One Shot

Pretty Rude

Complete

dandlndanApr 24, 2026

this is a cringe crack fluff fic involving Carmen and a delivery driver.

Alternative music for Filos to get that whole filo twitter au vibe:

+969 328 2006

March 5 9:25 A.M.

Good morning! Please prepare to receive your parcel. ETA: 5 minutes. Thank you!

9:25 A.M.

Where are you? I’ve been standing outside for 10 minutes now.

9:40 A.M.

+969 328 2006

OMG I AM SO SORRYY

I JWU

ARE YOU STILL THERE

11:00 A.M

What do you mean “Are you still there?” It’s been over an hour.

11:00 A.M

+969 328 2006

WHERE’S MY PARCEL THEN?

and don’t you like

need to document your deliveries or smth

11:01 A.M.

Have you looked outside?

11:01 A.M.

+969 328 2006

ARE YOU BEING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?

WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY PACKAGE

11:05 A.M.

I just threw it over the gate lol not my fault you weren’t responding

11:05 A.M.

+969 328 2006

YOU WHAT????

so let me get this straight

since I wasn’t RESPONDING because I was SLEEPING

you thought it was a GREAT IDEA to just YEET MY PACKAGE??

11:07 A.M.

Over the gate, yes.

11:07 A.M.

+969 328 2006

DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF RN???

I am absolutely reporting this to your company.

11:07 A.M.

Go ahead lol

Read

+969 328 2006

March 10 11:20 A.M.

Good morning! Please prepare to receive your parcel. ETA: 10 minutes. Thank you!

11:20 A.M.

+969 328 2006

Oh god it’s you again

Can you PLEASE deliver it NORMALLY this time

You have no other excuses

I am WIDE AWAKE

11:20 A.M.

Alright then chill I’m omw

11:20 A.M.

March 10 11:37 A.M.

Damn

11:37 A.M.

+969 328 2006

???

what are you contacting me for?

did you forget smth here?

11:37 A.M.

yes

my heart

11:37 A.M.

+969 328 2006

BRUH

ARE U DEADASS RN???

you literally dropped my package RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME

11:38 A.M.

okay that was unintentional

how could i not though? i think i just saw a goddess right in front of me

This may contain: the mascot is dressed in red and white

11:38 A.M.

+969 328 2006

first you’re pissing me off and now you’re trying to rizz me up???

I’m surprised you haven’t been fired yet

you need to up your rizz game up, UNC

11:40 A.M.

UNC?

we’re like the same age WDYM

and like, you were being so rude earlier

11:40 A.M.

+969 328 2006

HOW COULD I NOT BE???

THIS IS THE SECOND TIME THAT YOU’VE RUINED MY PACKAGE

UGH i don’t have the TIME for this

go piss another customer off or smth

11:45 A.M.

it’s you who i want to annoy

11:45 A.M.

Pretty (Rude)

March 12 11:11 A.M.

Be completely honest with me

Are you ordering all of these packages just so you could see me?

I mean if you wanted to you could just say so

11:11 A.M.

Pretty (Rude)

EXCUSE ME???

The audacity of this man

If i could only switch who delivers these I WOULD

11:13 A.M.

Aren’t you being a bit too harsh?

I’ll let it slide because it’s you

I’ll be there in 5 mins btw

11:13 A.M.

Pretty (Rude)

can you PLEASE not ruin it this time?

11:15 A.M.

no promises ;>

Read

Pretty (Rude)

March 14 9:18 A.M.

Good morning! Please prepare to receive your parcel. ETA: 10 minutes. Thank you!

Pretty (Rude)

Pretty (Rude) unsent a message.

Jiwoo, do you think pink hair suits me or not?

OMG

I DID NOT

MEANT

SEND

THAT

TO YOU

DID YOU SEE ANYTHING???

9:18 A.M.

I most certainly did not

9:18 A.M.

Pretty (Rude)

UGHHHH YOU’RE SO ANNOYING

DELETE THAT

9:19 A.M.

Again, no promises

Read

Pretty (Rude)

March 15 8:28 A.M.

Pretty (Rude)

You saw NOTHING. Okay??

8:28 A.M.

