"Rather Be" | Jeongyeon x Male Reader

An unexpected and saddening news was released right during the month of October which was TWICE’s 5th anniversary since their debut and the hype as well for the release of their upcoming 2nd full album titled ‘Eyes Wide Open’. It is said on the link that was posted by the agency itself JYP Entertainment that Jeongyeon, one of the members of the said group is suffering both from a severe anxiety attack and a herniated disc injury on her neck. This requires her to be on hiatus for an indefinite period of time, resulting for her to be pulled from the promotions of their album including their live celebration of their anniversary on YouTube.

The conditions were mutually agreed both from JYPE and TWICE, especially to Jeongyeon who is the most affected here. After the announcement was posted, it spreaded through the K-Media articles as well as globally for all of the ONCEs to see. The fans were disheartened from the idea of how Jeongyeon is suffering right now and disappointed of the unfortunate timing it occurred. Without any choice, the fans had to express their thoughtful and caring messages for Jeongyeon’s speedy recovery while others combined it with criticizing the agency for another mistreatment of their idols.

Jeongyeon saw everything in the social media.. Despite the heartwarming messages being sent to her by ONCEs, the quivering feeling inside of her cannot be shaken away of what her current unstable state has been caused. Remembering what the doctor have said to her that the primary thing for her to do on beginning her recovery is to keep her distance away from the public and take some time-off she needed for herself.

The burden of stress and guilt taking an effect of her led to Jeongyeon deciding that she wants to retreat back on her hometown of Suwon. She informed her sister Seungyeon about this and immediately accepted. However, she mentioned that she’ll be only taking her there and won’t be much in around as she is in a middle of filming a new series, but she promised that she’ll visit from time to time as long as she can monitor how she’s been doing.

Touched by her sister’s love for her, she is determined now to depart temporarily from attracting an attention to the flashing cameras, public’s eyes, and the relentless pressure of the industry putting her on.

===OOO===

It’s a 30 minute drive from Seoul to Suwon. Before packing her belongings and drive away with Seungyeon and her recently bought car, she said goodbye to the girls and thanking the staffs including JYP himself for allowing her to take a break, in which it was done with pure intention as they believe everybody deserves to be and nobody should sacrifice their lives for exhaustion. She saw the signage that says she’s near now to her destination, Jeongyeon couldn’t help but to atleast crack a smile for a little, as she couldn’t hide her excitement to relive the nostalgia she had on that place.

Now arriving to the province, Seungyeon parked the car to the familiar placed standing still and looking just as great as the last time they left here to pursue the best of their careers. They unloaded her things and approached the house where they were greeted by Yoo’s longtime helper Mrs. Song. She was stunned to see two women who were once little to her eyes, now a fully grown up and looking prettier than ever.
“Hi, Mrs. Song.”

“Oh my Jeongyeon and Seungyeon-ah, it’s been a long time since you two went here!” Mrs. Song went to hug them both in which they giggled in response. “Look at you two looking like a grown-up women now, it has been a while isn’t it? Last time we’ve been together, I had to babysit you two and keep your playfulness in control.”

All of them laughed at that memory. “We missed you too, Mrs. Song. We apologize if it only had come to this where we have to go back here. It’s busy out there in the city and… it’s an urgent matter.”

Mrs. Song nodded, as she understood what Seungyeon is referring, which was their phone call last night. “I get it, and I can’t demand selfishly.” Her expression shifted into a softer one, turning her attention to Jeongyeon who is looking exactly as what she’s expected.

“What did they do to you there, hmm? I heard what happened to you, Jeongyeon-ah. Have you’ve been tiring yourself too much on your work?” She held Jeongyeon’s hands which began to tremble. Meeting her eyes, she was shocked and devastated to see her the younger Yoo cry in her grasp.

“Aigoo, they’ve been too harsh on you.” Mrs. Song quickly hugged Jeongyeon into comfort. Seungyeon witnessing this scene tugs her heart and at the same time feeling sorry for her sister. “Don’t worry, I will take care of you here, okay? Enjoy your stay here, forget all of those you left behind for a while. This is about you that you have to be focused on first and they can’t stop you for it. Okay?”

