburst against Winter, I need to apologize for all of it.

“Hey.” I hear Yujin’s voice approach me from the end of the hallway. Winter trails behind him, like she’s bracing for another outburst. “We got your text. You wanted to talk?”

My gaze falls to the ground, unable to meet their eyes. “Hey. Yeah, just… sorry. For everything.” I suck a breath in through my teeth and release it back into the air. 

The air between me and them is silent and distant. Maybe I really have fucked things up for good. “When shit hits the fan, I shut down,” I continue, fist balled inside my pocket. “Don’t talk for days, sometimes weeks if it’s that bad. It happened back then when… when my mom died.” I feel the words tangle up in my throat, threatening to choke me, but they need to know the whole truth. They need to know why I am the way I am. Why I’m so bad at shit like this. If I’m gonna be better—for them, for Minji—they need to know the truth.

“Back then, it didn’t matter. There was no one around me I could talk to. Everyone knew me as the shy kid with no friends, so on the outside, I seemed fine. My dad did the same. I would always find him staring at pictures of mom. He wouldn’t cry, just… stare. Like if he stared long enough, she’d step out of the frame and everything would turn back to normal.”