Sunday | October 29th, 2023 | 10:54 AM
“Fuck,” I murmured into the air as I rolled over onto my side. My hand reached down my side and pulled my blanket closer to my head, hiding my face from the bright sun-rays shining through my bedroom windows. Hmm, I don’t remember my alarm waking me up? Wait, isn't it Sunday? What time is it even? I stretched my arm out from underneath my blanket towards the direction of my nightstand, where my phone should be. Hmm, but my phone isn't there.
Ah, that’s right. I don't remember taking my phone out of my pockets before taking my clothes off last night. I rolled over, stretching my body as I reached for my jeans laying on the floor. After a bit of struggling, I was able to pull my phone from the pockets of my pants. Pressing the home button, the screen lit up and showed me the time.
I sighed, throwing my phone onto my bed beside me and rubbing my face. There’s no way I'm going to be able to fall asleep again now that the sunlight is seeping in through my windows and my mind is now fully awake. My head started throbbing, a familiar pain of a hangover. The pounding headache was only a dull ache right now, and hopefully I could ease it before it gets any worse.
All my moving around must've woken up Nakyung, who started to softly groan out loud behind me. I turned over to face her side of the bed. She shifted her body around, pulling the blanket off her head, exposing her bare back and shoulders to me. I sighed into the air and rolled back over, blinking my eyes while I stared at the ceiling.
"Ugh, I don't feel too well," Nakyung muttered from her side of the bed. Her voice was dry, and she was mumbling her words. "What time is it?"
"Almost 11, we've been asleep for a while," I yawned. Nakyung rolled over, facing me. I glanced over, and saw her looking over me with a sleepy expression. Her bangs were messy and her makeup from yesterday had smudged around her eyes. Her skin was bare, and the blanket covered her torso down.
"What about you? You were more drunk than me last night," she laughed. Her voice was hoarse, probably from her dehydration and her sore throat.
"I'm fine, I think. My head hurts, though," I groaned.
"Mine too," she sighed, closing her eyes. Her eyebrows furrowed and she frowned. "Ugh, why did I drink so much?"
"Same here," I sighed. I looked back to the ceiling and tried to remember what had happened last night. The last thing I remembered was that we drove back to Wooyoung's apartment, where we took a breather before we all left to go home. The drive home was pretty tough, I was exhausted and still sobering up. Thankfully, we safely got back to my dorm and just passed out.
Nakyung groaned from her side of the bed and rolled over, getting up. She sat up and stretched her body out, her back popping as she raised her arms above her head and let the blanket fall down, exposing her light pink bra. I turned and looked up, admiring her beautiful, petite frame. She looked over her shoulder, glancing at me, her eyes half open.
"I'm starving," she whispered, her voice quiet and rough. My stomach seemed to react on cue, grumbling loudly. "Me too, but I don't think I have anything at home," I chuckled. I rubbed my neck and blinked a couple times, "I'm pretty sure the student union should be open today, we can eat breakfast there."
"Yeah, that's fine. We should probably shower before we go because we smell like straight alcohol," Nakyung groaned, wrinkling her nose. I didn't have to confirm her statement, the stench of alcohol was definitely wafting off of us. We reeked of it. "I'll go back to my dorm and shower, meet up in about 20 minutes?" She wrapped around the bed, moving towards her discarded pile of clothes that's been sitting in my room since yesterday afternoon
"Sure, that sounds good," I agreed. She put her pants and shirt on, and gathered her other things like her phone, wallet, and keys, "Alright, I'll let myself out. See you in a bit." With a final wave, she left the room and shut the door behind her. I let out a satisfying groan as I crawled out of bed, getting ready to start the day.
Sunday | October 29th, 2023 | 11:27 AM
I stood outside of my dorm building, waiting around in the Student Village courtyard. A light breeze swept across the grass, rustling the leaves on the trees. There weren't many people around, maybe a few scattered here and there, but it was quiet and calm. I spotted Nakyung coming towards me from her dorm building.
Her hair wasn't fully dried, but she had her split-dyed, baby blue and pink locks in a high ponytail. Together, we started our walk to the Student Union building. It was a nice day out, a cool breeze in the air and a cloudless sky.
"So, what are you hungry for?" I asked her as we walked. She looked over at me and shrugged, "I don't know, I'm not picky. I'll eat whatever."
"Mhm, same here," I sighed. For a bit, it was silent between us, and I had time to gather my thoughts. Last night was definitely eventful, to say the least.But if I’m being honest, it was a little bit hard to process it all. My brain felt scrambled, like the events of yesterday were either blurry or out of order. Now, I'm just feeling overstimulated, confused, and a bit conflicted. Nakyung noticed the look on my face and tilted her head to the side to grab my attention.
"Something's bothering you," she pointed out. I blinked, snapping out of my trance, and looked down at her. "What's wrong? Is something on your mind?"
I felt slower in the head this morning, so her questions floated around in my head without a response.
"Hey," she murmured, nudging my shoulder, "You okay? Whatcha thinking about?" I shook my head and shrugged, "I don't know. I can't really recall much from yesterday."
"Well, what do you remember from last night?"
"I don't know, we got to Wooyoung's right? We drank with the group and then I was suddenly dancing in the club, and then we were heading home."
"You don't remember the car ride to the club? Like at all?" She questioned.
"No, not at all," I sighed, scratching the back of my head. She hummed and nodded, "Hm, okay. Well, nothing really happened. Do you know what happened while we were at the club?"
Fragments of memories were floating to the front of my head, but I knew there had to be a concrete timeline that I was missing. Nakyung was looking at me with a patient expression. Her head tilted to the side as she patiently waited for an answer. "I-I think, um, well, no, I'm not really sure. We were dancing together, right?"
"Yeah, we were dancing together. It was really fun," Nakyung nodded, smiling. "What else do you remember?" I held my hands to my face and let out a small groan, "Fuck, um, I was with you, and you were jumping around, and I was jumping around with you. I think we... uh.. fuck..." I trailed off, furrowing my eyebrows as I tried to dig deep in my mind.
"So, do you remember seeing Sana or Tzuyu? We danced with them for a bit," Nakyung reminded me, trying to help jog my memory. It became clearer. I do remember Sana and Tzuyu were dancing with us as well. Although, there was some point when the girls had disappeared and Nakyung was alone with me. We were outside at this point though, so everything in between was lost to me.
"I think we left them and went outside. Did I throw up?" I asked, my face dropped in premature defeat. Nakyung started giggling, a nice laugh escaping her lips, "No, thank god. You just got overheated so I took you outside to cool down."
"Ah, that makes sense. Thanks for saving my ass," I laughed. Nakyung bit her lip, looking up at me. Her face was scrunched up, as if she was deep in thought. Seeing her face told me I needed to remember something that had happened, and that it was important. It started small before the fragments started piling up.