Jeongyeon nodded and answered in a muffled sobbing tone. “Yes, ahjussi.” z

“Ssshhh, save your tears, my Jeongie. Let’s take it here inside and continue. Here, let me help you two grab your things to your rooms.” Mrs. Song said as she rubbed Jeongyeon’s back before letting go and went through the luggages.

===OOO===

After an hour of reliving the old memories and catching up the lost times with their beloved helper, Seungyeon regrettably informed her that she has to go now for her schedule. Mrs. Song wished her goodbye and a safe trip back in Seoul while repeating what she advised to her in relation to Jeongyeon’s situation. Seungyeon keep it in mind and hugged Mrs. Song in gratitude.

Jeongyeon stepped near at the car and watched her sister enter. Rolling down the window, she peeked at her vulnerable younger sister and aims to set some reminders. “Call me anytime if you need me, okay? Keep me updated on how you’re doing, you know I’ll always be concerned of you, especially mom and dad. Got it?”

“Alright.” Jeongyeon nodded.

“Have to go now, bye and love you!”
“Love you too, noona.” Jeongyeon waved her hand and slightly smiled for her sister as she watched the car start to move and disappear through the distance. Mrs. Song smiled at the interaction of the two from the balcony before calling Jeongyeon. “Jeongyeon-ah, let’s go. I could take some help on the kitchen for our lunch.”

“Okay, Mrs. Song!” Jeongyeon responded after rotating her body to face her. She entered the house and locked the gate.

===OOO===

The next day, Jeongyeon began to list down the things she wanted to do, motivated to heal and put herself back together again. Now convinced and contented on her procedure of self-therapy she arranged, she didn’t waste any more time to check them off the list.
She started by reconnecting with some old friends in which they welcomed them back with open arms and offered assistance to her especially after what they have learned of her current struggles that brought her back to Suwon.

Jeongyeon appreciated it and gladly granted them. She also went to revisit some of the places she has been since she was a child and other places where it was added during the length of time they departed to Seoul. She made sure to capture everything and add it to her gallery to compile once she feel like reminiscing again and see the progress of her hiatus.

She was also joined by Mrs. Song on exploring some new activities to discover and probably consider it to be added on her new hobbies. She was taught on how to paint to canvas, forming a clay pot, baking a cake, gardening and others that will surely gain her peace and relaxation that she craves to have.

The past 5 days has been awesome for Jeongyeon. Despite the conflict both on her mental and emotional well-being, she is constantly attempting to fight through all these now that she is encouraged to do so with the continuous addition of everything and everything she loves back into her life.

Which now then leads to this one particular moment when she was walking through the seashore in barefoot, wanting to feel the sand along with the splashes of the water and the breeze of cold air hitting her skin, her hair and dress flowing freely through the direction of the wind. Jeongyeon was so focused on viewing the emerging sunset from the sky when she was distracted by an accidental bump to someone.

Her body flinched and got alerted at the impact that they both took. Believing that it’s her fault for being too oblivious and clumsy, she checked on the guy who abruptly fixed his camera and wiped it lenses. She noticed that it was a photographer she had just collided with.

“I’m really really sorry, mister. I didn’t saw where I was heading towards at, I was looking at the sunset.” She apologized deeply to the guy who is bowing in front of her, still on aiding his camera.

“No problem, just try to be careful next time.” The guy said.

“But… how about your camera? Is it okay? I can pay for it if-”

“No, you don’t need to. It didn’t had any cracks or whatsoever.” He began to straighten his posture after wiping the lenses with his shirt.

“I’m really sorry again-”

As their eyes met, both Jeongyeon and the guy couldn’t believe what faces they were seeing so closely. Both were in denial, but as further close inspections and such, they have confirmed each that it’s really who they think they actually are.

“J-jeongyeon?!”

“Y-YN, right?”

They’ve been greeted themselves by another familiar person that they’ve gotten closer with during their time here in Suwon. Jeongyeon and YN are staring at their former high school classmate. However, for YN only; it means more than just that which the latter doesn’t know at all.

