Gawon - Happiest Birthday

“Do you believe in love at first sight?” She asked me.

“Yes,  since I saw you,” I answered her, straightforwardly.

That’s the truth. I don’t believe it, but when I saw her, it must be true. Cupid’s arrow stabbed me in my chest, penetrating my icy cold heart, and punched a hole in it. My heart beats fast after it, like it’s complaining, as if it’s telling me to fill that missing hole with her love. In an instant, she became a piece of my heart puzzle, a piece to complete me.

It started from a simple greeting, then to a casual talk, next on a usual walk, and finally, a date with her. We’re a perfect match. Everything she likes, I love it. Everything I like, she loves it. Now, I have another question in mind: do soulmates really exist? I bet it is, since I’m pretty sure I met mine.

It’s her, Gawon.

“I love you.” She had this habit, she kept saying she loves me.

“I love you too.” I happily respond all the time.

I remember when I used to surprise her on her birthdays, from our high school couple era and on, being college lovebirds. I surprise her every year, as if it’s not a surprise anymore. But I noticed something special kept happening every 4 years.

On her 18th birthday, 

“Wow! It’s been a long time!” She happily dragged my arm on every ride.

“You like it? We ditched the class, though.” I laughed, thinking about how our parents and teachers reacted once they knew about it.

“It’s fine! It’s more fun when I’m with you.” She’s enjoying it, and watching her makes me enjoy it the same way she does. My heart screamed with joy; I know her heart does too.

“Happy birthday, Gawon, I love you,” I told her.

We walked and had fun under the bright sunny day.

I hope it lasts forever.

On her 22nd birthday, 

“H-hey! What are you doing here?” She was surprised when she saw me at her university. We already had plans that night, but I came unannounced that morning.

“Let’s go, let’s have a ride!” I dragged her off the campus. We rode a bus all the way to the theme park on her 18th birthday.

“Sorry, I couldn’t make time for you when you wanted to meet and… for throwing tantrums over small things.” I used this time to formally apologize for refusing her when she wanted to meet.

“I understand, college life isn’t easy. I… I’m sorry too, for missing the time when you’re free and for matching your tantrums with mine.” She said, gripping my hand. We can sense the sincerity from both of us.

We argue most of the time and longer than we used to; it goes on and on until we argue casually, like we’re used to it, like we don’t care anymore about it.

“Happy birthday, Gawon.”

We arrived at the theme park in the afternoon, at sunset.

I hope this will be the last time we’ll argue about little things.

On her 26th birthday,

“We’re here.” I smiled through the exhaustion after work. But having Gawon near me, it’s refreshing.

“Yeah… It’s not that crowded anymore. Did they change something in here?” Gawon looked around at the theme park I used to bring her to on her birthdays.

“Unfortunately, the park will close this year. I can see why there are fewer people here than there used to be.” I felt sadness, the park’s a witness to our love, our struggles, and our arrangement, basically, it witnessed how we grew together.

“So…” I hesitated.

“Uhhh… let’s go.” She hesitated.

We’re both exhausted and burnt out from our work. It’s tiring, but we kept making time for each other. However, it wasn’t the same as it used to be.

Should I ask how her day is? Or she’s so tired that I should just let her rest. She didn’t even ask me about it.

Should I ask what she eats at lunch? How’s her sleep? Is she doing okay? Should we go for a date? Is everything alright?

None of us asked for it.

“I love you.” Her habit didn’t change.

“I love you too,” I responded like I used to.

But, I feel like its essence was gone. We started having doubts.

Do we still love each other?

It was already night when we arrived.

I am still hoping.

On her 30th birthday, 

“Wowwww~ it looks great!” The kid beside me said.