"Wait, Tzuyu," I mumbled, blinking, "Onlyfans... Panties...," I looked back at Nakyung, my eyebrows raised. "Holy shit, didn't we find out Tzuyu has an OnlyFans? Was that actually for real?"
What I thought was an alcohol fever dream turned out to be a reality.
"Oh, my god," I groaned, hiding my face. Nakyung was laughing now, her laughter filling the air and ringing in my ears. "Yeah, it was a bit of a shock, wasn't it?" She grinned, a teasing look in her eye.
"Yeah, just a bit," I grumbled, rolling my eyes. Out of all the girls in the goobers, Tzuyu was the last person I would've thought to be into cam-work and panty selling. She wasn't exactly shy, but she wasn't super open about her sexuality. She seemed like she had a pretty innocent view on sex, and was rather reserved. To be fair, her Onlyfans was just as tame as she talks, but still it was still shocking she was able to hide this. I'm assuming the others don't know either, not even Sana.
"What are we going to do about Tzuyu?" Nakyung questioned, a playful smirk on her face. I thought for a bit and shrugged, "I mean, I don't exactly know. Are we going to tell anyone?"
It was definitely exciting at the moment, but what can we really do with her secret? I could only think about maybe buying her panties from her account, but I didn't feel like giving up money for her underwear. I could guess Nakyung was thinking of something else because her face was contorted into a mischievous smirk.
"Well, what if we were to use her account for... personal pleasure?" Nakyung giggled. "Wouldn't that be fun?"
"Well, yeah, duh," I laughed, "But what do you mean by that?"
"Think about it," she grinned, "If she's hiding this from the world, her friends and family, then imagine how embarrassed and mortified she would be if someone were to expose her Onlyfans and her panty-selling business?" Nakyung's voice was low and her expression was suggestive. I was sure where she was going with this but I let her continue.
"How about we message her one day and tell her that since we have access to her account, we could threaten to expose her if she doesn't do what we say. We can make her do whatever we want," Nakyung suggested, a teasing tone to her voice. I was taken aback, thinking about how bad I would feel for Tzuyu but one look into Nakyung's eyes and her devilish grin, and I decided I'll play along with her fantasy.
"I see, we can make her hand deliver her own panties to us," I murmured. Nakyung scoffed at my idea, verbally rolling her eyes at me.
"C'mon, this discovery is bigger than panties, Minjae. Whatever we want, do you know what that means? Anything, I mean anything! We can make her strip for us, tease her and even exploit her nudes as our final demand," Nakyung's eyes lit up. Her grin was wider than ever, her eyes twinkling with mischievous ideas. I awkwardly laughed, "W-We can?"
"Of course," she giggled for a bit before stopping after seeing the shocked look on my face, "Why, do you not want to?"
"It's just that, well, do we have to go that far?" I questioned. Nakyung raised her eyebrow and tilted her head to the side, a teasing smile spreading on her face, "Are you going soft on me now, Hwang Minjae?" She cooed.
"Shut up," I grumbled, blushing slightly, "I-I just don’t think we should go that far. I just want her underwear."
"Why? Is the idea of using your friend as a sex toy a bad thing? Is it weird or gross? I'm surprised," Nakyung chuckled, obviously describing our current relationship as of lately. "I thought you were getting bolder after that little story you told me yesterday. Guess I was wrong," she giggled, patting me on the chest and walking ahead.
"It's not that. I just want her underwear. I don't need to see my friend naked," I mumbled, catching up with her. "But you could, and that's the point I'm trying to get across. Why are you settling for less right now? This is a chance to explore, have fun, and feed that horny voice in your head," she insisted, raising her voice in excitement.
"Nakyung, are you not worried about Tzuyu's feelings?" I asked, "This is her secret. And she's our friend."
"Nope, not at all. And so what, this is a perfect chance for you to double down on those nasty thoughts that I know are in your head, so quit pretending like you're some saint who cares about his friend. Take it up with Joy after you literally broke into her room for some underwear," Nakyung rolled her eyes. "You've got a perverted mindset, a filthy, disgusting one at that. Right?"
I didn't respond, letting her words sink in. She wasn't wrong, I wasn't the innocent angel that I'm pretending to be. In some part of my brain, there's that little voice that's telling me that I would be into seeing Tzuyu naked, or to take advantage of her. No normal person should ever have a hint of that kind of thought, not even once, but I do.
And I wasn't sure what that said about me. Perhaps at my core, I am a bad person, and maybe that's why I have been stealing girl's underwear. That's why I have these sick fantasies. Like Nakyung says, I'm just a kinky freak. That's just the type of person I am.
"Ah, yeah, you're right," I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck. Up ahead, we were coming upon the entrance to the Student Union. It was a hub for the students of the university, housing the cafeteria, the bookstore, and the administrative offices. We approached the main doors, and went inside.
"I'm sorry for sort of snapping at you there," Nakyung apologized, grabbing my hand and rubbing it. "I understand what you mean, I do. But it's a good chance, don't you think? Exploring your kinkier side? We can have a lot of fun with this."
"I know, I understand," I sighed.
"You still seem apprehensive about this," she pointed out, narrowing her eyes at me. "Are you sure you're okay with this?"
"I don't know. I have a lot of mixed feelings about this. But, I trust you, Nakyung, and I'll go along with it."
"Okay," she hummed, and a smile crept onto her face, "Look, how about we hold off on this Tzuyu plan for a bit. I feel bad if I'm making you feel uncomfortable diving straight into this. I should help you ease into the more intense stuff. But we will do this, and we will have fun."
"That's fine with me," I agreed. I didn't want to disappoint her, but the thought of manipulating Tzuyu, our friend, was starting to make my stomach turn. Although, now I’m curious what Nakyung meant by ‘easing into the intense stuff’.
"Awesome," she giggled. Feeling our conversation come to a close, we headed towards the cafeteria. We stepped through the doors to the cafeteria, the cool air hitting us as the aroma of coffee and freshly cooked food filled the air. There was a small breakfast buffet that was provided every morning for the students. There were just a few students that were scattered here and there, sitting at their tables with their laptops, most likely multitasking eating and working on last minute homework.
Together, we approached the buffet and grabbed our plates. The two of us got simple breakfast meals, including pancakes, bacon, sausage, and eggs, along with a coffee and juice between us. We sat down at an empty table a bit further away from the other students before we started to dig in. It's been a while since I had a "full meal". Between all the working, practicing, and socializing, I mostly looked towards instant meals for a quick and easy fix. But now, eating actual real food was like an orgasmic experience.
"This is so good," I sighed, digging in. "Mhm," Nakyung nodded, chewing. It definitely hit the spot after a night like last night. Speaking of which, there were still some blurry spots in my memories that I needed to get clarified. After the discovery of Tzuyu's Onlyfans, and after the shenanigans we went through to take control of her account, Nakyung left me outside by myself to take a breather.