“W-what are you doing here? When you have been in here?” YN asked Jeongyeon, highly confused.

“I’ve been here for 5 days now.” Jeongyeon answered.

“I thought you are now in Seoul, like you know… being an idol. Are you for work as well?”

“No, I’m not currently active in work right now.” Jeongyeon. “Actually, I just returned here to have a vacation, you know…. Take some time off.”

“Ahh… well if that so, well uhh hi. Welcome back and… long time no see isn’t it?”

“Yeah… how long it has been?”

“8 years I guess, or maybe more than that.”

“That’s pretty damn long indeed.” They both chuckled. “Wow uhh, really I really didn’t expect that you’ll visit here again, seriously.”

“Me as well, but I realize that I did needed this to you know…  take a break through everything.”

“Why? Is something wrong going out there? Are they not doing well for you?”

Jeongyeon remained silent and frowned. YN received the imaginary answer and an idea formed in his mind to create a necessary action to it. Meeting again this woman that made an immense effect to him since back to when they were younger, he don’t want the time to be ruined because of the ongoing suffering she must’ve been containing within herself, simply because of looking back at the numerous times that Jeongyeon made his days complete.

Determined to help her, he spoke cautiously at her. “Would you want someone to talk with and listen to whatever that’s bothering in your mind? Deep talks about life and some stuffs.  I’m available.”

Jeongyeon looks at him and agreed to his invitation. “You sure it’ll be fine to you?”

“Absolutely, why not? Especially when people needs to have a company to share things they haven’t been able to release. And it seems to be you right now sooo… as a friend, I’m willing to be the one by your side for that. Also, I’m just capturing the shore anyways so I’m not bothered.”

“O-okay.”

“Where do you want us to talk? I suggest for us to remain here, Would it be perfect to do it in  a perfect scenery like this?”

“Yeah, this would do.”

Jeongyeon and YN sat together in the sand, facing the waters and surrounded by the sound of nature that is effectively providing Jeongyeon the peace she has been searching for.
YN lets Jeongyeon initiate to begin their conversation, starting off with detailing how is her life doing rn in Seoul and what happened in the middle of her successful career of being an idol that made her end up in the place where it all began for her.

“So… what brought you here in Suwon? Are you longing for your memories you’ve made here, chasing for solace, or… other than that?”

“I’m here to rebuild myself on my own. I mean, I have my personal therapist to aid me but… I want atleast contribute something on the process of healing by myself. To feel that I can somehow… help myself in my own ways and value what I have become for the better.”

“Therapist?”

“I’ve been taking treatments, both physically and psychologically. Well, because of what happened to me. I got an anxiety disorder right when we’re on the road to preparing for our comeback and our group’s anniversary as well.” Jeongyeon’s voice starts to shake, holding her impending emotions.

“Oh god, I’m sorry about that Jeong.” YN became speechless as he watches Jeongyeon making her fragile self in notice in front of him. He couldn’t imagine that she has to reach this stage of her life where she grew to risk her emotional health in shambles to the point that not just a single simplest comfort would be enough for her to recover.

“Tell me more about it. Why did you ended up being very anxious and just everything that stirs up inside of you? Were you being pressured in your work?”

“Guess you can say so.” Jeongyeon tilted her head, now hugging her knees as she stares at the sea in deep thoughts. “I’ve always regarded myself as the least popular member of TWICE and I get that. It makes me believe that I just don’t do something that interest the fans to like me as much as the rest. Maybe I’m just not that talented or possess a likeable personality unlike my co-members. A boring person, if that’s how I can put it.”

“But I admit, just because I believe that I am like that doesn’t mean I just want to be that way and have no any plans to change who I should be. It hurts me still, deep inside I want to prove that i’m not who they think I am, that I know I can still improve and show them that I’m just as the same level and feel like I deserve to be in TWICE.”

“So I began to work my ass as much as I could. Every day I would spend my entire day just singing and dancing our choreo for More and More -it’s a song we released this year- in our company. I was so eager to cure this sickness of me always forgetting the choreo and try to find the spots where I think I lack at until… I didn’t think of the consequences anymore. All I wanted is to give what I got that this industry requires me to be.”

