“Hi guys-”
Minjeong did not even have the time to finish her sentence when she felt hands shoving on her shoulders, shaking them violently in the process.
“Minjeong! You have some serious explaining to do!” almost hurled Yizhuo in her ears. The girl was visibly fuming.
However, Minjeong couldn’t help but to whine from the pain. “Ugh tone it down please..”
“Tone it down?!” scoffed Yizhuo. “I would if I didn’t just learn that my best friend of literal YEARS is actually a guitar genius??”
To top off this mess, Aeri decided to join in. “You should have told us from the beginning that you played guitar as well!”
Things were way too messy already, and Jimin helplessly tried to appease the situation. “Guys I think we-” But abruptly got cut by Minjeong who bowed ninety degrees in front of Yizhuo and Aeri.
“I’m so sorry for keeping this from you two. I swear I will explain but please just give me some time.” Minjeong was practically begging at this point.
When she accepted Jimin’s offer, she did not think about the consequences at all. Call it the intensity of the moment, or just her deepest desires finally allowing themselves to be let out, but the usually rational Minjeong had probably taken the most impulsive decision of her life, and didn’t think further.
When she asked Jimin if she could join her band, she had not thought of her mother’s harsh gaze for a second. But she also hadn’t thought about Yizhuo’s reactions to the whole ordeal.
And as expected, she was completely shocked. Minjeong knows a discussion between them is way overdue, but she doesn’t want to involve Jimin and Aeri in this mess.
So that’s why she selfishly asked for some time.
And gladly Yizhuo, who deep down knows her friend from the back of her hand, probably understood what Minjeong was trying to avoid, and decided to drop it. For the moment.
“Alright but we’ll have a talk at home.” Minjeong could only weakly nod in response, and hope that the two others won’t attempt to ask more about it.
Sensing the palpable tension in the air, Aeri suddenly clapped her hands in an attempt to distract the others.
“Now that we’re a full functioning band, I have a request!” And this successfully caught everyone’s attention, because they all turned towards Aeri, sending her a curious look.
“The university is holding a cultural festival in about a month. Do you guys want to play there?”
Playing at a festival right away? This definitely sounded like a tough challenge, but a very interesting one. Minjeong thinks that it would be the perfect occasion to display their sound, and the practices prior to it will be very good opportunities to match their melodies.
At first, she was scared to play with other people. But Jimin showed her how fun it actually is. Although she still doesn’t know if Jimin’s sound and hers really perfectly matched, or if it’s just how playing with someone else feels in general.
And there was also the problem with her stage fright.
In fact, playing in front of people was still totally frightening for Minjeong. She really did not lie to Jimin the first time she asked her to join the band! But she has a feeling that with those girls, she’ll be okay.
“Of course!” both shouted Yizhuo and Jimin, while Minjeong merely nodded.
Aeri seemed to remember something though. “Oh, but don’t you have stage fright Minjeong?”
The sudden attention startled Minjeong a bit. She could feel Yizhuo’s hard gaze on her, while Jimin just looked at her with her usual worried eyes.
“Well…” sheepishly started the young woman. “I feel like I’ll be okay with you guys. I wanna play too.”
Jimin’s face lit up brightly. “That’s the spirit!” She cheered.
Aeri’s face finally seemed to be relaxing as well. “Phew, I’m glad you didn’t bail out at the last second!” And Minjeong could only awkwardly laugh at that.
Aeri clapped her hands again. “Well then, shall we start?”
Yizhuo and Jimin both cheered, while Minjeong quickly made her way to her guitar case to retrieve her instrument. She carefully wrapped its strap around her shoulder, and made her way towards the rest of the girls.
“Um… how should we stand?” asked Jimin, awkwardly standing right in front of Yizhuo’s drums.
“Minjeong, you can sing right?” Jimin turned towards the younger girl, who nodded. “Maybe you should stand at the very front then.”
Minjeong immediately waved her hand, and dismissed the idea. “No!” She shouted a bit too loudly, and immediately felt the tip of her ears burning. Way to make a good impression Minjeong…
She awkwardly cleared her throat, not noticing the teasing grin painted on Jimin’s face. “I think Aeri should be in the front actually, she was the first guitarist here after all.”
