Dim Lights

Sana had always lived a normal life. She was a good daughter, a diligent student and a great friend to whoever she met along the way.

She always dreamed of living in Korea for the majority of her childhood years and she felt like she was walking on cloud nine after her parents finally allowed her to move there for her college years.

Being the only child in the family had its perks, but the way her parents would want to tie her down and beg her to stay with them in Japan made her feel suffocated.

She loved the feeling of freedom, wanting to be independent and on her own for a change.

When she moved into her dormitory the first time when she started out in college, all she could think of was what her roommate was going to be like, was this person going to be her first best friend ever and what fun and adventurous stuff they would get themselves into once they get closer.

But to her dismay, her roommate was the complete opposite. They barely talked, she was almost always alone in her room, and they never had the chance to sit down and get to know each other. It was then when Sana realized she was terrified of being alone.

Her days would turn upside down when she went to school, she always had people talking to her and would hang out after classes. But the joy of that would end quickly when they would leave her to go about the rest of their day or say that they had to go home and call it a night.

Sana hated being alone and the feeling of loneliness terrified her. She vowed to always make sure she was there for someone. She wanted to be a light to someone’s dark and gloomy life.

That was when she met Mina.

Due to erratic scheduling, she was placed in a class that was a completely different course from hers. She took up Language as a major and the class she had to be in was a business one. But she was optimistic, she had another chance to meet new people.

She immediately spotted Mina at the back of the class, alone and scribbling on her notebook. Sana smiled and beelined all the way to Mina’s desk and sat right next to her. Of course Mina wasn’t fond of the new company, and she never failed to let Sana know she wasn’t interested in making friends.

But after being in that class and her seatmate for a whole semester, she was able to crack the icy walls of Myoui Mina.

They became friends in the end and Sana couldn’t help but feel hopeful for this friendship. She had friends come and go, people would see her and hang out but would leave her once they had nothing else to do with her. Mina was different, she stayed and even after not admitting it, she showed how much she cared for Sana.

Despite being polar opposites from each other, they had a lot of things in common. Mina was also born and raised in Japan, moved to Korea a couple of years earlier than her and they both were only attracted to women.

Sana came to realize how much love she had for this timid woman. To her surprise, she never felt any romantic feelings for her. Mina was a gorgeous woman, despite her demeanor. They were both head turners in campus, but none of them ever indulged in any advances they received from potential partners.

Of course, Sana had girlfriends come and go and Mina stayed single for most of their college years. Agreeing that in the end, they just needed each other and that was enough.

The amount of affection she had couldn’t be contained at times and would spontaneously come in for a hug and maybe steal a kiss on the cheek or two when she had the chance.

Mina wasn’t a fan of it at first, confessing how she was used to being closed off and kept a good distance between herself and other people. But Sana couldn’t help it. She wanted to be as close as she could to Mina. Even coming up with different nicknames for her friend, which the other didn’t mind. Just as long as it was just Sana who called her that.

Their friendship was solidified when Sana discovered that her roommate moved out without telling her. She remembered crying herself to sleep that night, realizing how loud the silence was in her room. The first thing she did was to call Mina and pour her heart out; eventually she begged Mina to move in with her instead, crying and confessing how much she hated being alone and how much it scared her. After a few moments of hesitation, Mina agreed and moved in with her the following week.

She was grateful for her friend, after thinking long and hard, she told Mina that they were best friends and Mina didn’t take a beat to agree with her. They were and even as they grew up, graduated and found careers of their own, they still stayed with each other up until the present.

She loved Mina and she couldn’t bear to think of anything bad happening to her.

Which was the reason why she couldn’t stop panicking when Mina didn’t come home that fateful day. She checked her inbox nonstop when Mina was an hour late. Once it dawned on her, she immediately called up the police, begging the officer over the phone to help look for her best friend.

An officer arrived at their apartment and Sana let her in immediately, begging on her knees to get the office to send someone to look for Mina. But it frustrated her when the officer just stood there and looked at her, it was like she didn’t care that there was a person who could possibly be missing.