What did I do by myself? That part is missing. I don't know if it was just me, but I had a bad feeling that what I was going to remember wasn't going to be so good. Nakyung was quietly eating, scrolling through her phone. There was no point in asking. She wasn't going to be much help since she wasn't there with me during my time alone.
I mindlessly cut my sausages in smaller and smaller pieces, my mind drifting in and out of my memories, and the present moment. If you've never had the experience of blacking out and having lapses in your memories, then you're fucking lucky. Right now, all I felt was frustration and confusion.
There was an itch at the back of my head that told me I was about to uncover something terrible. More often than not, with a feeling like that, I would let the memories be. Just let them stay in the back of my mind until they eventually fade away. It was better that way but a part of me just couldn't shake off the feeling that it was important to remember.
I shuffled around to pull out my phone. I opened up my photo gallery, scrolling down. Maybe there was something I took while I was blacked out. A picture, a video, anything that can fill the holes in my memory. At the bottom of my gallery, I can see pictures that were taken before we even got into the club. A group photo with the goobers plus extra, a group photo of just the guys, and various other pictures that Joy or someone else must've taken.
That's when I spotted someone. Someone who shouldn't have been in my gallery during that time. Haerin was holding up a bowl of ramen, smiling right into the camera. Her hair was tied up in a ponytail, emphasizing her beautiful face. My jaw tightened, slowly but surely piecing the memories together.
So my bad feeling was about Haerin, that's not good news. I forced myself to take another bite of food before going through my phone, looking for more clues. There, in my messages, was an entire conversation that I didn't remember having. I skimmed over the texts, getting a grasp of the context.
At first, it was a normal conversation between the two of us, wondering and asking how the other was doing. But it started to take a turn for the worse. I came across a particular chain of messages.
i wish you were here
Haerinare you drunk
I grimaced, feeling a headache coming. The messages became increasingly worse, as Haerin seemed to have caught onto the fact that I was a drunken mess and tried to remove herself from the conversation. I had eventually doubled down on being a drunken mess and was being super desperate with her.
i didnt mean to upset you
...
wait no is it because ive been drinking?
i promise i was being safe and responsible if youre worried
...
wait are you mad at me?
If that didn't sound enough like a clingy and desperate asshole, then I didn't know what was. The rest of the messages were Haerin trying to leave and Minjae, not knowing how to read the room, was trying to persuade her to keep talking. My stomach churned. There was no doubt in my mind, I made a total ass of myself last night. Not only did I make an ass of myself, but I made Haerin uncomfortable and that wasn't something I wanted to do.
I sighed, putting my phone back down and going back to eating. Nakyung looked up at me and tilted her head, "Everything okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," I sighed, "Just trying to remember some things from last night."
"Oh, did you finally remember Chaewon?" She asked, an interested glint in her eye. Huh.
"Chae-won?" I asked, unsure. Kim Chaewon? It wasn't like floodgates had opened and I suddenly remembered the entire moment with her. Instead, it felt like a slideshow was appearing in my mind. Snippets of a moment in time. The image of Chaewon, her bright eyes and warm smile, and the smell of alcohol and sweat, the sounds of booming music.
My hands tingled as they remembered being dragged by her through the crowd, our bodies swaying and bumping against each other. Kim Chaewon. She was there. She was at the club. We were dancing together. She was there, she was with me. She was with me, and I was with her.
Just what I needed. Another curveball. "Oh yeah," I chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of my neck, "I remember now."
"Good," she giggled, taking a sip from her coffee, "I was a bit worried there. It was quite a shock seeing you and Chaewon."
"Yeah," I laughed, "She just showed up, y'know. Wasn't expecting her."
"Mhm, did she say what she was doing there?"
"I think she said she was in town with her friends and coincidentally came to the same club as us," I explained. She hummed in response. I noticed my appetite had gone missing and a sinking feeling hit my stomach. I stopped eating, staring at the plate. Why do I feel so empty now? All I could think about was last night, so much had to happen in the span of a couple hours and I barely had the mental strength to remember it at all.
Not only that, Chaewon was now playing on repeat in my mind. It had been a long time since we last spoke. It was hard to believe we would meet again at the club. What a coincidence. If I wasn't so out of it, I probably would've had more energy to appreciate her being there. But I could barely even remember anything, and my head was pounding trying to wrap around it all.
"Did you guys get to talk? How is she doing?" Nakyung questioned. I nodded, "We did. She said she was doing fine. She's in a community college up where she lives."
"Ah, that's good to hear. It's been a while since high school," she sighed.
I shrugged, "Yeah, it's nice to know she's doing okay, and I'm happy for her." Chaewon was jumping around in my head rent-free, her voice and her laugh bounced around the walls of my skull. Maybe I was more upset than I was letting myself know.
Why did she have to be the same girl that I remember all those years ago? Couldn't she have been somewhat uglier, instead of being prettier than ever? Couldn't she have been rude and condescending instead of sweet and cute? Why did I have to see her again, and why did I want to see her more? Fuck, I hate this feeling. Was Chaewon also thinking about me as much as I was thinking about her right now?
I wanted to slap myself. This is the exact type of shit I didn't want to deal with. But the more I thought about Chaewon, the more the memories were coming back, and the more I remembered the good times we spent together. There was a reason I tried to push down that part of my life and bury it six feet under, but here I was, opening up old wounds and bringing myself to relive those memories all over again.
I glanced up and noticed Nakyung was still eyeing me, "Is it bothering you that much?" I nodded in response, and she frowned, sighing.
"Do you still have feelings for her?" She asked, her voice a whisper, as if she was trying not to let anyone else hear.
"No, I'm definitely over her," I sighed, shaking my head, "I just… can't stop thinking about her. Like, I don't know, I want to know if she's doing okay. How has her life been since she left? Or you know, what our lives could've been if her family didn't have to move away."
"So you're not over her, Minjae," Nakyung murmured. I let it sink in for a moment. For years, I was over the idea of being with Chaewon. For years, I didn't think about her until now.
"Then what should I do," I replied, hoping for an answer.
"Minjae, did you forget about Haerin?" Nakyung reminded me, her brows furrowing together. "You can't just throw away all the progress you made with her because you saw someone from the past."
I stared down at the food, a feeling of shame rushing over me. I didn't need her to remind me. Nakyung doesn't even know what happened between Haerin and me yet and I didn't exactly want to fill her in either. She didn't need to know about how stupid I was, and how badly I probably screwed up any chance of me and Haerin being an actual couple.
"Shit, you're right, sorry," I grumbled, feeling bitter towards myself. I ran my hand through my hair, tugging at it lightly, wanting to scream at my stupidity. "I'm a fucking dumbass." I said out loud, charged with a double meaning.