“Then what happened?”

“One day, while I was dancing together with the members, I felt a stinging pain on the back of my neck after we did like a move that requires our head to spin. Since we do numerous takes, we have to do it again and again. I was just so tired at that moment and when I felt that I just neverminded it for a while, but when I got to rest for minutes… and it proceeded to worsen starting on the next morning after I woke up.”

“At that moment I just know this will be bad, so I kept it within myself as to not make my members and the staffs worry too much that may disrupt our preparation for the comeback. Thankfully it didn’t, but it started to distract me a lot when we also have to rehearse too for our virtual concert with ONCEs. My neck hurts a lot whenever I move, to the point that I was crying it out when I got to be alone, for no one else to see.”

“Until one day, it couldn’t be helped, I was accidentally caught by our eldest member and my bestfriend Nayeon holding my neck. She scolded me when i revealed to her that i’m in so much pain and I’m keeping this to anybody for the sake of our project. Then, she advised me to report it to our company’s medical partners and… it was shown that I have a neck injury called herniated disc. It’s simply a dislocated disc on the weakened part connected to my spine.”

“After that, my worries and fears increased about the possibilities of what this may cause my group’s activities and to what I worked hard for. You know, I always have this weird sense that I… can call it if there’s gonna be a trouble.”

“And… it came true?”

Jeongyeon nodded, her tears now began to flow in her face. “I was diagnosed with anxiety attack as well when they did checkups on me. They have decided to put me into hiatus in which they had to receive my approval first for consent. As much as I don’t want to, seeing the members suffer more because of how stubborn I am made me surrender for good. I told them okay, and they did the announcement, and yeah, it sucks that i didn’t had to last long for me to promote our new album and join them on the celebration. I was supposed to be there with them today but… it’s just too much for me to handle.” she sobbed harder.

“And now I’m here in Suwon to step away from being the center of attention because of condition, I don’t want to distract them too much from our album’s promotion. I listened to what my doctor said, because I couldn’t contain this feeling of of disappointment I just gave to myself and the fans who were still there to support me. I always let them down, YN. I’m trying so hard to forget them, distracting myself or taking my meds but I rather just end up costing me with insomnias at night or have a panic attack. I’m just scared at the thought that maybe I should not perform again due to how insufferable and failure I’ve become.”

Jeongyeon continues to pour our her exhaustion and pain from going through all of these challenges she had to encounter in the peak of her career. Her sobs became louder and her body shivers both from the cold temperature and the amount of crying she’s having.

Meanwhile, YN sinks everything that Jeongyeon shared and it ached him imagining how much she sacrificed before her body gave up on her. He just watch Jeongyeon become emotional in pity which immiedately making an impact to him as well. Not only because of her hardships or her being a friend that had to be in that scenario… but especially with the fact that this is woman she loves that he had to learn she was struggling in her life despite being successful.

And he wasn’t there for him to guide and support her in all of these.

Snapping back onto reality, he founds himself to be sitting inches close beside to Jeongyeon. He may have not been able to do what he wanted but now that he has the opportunity placed for him at this time, at this very moment, he knows there’s only way to make things right. He’ll be one to pick her up when she’s down.

Jeongyeon felt warmth around her body. Opening her eyes, she saw YN embracing him to the side, trying to ease her emotions. She appreciated the gesture and she actually like how gentle and safe it makes her feel.

“I know what you feel, Jeongyeon. Afraid that everything you’ve poured a lot of effort and strategies just to ensure that you’ll reach expectations and requirements just so you won’t lose the purpose of what you have. I know because I’ve been there, but the opposite is that I relate because I actually lose what I wanted to have unlike you who already grabbed it.”

YN proceeds to share his own story that might motivate Jeongyeon. “You know I always dreamt of becoming a songwriter right? Back when we were in high school you’ve seen me tried to compose or write my own songs and some went well. I just didn’t have like enough equipments to give it more life, only the guitar that my dad has given to me would do the bare minimum.”

