Two hearts and a thousand stars

“You’ve never seen the stars?” Jiyu asked, her eyes widening, astounded.

You shrugged. “I did notice some white dots at night, but I had never seen a constellation,” you admitted.

“You’ve never heard of Ursa Major?”

“I’d heard about them, but I’d never seen them with my own eyes,” you replied, scratching the back of your neck. From the tone of her voice, it sounded like you’d missed an essential part of the experience of life.

“Well, you have to see them!”

“Do I?”

“Wha—yes, of course!” Jiyu replied, almost offended at your doubt. “They are so beautiful!”

You scratched your head. To be quite honest, you weren't really interested, but her excitement was contagious. Her eyes were beaming, and you had a very big soft spot for her at that point, so you had to agree.

“Okay,” you sighed, completely swayed by her irresistible charm. “Tell me how.”

There came that smile that you loved—the prize for your continuous trips to the farm. “Yes! Okay, well, the problem is that you live in the city.”

“Right. The light pollution.”

“There’s a spot after our farm where I used to go when I was little; you’ll see them so well.”

“Is it very far?”

“No, we can walk there.”

“Okay, how long is the walk? Because I know you underestimate it.”

“About half an hour,” she said dismissively, leaning back in the chair to think about the path.

“Jiyu, that’s far.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Yes, it is—that’s a bike ride distance, not a walk. I don’t know, it’s not worth it,” you complained.

“You take twenty minutes by bike to get here!” Jiyu shot back and crossed her arms.

“To see you, it’s worth it,” you said.

Your brain couldn’t even check the words before they left your mouth. You realized it a bit too late. The silence that followed was embarrassing and suffocating. Jiyu’s mouth opened slightly, but no sound came out. She looked away, staring outside the window, pretending you weren’t there. You could feel the heat crawling up your neck and your ears reddening.

“...”

“...”

You cleared your throat, still not looking at her. “Okay, I’ll do it.”

“Good!” Jiyu said, both happy that you had agreed to the mission and that you were breaking the awkward pause. She stepped forward and shot a series of frantic pats onto your back. “We could sleep there. Have you ever slept on the grass?”

“Nope,” you said. “I have a bed.”

“Gosh, you haven’t done anything at all,” she teased. “You’ve never camped anywhere?”

“No.”

“No Boy Scouts?”

“No.”

“You’re like a housecat.”

“Unfortunately.”

“Okay, so I think I have a sleeping bag, but the grass is really soft. I don’t think we need that.”

“What about the bugs?” you asked.

“Well, just cover yourself in bug spray and it will be fine,” she replied. “We’ll lay some towels and it’ll be good.”

“Alright, whatever you say, boss.”

Jiyu pushed your shoulder. “Come on, it will be fun! You should sound more excited.”

“Just scared about bugs.”

You didn’t want to admit it, but the thought of spending the night by Jiyu’s side was making your heart do spins and somersaults inside your ribcage. You were already thinking about all the possible outfits you had in your wardrobe—which were three—and how you’d act next to her. It was unnerving.

You talked with her a little more, and the time to go home came. You took a tour of the garden to greet Grandma like you always did and hopped on your bike. You spent about an hour trying to match different pants and shirts and concluded that fancy clothes were the wrong choice. You were supposed to sleep there, right? You shouldn’t be trying too hard; you should be casual.

Alright, some comfy pants, a t-shirt, and an open dress shirt would be absolutely fine. It was going to be windy anyway. Snacks, towels, and drinks were already in your bag. You wanted to be extra careful and also brought a bunch of sprays and bug incense.

When you arrived there, Jiyu was waiting for you outside the porch. The sunset had just started, and its light hit Jiyu’s skin with a golden ray. She was wearing a casual black shirt with long sleeves. It didn't seem like she had tried, but she didn't need to. She looked amazing regardless. Your heart was racing already. You had to pull yourself together.

