freeuse jiyu

It was a simple rule. 

“You can use me whenever you want. No need to ask. If you need me, do it.”

Jiyu pronounced those words so casually while you were on the couch watching a movie. You weren’t really sitting, rather draped over each other to fill the whole frame of the furniture. Her face seemed serious but by her tone you’d guess she was teasing you.

“Whenever I want?” you asked.

“Whenever you need,” she corrected you, eyes still on the screen.

You hummed, thinking about the difference in your phrase.

“But I always need it,” you told her, poking her back with your finger. 

Jiyu giggled and turned around to push your hand away. “I trust you can behave yourself,” she said. “And I wouldn’t mind if it was you.”

You let the movie play over your silence. You thought about what you’d do with her—to her. You weren’t so sure about this deal. Your thoughts drifted, uninvited, toward what “use me” could mean. Hands. Mouth. There’s a light heat radiating from your cheeks. You were the one to always ask permission even if your girlfriend was content with any action you took. It wasn’t a bad idea.

“If that’s the case,” you said, “it should be the same for you too. Let’s make it equal.”

“That sounds good,” Jiyu said and slapped your arm. “But I’m quite needy you know?”

“You say it like it’s a bad thing.”

“You’ll definitely complain when I’ll be bothering your work,” she said. “You did, last time.”

“I was in a work meeting, Jiyu. You could have waited until it was over.”

“Who knew it was going to end? You were there forever.”

“It ended like ten minutes after you were done.”

“Well I would rather they see it. What if you got a work wife or something?”

“You know I wouldn’t do that.”

Jiyu laughs and jokingly pushed you. “I know.”

A week passed since that conversation and you hadn’t thought about it at all. But today, today you were tired. Your job has been torturing you for days to complete that last minute project. You had to bring work home to make sure you could make the deadline. You brought the laptop home every night. You answered messages during dinner. By the time you finally closed the laptop each night she was already asleep.

You missed her.

You talked to her, sure, but your hands were starting to forget her. You needed her.

Jiyu was curled on the same couch you made that deal. She had been curled on it for like an hour now, scrolling her phone and whatnot. She hadn’t spoken until she got home too. You guessed she was tired as well. Well, at least you weren’t going to bother her.

You sat down on the other side of the couch and looked at her. Her short bob, how her hair fell over her face. The shape of her back. Her eyes. Gosh, she was gorgeous.

You didn’t say anything. You reached out, and pulled her into your lap with one pull.

She was so light it was almost unfair. She couldn’t fight back at all.

One tug and she was there. You arranged her body the way you always did. Her back against your chest, your arms locked around her tummy, chin resting on the top of her head. She made a small, startled sound at the sudden movement then went still when she realized what you were doing.

Her body felt warm. Her waist was so tiny, you could probably fit in your hand. But she was enough, maybe too much. You hugged her and you were already feeling better.

“Sorry, I need to use you real quick,” you murmured and nestled your nose into her hair. You could smell her conditioner. It smelled exactly like how she looked, sweet and fruity. “You’re all mine now.”

Jiyu loosened her body and made herself more comfortable. She closed her eyes and held onto your arm.

“Tough day at work?” she asked.

“You know,” you growled and squeezed her. 

Jiyu laughed. “Well, is it over? I’m getting tired of sharing you with your boss.”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s done,” you said. “You don’t know how much I’ve missed you!”

“Okay, okay, don’t worry now.” Her small fingers stroked your wrist. “Just keep holding me. I’m not going anywhere.”

Jiyu scooted around and turned her face to you. She hooked one of her legs loosely over yours and buried her face in your chest. You could feel her soft breathes on you. Every few minutes she would stir again, to make herself even closer to you as if it still wasn’t enough. She wanted to melt into you.

You kept your hand moving behind her shoulder blades. While the other hand was closer to her waist, feeling the thin fabric over her skin. 

“Did you get softer or am I imagining things?” she asked.

“It must be the fast food.”

“No, no, you’re just… it’s been a long time.”
“I think you’re smaller.”

“Okay, mine was a compliment, you’re supposed to say something nice in return.”

“Well it’s nice. You’re very cute.”

“Huh, whatever.”

After the length of almost three Delulu Packs you started feeling some dryness in your throat. 

Carefully, you turned to the living room, trying not to wake her up. You freed yourself from one arm and tried to push yourself up to detangle yourself from her legs. One foot touched the ground and you were ready to stand up.

Jiyu’s hand shot out and caught you.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

She wasn’t asleep at all. 

You froze. Why did she sound so authoritative? “I’m getting some water. I’ll be back.”

Her hand was still clutching your shirt. She used it to pull herself up until she was at the same level to look at you. There was a big imprint on her cheek, it looked like the collar of your hoodie, and her hair was a mess on one side.