"You are, but I'm used to it," Nakyung rolled her eyes, giving me a teasing smile. Although, after seeing how dejected and upset I was, she softened up. Her hand reached over the table towards mine, running her fingers over the back of my palm. "You've been thinking about a lot today, haven't you. I bet your brain hasn't stopped working all morning."
"Yeah, pretty much," I sighed. Nakyung was right. It was a lot to deal with, and maybe not all at once would be nice. All of a sudden, Nakyung's phone vibrated against the table. She hissed and let go of my hand, pulling up her phone. Her eyes drifted over it for a brief moment before she planted it face down on the table.
"I have to go. Jihyo and Nayeon wanted to meet up with me and some others for a small meeting. I think I'm in the inner circle now?" She announced. She was getting up, collecting her phone, and gathering her trash. "You'll be fine, right? You won't do anything stupid?"
"Of course not," I huffed. "Go ahead and do your thing. I'm going to stick around and relax for a bit, maybe head home and take a shower or something. Don't worry about me, okay?"
Her eyes flickered around me, taking me in. Nakyung grinned, patting the top of my head, "Okay. Be a good boy for me." I watched her as she got up, waving and walking away, her pink and blue hair disappearing from the cafeteria, leaving me by myself to finish the rest of my half-eaten breakfast.
Naturally, my eyes gravitated back to my phone with Haerin being the most recent thought in my head. I unlocked my phone and went back to my messages. Haerin's texts stared back at me. There wasn't much to work with, and honestly, I wasn't going to get much by texting her either. Maybe I can call her, but that would be stupid of me to do right now. What if she was still uncomfortable with me? I would only make it worse.
For what seemed like minutes on minutes, I repeatedly drafted and erased messages to send. I kept trying to find the right way to approach her. What would I even say to her? Do I ignore what happened the night before and try to pick up the pieces? Should I bring it up and apologize? There were too many options and none of them felt right. Eventually, after some time, I put my phone away and just sat in silence, staring at the empty space across from me, thinking.
It seemed like my only option was to just do nothing, because in my head, I'm just going to fuck it up if I tried. My brain was just screaming at me, telling me that everything will turn out for the worse. That was the best-case scenario, and that's how it should be. Because who the hell was I kidding, Haerin and I would never end up together.
Man, fuck. My chest felt heavy and the room felt tight. I hated having these thoughts, but they were the thoughts that kept me from doing the wrong things. They were the ones that prevented me from fucking everything up. That was a good thing, right? Not fucking things up?
"Fucking shit, " I mumbled to myself, and wiping my face with both hands. My hands fell on the sides of the table, and I let out a sigh, staring into the fluorescent lights up on the ceiling. Fuck. I have a dog that I need to go feed right now. Ryu suddenly entered my head. Thank god, I would've almost forgotten about him in the haze of my overlapping thoughts.
Deciding against trying to finish my breakfast, I started cleaning our table. After throwing away the leftover food and trash, I walked out of the cafeteria and back towards my dorm. Once I get to feeding Ryu and go home, I'll probably take a nap and try to sleep off this little headache that just won't go away.
Sunday | October 29th, 2023 | 6:23 PM
Speaking of headaches, that nap really hit the spot. I could no longer feel my head pounding and that was just great. I felt myself wake up as I rolled over, the blanket tangling around my legs. I opened my eyes and rubbed the back of my hand against them, the dim light from outside the window shining right into my room. The room was quiet, except for the sound of the AC system humming above me. I pushed myself up, and reached over to the nightstand for my phone.
I don't even know what I was expecting to see anyways. There was nothing, no notifications for me to obsess over, no text messages from Haerin or anyone else. Nothing. Maybe the world was trying to tell me something. Everything happens for a reason, huh? Maybe my fucking up my thin relationship with Haerin was some sort of divine intervention.
I found myself laughing bitterly, coming up with these stupid excuses to cover my own ass. I was the only person to blame and no matter what, it was because of my own actions. Not Haerin, not the universe, not anyone else. Only me. With a sigh, I tossed my phone onto the bed, and threw the covers off of me. I swung my legs off the side and let my feet hit the floor, my head falling into my hands. I was still somewhat feeling out of it, not fully awake and mentally ready to be conscious.
I left my bedroom and wandered towards the living room, where the silence of my bedroom followed me into the entirety of the dorm. Tomorrow, Seulgi should be coming back from her trip with Minhyuk so it'd be nice to finally have company again. My eyes wandered around the empty dorm and I figured I'd do some cleaning before she got back.
Usually, we would do it together, but I'll be the better roommate and get started without her. First things first was picking up trash. There wasn't much around the dorm, thankfully, as I was pretty clean and responsible about that sort of stuff. It was just the odd pieces of trash that was laying around the floor and in the living room.
I walked into the kitchen to find the vacuum cleaner and duster after finishing picking up the trash. While moving towards the living room, I started on dusting, running the feather duster over the TV stand, the top of the drawers, and the couch. The dust was minimal but it didn't hurt to keep the place tidy.
Even if I tried to keep myself occupied, thoughts about Haerin were continuing to creep into the crevices of my brain. It was starting to feel like I was getting nowhere and falling into an ouroboros of overthinking. How can I fix this? Can it even be fixed? Should I leave her alone and never bother her again? Should I give her space? Should I reach out more? Should I be less desperate?
Fuck, Hwang Minjae, you really messed this one up, huh. It still baffled me that one moment was all it took for everything I worked up to be flushed down the drain. It was a moment of weakness. It was a stupid mistake. Maybe it'll work out somehow. Maybe all it took was for a day for the two of us to recollect our thoughts before we go back to normal.
"Maybe, maybe, maybe, " I said to myself. Maybe I'm overreacting and I'm expecting the worst when Haerin was probably too busy today to talk to me. But that maybe didn't feel like it was going to be the case. Maybe, that was the last time we'd speak to each other. The thoughts were driving me crazy.
I finished dusting the living room and went to put the duster away, grabbing the vacuum on the way back. I turned it on and started going over the carpet, moving the furniture and the table out of the way to reach all of the corners and crevices. It felt like every action I did was on autopilot.
All I could do was stare blankly at the walls while my body moved without thinking, and the thoughts continued to pile up and overwhelm me. Either I desperately needed something else to take my mind off of Haerin, or I just bite the bullet and call her and see if she's open to talk. After spending this much time whining and worrying, it would be best if I just rip the band-aid off and figure out how bad I fucked up.
I took my time to vacuum, using the time to plot out my first step. What would I even say? Maybe, "Hi, how are you, sorry about last night"? Or, "Hey, what's up, I don't know if you hate me or anything but we need to talk"? That's probably not a good idea. Shit. I should probably keep it simple. I don't think Haerin would like it if I bombarded her with questions.