“Well… unfortunately that dream had to die, after all I’ve done just to prepare myself to enter college with Fine Arts in Music or offer somebody to get my song. Nobody liked it, and coincidentally I happen to look for more money when my father became sick with diabetes. We didn’t had enough money to give him continuous treatment and medicines. I did try to perform everywhere, I do receiving some but still not enough. Then it made me understand it all too well that this may not for me when my mother happens to be granted by my aunt in States a business to build.”

“You see that cafe that was closed there? That’s ours by the way.” YN said, pointing at the particular spot.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I made it official and clear that I have to give up my dreams through the pressure and desperation to make ourselves stable in life and to treat my dad. Fortunately, he’s been keeping up really well these days. Me and my mom are still working hard to run the cafe. So yeah, what I can only say about your side is that don’t let your dream end just because you don’t satisfy and fulfill what the people wants from you. We are bound to make mistakes and we can’t always satisfy ungratefulness. I mean, there’s always a time, just trust the process without any rush. 

And why give up when you’re at the stage of your career where you have it all? It depresses me already to give up something I want to achieve, what’s more for you?  Just because of them? Jeongyeon, those people aren’t your fans if that’s the case. You’ve spent all those years giving everything to the world. If you feel anxious that you agreed to take the hiatus, well damn them because you deserved it.

It’s completely okay to give something back to yourself, and if you’ve been giving everything to the world that you weren’t been able to do that, and they still don’t like you for it, then they don’t deserve you. Jeongyeon, the real fans who loves you don’t just wait for you to come back as an idol. They wait for you to comeback as the best version of yourself.”

Jeongyeon couldn’t help but to shed some tears again because of your uplifting words you have in store for her. Your whisper and mellow tone of speaking it close to her ears is make her feel light around your arms.

“Your anxiety manifested because of overthinking yourself to enhance your image as a member of TWICE. But… your worth shouldn’t be measure just by how you should perfectly perform on stage. You’re already enough just by being you. I know you want to improve, but don’t let it be driven by criticisms and insecurities.

Jeongyeon, you don’t have to prove anything to anyone. You don’t owe the world often a fantastic performance. We are bound to have our limits, and I suggest that you do what you do because you love it not because people out there expect you to be.”

That concluded YN’s advice for her. Jeongyeon assured that she’ll apply it within herself because she didn’t want to make your well-spoken thoughtfulness be wasted for nothing. She is so overwhelmed that she’s to one you’ve expressing that amount of care you can develop and protect for the people that you’re close with.

Only if she knows the wider aspect of that which urged you to do what has to be done.

“Thank you, YN. I am pleased, so much with your kindness.” Jeongyeon mumbled into your shoulder, her soft voice hitting your heart. “It made me miss you a lot.”

“I-I missed you too, Jeongyeon. That’s why.” YN almost went stuttering as he blushes intensely at Jeongyeon’s confirming her longing for your presence.

Both of them went silent as they enjoy the night with them unbothered that they’re still within each other’s embrace, in their minds motivated to do the right thing that benefits each of them.

===OOO===

Beng a man of his words, YN’s proposal to guide Jeongyeon on rebuilding her confidence and get her back on the right track began the next day. Mrs. Song who learned about the encounter Jeongyeon had to his former classmate and friend and surprised her with the most important and reliable advice she needed right now was happy to see that it made Jeongyeon to look on the positive side. That’s why when she excused herself again to her parents to meet him at the designated place, they didn’t hesitate to do so, for the sake of her happiness.

Jeongyeon went to YN’s cafe and they began chatting, this time about random stuffs about their lives that happened during those years when they separate ways. YN discovered that Jeongyeon is currently learning how to brew different types of coffee, an idea popped in his mind after realizing the perfect timing. He offered Jeongyeon an additional tutorial with him and even a part-time job for her to pass some free time on, in which Jeongyeon who was first shy and shocked at the offer, accepted it afterwards.

Week after week as Jeongyeon’s bond with YN lasts through the journey of her reigniting the joy of reality becoming an idol without the pressure, their friendship deepens into something more. Jeongyeon showcasing her talent and him allowing to play the guitar for her after a long time of quitting suddenly reminds him of why he loved music. He was helping Jeongyeon to become a tough idol to handle the public in reception to her performance, yet it also created a strong effect in his soul to carry that creative passion that he once had for music.

