Water drips down slowly from the roof, a blood red hue filling the room as darkness slowly swallows it whole. The water moves slowly, trickling down the jagged edges of the shattered mirror, fragmenting what small amounts of light make it in. No matter how smashed it is, the same mirror remains steadfast in its place, and as the roar of the busy evening street overwhelms me, there’s still a part of me that hopes you’ll slam open the door, asking me if we can go out today.
***
Desolate clouds started overcasting the musky sky, stealing away the light of day. Chills filled the air as the sharp shadows of street lamps faded into the sidewalk, the bitter wind announcing its untimely arrival as small drops of rain began to fall.
“Come on Yujin,” you teased, bouncing on your heels and shivering. “It won’t even matter if you run fast enough. We’ll be back in time for dinner anyway. What, are you scared that I’ll win again?”
She cursed under her breath but agreed anyway, the same, reluctant way she always did.
Delighted at the chance to extend your lead, you ran to the crossing, waiting steadily at the lights as the growing roar of cars devoured any sounds you might otherwise have heard, Yujin slowly catching up to you from behind.
“Ready, set… Go!”
The friendly embrace of the wind around your arms was comforting as you gave yourself to the momentum, each swing leading you forwards and distorting your vision as you made your way across the street. Unfazed, you pushed forwards, each stretch of your legs an organic motion, hardly affected by the strong winds that threatened to sweep you off your feet. You laughed in satisfaction as your body brushed past the old flower shop, its pleasant aroma an assurance of your inevitable victory. Slowing your pace, what was initially a light chill now began to numb you, your ears a rosy glow as your body shivered in victory.
Cold and all too eager to return home, you turned around, gleefully scanning the street to find Yujin and gloat. Surely she should be nearing the shop now, right?
Yet a sharp unease bloomed within you, your hands shaking at the pattering of the rain and your inability to see Yujin altogether. And as the screeching of tires invaded your ears, your fears began to manifest.
***
The violet shade of day faded away, the sun sinking lower in the sky to give way to the velvety regret of night. Conquered by the dim evening light, you stood at attention behind the glass partition, envious of those who walked past you at ease, their rhythmic steps unchanging even as they faded away. You began to shiver, wobbly waves of despair threatening to overrun your existence.
“What were you thinking? You should’ve just come home with her.”
Every year when the autumn leaves twirled down, dancing in the gusty winds, you would bring a small wooden bird and hand it to the nurses, unable to summon the courage to place it next to your sister yourself. Not long ago, such a short walk was of little significance to you, yet your despair now controlled you. You were at its mercy, hollowed out and denying all other feelings with such force that it left your heart shattered, a numbness that cursed your own immaturity in your head.
The street on the way home used to be a haven, yet its evening howls now only served as a reminder of your guilt. Walking back, the rebukes of your father echoed deep within, carved into not just your fragile identity, but your very soul.
Nothing about the street and its roars, nothing about your home had changed. Yet as you arrived back home, slumping in front of the mirror, everything was different. The dripping water. The fractured reflection. The silence where her voice should have been.
Yujin was gone. And every piece of the world insisted on reminding you why.
1 like from defmaybe.