Haerin would probably appreciate it if I talked to her more calmly. She wouldn't want a repeat of the previous night, but honestly, there's no guarantee I won't make things worse. As I finished cleaning, I was putting everything back, the duster and vacuum cleaner. I patted my pockets for my phone but it wasn't there. I stood stupidly in the middle of the kitchen before remembering I had thrown my phone on the bed earlier.
I hurried back to my room, pushing the door open. It was empty and the covers were still in a mess. The curtains were drawn back, letting the orange glow of the setting sun peek through. My eyes fell on the bed, and there was my phone, buried in the blanket.
I lunged forward, scooping my phone and getting ready to send my first message to Haerin but something else made me stop and hold my breath. No, it wasn't Haerin either, and yet, it still had a hold on my emotions. It was a direct message request on Instagram, from a user named _chaechae_1.
My breath caught in my throat, and my heart dropped to the floor. I couldn't even believe my eyes, as they scanned over the username over and over, not knowing what to feel or think. My hands were shaking, and my knees felt weak, and before I knew it, I was collapsing to the ground and falling into a sitting position while leaning against my bed.
_chaechae_1 sent you a message!
It was sent about 13 minutes ago while I was cleaning outside in the living room, but it felt like an eternity as I was waiting to move. The anticipation was building and growing the longer I looked at the notification. After enough pauses and stops, I decided to click it:
_chaechae_1hey minjaee
It was simple enough but it was a lot more than just that. It was her. She was probably waiting on a response, although it's been a while so I was scared I had already lost her interest in me. My fingers hovered over the keyboard, debating what to reply with. My heart was beating out of my chest and I felt the sweat building up in my hands:
hwg_minjae_
hey chaewon
Short. Simple. Direct. I waited a couple of seconds and it became a minute. Two minutes passed. No reply. Fuck, if I just had my phone on me, I would've replied right away instead of having to sit and wait. Maybe she gave up and decided that she was done with me. Maybe it was too long of a pause and she decided to give up and go do something else.
Maybe she realized that it was a mistake. A couple of minutes turned into a full ten minutes. She still hadn't replied. I let out a heavy sigh and fell back against the edge of the bed. My head tilted upwards, staring at the ceiling, wondering what was going through Chaewon's mind right now. Was she as nervous as I was?
Probably not. What was there to be so nervous about? The girl was probably confident and not giving it much thought. Unlike me, who was over here sweating and panicking over every little thing. It was probably a mistake to wait so long, now it'll just seem like I was being uninterested and disengaged.
I wasn't trying to be disinterested, I was just scared and unsure of how to reply. But it wasn't a good enough excuse, and I felt awful, thinking about the disappointment on Chaewon's face if she was waiting on a reply, but never received one. Damn, what's with all of this thinking, why is my head doing this?
I just wanted my thoughts to slow down. My brain was running fast and it was exhausting trying to keep up with it. But my thoughts were finally disrupted by the sound of a buzz, and my body snapped up from where it was slumped. There was a message notification, and my eyes locked on it, immediately reading the preview:
_chaechae_1woww thank god you responded
i didnt know u changed your number?
A sigh of relief escaped my lips. It felt like a huge weight was taken off of my chest. I do remember changing my number after I got a new phone a few years back. By then, I had somewhat forgotten about Chaewon so I never felt the need to hit her up or let her know. I never imagined we'd be reconnecting after all these years.
hwg_minjae_
oh yeah hahah i got a new phone a while back
_chaechae_1figures
i tried calling u but ended up having a conversation with an old lady :/
My mouth dropped open, and I had to fight back a laugh, imagining both Chaewon's and the old lady's confusion and surprise.
hwg_minjae_
im so sorry about that lol
_chaechae_1lmaooo its fine
whats your new number?
unless youd rather me talk to the old lady whenever i feel like msging u
It felt easy slipping back into casual conversations with Chaewon, the tension and nerves had melted away. It was as if we hadn't spent 3 years apart, and everything was how it used to be. The back-and-forth messaging, the friendly banter, the comfort in every message we shared. It was almost natural.
hwg_minjae_
nahhh thats too cruel for her
_chaechae_1
then send them digits boy
plss
I couldn't help it, and let out a laugh, the first genuine one in a while. It felt weird to laugh after spending the day basically moaning and sulking. I felt a lightness in my chest, and a small happiness filled in the emptiness that's been in there since this morning. My fingers typed out my new number and sent it through to Chaewon.
I watched the chat get delivered and seen and saw her start typing, but the bubbles disappeared after a few seconds. Hmm, I stared at the screen, waiting for her response, and was getting a bit antsy. What was this separation anxiety? Is it because I hadn't talked to her in so long, that I wanted to talk to her right away?
My fingers drummed along the floor as I stared at my phone, the screen dimming from the lack of activity. My phone suddenly lit up, showing my shocked face on the screen when I saw a familiar number was trying to FaceTime me. My breath got caught in my throat and I felt nervous all over again.
I scrambled up to my feet, wondering if I should pick up while laying down in bed or sitting at my desk pretending to be studying. In the end, I just stayed standing, trying to fix my messy hair and look decent for the camera. Before the call could end, I pressed the answer button and waited.
The screen was blank for a few seconds. Once the call connected, I was greeted with a warm, friendly smile, and the first thing that came to mind was how much I missed seeing it. "Minjae!" She greeted me excitedly.
"Hey," I replied, trying to match her smile and energy, but the nerves were still making my hands shake and heart beat faster. She was looking around the outdoors area she was in, with trees and branches surrounding her. Her face was lit up by the soft white light of her phone's front camera.
"Were you busy? I hope you didn't mind, I didn't feel like texting. It's just easier talking on the phone," she said, laughing a little bit.
"No, it's fine. I was just... hanging around, nothing special," I explained. I had moved to sit at the edge of my bed, facing the window. "What about you? Where are you?"
"You want to guess?"
"Hm..."
Chaewon giggled. "You're not going to guess, are you."
"All I can see is your face, you got to give me some hints."
"Okay, well, you can see that I'm outside," she explained.
"That doesn't help at all," I said.
She laughed. "I'll give you a hint. I think you know this place well."
"Is that it?"
"Yup," she said.
"Damn. You're making this really difficult," I replied.
"Maybe you need to pay more attention," she suggested. I can tell she was walking, as the camera bobbed with her movement. "I give up, my best guess was a parking lot but why would you be wandering around a parking lot."
"That's an insanely stupid guess, Minjae," she said, sounding amused.
"Whatever, a guess's a guess. So, where are you?" I asked, standing back up and walking over to my window, deciding to change my lighting for the camera.
"I'm outside," she replied simply.
"Yeah, no shit. Like I couldn't figure that out already." Chaewon laughed through the phone, "I'm at your school! I think I'm near the library?"
"Are you really? What for?" I asked.
