Chapter 38: Oof, Mondays. Am I Right?

Monday | January 15th, 2024 | 1:11 PM

"You're a little late to class," Danielle teased as I scooted past her knees to get to my seat.

Hanni followed up by saying, "Hmph, a little? He missed a good 40 minutes of class already,"

I was already hot from running here from my dorm and the two's remarks were only making it worse. Just my luck, I forgot to set my morning alarm before I went to sleep last night, and now, I'm here dealing with these two teasing.

Haerin glanced at me as I sat down beside her. Her eyes were focused, and she had her laptop out. Her gaze lingered a second too long, and the silence was tense. She cleared her throat and tapped her fingers on a notebook to the side of her laptop.

"You didn't miss much, I got down some of the notes if you want to look at them," Haerin whispered, sliding her notebook towards me. "Thanks," I breathed, and the word was quick.

"It's no problem," She replied, and the tone was nonchalant. Her attention was already back on the board, where the professor was going over the next topic. I couldn't explain it. I only talk to Haerin whenever I see her in class now. Nothing's wrong, we're fine, there's nothing off about the friendship we had.

Yet, somehow, it doesn't feel the same. Something's off, and the distance is weird, and the closeness is awkward. I didn't mean to avoid Haerin when me and Chaewon got back together. We're not avoiding each other, we're just busy with our lives and don't talk that often. Right? That feels right.

"So, Minjae, why were you so late today?" Danielle asked. Her elbows were propped up on the table, and her chin was resting on the palm of her hand.

"I woke up late," I sighed, speaking past Haerin and Hanni to reply to the girl sitting two seats away. "That's the lamest reason ever," Hanni remarked,the words were quick and the tone was flat.

"Elaborate, Minjae," Danielle demanded. "Did you drink too much last night, or did you go partying? Come on, give us something to work with here," Hanni added on. I can see Haerin out of the corner of my eye, her focus breaking ever so slightly.

"No, I didn't. I just happened to forget to set my alarm. It's no big deal," I clarified. To be fair, I was telling them the truth, just not the full story. "What time did you go to sleep last night?" Hanni questioned.

"Not important,"

"Was it late enough to warrant sleeping through your alarm?"

"Again, not important,"

"If you tell us, I'll drop it," Hanni negotiated. 

"I was asleep by 4, happy?" I replied.

Danielle and Hanni gasped, and their hands were in front of their mouths. Even Haerin, who was facing forward, was giving me a curious side-eye. "Jesus, Minjae, are you alright?" Danielle exclaimed, reaching her arm across Hanni and Haerin's desks and onto my resting arm.

"Yeah, how are you not feeling tired?" Hanni questioned, her hand falling on top of Danielle's. I shrugged, moving their hands off me. "I don't know, I feel fine," I responded. Hanni and Danielle stared at me with shocked and confused looks, their eyes wide and their mouths open.

"Wow, alright then Mr. Tough Guy, just don't pass out on us," Hanni commented, her hands returning to her lap. 

"I'm curious, though, what were you doing up so late?" Danielle asked, her tone was curious.

"I was spending my weekend with Chaewon, and I drove home late, that's it," I answered. Originally, I was supposed to go home the morning after our little 'sleepover' but we ended up spending the entire day together and I left late at night. There was a strange moment of silence, and the air was tense. I glanced at Haerin for some reason.

She was typing, but her expression was stoic. Her eyes were focused on her screen, and her hands were moving, and her lips were pursed. I didn't know what to think. I thought I told myself it'd be fine to talk about Haerin in front of Chaewon and vice versa but why did I feel so uncomfortable now?

Looking at Haerin, I couldn't even tell if she was feeling how uncomfortable I was. She's always so hard to read, her emotions never show through her face. Her eyes were dark and her eyebrows were furrowed, and her gaze was intense. Was this just a one-sided feeling? Did she really not care about the whole situation?

I'm not even sure why this was a situation. Am I just overreacting? Haerin's mature, definitely more mature than me, if anything. Maybe it's me. She wouldn't be upset with the idea of me being with someone else. Is it my ego telling me I was some kind of catch that's worth the jealousy?

Why would Haerin be jealous? A pretty girl like her, smart, independent, and sweet, she could get any guy she wanted, and it's not like she needs anyone.

Haerin and I are friends. We're just friends, that's it. I had to keep reminding myself for as much as the voice in my head was telling me otherwise.

"Well, good for you, Minjae," Danielle praised. Her voice cut through the tension in my head, and the sound was sharp. She smiled and nodded her head at me, and the motion was fast.

