TURiSTA

It’d probably happened somewhere between your fourth drink and the second volleyball game with her friends. You’re still not quite sure. Whatever it was, you’d said the wrong thing, and Kim Chaewon’s face had hardened into stone, and she excused herself from her own home without a word to you.

“Where are you going? Can you at least talk to me?” You follow a few steps behind her, your paths tracing the shoreline.

Chaewon marches on, feet digging into the wet sand on the surf of the beach. The sound of your voice only spurs her on, picking up the pace to widen the distance between you.

“Chaewon, come on,” you plead with her. “My flight’s in the morning. Do you really want to end it like this?”

At that, she stops abruptly, and you catch yourself just short of toppling into her tiny frame. Hands balled into tight fists, the skirt of her white dress billowing in the breeze, her shoulders hunch, tensed like a string ready to snap.

A beat, and then she whirls around, facing you.

“Why the hell not?” she spits accusingly. Her eyes are rimmed with red, though from hurt or anger, you can’t tell. “Why am I always the one adjusting to you? Making things more comfortable for you?”

You blink like she’s just slapped you in the face. “What?”

“You just come here, stay in my house, drop into my life, and I’m the one that’s not allowed to be angry?” She’s breathing heavily now, every word laced with venom and spilling from her lips faster than the one before, like she’s been holding them in since the day you arrived. “You come here, you charm my mom, you bond with my friends, you get to treat my life like some shiny fucking tourist attraction, and then you just get to leave. And I can’t be upset?”

“Chaewon—”

“How is that fair?”

“Chaewon,” you say, dumbly. Your hand falters halfway to her face before returning uselessly to your side. “This was my vacation. I have a life, work, responsibilities waiting for me back home. You—”

Struggling to find any of the right words, you breathe deeply, hands on your waist. Your eyes fixate on her old, worn-out sandals, and her scraped-up feet, caked in wet sand.

“I thought you knew that.”

Chaewon lets out a short, bitter laugh, face falling forwards into her hands.

“See? That’s exactly what I mean.” Her voice thickens, like she’s just come to some disappointing realization about you, and is still trying to accept it. She meets your eyes again with a sad smile. “This is all just a vacation for you. An escape. You get to drive down the coast and visit markets and dance in festivals, get drunk off your ass with my family, and whatever the hell else you want to do. But for me, this is my whole life. This town, the house, the bills, the debt: those are my responsibilities. Except I don’t get to run away from it. I don’t get an escape. But that—that’s okay. You’re right. That’s what you came here for. And I knew that.”

You’re stunned. Chaewon gives you one last smile and leaves you standing there on the surf. You watch her retreating figure for far too long, wondering how you missed it.

You find her behind her house later that night, sitting on the sand and hugging her knees close to her chest. She barely spares you a glance as you settle on the ground next to her, stretching your legs.

Far from any overpopulated cities, the midnight sky is filled with the twinkling lights of the constellations, and more stars than you’ve ever seen in your life. The moon hangs high, reflected over the rippling waves in front of you.

“I heard you in the kitchen the other day, you know.” 

You turn to look at Chaewon, waiting expectantly. 

“With my mom,” she clarifies.

You hum in understanding. “When she asked me if I’d ever live in a town like this?”

She nods, mutely. “Do you remember what you said?”

You sigh and think back, leaning on the heels of your palms and tilting your head up to the moon. “I said that I’d love to. It’s a beautiful place. It’s so peaceful, and I love the people here.”

“Mmm.” The silence stretches on, filled with the soft sounds of waves cresting on the shore, and broken again by Chaewon. “Do you remember what else she said?”

“Oh,” you trail off, heat rising quickly to your cheeks at the memory. “She, um. She said that we looked like a good match.”

She chuckles. “I wonder where she got that idea from.”

You snort, turning away as your face burns. 

The night settles again, the quiet settling into something that feels too much like finality for your liking. There’s so much you wish you could say to her, but how much of it would be empty words? What can you promise her, really?

“You came here, turned my life upside down, made me—” Her voice is thin, fragile. Like at any moment, she might crumble in front of you. “You made me feel this way, made me want more from you, and you just get to go home after. You don’t have to deal with the hole it leaves.”

“You know I don’t want to leave, Chaewon,” you say like it matters, as if that knowledge would soften the blow somehow.

She turns to you, wordlessly, and just smiles at you. Her eyes glimmer.

“This won’t be the last time. I’ll come back,” you try, uselessly.

With nothing more to say, you both look out to the endless ocean ahead, and the moon and stars above. You’ve truly never seen a more beautiful sky.

“We had a good time together,” she says softly, offering you one last, fragile smile.

“Yeah.” Your lips turn up in your own sad smile. A silent apology for all the things you can’t give her. “We really did.”