"Ah, me and my roommate wanted to visit one of our friends that went here after we graduated," she explained, "but they decided to stay in the library to chill or something, so here I am, wandering around."
"So you thought you'd go explore my campus and bother me?"
"Sure, why not? I thought that maybe we could catch up, you know? It's been a while, and the club isn't exactly the best place for that," she replied.
I nodded, looking out my window, watching as the sun set behind the buildings of the university. "Yeah, I guess so. You're right," I said. After a bit of silence, Chaewon's walking slowed to a stop, and I heard a small thump, which I assumed was her sitting down.
"I'd really like to finish my tour of your school, but I don't know my way around. Can you show me around?" She asked.
"What do you want to see?"
"Anything, really. Just talk, and I'll follow along. Pretend that you're showing a group of people around." She had a smile in her voice. She took my silence as a cue to try to convince me further, "Come on, please, I'm lost anyways, at least help me find the library."
"Alright, fine, fine. I guess I'll give you a quick tour of my school." I smiled while I paced around my room. Chaewon smiled down at me from the screen.
"I'll be waiting. Come and find me!" Chaewon exclaimed, leaning in towards the camera. Her smile grew as her face became larger on my screen. "Before it gets dark. Come and find me," she repeated. The call ended.
I stared down at the darkened screen, a ghost of a smile lingering on my face. My hands were still shaking, and my heart was pounding, and it didn't stop the entire time. That was nice. We've spent the last few years without contact, and here she is, suddenly reentering my life as if no time had passed. Maybe we could really rekindle our friendship. Maybe we can go back to the way we used to be.
And maybe, this was what I needed. Life was better back then. I didn't have to deal with so many frustrating and confusing things. Things were a lot simpler, a lot more predictable. I didn't have to worry about the future. Everything was in the present, and in the present, Chaewon and I were happy together.
I just want to be happy again. That feeling that I get in my body, the one that makes my skin feel like it's buzzing and my heart is pumping blood faster, that's how I felt. The flashes of warmth that come and go when I sniff a pair of used underwear, that's what I was chasing. I don't know what the purpose of life is, and maybe I'm thinking stupid and irrational at the moment, but I just want to be happy forever.
With one glance at the blackened screen of my phone, I remembered what I had originally came into my room for. I let my head sink towards my chest and I dropped my arms to my side, feeling the energy leave my body. My hands were still shaking, and now the nervousness was coming back, but not because of Chaewon, this was something different.
It felt like defeat, and the disappointment in myself was setting in. My phone was in my hand, and with a single movement, I could be on my way to making things right with Haerin, and yet, here I was, stuck at an impasse, treating Haerin and Chaewon as if they were two sides battling it out for control over my attention. On paper, it felt like there was one definite choice to make.
Taking in the conversation we had just now, I can see Chaewon and I going back to being good friends, and the thought of that makes me overwhelmingly happy. Her presence in my life has already made me a lot happier. I would be closer to my goal for my life. But if that's the case, why do I have a lingering feeling of despair inside when I think of Haerin?
Thinking about her makes me feel like shit. Remembering what I did last night makes me feel like shit. Being reminded of what a shit-bag I am when I'm around her makes me feel like shit. But I can't imagine leaving an unclear image of me in her head. Would trying to clear things up make things any better anyways?
My head feels like a battlefield. It's not supposed to be this complicated. All I'm supposed to be is happy, and here I am, struggling to even find that. I'm torn between choosing to fix what's broken, or running away from the mess. I let out a defeated chuckle. Or am I just being dramatic? Maybe I just need a minute.
I'm overthinking, and the stress is taking a toll on me. If I keep on thinking about it, I'll just spiral and end up in a worse mental state. So, I pushed the thoughts of Haerin to the back of my mind, and took a deep breath. Finally making a decision to leave things as is, I shoved my phone into my pocket and grabbed my hoodie that was hanging off my chair, pulling it over my head.
I can't leave Chaewon waiting.
She was definitely a little lost. I was wandering near the library for a while before I spotted her walking around, phone in hand, her eyes trained upwards while her neck craned around her. When I called her name, she turned towards me and broke into a smile, a wave of relief washing over her features.
"Took you long enough," she teased. I stood in place and watched as she walked over. She had on a baggy white sweater that came down to her mid-thigh, and a pair of black tights, along with some comfortable-looking sneakers. Her brown hair was up in a high ponytail, the strands falling loosely down her back. She looked cozy and comfy. "I was starting to think you weren't going to come," she added.
"I wasn't going to leave you out here alone," I sighed, a smile tugging at the corners of my lips.
"Yeah, I know," Chaewon bluntly agreed. She chuckled while turning around and walking off. I trailed behind her, catching up quickly.
"So the library's just a few minutes away, you're not that far," I said, gesturing off to the left. She clapped her hand over her mouth to hold back her laugh, "I know where the library is. I'm not just going to walk around a place I don’t know without trying to remember my way back."
"Right, you just like to be a pain in the ass," I replied. Chaewon bumped her shoulder into me, smiling at the ground. "C'mon, I just wanted to get you out of your dorm and here." She waved her phone, indicating her call, "You were free, so it all worked out. Don't be a hard head about it."
"I'm not a hard head. You're a hard head," I muttered, a smirk pulling at my lips.
"Sure. Whatever makes you feel better." She looked over at me and stuck her tongue out, the corner of her mouth raised in a cocky smirk.
"Oh, fuck off," I said. I tried to put as much venom into it as I could, but it came out softer than intended. A giggle bubbled out from her mouth, and I could only look away. "So, where do you want to go?" I asked.
"Anywhere you feel like," she shrugged, looking up at the buildings surrounding us. "Show me your best spots."
"I'm not exactly the best tour guide, just so you know," I warned her, walking along the concrete path. She hummed, shoving her hands into her sweater's pockets. "As long as it's not boring, I'll be fine," she replied.
"And what if I told you my best spots were just parking lots, or empty classrooms, or something," I asked.
"Then I would think that you've gotten boring, Hwang Minjae," she quipped, her eyebrows raised, and a teasing smirk on her face. "And that would suck a whole lot."
I laughed, the sound reverberating against the buildings and filling the quiet evening air. Chaewon smiled as she walked along the sidewalk, her hair blowing gently behind her. There was a soft smile on her face, the kind that she had on all the time, the kind that's comforting and familiar. It was a nice feeling, walking around like this, like how it was in the past.
We were always comfortable with each other. The silences between us were never awkward or weird, it was like a break between conversations. And the conversations weren't forced, and the laughter wasn't fake. We didn't need to be talking for the time to pass by quickly, or for the moment to be fun. I felt my heart flutter. It's a good feeling. I'm glad to have this back.
"So, how have you been?" She asked. Her pace had slowed a bit, and her gaze was focused on the buildings around us rather than the path.
"Fine. You?" I asked, slowing my pace down a bit as well to match hers.