Jiyu turned around and, at the sight of you, her face surrendered to a big, toothy smile. Oh, you were so weak for her.

“Jiyu! I’m here,” you called to her.

“Took you long enough, mister.”

“Sorry, the traffic,” you said as you propped your bike against the wall of the house.

“You cycled here.”

“Uhhh, yeah.”

Jiyu slapped your arm. “You idiot.”

“Okay, okay, sorry I’m late. I was getting some food.”

Jiyu’s tone changed immediately. “You did?”

“Yeah,” you said and opened your bag to show its contents. “Some drinks and some snacks.”

“Oh, dude, you’re awesome!”

“Shall we go?”

“Yes!”

The walk took longer than twenty minutes. You knew it would. Every five minutes you’d stop at the weird noises of nature around you. To you, it seemed like a creepy warning to turn around, but to Jiyu, it was just the wind.

“Hey, what’s that?” you asked, pointing at a dark spot moving around.

“It’s a rat.”

“Wait, what?”

“Mickey Mouse. It’s a mouse, but bigger.”

“No, I get that, but why is it here?”

“The weird kid of our neighbor caught one in the city and freed it here.”

“What if it had diseases?”

“It’s been here for like five years now and we’re fine, so I think it was healthy,” Jiyu said casually. “Actually, it’s pretty fat.”

As you moved away from the house, the scenery changed tremendously. The sky assumed an orange glow around the setting sun while the rest became a purplish blue. It was dark now and you couldn't see Jiyu as well as before, though her silhouette with the short hair was unmistakably her.

The wind was soft. It moved the strands of grass and her hair. It was hypnotizing—the way it hid and revealed her beautiful features. The lights of the houses were still on and were popping up like yellow dots as the natural light left faster and faster. The way they surrounded her looked almost like a movie, but you had never seen a frame as pretty as that one.

Jiyu led the way. Her movements were confident even in the dark. She moved like she was part of the wind. She didn't look down at her feet once. There was only you two now. You and the wind.

“I used to come out here when my parents were arguing about the harvest,” she said softly, her voice trailing off into the hiss of the breeze. “It wasn't really their fault,” she continued. “There are good years and tough years; it’s just how it is out here.”

You didn't want to pretend you understood what she was talking about. You listened to her—that was all you could do.

“I’d throw some food in my bag, get a flashlight, and run away. They knew everyone, so they weren't really scared. I felt like an explorer; everything was new to me.”

“Weren't you scared?” you asked.

“Of what? The trees? They’re much more behaved than people,” she laughed softly. “You know those trees over there?” she pointed to your left. You looked and nodded. “I used to climb them and lie down. It was really relaxing.”

“Did you always hang out here?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you… ever hang out with your friends?” you asked.

“I did, but…” Jiyu thought for a moment. “I didn't really fit in. They were really nice, actually. I was never bullied or anything, but I felt they were always going so fast.”

“Mmh, I understand what you’re saying,” you hummed. “City life is way too hectic.”

Jiyu slowed her pace. There was no pity nor patronizing attempt in your words. People usually looked at her as if she were a person of the past, an unfortunate person who had no idea what real life was like. An uneducated stranger.

“Actually, that’s what Grandma said about you as well.”

“Me?” you asked and stopped walking, pointing to your chest. “What did I do?”

Jiyu shook her hands and laughed. “No, it’s not bad, nothing like that. It’s just that you did things very fast.”

“Mmh, did I?”

“Yeah, and all the big words you said about university and technology confused her.”

You chuckled. “Well, I guess I did confuse her.”

“But it’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

You weren't nervous anymore. You didn't care about how you looked anymore, mostly because it was dark and she wouldn't see you anyway, but also because she was there and she made you feel at ease. That was the effect she had on you. You listened to her describe the paths she used to follow as a kid and all her past experiences.

“You’re so slow,” Jiyu said teasingly.

“I’m watching where I’m going,” you shot back. 