Aeri tried to answer. “Uh well I don’t really mind-” But Minjeong was quick to shoot her down.
“Really just go, you deserve it!”
Realizing that fighting against Minjeong was no use, Aeri made her way to the center, trying to ignore Yizhuo’s loud snickers in the back.
As the drummer of the group, she obviously doesn’t need to care about her placement after all. And in all of her Yizhuo’s glory, she couldn’t help but to make fun of the awkward situation between the three others. Screw you Ning Yizhuo!
In the end, Aeri stood in front, with Jimin on her right and Minjeong on her left.
“Everybody's ready?”
Yizhuo did not even wait for an answer, and started hitting her drumsticks together, announcing the start of the jam session and setting the tempo.
They didn’t even settle on a song beforehand, and just decided to go with the flow and all improvise.
Improvising when you never played together is never a good idea. Their sounds are not used to the others at all, so it technically should result in a confusing mess.
But of course, things didn’t go as planned.
When they started to play together, it was like their sounds immediately connected. As if they were bound to eventually meet, and form this indescribable symphony.
However, their harmony still let each of their individualities shine. Yizhuo’s drums were as energetic as ever, while Minjeong’s guitar was more on the smooth side. Jimin’s bass was a mix of sharp and precise movements, while Aeri’s guitar felt very carefree.
Obviously though, it was far from perfect. Even if their sound felt in perfect sync, it was undeniable that things were still way too messy to be considered “good music”. Yizhuo’s tempo was too quick for Jimin to catch, and Aeri and Minjeong’s guitars were overlapping each other too much, instead of supporting each other.
But in a way, it was a beautiful mess. And Minjeong loved every second of it.
Who knew that music could feel so free? Maybe she did belong there with those three girls after all. Happily playing and all pursuing their unconditional love for music.
***
Minjeong arrived home around the same time as the sun finally set. The practice had gone very well, and she didn’t particularly have anything left to do. But the sole thought of finding herself alone with Yizhuo scared her to no end. So Minjeong decided to stay behind to get some work done ahead of time at the library after the four had parted ways.
Judging from her reaction back in the club room, Minjeong knows that Yizhuo is not particularly mad. She was just a tad shocked and honestly, it was completely fair. But she definitely knows that the Chinese girl will ask for some much needed explanations as soon as they’ll be alone, and Minjeong isn’t sure if she really wants to dive into all of her music-linked trauma yet.
But sometimes, life just doesn’t give you the choice. And Minjeong is done running away.
Yizhuo is her best friend, and she deserves the utmost respect from Minjeong. And respecting her will start with providing her the truth, like Minjeong should have done since the very beginning.
It was no time to regret her mistakes of the past though. The perfect occasion to come clean to her best friend awaited right behind the front door of their shared apartment. The only thing left to do was to just push the door open.
Minjeong’s hand ghosted over the door knob, but never actually touched it. She tried to take deep breaths and calm herself, but her heart was beating erratically.
Suddenly, she felt her phone buzzing in her pocket, and almost let out a scream out of surprise. Terrible timing, phone!
She grabbed it and turned the screen on, revealing a message from Jimin. It was just a singular “💪”. Sometimes, Minjeong wonders if the older girl isn’t an esper, because her timing was way too good for it to just be a coincidence.
Nonetheless, even through something as mundane as an emoji, Jimin worked her magic on Minjeong because receiving this quirky form of encouragement helped easing up her nerves greatly.
And after one last deep breath, Minjeong finally pushed the door open, revealing, as expected, Yizhuo lounging on the couch.
When she heard the door open, the Chinese girl turned her head towards it and met Minjeong’s gaze. “Took you long enough.”
Ouch. Yizhuo’s tone was icy, but her eyes revealed a deep form of worry for Minjeong despite everything.
“I’m sorry, I just had to compose myself,” muttered Minjeong, deciding to just go for the truth. Adding more lies would do even more damage, and she doesn’t really have anything to lose anymore.
“Let’s just sit,” commanded Yizhuo, her voice void of any of her usual cheerfulness. Minjeong couldn’t really blame her though. The situation was a tricky one, and Yizhuo rightfully wanted answers, which Minjeong will obviously provide. It’s the least she can do.
And so Minjeong made her way towards the couch, and sat next to her friend. Not as close as usual though.