"I asked first, so you answer," she replied. She glanced over at me and gave me a cheeky smile.
"There's not much to say. I've just been around, you know? School, work, friends."
"That's it?"
"Yeah," I shrugged. "My life isn't that exciting."
"Hm," she hummed, pursing her lips together, "that's too bad. I was hoping you would have a cool story to tell me, like you got kidnapped by a drug cartel or something, or you became a secret agent, or you found out you had superpowers. Something fun and crazy."
"Be realistic," I chided, laughing, "I wouldn't survive being a spy, and drugs aren't really my thing, and superpowers sound exhausting."
"Well, the real world is a bit dull, huh." Chaewon kicked at a pebble on the ground, the little stone skipping away from us. I shrugged. "What about you, then? How have you been?"
"The same, really. School, work, and friends. That's it," she replied.
"Then you can't complain about my boring life if yours is the same," I teased. Chaewon's eyes met mine for a second, and her expression was unreadable, her mouth was pursed in a line and her eyes were looking at me with a look I can't pinpoint. Then, the corner of her mouth quivered upwards, and the softness was back in her features.
"Guess we both need to live a little, huh," she suggested, looking up at the building we had just passed.
"Sure, why not," I nodded. Chaewon laughed, a soft sound that floated into the air. Her hand bumped into mine, and she glanced over, a smile on her face. Her hand was cold, and her fingers were slender. She looked down at them, her expression unreadable once again, before pulling away and crossing her arms.
After letting a moment of silence pass by, Chaewon cleared her throat and looked back over to me, "There's no way our lives are that boring that we can't find anything to talk about."
"Maybe," I said, stuffing my hands into my hoodie's pockets, "but it's been a while since we've seen each other, so there's bound to be something, right?"
"That's true," Chaewon agreed, "Let's just throw out questions until something good comes out."
"Sounds like a plan."
"Alright, hm," Chaewon hummed, staring at the ground and kicking at another rock. She picked up her pace, walking ahead a few steps. Then, she stopped in place, her body pivoting on her foot so that she was facing me. "Have you gotten any taller?"
"What kind of question is that?" I asked, incredulous. Chaewon's lips tugged upwards, "It's a genuine question."
"Of course I've gotten taller," I scoffed, walking past her, "It's been three years."
"Good thing we got that out of the way, it was bothering me," she said, following closely behind. I gave her a look and shook my head. "Alright, you're next," she urged, pushing her palms into my back.
"Okay, okay," I relented, laughing, "Hm. How was adjusting to a new city when you moved?"
"Starting with a strong question, okay," Chaewon let out a huff and laughed, "You're that curious?"
"I've been wondering for years," I admitted, "so yeah." Chaewon nodded, her eyes looking upwards as she thought about her answer. After a moment, she shrugged and said, "Moving was stressful, obviously, but it wasn't that bad. It was a fresh start."
"A fresh start, huh," I echoed. Noticing the blunt end to her answer, I egged her on, "Is that it?"
"Ah, um, I guess I'm sugarcoating it a little bit. I'd be lying if I didn't say I wished I didn't move in the first place," Chaewon sheepishly said, her face heating up slightly. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and I watched the gesture intently, a warm feeling building in my stomach. "It was nice to try out a new city, but it was hard to leave. I had a good group of friends, and then I had to move, and suddenly none of those friends were near me anymore. It was lonely for a while," she explained.
"Lonely," I repeated. At our old high school, I can probably confidently say that Chaewon was one of those popular kids. The well-liked and nice ones, not those annoying, arrogant types. She had a big circle of friends, and everyone liked her. It made me all the more blessed and lucky when we started going out.
"No need to rub it," she mused.
"Wait, no, I wasn't trying to," I stammered, holding my hands up defensively, "Sorry."
"Relax," Chaewon laughed, pushing at my side. Her laugh was loud, and her face was flushed, "It's fine, Minjae, I know you didn't mean it like that. But yeah, it was really hard making new friends. That school already had their defined friend groups, and I couldn't slide in anywhere. I mean, luckily, I found my now roommate and her friends, but it was a struggle."
"That's good you were able to make new friends, at least. I'm glad."
"Yeah, it's nice. I just wish I was able to stay in touch with everyone. I wonder how Yena, or Eunbi is doing. Everyone else too. I got lucky I found you after all this time," Chaewon said, a wistful look in her eye. She turned her gaze back towards me and smiled, "My turn now, yeah?"
I nodded, my eyes focused on her.
"Um, let's see. I noticed you had some new friends back at the club. Are they friends from here?" Chaewon asked.
"Most of them, yeah," I replied, nodding.
"How'd you meet them?"
"Isn't that two questions in a row?" I teased.
"You didn't let me finish," Chaewon whined, pouting, "Answer the question."
"Alright, alright," I laughed, raising my hands up, "Well, most of them are friends of friends. You remember Pyo Haechan, back from high school? Well, he introduced me to a friend of his, who introduced me to friends of his, who introduced me to friends of theirs. You get the idea. They called our group the 'Goofy Goobers'," I chuckled.
"Goobers," Chaewon mused, "That's a fun name."
"Yeah, it's great," I agreed. "They're good people. It's fun to hang out with them. I feel comfortable."
"You're good at making friends, as always. That's good," she commented.
"Yeah," I smiled. A pause. Then, a moment later, I added, "And you're good at making friends as always, too."
Chaewon let out a short laugh, "Yeah, I guess." She smiled at me and continued walking, the pace in her steps slightly faster. "Your girlfriend, she's nice," Chaewon said.
"My what?"
"Your girlfriend," she repeated, her face contorted into a frown.
"Nakyung? No, we're friends," I laughed, waving my hands. It was Chaewon's turn to seem confused, "No, I know that. I meant the tall, pretty one."
Pretty sure she was referring to Tzuyu, but I had to correct her, "Wait no, I'm not dating anyone, Chaewon."
"Oh," she breathed out. Her brows were furrowed together, and she was biting the inside of her cheek. "Wait, so you're not seeing anyone, at all?" Once again, Haerin crept into the forefront of my mind, her neutral expression and soft voice. Her small, subtle gestures and cute little habits. But for some odd and unknown reason, I didn't want to tell Chaewon.
"Not seeing anyone," I confirmed, stuffing my hands into my jacket's pockets, "Too busy with school."
"Hm, yeah. Makes sense. Busy and stuff," she mumbled, looking away. I couldn't pinpoint her expression, but her tone was off. Already on the topic of love, I asked her, "How about you? Seeing anyone?"
She let out a short laugh, smiling softly, "Nope. Not seeing anyone right now."
"Right now?" I asked.
"Well, a little while ago, yeah. Senior year, it didn't last long. Just two months," she said. I raised an eyebrow, a silent 'Oh, really?' I wasn't jealous, just surprised is all. We had grown apart by then. I can't control what happened when we were separated.