Officer Park simply knelt in front of her and said that everything would be alright and half-heartedly assured her that Mina was going to go home.

When the officer left, she was hopeless, the next thing she did was call Momo and Nayeon. Who were one of Sana’s friends from her first year in college, they became constants as well by the end of their senior year. It was easy for her and Mina to make friends with Momo when they discovered that she too, was from Japan who moved to Korea to finish her nursing course. Because of her, they were able to meet Nayeon as well. The four spent the rest of their college years as a compact group and Sana couldn’t be happier gaining two more friends.

Since Momo and Nayeon were just like them, they were friends from the start of college and decided to move in together after graduating. So it wasn’t difficult for Sana to contact the two of them, explaining the whole story frantically to them and they immediately rushed over to keep her company.

They stayed with her and promised to wait until Mina did come home. And when Mina did, it brought a big wave of happiness in Sana’s heart.

Sana hated being alone. She never wanted to feel lonely again and with Mina around, she never had to feel like that ever again.

But she wondered when will her life with Mina come to an end, what if Mina found a partner and would want to move in with them, would Sana be left behind just like in the beginning?

She was never the type to force people to stay, but thinking about it more, she would either break down her walls and desperately ask Mina to stay or she would have to find peace in her solitude.

“Sensei, can you help me with this sentence again?”

Sana turned around and walked over to her student. “Sure, what do you need?”

She loved being a teacher, even if didn’t pay much for the bills compared to how much Mina was shouldering for their apartment. She felt the pressure of it, but Mina had always assured her from the beginning that she didn’t mind and never failed to cheer Sana on when she would declare she was going to do better.

Her heart would melt when her students would always smile and tell her how grateful they were with Sana’s help. This was enough for her to keep pushing forward. This was her life.

“Thank you, Sensei. See you tomorrow.” The student bowed in front of her and exited their private classroom. Sana couldn’t help but smile at the sight.

She worked at a company that was tied to a travel agency that puts up programs for children, students and adults that want to migrate to Japan. Sana knew that she wanted to be of help, so she decided to become one of the language teachers in this agency. Granted that the pay wasn’t high enough, but the work was enough for Sana to enjoy.

After fixing up the tables, she leaned back on her chair and let out a sigh.

She started thinking about the rent this month, then about what she should buy for dinner that night. Her money was only enough for dinner throughout the week, and she didn’t want to ask Mina to help out again since she already paid for her part of the rent last month.

“Knock knock.” A head popped out from the doorway. “Done with your classes?”

Sana lifted her head from the seat. “Kazuha! Yeah, my last student for the day just left.”

The tall woman opened the door wider and leaned on the doorway, she smiled, and it made Sana’s chest fuzzy.

Sana had always found this woman attractive, the fellow teacher was as flirty as her, but she never had the courage to make a move. It could be her conscience stopping her since they were workmates, or the fact that she was younger than her for a handful of years. That wouldn’t be ethical. It didn't help that Mina didn't like her as well.

“Why do you look so down then?”

“Oh? Do I?” Sana tried to laugh it off. “No, no. I’m just in deep thought I guess.”

“Is this about your rent again?” Kazuha lifted her body from the doorway and started walking towards Sana’s table, sitting down right in front of it. “Well since your last class always ends early, you can totally make time for another job? I used to do that before.”

Sana tilted her head to the side and raised an eyebrow. “Another job? So a part time job?”

“Technically, our job is still considered part time.” The other deadpanned.

She sighed. “You’re right. I can’t seem to get any more classes either. Most of the students that request for me are all scheduled in the morning and my afternoons are usually free.” Sana paused, she was considering Kazuha’s suggestion. But then, where should she start?

Kazuha looked at her, Sana could feel it and it made her ears burn up. Kazuha's eyes were trailing on Sana, and at some point she imagined Kazuha throwing her on this desk and making a mess out of her.

“I have an idea—“ Kazuha suddenly said, fortunately interrupting Sana’s thoughts. “But you’re free to decline. It’s just—my friend said her workplace is hiring at the moment. The pay is really good in all aspects too.”