Jiyu turned around with a twirl. “You’re lifting your feet too high, just trust where you’re going, it’s not—”

Before she could finish her sentence, your sneaker caught an exposed root. You waved your arms in the air, trying to grasp at something, and tumbled over. You landed on the dry grass and hit your face against the dirt.

The bag decided to slide down your neck and fall on your head with all its contents inside.

You groan. There’s damp soil all over your skin. “Shit.”

You hear Jiyu’s footsteps come towards you. You expected a sympathetic hand on your shoulder or some words of worry, but instead, she started laughing at you. You pushed yourself up and brushed the dirty of your cheek just to see her pointing a mocking finger at you.

“Are you laughing at me?” you demanded. “I could have died.”

“Oh, come on,” she wheezed. “Don’t be that tragic.”

You looked down at your sleeve. There were dark streaks of dirt on your shirt around your elbows. What great luck you had. It was one of your new shirts as well. You spent such a long time picking this one out. 

“Does it actually hurt?” Jiyu asked with a wide grin.

“No,” you grumbled. “Not really.”

Jiyu tilted her head. “So no need for me to kiss it better?”

“Actually, now that I think about it, it hurts so much,” you said. “It’s unbearable. I couldn’t tell at first because of the shock.”

“Oh, you’re perfectly fine,” she laughed, rolling her eyes. 

“But my feelings are hurt,” you insisted. “You were laughing at me.”

Jiyu chuckled, letting her expression soften. “Okay, okay, poor baby.” 

She came closer and hugged you. It was brief, but it left your skin tingling. As she pulled away, she adjusted the strap of your bag and gave you a firm pat on the back.

“Do you feel better now?”

You cleared your throat. “Yes. Much better.”

After a long but calming walk, you reached the summit of the ridge. The grass was soft like a carpet, just as she had said. After putting the lamp to the side, Jiyu dropped down immediately, hands behind her head, staring upward. For a moment, you hesitated, looking at the bag and at the towels you had brought, but decided to follow her example instead and settled beside her.

There was a full moon that night, and it made her skin look like marble. You couldn't help but look at Jiyu’s face. Under every different light, it was pretty in a different way.

“You know you’re supposed to look at the sky,” Jiyu said suddenly.

“Oh. Sorry,” you said briefly and turned to the sky. You looked back for an instant to see her rosy cheeks.

You finally saw them, and your breath was taken away. The stars. They weren't just a few dots. The darkness was shimmering with light. They stretched across the entire visible horizon, reaching far into the trees and distant landscapes.

“Wow,” you mumbled quietly.

“That’s the Great Bear,” Jiyu said, pointing a finger toward a cluster of light. “You see that?”

“No, not really.”

“Give me your hand.”

You got up and sat closer to her. Jiyu adjusted the lantern so she could see your palm. With her index finger, she drew the constellation on your hand. You looked back up and searched. She pointed to it and you finally noticed.

“It looks like a ladle,” she said.

“Oh, it does.”

“That’s how I remembered it, actually,” she admitted. “I had a book about constellations, but when I was little, I wasn't really into reading the words and instead just looked at the pictures.”

“I still do that,” you said, and she laughed.

“Orion—it looks like an archer,” she continued, and drew it on your hand again.

“This one is complex.”

“It really is. But it should be easier to spot.”

“Oh, I can see that.”

Jiyu smiled; she was happy to share her interest with someone who listened with genuine interest.

“I actually know a couple of things about it.”

“Ohhh, really?” Jiyu said, impressed.

“Legend has it that Orion had fallen in love with a princess. She had something to do with the stars. I think her father was the sky.”

“Mmmh.”

“Orion fell madly in love with her. But he was mortal. The princess would come down from the sky at night and talk with him. Each day, right after sunset and when the morning came, she would disappear.”

“Oh, so she liked him?”

“Very much so, but she was like a goddess, right? And he was just mortal. So it really angered her father.”

