Just Admit It

“Hey,” Jimin said over the phone the moment Aeri picked up the phone.

“Hey, what’s up?” Aeri immediately responded. Jimin was aware that she only ever called Aeri over the phone if something was up. Most of what she needed to say that wasn’t important were usually sent through messages.

She didn’t want to beat around the bush anyway.

Jimin bit her lip, fidgeting with her shirt. “I need to tell you something.”

“Just here on the call? Or do you wanna text it to me? Do you want beer? How about I come over?”

Jimin couldn’t help but chuckle. Guess Aeri always knew whenever she had something really important to say.

“Beer. And you can come over. I’ll call the others.”

“Okay, got it.”

Jimin looked at everyone after she told them the truth, gauging their reactions, hoping that no one acted negatively.

Chaeyoung took a big swig from her beer bottle and gently placed it on the coaster Mina placed for her. She took a big breath in, trying to swallow her burp.

“So you’re telling me—“ Chaeyoung still released the burp but then cleared her throat. “That the girl that you mentioned, who appeared in your dream was Minjeong?”

Jimin was picking on the label on her beer bottle and then nodded sheepishly. “Yeah… I’ve been meaning to tell you guys since I had that dream, but I don’t know why I couldn’t get it out of me.”

“Probably because you thought we were gonna discourage you? Or make fun of you?” Tzuyu suddenly voiced out after taking a big gulp from her bottle. She raised a brow at Jimin.

The question hit her a bit harder than she anticipated. Then again, she wasn’t prepared for Tzuyu to be the one to respond.

Jimin looked away, unsure how to look at her friend. “Maybe? Not that I think of you guys like that. I don’t know. Maybe I wasn’t sure about being teased about it. Because then it would feel too real or something.”

She ended up blurting out, probably due to panic or worrying that her friends were going to think of her differently.

Tzuyu suddenly placed her hand on Jimin’s shoulder and smiled at her. “I know we’re not as close to you as Aeri, but we’re each other’s people. We’re never gonna judge you even if you fell in love with someone you just so happened to meet in a dream.”

The rest of the friends nodded in agreement. It was rare to get a big statement like that from Tzuyu, especially if it was her expressing her feelings about something. So these words coming from Tzuyu, was kind of a big deal to all of them.

“I agree with Tzu,” Chaeyoung said. “Not to go off topic, but it’s important for us to remind you that we’re friends. Buddies, compadres, and shit. Don’t worry if whatever you think or feel sounds ridiculous because we’ll just laugh with you. Then we figure out how to help you after.” Chaeyoung ended it with a smile and Jimin couldn’t help but smile back.

“Thanks guys,” Jimin said shyly. Guess hearing it up front did ease her worries a bit. At least that part of her woes had been covered up.

Now she had to tackle the bigger issue.

“So…”

“You’re falling for Minjeong now?” Aeri asked after. “I remember you telling me about that girl from your dream after you had it. And I honestly didn’t expect it to be Minjeong. It kinda makes sense now,” she said after chuckling. “But I get the concern here. You think you’re in love with the real Minjeong because she’s exactly like the girl in your dream?”

“Yes,” Jimin answered immediately. “And that she’s doing exactly what the Minjeong in my dreams did in real life.”

Chaeyoung furrowed her brows. “So, what’s the problem here? It’s still Minjeong?”

Jimin started stammering her words again, trying to find the words to properly explain the situation. “I-I know, it’s just that… I m-mean… I was starting to feel it way before. But then last night happened and she said something that… was in my dream.”

All of them looked at her, trying to understand. Mina reached out to hold her hand. “Can you clarify that? And it’s okay, take your time.”

Jimin took a deep breath and held Mina’s hand, nodding weakly. She let out a sigh and tried again.

“We were hanging out last night. I finally told her about what happened at the train station,” she said, noticing how Chaeyoung and Aeri shifted on their seats. Then she looked at Aeri. “You remember my texts to you? That the girl in the dream wiped my tears away, cupped my face and said it wasn’t my fault.” Jimin then let out a weak laugh. “Minjeong did it. She did the exact same thing.”

Chaeyoung rubbed her mouth with her hand and started nodding. “And because she did that, you’re now sure you’re in love with her?” Jimin nodded. And Chaeyoung huffed. “Excuse me for being dumb here, but why again is this a problem?

“Wait there, love,” Mina suddenly chimed in, interrupting her girlfriend. She faced Jimin this time. “Don’t you think it’s fate? It’s not every day where you dream about a future lover. It just so happens that the universe is making it come true,” Mina explained as she looked at everyone, silently asking for assurance. Then she looked back at Jimin. “You can’t control your feelings sometimes. Falling in love happens naturally when you’re with the right person.”

“If I may,” Tzuyu said suddenly after taking her drink. “Did you develop these feelings further because you got to know her? Or because of the dream and she did the things that were in your dream?”

“I was gonna ask the same thing,” Aeri then said. “Is that what you’re worried about? That you think you’re falling in love with the Minjeong from your dream and not the one in real life?”

Jimin couldn’t help but look away. She tried her best to assess her feelings. Like, when did it start? When did it develop? When was the time where she was sure that she really did have genuine feelings for her?

If she were to dig back into her memories, the first time seeing Minjeong in that snowy field, with all the questions and assumptions that she had in her head, Jimin did feel something. But she wasn’t sure what it was.

The more she dreamt about Minjeong, the more her heart felt weary, but it was also filled with anticipation and unspoken intimacy.

Up until the time that Minjeong and her finally met. Jimin recalled being so smitten by the way she looked in real life. Seeing the actual person in front of her. The brown hair, the doe eyes, the lovely, shaped lips, where the moles kissed her face clearly.

Jimin was sure that she did have a crush on Minjeong, and that was because of how she got to know the woman. Their relationship’s second wind established something inside of Jimin that she knew she couldn’t escape.

She loved having Minjeong around. She loved their talks, the time they spent together, how Minjeong tickled her interests, how she loved listening to her. The cookies, the late night talks, the ice cream breaks by the park.

The time when Minjeong went out of her way to make sure Jimin was okay and visited her at the station.

Another chime of a bell rang inside her head.

Maybe that was her answer.

Mina was right. She was always right, as Chaeyoung would always say. Aeri and Tzuyu had a good point as well. Chaeyoung too.

It wasn’t because of the dreams. Jimin then realized that she developed these feelings outside of it. She wasn't in love with the idea of Minjeong being exactly like the one she dreamt of. She fell in love with the real one. The one she met that March, in the hallway of their apartment building.

Because it was the only Minjeong that mattered. She wanted her love to be as real as the Minjeong that was there.

“Okay, thank you guys,” Jimin said as she smiled at everyone.

Chaeyoung couldn’t help but wince, “Okay, seeing you smile is kinda weird to me.”

“Can’t you give her this one moment?” Tzuyu argued.

“How about you eat shit?!”

And as usual, her friends started to bicker and laugh at each other. Maybe they needed to light up the mood from the seriousness of their talk.