Fawn

It was another night at the club. Sunny and Miyeon were happy to have Sana back and they constantly reminded her to take things easy in case she felt something again. But the Japanese woman was quick to tell them that she was doing fine. Sana was pretty sure of herself that she wanted to keep working at The Lazy Sleeper and everyone hovering over her just to ask if she was doing better, made her a bit conscious about what happened before. So she had to assure everyone that despite that, she was still able to work properly.

Though, it was inevitable for Sunny to ask Sana what exactly happened and as much as she didn’t want to relive the whole thing, she saw no point in hiding it from the older woman. She deserved to know.

So, Sana had to start from the beginning, from things that happened in college, to her and Mina, admitting she has separation anxiety, the situation with Kazuha and then eventually about Tzuyu.

Sunny, being wise and thoughtful as she was, listened to everything and didn’t interrupt her once. But she did have a few reactions about Kazuha.

“That kid.” Sunny scoffed as she leaned on her table, resting on her elbows. “To be honest, I had a hunch that she liked you. Because when she called me the first time to refer you, she said, in the exact words, ‘I have the prettiest coworker at the learning center who’s perfect for the job.’”

Sana couldn’t help but giggle at that. “It’s honestly a shame, Kazuha’s a really sweet person. But we really are better as friends,” Sana said, looking down at her hands. “Plus, it wouldn’t be fair since I already have feelings for someone else.”

“Tall, brunette from the reds?” Sunny raised her brow and then smiled at her. “You really haven’t heard from her since?”

Sana shook her head, she felt like crying but it seemed she ran out of energy to do so. “I don’t know if I should give up.”

“But do you?”

Sana immediately looked at her. “I don’t know? Maybe I don’t. Maybe I do?”

Sunny opened her palms to let Sana hold them, once she did, Sunny held her hands tight. “Okay, be honest with me Minatozaki, do you or do you not want to fix things with tall girl?”

Sana gripped onto her hands tightly. She had to really think about it. Was she willing to let that go, give up, then live her life with no real closure and have the agonizing pain linger inside her for the rest of her life?

Or will she actually make the extra effort again to clear things out? She was going to get hurt and it will hurt even more than the first time, but in spite of that, at least she wouldn’t have any regrets. This seemed like the only chance she would get. Sana didn’t like the idea of leaving things as they were unless she really did put up a fight.

Then again, she felt like she already did at Nayeon’s apartment. Was she that desperate to try again?

Suddenly, someone was knocking on Sunny’s door, and the older woman quickly stood up to check who it was.

“Maybe I can help?”

The familiar voice made Sana turn her head and was shocked to see Shuhua by the doorway. She stood up from her seat to face her. “S-Shuhua?”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t help but eavesdrop.” The short girl took a deep breath and then closed the door behind her. “I’m partly responsible for whatever happened to you and Tzuyu.” Before Sana could react, she placed a hand out to stop her. “If I tell you that you still have a chance, will you take it?”

Sana blinked; she wasn’t sure how to register everything the blonde just told her, but she managed to clear her throat and looked at the gang member straight into her eyes. “What do you mean?”

Shuhua took a breath. "I think you can still say something that can clear things out and patch things up with Tzuyu." Then she glanced at Sunny. “Chou transferred routes with me. She’s at Vinyl right now and maybe we can call Byulyi to get her in a private room so they can talk or something.”

Sunny thought for a moment and then jutted her lips out. “Sounds like a good idea.” Then she looked at Sana and smirked. “It’s a good idea if you’re willing to take it.”

“I-I’m not sure. Tzuyu seemed to be clear that she wants nothing to do with me,” Sana said softly, looking away from the two women in front of her, the doubt and fear creeping up into her throat again. The more she was thinking about it, the feeling of a second rejection was making her terrified again.

Shuhua couldn’t help but scoff. “Tzuyu is miserable right now. It’s obvious to me that she wants you and she’s just being like this cause she’s a fucking baby.” Then she walked a few steps closer and looked at Sana straight in the eyes. “She’s not good with her emotions, I swear, she’s scared to admit anything. But from what I know so far is that she really cares about you, and I believe she still does. So, if you do care about her, or maybe even have romantic feelings for her, then you really gotta let her know.”

“Blondie is right, babe.” Sunny agreed, also approaching Sana then she took her hand again. “You told me how you felt about her, and I think it’s about time you really pour your heart out. It’s just gonna eat you up even more if you think you can shrug it off again.”

Sana sighed. For a moment, she reminded herself that she already had done a lot of ridiculous things in life, another one wouldn’t really make a difference, would it? So, she held onto Sunny’s hand and nodded at the two women. “Okay. I’ll give it a try.” But then she furrowed her brows and looked at Shuhua. “How are we going to do this?”

“Byulyi, the owner, and I are drinking buddies. Even if Vinyl is our direct competitor, we know how to keep things civil once we're in a non-professional environment and I know that son of a bitch is willing to pull a few strings for me,” Sunny said as she let go of Sana’s hand to go over to her table and pick up her phone. “We just need to get Chou in a private room and then we sweep in. Easy as that.”

“Oh. Okay.” Sana gulped. She wasn’t sure what she got herself into, but if it was a chance to see Tzuyu again, then she was definitely going to take it.