You looked at the stars, because if you looked at Jiyu, you’d just get distracted by her eyes.

“He tried to keep her away from him and warned Orion, but he would write letters and shoot them into the sky with his bow.”

“All the way to space?”

“Yeah, he had a very strong bow.”

Jiyu laughed. “Okay.”

“And one time, he made a deal with a witch. He got this big bird and let it fly to the sky while hanging from its feet so he could reach the princess.”

“And then?”

“And then, since he wanted it so bad and the dad hated him, the father cursed him and made him into a constellation. Because if he wanted to reach the stars so badly, he made him a star.”

“Wow,” Jiyu said. “Which culture is that from?”

“I made it up,” you said plainly.

“Be for real.”

“No, really, I just made it up. I wanted to say something cool. You seem to know everything, and I didn't have anything to say.”

“Oh, come on!” Jiyu groaned and shoved your shoulder. “You’re terrible! I was actually really getting into it.”

Deep down, Jiyu appreciated your attempt. You were participating in her life and were actually interested in what she was saying.

“Hey, it’s not a bad story. It could very well be a real story.”

“Whatever you say.”

Her words made you realize something. You had always been chasing that career, those grades, that future that they always told you about. Even when you went out with your friends, it was always bars and events; you never really sat still with them.

After a long time talking and eating snacks, you both got pretty sleepy. It was already very late. You checked your phone. Your eyes were burning, and she was feeling tired. You put out the towels and lied down.

You looked over at Jiyu. She was still lying on her back, but her shoulders were hunched up toward her ears, and she was hugging herself. Every few seconds, a tremor would shake her body.

“Jiyu,” you said softly. “You’re trembling.”

She let out a shaky laugh. “I’m fine,” she lied. “I can take it. I’m used to it.”

“You don’t seem so,” you replied.

She looked at you, a stray lock of hair blowing across her face. She looked smaller than she ever had when you were walking and talking. You hesitated. Maybe she didn't mind your presence. You thought about it—should you do it?

You could lose her right then, or your relationship could become deeper than it ever had been. You swallowed the lump in your throat and decided to risk it.

“Come closer then,” you said. “I’ll keep you warm.”

Jiyu was somewhat shocked by your words, but deep inside, she wanted it too. She stopped being strong and didn't need a second invitation. She tucked herself into your side, her head lying close to your shoulder. She still wasn't brave enough to hug you, but she wanted to be as close as possible.

You moved slowly, hesitantly, to test her reaction. Your arm hovered over her. She didn't say anything, and you lowered it onto her. You wrapped your arm around her and pulled her in until there wasn't a single gap between the two of you.

As you pulled her in, the world closed down to the small patch of grass beneath your bodies. Every other sound washed away, and you could only hear her breath brushing against you.

“Better?” you whispered.

“Still cold,” she murmured, but she smiled into your neck.

You rested your chin on the top of her head. Up close, she smelled like grass and sunshine, but there was definitely the scent of her conditioner mixed with it. Without really thinking about it, your hand found its way to her hair. You began to stroke it, tracing lines from the crown down to the nape of her neck.

You stopped for a second. What were you doing? You weren't at that stage yet. Did you do too much?

“Don’t stop,” you heard. You leaned down to make sure you had actually heard it.

Jiyu’s cheeks were red and she was desperately clinging to you. “Don’t stop,” she said again.

So you didn't. You put your hand back on her head and petted her. Jiyu sighed happily like a cat on your lap. You kept up the slow, steady motion of your hand in her hair. Jiyu’s grip on your shirt loosened as she fell asleep. She cuddled into you, and you did too.

She didn't need to be strong that night. She felt a wave of relief wash over her. She felt safe in your arms—enough to let you bear her weight, knowing you wouldn't let her fall. Your eyes grew heavy, and as you started to fall asleep, the last thing you saw was Jiyu’s smile against your chest.