"Yeah, I'm happy for you," Hanni continued, her hand coming back on top of Danielle's. "How did you two even meet, anyway?" She questioned. I awkwardly chuckled, not expecting to share our love story in the middle of a class lecture.

"It's a long story actually, maybe for another time," I tried to dismiss, but Danielle was quick to object. "Aww, c'mon, it's not like we're paying attention in the first place. Haerin's the only one focused on class," Danielle argued, her tone was childish and her voice was loud in her whisper. Her body was leaning over Hanni and her desk.

Hanni tucked her head onto Danielle's shoulder and giggled. "Yeah, c'mon, Minjae. Share the story," Hanni urged. The two of them looked up at me with pleading eyes, their faces were close together, and their bodies were closer.

They're cute together.

"Uh, well, it starts all the way back in high school," I started, pausing to check if they were paying attention.

Hanni was staring intently at me. Danielle was smirking, her eyebrow was raised up. Their body language was relaxed, and the two were close. "And we started dating when I started sophomore year," I continued. "We were friends before then but somehow we just got closer that summer and we started dating."

"Aww, wait, so you two are high school sweethearts," Danielle threw her hands up to her mouth, shocking Hanni from the jerky movement.

"Kind of, yeah," I tried to explain, "We ended up breaking up at the end of our junior year because her family had to move away, and we decided it'd be better to break things off instead of keeping the relationship going."

"And then, you two started dating again after seeing each other after three years?" Hanni interjected.

"Pretty much, we lost contact over the years because we just got caught up in our own things I guess," I replied.

"So, did you guys meet by accident or was it planned?" Danielle asked. Hanni's hand fell atop of Danielle's arm and she started fiddling with the bracelet around her wrist.

"It was a few months ago, I went to the club and I needed a breather. While I was outside, I ran into Chaewon who also went outside for a breather," I recounted. Hanni's hand gripped tightly on the bracelet and she let out a small gasp. "Wait, so she just happened to be there even though she lives like hours away?" She exclaimed. Her voice was quiet and her words were fast, and her eyes were wide.

"Well, her friends dragged her down there, and she only lives an hour and a half away," I clarified. My eyes moved to Haerin for a brief moment, and for the first time today, I sensed a hint of emotion from her. Her motions were slow and her eyes were deep. Her expression seemed just a bit solemn.

My stare lingered a bit longer, and the sight was haunting. It wasn't long before she shaped up and looked back towards the front. My eyes darted back to Hanni and Danielle, the former playfully shoving Danielle around as the two gushed about the 'high school sweethearts'.

"It's really romantic, isn't it," Hanni commented. Her hand was wrapped around Danielle's forearm, and her head was resting on her shoulder.

"Yeah, I think so," Danielle agreed, her tone was soft and her lips were curled. They continued gushing about our past. I couldn't help but glance back at Haerin every now and then.

Was I the only one that felt weird about the conversation? Well, no, I saw with my own eyes the change in Haerin's demeanor. Did I? She was fine now. She's not acting like anything's wrong. Maybe it's my imagination, or maybe the guilt is creeping in and the guilt is the feeling making me act funny. I couldn't get the look she had on her face out of my mind. It was the briefest flash of something that lasted less than a second, but it felt like an eternity.

Maybe I'm reading too much into things. She's probably not bothered by the conversation at all. We're fine. Everything's fine.

"Ooh, actually, I just remembered," Danielle perked up, the action shaking Hanni's body. "There's actually this volunteer thing at the local soup kitchen that's looking for people. Remember, you said you'd go if Haerin goes!"

Hanni nudged Haerin's arm, grabbing her attention. "Join the conversation, would you want to come with us to volunteer at the soup kitchen?" Hanni asked. Haerin stared blankly at her friend before shrugging her shoulders and muttering, "Sure, sounds fun."

"See! Haerin's going, so you have to go!" Danielle turned her focus back on me. Hanni looked over at me, sticking her lips out and widening her eyes. Then Haerin turned her neck, her gaze falling onto me. Internally, I was down to go and I was a little bit glad Haerin was going, too. Externally, however, I rolled my eyes and said, "Fine, I'll go,"

Danielle squealed to herself and Hanni laughed. Haerin and I shared a glance, and for the briefest moment, I caught her smiling at me. Her academic self quickly took over and her gaze fell back on the professor for the nth time this lecture. I was still a little stuck in the moment, but I could see Danielle and Hanni still having their little moment.