That one night, as YN and Jeongyeon rode a bicycle together after closing the cafe, they were sharing laughters and remarks through their random conversation. As they suddenly brought up those times when they were in high school together, something inside YN made him bravely admitted something that he’s been keeping for very long. Maybe it’s due to the fact he’s trying to sweep aside that Jeongyeon is scheduled to return in 2 days back to Seoul to meet her therapist regularly.
“Jeongyeon, can I be honest with you? I… I just thought nobody has even mentioned this to you from one of the people you’ve met during your pre-debut days. Or probably there is but they haven’t got the chance to say it, so I’ll do them the favor.”

“Hmm? Which is what?”

“I already knew you’ll be a very famous idol someday.” YN said with a smile. “In fact, I hoped and prayed for this and it happened. I’m even glad that I appeared out of nowhere around of you to see that it did, and… I’m just so happy for you, really.”

“Come on YN why are you being like this?” Jeongyeon whined playfully. “I’m about to sleep when I reach home, I don’t want to burn my eyes with tears again.”

“Sorry, I just… wanted to release it, you know. I’m taking all the chances tonight and definitely tomorrow before you uh… leave. Again..” His chuckle slowly died in the end.

“But thank you for that. You were right, I mean there’s others who have told me that they called it of me becoming a member of TWICE, but that was when they started to root for me since SIXTEEN era. But you… you were the first to do so, and it’s special to me because out of everybody, you were the one from outside my career who truly supported me.” Jeongyeon smiled brightly as the moon displayed above her. “Please do so, what I’m working hard for, it’s also because of you now.”

YN’s chest tightened in joy hearing such sweet dedication from her. “I-I never stopped, that’s why I’m doing this for you too.”

“Good, and also I wish you can the same thing for your dream of being a songwriter, YN. Don’t you have anymore desire to do so? I’m not forcing you but there’s still time to-”

“Actually about that…” YN paused for a moment as well him paddling the bike. Jeongyeon was perplexed on why you suddenly stopped, her concern of the possibility that she made you mad grew.

“I-is everything o-okay, YN?”

“Y-yeah, it’s just…” YN huffed some air before facing Jeongyeon, preparing himself for something. “Uhm there’s last thing that I want to get off my chest, after many years of keeping this a secret to myself.”

“I-I’ll be listening. You can talk it to me, YN.”

YN took another breather and continued. “Okay. So you do remember that I wrote songs before right? I couldn’t help it, even when we’re at school I always find some time to draft it all.”

“Yeah, you’re a full built musician since then, YN. I was just saddened that you decided to give it up. You have so much potential, if I recall correctly i’ve read one of the lyrics and it was so well-written.”
“Yeah, and I said that those words all came from my heart. Do you still remember that?”

“I am.” She nodded.

“Jeongyeon… out of everything I’ve spent my time doing songs, that piece was my proudest work of mine.” You smiled genuinely. “How remarkable was it to made me keep it to myself after all these years whenever I go, just for instances that I have to be ready when I wanted to perform.”

“That song was always the one I play the last, saving for the best you know?” 

“I bet the people would applaud you and leave them with their ears blessed and smiles across their face.”

“They are. I have no doubts about it. And I’m glad they love it just much as I am making it for you.”

Jeongyeon became silent. Her eyes fixed at YN, she was stunned at the last words you’ve mentioned. Her lips shuddered, prompting to speak in the midst of bewilderment.

“YN… that was for me?”

YN pulls out his phone and tugs off its case. At the back, there was a folded paper with ink marks behind it, a hint that has filled with handwriting. You unraveled it, and Jeongyeon saw the familiar outline she complimented years before.

“I actually don’t know why I haven’t removed it now that my dream is done. When you left, I began to lose the motivation, it was like a part of it disappeared with you. Then the family stuff followed, I just… ran out of the passion I needed. But now I realized why I still singing it everywhere for years, keeping it with me, giving this crumped sheet of paper a purpose… because there was always a reason why.”