"You should've told me. I could've been your shoulder to cry on, or whatever," I said, a smirk tugging at my lips. Another gentle shove against my side, and I laughed, a short wheeze. "That would've been nice." She laughed with me, her eyes closed, her cheeks pulled into a smile.
We kept walking around, the sun had set and the stars were starting to poke through the darkening sky. Our steps were slow, and the conversations flowed easily. There was a light chill in the air, and a gust of wind would blow by every now and then. It was nice.
Chaewon had started telling me a story about her high school graduation, and I was listening, really, but there was something that distracted me. I wasn't sure what. Maybe it was her face, or her laugh, or the way her hair flew around, or maybe it was just her. Whatever it was, it distracted me, and it was all I could focus on.
I know I said to myself I was over her, and I had been telling myself that all these years, but being here with her now, everything was resurfacing. How could it not? She's basically a walking ball of nostalgia. It's like no time has passed, and it's like she's never left. Everything feels familiar, like a comfortable routine, like we haven't skipped a beat.
I stared at her while she rambled. I wanted to reach out and remind myself of how her hands felt against mine. Has her hands grown or shrunk since the last time we've touched? Has she always had that faint dimple in her cheek, or is that new? How have I never noticed it before? It was cute. It also puts into perspective how long it's been. I wonder, what is her story since we've been apart? Who has she been, and what has she done? I couldn't put my finger on it, but the Chaewon before me is more mature, and more refined.
She has her moments where she's still the girl I know. When she pouts or whines or teases me. Those moments make my heart flutter. They were the little things I miss, and the little things I've grown to adore. The way her lips curled and parted, and the way her words rolled out effortlessly. The way her eyes were shining, and the way her arms would swing as she talked. The way her nose scrunched when she smiled. Everything about her, I adored.
"Are you even listening to me, Minjae?" Chaewon's voice snapped me out of my trance, and I blinked, realizing we had stopped walking.
"I am," I answered, but the tone of my voice had her frowning. She placed her hands on her hips, her lips pursed into a pout.
"I'm kidding, I'm kidding," I chuckled, raising my hands defensively. "I'm sorry. I got a little lost in thought. What were you saying?"
"Nothing, forget about it. It wasn't that good of a story anyways," Chaewon mumbled, shrugging. She started walking again, her steps quicker than before. I followed her, keeping my pace the same. "Your campus is really pretty by the way. You guys have a lot of trees. And open areas. And the buildings are all fancy," she remarked, staring up at a large building.
"Thanks, I think. I don't think about it much," I replied. "Maybe, I'll go to your campus sometime and you can give me a tour."
"Sure, why not," Chaewon nodded. Her eyes had perked up, and she looked excited, "Oh! Actually, my roommate and I are going to a Halloween party at this house near our campus. If you're willing to drive, you can come and I'll give you that tour."
I sucked in a breath, "About an hour drive for a party? I wish I could make it, but I have work on Halloween. I'm sorry."
"I see," she muttered. A silence. I kicked at the floor, feeling slightly bad. "It's fine, one day, I guess."
"I'll try my best," I reassured her.
"You better, or I'll drive up here myself and drag you back," Chaewon threatened. Her smile betrayed her threatening tone, and I laughed, "Sounds like a plan."
A comfortable silence had fallen between us, and before we knew it, we'd somehow circled around to the library again. Coincidentally, Chaewon recognized two girls that were walking out of the library together and sped up to catch up to them. "Yah, Sakura!" She called out a name, and one of the girls turned her head, her face lighting up.
"Chaewon!" She yelled back. The two girls waved and hurried to meet us halfway. As we got closer, I realized I recognized the other one. Kazuha Nakamura, from my biology class. I met eyes with her, and she nodded, giving me a smile. She and the girl named Sakura caught up with us.
Sakura was about the same height as Chaewon, but had a slim build and long black hair. She was Japanese, her accent thick when she greeted me.
"Are we about to leave?" Chaewon asked.
"I was just about to text you to come back. We should probably head home now if we want enough sleep for class tomorrow," Sakura replied.
Chaewon looked back, her eyes showing a bit of disappointment, "Do we have to leave?"
"Yes, we have to," Sakura answered. She glanced over at me and bowed her head, "Nice to meet you. I'm Sakura Miyawaki! I’m Chaewon's roommate."
"Ah, nice to meet you too. I'm Hwang Minjae," I replied, bowing my head. For a brief moment, I saw a flicker of surprise and recognition in her eyes, but it was gone a second later, her eyes warm again. "Thank you for keeping her company while we were relaxing. We can only tolerate her for so long," Sakura teased, laughing.
"Hey," Chaewon huffed. We shared a look and smiled. "Anytime, I'm happy to do so,” I replied.
"Thank you," Sakura bowed her head.
Kazuha cleared her throat, her hands clasped together. "Should we head back now, Sakura and Chaewon?" She asked, a soft smile on her lips as her eyes drifted towards me. "I'm sorry to ask, but do we have biology with Professor Kim together?"
"Um, yeah," I answered, "I was afraid to ask myself. I thought I recognized you from somewhere."
Kazuha laughed, a small snort coming from her, "Ah, I understand. My name's Kazuha Nakamura." I remembered we never formally met, the only way I knew her name was from peeking at her quiz paper that one day, so I played it off like I didn't already know. "It's nice to meet you, Kazuha."
"It's nice to meet you too. Well, thank you for helping us out today," Kazuha bowed. She turned back towards Chaewon and Sakura, "Shall I walk you two to your car now?"
Sakura nodded her head, "If you don't mind." Chaewon had her bottom lip jutted out, but didn't argue. She was pouting and had her arms crossed. Kazuha and Sakura began walking off, "I'll see you in class tomorrow!"
Before they got too far away, Chaewon turned to face me. Her voice low and soft, she said, "It's really good to see you again, Minjae." Her face was serious, and I couldn't tell if the pink dusting her cheeks was real or imagined. I felt a lump in my throat. "You too, Chaewon. It was nice seeing you. Really nice," I replied. She nodded and turned, running off after the other two girls.
"Bye," she called out, waving at me.
I stood there and waved until she stopped looking. I was too self-absorbed in my feelings to realize late that they were walking in the same direction of the Student Village. I decided to stay in place, finding it a little embarrassing following them all the way back. Instead, I sat at one of the benches nearby, staring at the library. My thoughts were consumed by her.
"Don't get too comfortable."
I looked around, my smile dropping. Finding nothing, I leaned back into the bench and let out a sigh. "I know," I muttered. "I know."
There was no reply.
Another chapter! My Haerin lovers, trust in me, I'm not discarding her character! I promise this slow build-up will be worth it! Hmm, I don't really have much to say here. I just hope you guys are enjoying this story as much as I'm enjoying writing it! -PI