Epicureanism

“The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return”

— Christian, Moulin Rouge! (2001)

It only started at noticing, noticing how she reacts to things, how she talk to other people, how she really cared when it mattered most. It was supposed to be a one-time thing, the noticing. But he didn't expect it would last as long as he expected it to be.

Winter, Winter, Winter.

He didn’t like the thought, the thought that he's slowly liking it, liking everything about her, just hearing her name is enough to make his head turn.

It's not love at first sight, right?

Right.

It's wrong, so wrong, he thought.

Winter was an acquaintance from a friend group, yet they never had that much interaction. He only got to talk to her when he, and also her friends were playing, how she hated the goofy-ass in-game name he used, how she blamed him from mistakes that wasn't even his fault because the username sucked, how she was quickly infuriated by things, he loved that trait of hers.

He simply loved everything he notices about her, why?

She wasn’t the kind to need attention.

And yet, somehow, she had all of his.

He was the kind of guy to write things down because he forgets easily, but why can't he forget when it comes to her?

He didn't like writing, but there were times, were he wrote everything, his thoughts, his feelings, what he doesn't like, what he loves.

But this time.

What he wrote was poetry.

Entropy

Entropy is not proportional to time.

And yet,

It is the arrow of time.

Entropy is a measure of disorder,

For that is the inevitable fate of the universe.

Like a closed system suddenly disturbed,

my careful equilibrium broke without warning.

What once was quiet symmetry

became a scatter of restless thoughts.

I had believed myself constant,

a well-ordered equation,

predictable as falling bodies,

under the same tired gravity.

But she, she arrived like a fluctuation,

no theory had prepared me for,

a small disturbance, perhaps,

yet enough to rearrange my universe.

Although the laws insist

that disorder must increase,

I cannot decide,

if losing my order to her,

is decay,

or a strange kind of creation.

"Fuck"

He closed the note and lit a cigarette.

The flame flared briefly in the dim light before settling into a steady burn, the paper catching with a quiet crackle. He took a slow drag, exhaling away from the room, letting the smoke drift out and thin into nothing.

“She really is a piece of work.” Still in disbelief at how someone could be like that.

Effortless when she talked, sharp without trying, It was starting to sink in a little too easily now, how his attention kept going back to her without permission.

And he's afraid it's getting worse as time passes, how he really didn't mind it now.

"This fucker, why her of all people?" A best friend that is also Winter's friend asked, clearly dumbfounded by the look of his face.

"I knew you were going to that, I understand the confusion. I didn't know how either, I only noticed her once, and then twice, and then thrice, up until now, but not in my whole life have I ever stalked her to clear things up. I just never knew what came to me, I noticed things about her that I really liked, that I came to appreciate. I hated the thought, but I fucking loved the feeling, the feeling of liking someone, liking her." He replied.

"Haven't you noticed? I'm sure you noticed, she's already talking to someone else." His shithole of a bestfriend replied, carefully suppressing a not-so-supressed laugh.

"I never even wanted her to notice me, I just want to like her, to admire her even without talking to her, or even going out with her. I know she's talking to someone, but I don't think there's something about them. I respect her, I don't want to ruin things about us, because I know for sure she also thinks of me as a friend even without much interaction."

"If you say so, I got your back." His friend reassured, knowing him for years, he knew how the guy acted. And yet, this was the only time, the only time he acted this way. From a woman at that.

Winter, Winter had a special hatred towards the smell of cigarettes.

"Ugh, I swear this guy outsourced his brain to his backside and forgot to ask for it back." Muttering under her breath, she marched to the window and slammed it shut, as if that alone could keep the smoke, and her neighbor’s questionable life choices out.

And then her phone vibrates, receiving a message and then checked the group chat for notifications

Her phone vibrated. A message, then another. She glanced down and opened the group chat, where the notifications were already piling up.

let's hang out, guys!

where?

Rain's house is free xD

say less

Rain, huh? Now that she thought about it, they’d barely talked. Just small, passing conversations. He never really opened up, not like the others. Always there, but somehow just out of reach.

She closed the group chat, and then saw another notification, a message from him.

u awake?

as of now, yes

oh great, wanna play?

maybe tomorrow, I'll go to sleep, exams tom

goodluck!