“That’s you, Jeongyeon. I may have given up my dream but the love that I used to create my own masterpiece, it never went away.”

Jeongyeon’s eyes became watery at your confession. She was oblivious for a long time that while she was wondering if anybody would found her dearly, there was always this one guy who remained faithful and loyal for him. Despite through the unfortunate circumstances and challenge he had to surpass, the value of the love he developed because of her was used not only to continue living his life, but to keep his most cherished talent alive as well.

YN endured that for more than a decade, only for Jeongyeon.

“I believed in you, I supported you, I did it all just to know how you’ve been doing. Then I heard the news that you were hurt.”

“You don’t know how much I wanted to visit you, but I know it won’t be that easy knowing about the industry you are in. That’s why all I did instead is to pray for you to get better, and hope for miracle atleast, that we’ll see each other again.”

“We did.” Jeongyeon smiled through her tears. YN nodded and bowed his head in guilt, he didn’t want to make her emotional again but he sweared that this will be the last.

Jeongyeon came out of her bike and stepped forward closer to YN. She lifted her chin to see his bittersweet face. His mood went upside down when he suddenly felt her body wrapped around his.

“Don’t be sad about whatever it is, YN. I want you to know that after everything you told me, I became happier and grateful that I got to have you through my difficult process of healing.” Jeongyeon started to sob harder in his shoulder. She felt his large yet tender touch gliding on her back.

“I’d be willing to do it always if it’s you.” he replied.

“Thank you for holding my hand and reminding me that I’m stronger than I refuse to be.”

Jeongyeon leans away from the hug and stares at him, this time not only with impression but with adoration. The urge complied her to push her head forward and lay a kiss on his cheek, startling him. She smiled sweetly and grinned. “Now that we’re exposing our secrets here, I’ve also started to convince myself that not only you’re good hearted person but… you’re actually good looking too.”

“W-what…”

“I like you too, YN.” Jeongyeon stated, making his mouth open in amazement. “I know its not as much as you’re expecting me to say but-”

“No, I don’t care. Having you is already enough.” YN nodded and shrugged it off. “I know we can’t rush things, so take every time you got.

B-but Jeongyeon, are you sure you want to be with someone like me?”

Jeongyeon furrowed her brows as it clicked to her the negative thoughts you were trying to imply. “What? That you’re not as successful like me? That I’m an idol and you’re just a stranger?”

“Yeah, exactly.”

“You said it yourself, I don’t care. As long as we learn how to keep supporting each other  without losing ourselves in the process, we’ll be fine. I know it’s a shot in the dark, but I’ll take it. Will you?”

Jeongyeon’s assurance instantly erased all of YN’s mindset of inadequacy and insecurities.

“ You gave me a chance, Jeongyeon. Why won’t I do the same?”

And they both laughed at their mutual arrangement.

===OOO===

Jeongyeon has finally returned to Seoul. As per the schedule, she met her therapist and examined her through narrating whatever she did during her time off. From revisiting her hometown, staying in her childhood house, meeting loved ones, especially reconnecting with YN.

The therapist took all of that in a positive note. Due to this, she made an evaluation that this is an advantage to make her recovery faster and smoother. She learnt other coping mechanisms—meditation, journaling, and understanding her triggers.

She made a promise to remain in contact with YN despite being distant again from each other. Jeongyeon can notice how YN’s sweet talking at her is greatly increasing her love for this man. However, it wouldn’t be the same as having his presence being around her, that’s why it causes her discomfort everyday not seeing him physically when she’s alone in her place.

Months later, Jeongyeon made her surprise appearance at the 2021 Seoul Music Awards to join her fellow members of TWICE to receive their awards. It became the headline of numerous articles and became trending all over social media. Not only did the fans and the K-Pop community acknowledged the return of the idol, but also to her new appearance.

She was touched at all the welcome backs she received, but she also can’t dodge the toxic comments about her new look from toxic bodyshamers who most of them just simply hate TWICE and had the opportunity to find something to bash her on.

Her return resulted to a mixed emotions for her, but she tried to be composed. She just turned her attention more on being with her group, with her family, her therapist, and YN.

