The Tenth Letter From Her

June 24, 1995

Dear Nayeon,

Jimin sounds like a sweetheart. I wish I could meet her. I’m sure we would have a fun time together. I babysat back in the day, but it was mostly because I also had an aunt that was always busy and she needed me to watch over her kids, which are my cousins. Now my cousins are the ones babysitting, it’s such a weird and yet amusing cycle.

I actually have a baby cousin too; she turned 2 years old during the new year. But she’s more reserved compared to Jimin. My aunt would tell us stories that whenever a guest comes over to their house, Minjeong would be really quiet and wouldn’t utter a word. But if it’s just them, she would sing at the top of her lungs, run around with her dad and older brother. It’s cute. I wonder if she and Jimin would meet? That would be really cute.

Glad that I can be a first for you. I do like the color white. Maybe I like it because of how neutral it is. Could be ominous, could be calming, it can depend on my mood, I guess? Maybe because it’s very adaptable to anything. That’s a beautiful line though. Seeing the beauty in simplicity. I remember my mother would say the same, but then she would be talking about the small flowers she has in our garden. I suppose that should still be the same, right? I think I admire you even more for even thinking about it. Are you perhaps a poet? Or someone who drabbles in such pretty writing? And If you wish to make it a thing, then I won’t stop you. It could be our thing.

I have one calendar in my living room, one in the bedroom. I have a journal that I take with me every day. Then there’s the calendar in my office, the one on my desk. I think there’s one in my kitchen as well, I might have to look for it. Don’t cellular phones have that feature too? A calendar? I wonder if I’ll be able to mark the date on that too. I have still yet to figure out how to use my cellphone.

And don’t worry, I will never forget your birthday. It’s going to be ingrained in my brain. And I have a gift in mind, but I won’t talk more about it so it wouldn’t ruin the surprise.

Thank you. I feel shy after reading that. But I really appreciate that you believe that I’d be an excellent partner. I don’t think I’ve ever liked anyone that way before. The idea of being like that towards someone I just met doesn’t really appeal to me. I’m not sure how to describe it. But there have been people that have approached me and have flirted with me, but I don’t think I’ve actually enjoyed that feeling because I don’t know them. Does that make sense? My best friend wonders why it’s like that. Because for her it’s different, or for everyone else it is.

I don’t see it as a problem, however. I would rather trust my feelings with someone that I really know and have a deep connection with. If love happens in the process, then I guess I’m lucky? But who knows, I have yet to find someone that would really make my heart skip a few beats. You know?

Also I don’t think you’re promiscuous. My best friend used to be like that back then. Especially during college. There was always a new person every morning. Then she met Mina, and she stopped seeing other people. I don’t think I’d judge you for whatever you did before. I also won’t judge you for whatever happened between you and your boyfriend. I guess that’s what love does to you, right? You give your everything because they made you feel everything. And I wished I had the answers to your questions, but one thing is for sure (and it could be me being biased) but he doesn’t deserve you. If he thinks he can do that to you and get away with it then he doesn’t deserve to have good things in life.

But I won’t ask you to move on, because I’m aware how difficult that could be. So take your time to feel whatever you need to feel.

That’s really nice of you. I’m sure Bruce is now living a happy life because you gave him a second chance in life. Does your friend still visit him? What kind of dog is he? I wish I could get a dog, but I’m kinda scared of them. When I was a kid, my aunt’s dog chased me up the tree and I had no idea why he did that. So I’m kinda on the fence with them. I’m willing to give it a try though. Also, that’s nice that your best friend brings her dog, at least Bruce wouldn’t feel so lonely.

How is he though? You said he was sick? I hope he’ll be okay. He seems like a strong old man.

Funny how my letter is now four pages, there’s so much to tell you.

But yeah, Tzuyu was a friend we had back in school. Her, Chaeyoung (my best friend) and I were classmates in high school, and we’ve been friends since then. I met Chaeyoung when we were kids, Tzuyu moved to Seoul around 1983? But they moved back when Tzuyu graduated college. She’s actually the reason why I got my current job and why I was promoted and relocated here. I owe her a lot; it has been better for my paycheck. Tzuyu is nice, she’s tall, loves to talk and sing whenever we're just hanging out here at the apartment. But she’s also my voice of reason, or Chaeyoung’s replacement whenever I need a little boost in confidence. She needs it too, so we just take turns.

What about Momo, how did you guys meet?

I really do like this side of you, this is the most I’ve written, and my hand is starting to hurt. But I don’t mind. You don’t have to answer everything I said, I just wanted to answer you.

Anyway, I think this is all the space I have left for this paper. I’ll be waiting for your letter.

Take care, Nayeon.

Sincerely,
Dahyun