The Shadow You Created

Today was definitely going to be different. Wonyoung told herself as she entered the bookshop that day. 

The bell above her chimed, the door slipping from her fingers, closing with a soft click. 

Gaeul was standing in front of the coffee machine again, not daring to look up, nor acknowledge that she just stepped in. Wonyoung thought that she might be busy. So, slowly and carefully, she approached the counter. 

"Coffee, black?" Gaeul suddenly asked, still not turning to her. 

Wonyoung’s body went still, brows shooting upwards. She blinked. "Yeah..." she answered nervously, rubbing the back of her neck. Gaeul moved with precision, grabbed the cup and prepped the coffee machine. Wonyoung sighed then she stepped a little closer. She wanted to take a risk today. "You're not going to ask me anymore, are you?"

Gaeul glanced up at her briefly. "You order the same thing all the time. Do I really need to?"

It sounded snarky, and usually comments like this made Wonyoung want to bark back. But there was no such feeling that came to her because she was in front of Gaeul. She didn’t feel it out loud. 

If anything, it amused her, a small smile tugged on her lips. She shook her head. "No, perhaps not."

Silence hit them like always, even if Wonyoung wished there was a way to fill it. But the whirring of the coffee machine made things easier for her. It made her think, try to find things to ask, or to say to her. Something that could make Gaeul believe that she was—

"No book today?" Gaeul suddenly asked her. 

Wonyoung didn’t even try to mask her surprise. That made her stammer. "I-I finished it," she said, clearing her throat. She didn’t realize how this was making her feel. She usually was so composed. "It was good. I liked it."

Gaeul looked at her for a moment, expression not changing, nodding her head. "That's good," she muttered, turning towards the coffee machine again and finishing up the coffee.

That surprised her. 

Genuinely surprised her. 

Because that probably was the first time Gaeul asked her something without Wonyoung coaxing her.

Was Gaeul curious about her? Was she noticing these things? Perhaps she needed to look for another book again. Maybe it was safe to ask Gaeul what she recommended. 

It was such a shame that Wonyoung wasn’t able to ask her for that when they were still hanging out. The memories left a bitter taste in her mouth, but her determination made her ignore it. 

This was her chance. She could do something now. 

Gaeul placed her coffee on the counter, not pulling away immediately, their fingers almost brushing again. Wonyoung was seeing everything as a sign. 

Time to bite the bullet.

"Can I ask something?" she asked, voice gentle, even if she was thrumming with a new found energy.

But then Gaeul looked at her. 

Their eyes meet. 

Wonyoung felt her breath hitch for the very first time.

Brown eyes. 

The moles on her face.

A memory of how Gaeul used to look at her like this before played quickly in her mind. 

Gaeul grew up so well. 

Wonyoung only remembered her softer features, the glisten in her eyes when she talked about books, how her face was so small and yet so adorable. 

Now, Gaeul had finer features, a beautiful face, her eyes—still bright, still pretty. Perhaps more beautiful than she remembered. 

Suddenly—her mind went blank. 

Her chest suddenly started feeling ticklish. 

Gaeul simply stared at her, waiting for her question. Then she raised a brow, and Wonyoung shook her head subtly. 

What was her question again?

Shit. 

"What's it like?" she blurted out. When she realized that was the wrong question, she decided to stick with it. She moved her hand around, vaguely pointing to the entirety of the space. "You know... owning the bookshop."

Gaeul blinked. But she answered quickly. "I like it."

That almost made Wonyoung smile. Of course she liked it. "Because you get to be surrounded by books?"

She nodded. "That, yeah. But also because..." her voice trailed, looking away for a moment and muttering. "It's mine."

Wonyoung remembered that. Something that Gaeul said many years ago. That she wanted something she could claim as hers. Something she could be proud of. That was where their goals aligned. It was one of those things they wanted. 

She had her company, and Gaeul had her bookshop. 

Quite frankly, that meant more to Wonyoung than anything. 

Wonyoung smiled, it was warm and sure. "That makes sense. I'm glad," she said softly, looking at Gaeul, gauging her reaction.

Gaeul didn’t respond, but there was something in her expression that softened. Barely. But that was enough for Wonyoung. 

More than enough. 

The bell chimed suddenly. The door swung open, and it was Yujin. 

The feeling in Wonyoung’s chest suddenly dropped. 

Yujin's face lit up, but in a way that looked overly exaggerated, then approached the counter. "Gaeul! You're here!" she said, fake exasperation. "For a moment there, I thought you forgot about me!"

And just like that, Gaeul’s brow twitched, giving Yujin an annoyed look. "We literally saw each other yesterday."

"And that's a long ass time,” Yujin whined, leaning on the counter, comfortable as ever. Then Yujin turned, finally noticing Wonyoung there. She beamed. "Ah! Jang Wonyoung. Glad to see you here again."