Returning to vocal and dance training after months of rest feels harder than she imagined.
Her stamina isn't what it used to be, and self-doubt creeps in. She tried to mask it in during their promotions for Alcohol-Free, until a clip from her fancam was leaked spotting her wincing in pain whenever she dances that requires head movement made her wondering if she’s still not truly back as what it seems to be.

A candid moment with YN reminds her that her artistry is about authenticity, not perfection. She tried to live up to it, but the desperation ran wild inside of her to the point that she’s starting to forget it again. It then went blank when she requested at their choreographer to teach her for almost an entire day just to execute the choreo of Perfect World well.

Her struggle triggered her anxiety and panic disorder again, causing her to take another hiatus in August 2021. She couldn’t take it anymore, she then requested for her manager and driver to pick up YN from Suwon. As he finally arrived to her location, her longing for his company activated, hugging him tightly and tears burst out of her tired eyes.

“You’ll get through it, Jeongyeon. I won’t go away, I’ll be here for you.”

“You better be. I thought I could manage to stand up for myself.” She muttered. “But I got lost again.”

“It’ll be okay. I’ll make sure you will be prepared as much as you need to be. Learn to disregard the unnecessary, Jeongyeon. What matters is what holds importance to you.”

===OOO===

Through YN’s stronger guidance, Jeongyeon became steady at her pace again. Her appearances on their 1st English Single “The Feels” made a lot of positive reception both for her and the company, stating that it’s impressive and respectful on both side agreeing for the sake of making the vibe of their comeback “complete” without causing any harm, especially to Jeongyeon’s current state.

The girls including the staffs met YN and learned about their relationship, in which they both shared their decision to keep their relationship private. The were still grateful for their support and wished them to stay strong together. Luckily, after almost a year of recovery, Jeongyeon was then cleared by her therapist to return full-time as an idol starting with the title track of their 3rd Full Album, “Scientist”, in which YN attended on every music shows and fanmeets to support Jeongyeon for the first time.

More comeback eras have passed, Jeongyeon remained on doing well as she took things slow and focused on a healthier schedule that was granted to him by her company after standing up for herself, a demand that she’ll do everything on her own terms now with their group projects as well as her doing solo. She had photoshoots, a cover, and even hosting her first YouTube series.

Last year, Jeongyeon made a comeback of writing a song called “Bloom” for their mini-album “With YOU-th”, which was inspired by her experiences with YN when they reunited at Suwon. She felt proud and overwhelmed at the highly positive reactions from ONCEs, with others claiming it as their personal best track in the album.

While scrolling on her tablet, she came across of a post by a ONCE featuring a beauty appreciation of her. She saw the comments of the said post, and again the inevitable, she came across some negative comments about her weight gain. She was about to be sad hen she heard the bathroom door open, revealing YN in a freshly new bath. She blushed at the sight of your manly figure but her heart moved in euphoria when she was flashed by his smile.

“You busy?”

She looked back again at the screen of her device, but unspokably, her eyes went towards the comments of her fans defending her. A smirk crept up on her lips before shutting off her tablet.

“Nope. Why?”

“I just wanted to talk to you, I didn’t want to disturb you onto something.”

“How thoughtful of you.” She rolled her eyes and laughed. YN joined her on the bed, sitting on the edge as she faced her.

“I wanted to say thank you. For bringing me here to Seoul for a new beginning, the help you gave to my mom on our cafe, and… what we have right now.” he holds her hand and cuddled it on his cheek.

“I made a promise, I might as well fulfill it, especially because it’s for you.” Jeongyeon said. “Take it as a return for everything you did for me… and also, I can’t let us be apart again.” She locked his hand stacked against hers.

“I’m never going anywhere this time. There’s no place I would rather be if I’m not with you, Jeongyeon. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

After they shared a passionate kiss and another quick one on her forehead, YN excused himself to buy dinner while Jeongyeon reopened her gadget, switching back onto the Notes app she was typing at before she took a short break while scrolling through X. She reviewed again his part and her unfinished part on the song you and her will both collaborate to write for the first time, as well as now both being a songwriter and an artist for JYPE respectively.

===END===