Saw what? I definitely didn’t see how you were jogging around the park only for you to see me, get startled, run away as fast you can, bump into a man and quite literally took his wig off (the sun was reflecting on his bald head btw), accidentally yeet a child’s lemonade stand while running back, and as a protective measure hid behind me so i took that man’s and the child’s parents’ scolding. Yeah i definitely saw nothing.

8:28 A.M.

Pretty (Rude)

UGH you’re SO ANNOYING as ALWAYS

8:30 A.M.

and YOU’RE soooo RUDE

not even a thank you for taking their scolding for you?

8:30 A.M.

Pretty (Rude)

EXCUSE ME?

this wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t at the park anyways

by my undeniable and completely correct logic, it’s your fault.

8:32 A.M.

Read

Inter(stella)r

March 15 8:35 A.M.

GURL

YOU KNOW WHAT HE SAID TO ME?

8:35 A.M.

Inter(stella)r

WHAT

wait, who again?

8:37 A.M.

THE DELIVERY GUY THAT KEEPS BOTHERING ME

8:37 A.M.

Inter(stella)r

okay you can continue this unnecessary bit that the author made just to fit me saying my part in the song

8:38 A.M.

what? author?

ANYWAYS

HE WAS LIKE, “YOU’RE SOOOO RUDE”

8:38 A.M.

Inter(stella)r

GURL

THE AUDACITY???

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

8:39 A.M.

8:39 A.M.

Inter(stella)r

GIRL

YOU SHOULD’VE SAID SOMETHING LIKE

“DOES IT LOOK I COULD CARE?”

“I COULDN’T EVEN CARE LESS”

8:40 A.M.

omg

you’re so right

WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT

8:40 A.M.

Inter(stella)r

I’m always right, right oomf?

8:43 A.M.

who are you talking to rn

8:43 A.M.

Inter(stella)r

don’t mind it, they’ve probably already left an in-line comment by now.

8:45 A.M.

you’re acting so weird rn

Read

Pretty (Rude)

March 19 8:18 A.M.

GLOBE: Congrats! You’re the one selected for the postpaid Plan given P150 discount billing, to get your P150 discount billing, just text 150 then send to this number. Thank You Globe Postpaid Subscriber!

8:18 A.M.

Pretty (Rude)

Did you really think i was gonna fall for this?

8:19 A.M.

Wdym? This is definitely GLOBE and not your local handsome delivery driver

8:19 A.M.

Pretty (Rude)

That’s a crazy self report btw

I literally have your number saved.

8:21 A.M.

OMG REALLY

WHAT’S MY NAME THERE

“LOML”? “HANDSOME”?

8:21 A.M.

Pretty (Rude)

It’s just “Delivery”

8:25 A.M.

Read

Pretty (Rude)

March 21 12:51 P.M.

Good morning! Please prepare to receive your parcel. ETA: 10 minutes. Thank you!

12:51 P.M.

Hi, where are you? Your package is here

1:00 P.M.

Your sister got it for you

Said you weren’t feeling well

Hope you feel better soon!

1:07 P.M.

Pretty (Rude)

thanks

1:07 P.M.

Pretty (Rude)

March 22 1:43 P.M.

Good morning! Please prepare to receive your parcel. ETA: 10 minutes. Thank you!

1:43 P.M.

Pretty (Rude)

What?

Nothing’s supposed to come in until next week though?

Are you sure it’s mine?

1:53 P.M.

Yeah it sounds about right, package says it’s for you

I’m outside btw

1:53 P.M.

Pretty (Rude)

TYSM

You didn’t have to do that though

And how did you know I liked pizza?

How much was it? I’ll pay you back

1:58 P.M.

I asked your sister what you liked

There’s some medicine in the paper bag as well

Also, technically you can’t really pay it back

Cause I made it

1:58 P.M.

Pretty (Rude)

didn’t expect you to be the type who knows how to bake a pizza

1:59 P.M.

Who said anything about baking?

1:59 P.M.

Pretty (Rude)

I am honestly not surprised anymore.

1:59 P.M.

Good, means you’re getting used to having me around

1:59 P.M.

Pretty (Rude)

shut up

2:00 P.M.

Pretty (Rude)

March 29 9:30 A.M.

Pretty (Rude)

You didn’t deliver the package this time?

9:30 A.M.