The air felt tense between them, and Minjeong knows that she needs to be the one to bring up the issue.
She took a deep breath, and just went for it.
“First of all, I’m so sorry for hiding this from you. I just…” Minjeong had to stop to compose herself for a bit. She was about to spill everything to Yizhuo and, while her heart ached for it, her brain was helplessly trying to refrain her from doing so.
But screw her brain. It was doing her more bad than good lately.
Minjeong looked at Yizhuo, tears already forming in her eyes. She could feel her friend’s gaze worrying immediately, but decided to hold it in.
She needed to do this.
“I’ve always loved music.” She finally started. “But my mom… she always hated it, because of my grandpa. When I was eight, he gifted me a guitar that my mom immediately took away.”
Minjeong could feel warm tears already rolling down her cheeks, but she tried to hold strong.
“And every time I mentioned music or wanting to pursue it, she always gave me this… disgusted and disappointed look.”
Just thinking about her mother’s cold gaze was enough to send chills down Minjeong’s spine. She loves her mom, she really does. But she always switches up whenever music is brought up, and this version of her mother always frightened her.
“All of my life, I had to enjoy my one and only passion in secret, in fear of my mom finding out and taking it away from me again. I just…”
This is where Minjeong broke down. It was her first time really saying it out loud, and it felt awful.
But at the same time, she had never felt this relieved before.
Yizhuo did not even let her finish her sentence, and immediately engulfed Minjeong in the tightest hug she had ever received before.
And that’s when Minjeong completely broke into tears.
She had never cried this hard before, and it hurt. It hurt so much. Her eyes were burning, her throat had never been so dry and her heart was breaking.
But finally getting those feelings out of her chest felt the best.
Minjeong had never felt so bad yet so good before in her life.
Finally, she had been able to be truthful with Yizhuo. Finally, someone knew about her situation and maybe Yizhuo will judge her or even hate her, but Minjeong did it. And Minjeong also has faith and a blind trust in her best friend to not abandon her like that.
“I’m so sorry Minjeong…” cried Yizhuo who held her even tighter. “I’m here for you.”
This single sentence was everything Minjeong had ever needed to hear. To just know that she wasn’t alone in this.
Joining this band was the biggest risk she ever took. But at the same time, it’s the first time in her life that she feels completely free. And knowing that Yizhuo knows lifted something off her chest.
Minjeong doesn’t exactly know how long she stayed there, crying in Yizhuo’s arms. But eventually, she freed herself from her friend’s embrace, and they just stared at each other. And weirdly enough, they were smiling.
“We’re pretty pathetic aren’t we?” laughed Yizhuo who reverted back to her usual self.
Minjeong could only snort in return. “We sure are.”
“I’m glad we could talk it out, thanks Minjeong, really.” It’s not often that Yizhuo sounds this genuine, with the lack of her usual lightness, but gosh it feels so grounding.
If anyone had told Minjeong before that Yizhuo would be the one to ground her, she would have laughed in their face.
But here she is now. And she wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
“By the way…” started Yizhuo, suddenly smirking. “What do you think about Jimin?”
Minjeong jumped a bit at the mention of the older girl’s name. For her defense, she just wasn’t expecting it!
“Nothing much, why are you asking?” She decided to go for the safest option. After all, she wasn’t ready to say out loud that she might enjoy spending time with the woman a bit more than she should.
Yizhuo, who seemed to just know, sent her a coy and teasing smile. “Hmm, no reason at all. I was just wondering if she had anything to do with all of your sudden changes, that’s all!”
Gosh, Yizhuo’s fake innocent tone is so insufferable! How could Minjeong think that she wouldn’t trade her for anything in the world? She’s ready to sell Yizhuo right at this second!
(She knows that she’s definitely overreacting. She would never do this even if her friend is annoying sometimes. She still cherishes her, Minjeong is not a monster!)
Minjeong was not ready to have this conversation at all though. Tonight had been too emotional, so she did not want to dive into why meeting Jimin helped her in more ways than she wanted to imagine!
“I’m going to bed!” Minjeong almost jumped out of the couch, and dashed towards her bedroom, not even letting Yizhuo the time to process.
“Hey Kim Minjeong, we’re not done!” shouted her best friend from behind the door.
Sorry Yizhuo, but not tonight!
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