look at me

The sun looked at her.

Chaeyoung squinted as rays were cast on her skin. She skittled through the sand, escaping back towards the lifeguard tower to seek abode.

She hated the sun.

Not because it was hot — she could tolerate heat. It was what the sun did to her skin.

Ultraviolet rays were relentless. UVA accelerated wrinkles, dark spots and aging. UVB left painful burns and if exposed long enough? Early death through cancer.

There was only so much sunscreen lotion could do, and whilst she had countless tubes of exaggeratedly high SPF lotions tucked in the side basket mounted on her lifeguard tower seat, nothing was more effective than a good old parasol that provided absolute defensive shade from skin damage.

“Stupid punks,” Chaeyoung grumbled, looping the ropes around the hook on her chair’s legs as she hung the lifebuoy back into place. “Fucking jebaiting and tricking me that they were drowning.”

She kept muttering to herself as she climbed back up, sitting back into her barely comfortable throne before she casted her eyes over the beach.

“I hope a jellyfish stings your balls.”

She slid her sunglasses back over her eyes and she unscrewed her flask, letting ice-cold water wash away the dryness in her throat. Mobile phone out, she relaunched her music player and resumed vibing to summer songs. It was the only thing keeping her sane under the sweltering heat of the summer sun, and boy did she hate being a lifeguard.

“False alarm. I repeat. False alarm,” Chaeyoung spoke into the walkie talkie.

Beep.

“Roger that. Continue to keep a look out.”

Chaeyoung pressed the button and replied, “Copy.”

She sighed and fastened the device back to her life vest, leaning back onto the chair. She lifted and swung her leg over the other, crossing it deliberately as she tried to cover her panties from ogling men and drooling women alike.

Why can't they mind their own business and stop looking at me? she thought, dabbing sweat off her forehead with a handkerchief that was already soaked with her sweat from an hour ago. Heat buzzed around her like unrelenting waves of discomfort, each one squeezing out unceasing drops of saline stickiness from the pores of her skin.

But that wasn't what irked her.

Yes, Chaeyoung knew she was a gorgeous lady and gazes would naturally gravitate towards her. However, what she hated was that people looked at her because of her beauty.

Among other things.

Her snow white skin under the blazing sun was definitely considered the eighth Wonder of the World, along with her slender and sexy body and legs that were classified as the ninth. She was the definition of the beach’s Sex Aphrodite who saved lives with her looks.

And to make her point known again, she really hated being a lifeguard to her core. She had so much hatred for it that she had stuck with this job for eight years just to see if the job would piss her enough to force her to quit.

But she was the better woman. She would never let such a minute thing get the better of her. She was the gracious and stronger one who toughened through all the stares of admiration, lust, glamour, lechery, adoration, and concupiscence.

She would not leave.

Definitely because of the free lodging and the high pay the job provided. She was a slut for money too after all, much like everybody in the world.

She raised her hand and pressed it forward, looking at the sun through her shades. She measured the distance between the glowing ball and the horizon of the sea, estimating how many more hours it would take before she would be liberated from this gaze hell.

Four more hours till sunset.

She hoped that the night shift bastard would come and take over her soon, as much as she despised him. A disgusting lecher who always slurped his tongue as he looked up at her, trying his best to peer through her underwear whenever she climbed down the lifeguard chair.

But she had no one to blame but herself. It was what she had chosen, despite being touted as one of the beach’s goddesses.

She knew how parents dragged their kids out of her surveillance zone. She knew how men undressed her with their eyes. She knew how women fantasised about one night stands with her.

Everybody looked at her, but nobody saw her.

It was her fault after all.

Was it wrong to embrace sexuality?
Was it wrong to love oneself?
Or was it a crime to want those things on her own terms?

Why couldn't the world look at her like how she looked at herself?

beep.

She looked at her phone.

Unknown Number

online

When are you coming back for the week, chaeng chaeng?

tomorrow

That's great, I’ll see you tomorrow then.

Remember, I’m always rooting for you.

stop lying

Do you want to save this number ? X

Liar.

She pocketed her phone.

In any case, Chaeyoung dozed off and left the surveillance to her other lifeguard colleagues fifty metres to either side of her.

You stood to the side, looking at her with puzzled eyes.

The set up was ready.

Three, two, one… and start.

“Hi everyone, chaengrang here~”