Sunny wasn't kidding when she said that the owner of the club was willing to pull some strings for her. The call didn't even last five minutes, and Sunny was happy to tell her that her friend was willing to help out and was going to get Tzuyu’s attention, keep her in a private room to be preoccupied while Sana made her way there. Shuhua waited for Sana by the entrance as she changed out of her outfit. Maybe it would be best if Sana would do this as her normal self, and not in a corset or a night gown. Plus, Sunny did warn her that the owner was a charmer, so it was best if Sana did wear something that was less revealing.

The drive had to be quick since they were reporting to Shuhua that Tzuyu had been rejecting the dancers that were sent to the private room. They had to move fast if they wanted the lieutenant to still stay inside for their plan to work. But Sana couldn’t help but feel a soft tug in her heart knowing that Tzuyu didn’t want to entertain other dancers. Maybe that was giving her a little hope. Being delusional enough to think that Tzuyu didn't want anyone else but her.

Once they arrived, Shuhua quickly guided her to the back of the club, and they were greeted by this tall, attractive woman in a custom pinstriped suit. She introduced herself as the owner and if Sana didn’t have Tzuyu in her heart, she would have totally been swooned by this person. Sunny really was right but good thing she was briefed about it and steeled herself.

Byulyi wasted no time and led them to the hall where their private rooms were. Of course, Byulyi didn’t want to pass up the opportunity to charm Sana on their way inside. But Shuhua and Sana were quick to deflect any of the manager’s flirting, they didn’t want Tzuyu to get even more upset than she already was.

“Okay, I’m going to get Tzuyu. I’ll knock three times, so you know it’s me, okay?” Shuhua quickly instructed Sana before she left.

The brunette simply nodded and decided to take a seat while waiting.

It felt weird being in a different club. It was even weirder for her that she was in a private room, was only in an ordinary shirt and pants and not the usual outfits that Sunny picked out for her. The feeling was even more intense because when she would be waiting for Tzuyu, she would always feel scared or terribly nervous. But at the moment, she knew she was completely terrified.

Since there were two ways this whole situation would go; either Tzuyu acted the same way as before, storm out and Sana would never see her again, making her decide to ultimately forget about Tzuyu and continue to aid her broken heart.

Or Tzuyu listened. Deciding to stay to hear out Sana and then they could finally hold each other again. The way Sana wanted. Maybe if she was even brave enough, she would ask Tzuyu to stay.

“Yeh, I’m sick and tired of this, I don’t want another dancer!” Tzuyu’s voice boomed from outside of the door. “Motherfucker, stop pushing!”

“Tzuyu, for the love of God, just shut the fuck up for once!” Then Sana heard the three knocks and the door opened. Shuhua pushed Tzuyu inside and then kept the door close to her face. “This is for your own good.” Then she slammed it shut.

“W-wha—“

“Hi,” Sana said immediately, standing up from the chair. It had been maybe almost two months since she last saw Tzuyu at Nayeon’s apartment. And now it was November, the weather was colder, and Sana could only wish that Tzuyu was taking care of herself.

But from the looks of it, Tzuyu looked like she hadn't slept in days and that made Sana’s heart twist.

“I finally know why you said all of that to me.” She started quickly. Watching Tzuyu carefully and immediately put her hands out in case the gang member wanted to interrupt her. “You don’t have to respond or answer me, just me out, okay?”

Tzuyu nodded and that made Sana relieved that she did.

So, she took another deep breath and looked at Tzuyu straight in her eyes. God how she missed those eyes.

“I used to like Kazuha, she's the woman you saw me with. Shuhua told me she was responsible for telling you but she didn’t give me a chance to ask why.” Then she looked away. “Mina hated the idea of Kazuha because she’s like six or seven years younger than me and she hates her attitude. We’ve gone out a couple of times but as friends.” She made sure to emphasize the last word. “She asked me out on an actual date and yes, we kissed but after we did, I realized that I stopped liking her for a while and I made sure to tell her that.”

Sana looked at the ground and at her sneakers, unknowingly scratching a part of her arm that didn’t feel itchy. “I don’t know why, but when I think about kissing or being touched, or even cuddling; I can only imagine myself doing it with you.” She scoffed.

“It’s crazy, I know. I don’t know how you see me now or if your feelings are still the same. You’re hard to read, Tzuyu. But I can’t stop thinking about you.” Tears were suddenly falling from her eyes, but she still carefully took a step forward to Tzuyu, gently grabbed her hand and placed it on her chest, right where her heart was. “You make my heart beat fast; I crave for your company, your touch, to hear your voice and that's because I also have feelings for you.”

Tzuyu’s cheeks were turning red, and she looked down at Sana, her hand still gently pressed onto Sana's beating chest. “You do?”

“Yes, I do.” Sana wiped her tears away with her sleeve and looked at Tzuyu again, holding onto her hand tightly. “I don’t know what the future holds for us. I’m scared that one day, I’ll see your face in the news and I won’t be able to see you again.”

Then she let go of Tzuyu’s hand when she couldn't control her breathing and paced around, trying to calm herself down. She stopped and smiled weakly at Tzuyu. “I have really bad separation anxiety. I knew I had it after I was abandoned by my first roommate back in college. Which is why Mina has stayed with me for so long." She tried to shake away the unwanted anxiety creeping into her system and rubbed the back of her neck with her hand, seeking comfort from the friction. "When you started showing up, I craved for you. I get anxious when you don’t visit or when you arrive an hour late. Which is why I confronted you about it that day. Cause I was so scared that you left me for good.”