Had to do something important so i had another rider take over the delivery

Why, do you miss me already?

I know I’m a handsome dude but please have some self-respect and stop fawning over me

Stop it

I said stop

Omg stop it~

9:32 A.M.

Pretty (Rude)

The audacity of this man never fails to amaze me

Me??? missing you???

You are genuinely crazy

9:32 A.M.

Read

Pretty (Rude)

March 31 4:45 P.M.

Pretty (Rude)

Who’s that girl you were with earlier?

Is she the important thing you were talking about earlier?

Is that why you haven’t been delivering packages lately?

4:45 P.M.

Woah

Calm down princess

Are you jealous?

4:45 P.M.

Pretty (Rude)

PFFT ME??? JEALOUS??

NEVER

IT’S NOT EVEN IN MY VOCABULARY

I WAS JUST

CURIOUS

YUP

THAT’S ALL IT IS

4:46 P.M.

You’re cute when you’re jealous

4:46 P.M.

Pretty (Rude)

I AM NOT JEALPUS

JEALOUS*

4:46 P.M.

That girl was my sister, Girlie

She just came back from the US to visit our family

So you can stop being jealous now, okay?

Here’s a picture of her, said she wants to meet you

4:48 P.M.

Pretty (Rude)

she seems nice

you two look alike

gtg

bye

4:50 P.M.

Pretty (Rude)

April 1 7:30 A.M.

Good morning! Please prepare to receive your parcel. ETA: Now. Thank you!

7:30 A.M

Pretty (Rude)

Huh

I haven’t ordered anything yet though?

And wdym by now?

Is this some kind of April Fools joke?

7:35 A.M.

I’m outside, just wanna talk

And no this is not an April Fools joke

7:35 A.M.

Pretty (Rude)

Can’t we just do it here?

7:35 A.M.

Are you really gonna make me confess over text?

7:35 A.M.

Pretty (Rude)

Huh? Confess? Why? What did you do? Did you get in trouble? Did you yeet another person’s package?

7:36 A.M.

Woah chill Ms. Yapper Yappington

Just come outside, please?

7:36 A.M.

Pretty (Rude)

This doesn’t look like you

7:38 A.M.

No, I’m in the front gate not the back gate.

7:38 A.M.

Pretty (Rude)

okay ykw you’re making me nervous, just say what you have to say here.

7:40 A.M.

Look, I didn’t really want to confess my feelings to you this way, and I think I’ve made myself pretty clear with how I always flirt with you, but I like you, a lot. I find myself looking forward to making deliveries at your house every time I see a package registered to your address. I find myself looking for you in the midst of the crowds at the park, hoping to just get a glimpse of you. I know it might seem a bit stalker-ish or out of the blue especially with the way we bicker every time, but I really like having you around, and I want to get to know you more, more than just these small interactions. I know it might be hard to take me seriously since I joke around all the time, but I promise I’m serious, about you, about this, about us. So would you please just come down here so I can say all of these in person?

7:45 A.M.

Pretty (Rude)

Wait for me there.

7:45 A.M.

End (?)

Epilogue (LMAO just a lil drabble)

my yap machine <3

April 2 9:30 A.M.

my yap machine <3

We should probably just do our dates indoors so we don’t spend much money

9:30 A.M.

Good morning to you too

Don’t worry, I’ll pay for all our dates

9:30 A.M.

my yap machine <3

SPLIT

50/50

idk how much you earn doing deliveries so at least save some money for yourself

9:32 A.M.

I don’t get paid from doing deliveries btw

9:32 A.M.

my yap machine <3

HUH

THEN WHY ARE YOU STILL DOING THEM

9:33 A.M.

My dad owns this logistics company lol

9:33 A.M.

my yap machine <3

WHAT

IS THAT WHY YOU WEREN’T FIRED

9:33 A.M.

Yeah lmao

I was only supposed to help out when we were understaffed

But I kept doing deliveries only when it’s for your address

9:33 A.M.

my yap machine <3

You should go back to joking around

You’re so sweet when you’re serious like this and my heart can’t take it

9:35 A.M.

You like me better when I’m being a goofball?

9:35 A.M.

my yap machine <3

I like you either way, idiot.

9:35 A.M.

END.

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