Winter set her phone aside and sank into her bed. There wasn’t anything there—nothing hidden, nothing waiting to be uncovered.

He was just a friend. That was all he had ever been to her, all she had ever allowed him to be.

Their friends could tease all they wanted, twist small moments into something bigger, but she never bought into it.

There was no “almost,” no “what if."

Just friendship, clear, defined, and exactly where it would stay.

"What the fuck are you guys doing in front of my house?" Rain exclaimed, dumbfounded, not knowing all of his friends are hanging out with him, at his house at that.

"To hangout! Haven't you read the messages?"

He stared at them for a second, processing, then exhaled, already defeated. “You’re here already anyway.”

With a resigned sigh, he stepped aside and held the door open, letting them file in like they owned the place.

Then he saw her, Winter. The Winter. Kim Minjeong.

Their eyes met for a second,

A small pause, nothing heavy, nothing awkward.

Then it passed just as easily, like it always did, both of them moving on without making a big deal out of it.

He stepped inside, letting the others flood into his house, noise and movement filling the space like usual.

And then it hit him, sudden, disorienting.

Her eyes.

By god, her eyes.

Like a moth to a flame, his attention kept slipping back to them, drawn in with an ease that felt almost unfair.

Not loud, not demanding, just steady, magnetic in a way that made it hard to look away for too long without noticing you were already looking again.

He swallowed lightly, breaking the thought as he kept walking with the group, but the image didn’t leave. It lingered, quiet and persistent, like something his mind had decided to remember a little too clearly.

All of their friends had long since passed out drunk, sprawled across sofas and floors, the aftermath of the night settling into quiet snores and half-empty bottles.

Only Rain and Winter were still awake.

He never really liked alcohol. The taste, the loss of control, it all felt unnecessary to him. Winter was the same. She didn’t drink much either, never saw the appeal in it.

“So, how are you?” Rain started, unsure of how to begin, but saying it anyway.

“Happy. Hanging out with you guys.” Winter replied, smiling, simple, effortless, like there wasn’t anything more complicated to it than that.

“You know, we never really had that much of a conversation.” he said after a moment, leaning back slightly. “So I still don’t know much about you. Maybe now’s the first time I actually get to know you.”

“Same thoughts.” Winter said with a quiet laugh, light and unforced.

It wasn’t mocking or nervous, just honest amusement, like she’d noticed the same gap in their interactions and never really thought much of it until now.

For a moment, the room stayed still around them, the sleeping chaos of their friends somewhere in the background, while the two of them sat in the small space between unfamiliar and familiar, finally actually talking.

Then they talked, without checking the time, without rushing the silence between them. The conversation flowed naturally, each question leading to another, each answer revealing something new.

Likes, dislikes, small habits, things they wouldn’t usually bring up in a crowded room. Winter spoke casually, and Rain listened with unusual focus, storing every detail without interruption.

Without even realizing it, he was noting everything, carefully, while staying fully immersed in the now-not-so-small conversation that had quietly become the only thing in the room that mattered.

And at some point, they even followed each other on Instagram, an unspoken continuation of the night, like the conversation wasn’t done yet, just moving somewhere quieter.

Now she was right in front of him, still talking, close enough that he didn’t have to search for her in the room anymore.

Rain wasn’t even fully processing her words at first. His focus drifted until it settled on her face.

Her eyes, again.

This close, it was harder to ignore them. Meeting his without hesitation.

He should’ve noticed earlier. He didn’t know why he hadn’t.

How she looked when she laughed at her own corny jokes, like she didn’t care if they were funny or not.

How naturally she filled silence without forcing it. Even the way she talked now, simple, and felt oddly easy to follow.

His thoughts caught on details he never paid attention to before, then lingered where they shouldn’t stay too long. He forced himself to stay present, to listen properly, but the observation remained in the background, uninvited but clear.

She was just talking.

And he was just listening, he could listen to her all day.

At least, that was what it was supposed to be.

The night isn't as lonely as it was before.

Days passed, turned to months, and somehow, talking to her became routine, effortless, constant. In person, through messages, even late-night calls that stretched longer than they were supposed to.

Winter started opening up.

Not all at once, but in fragments, small, careful pieces of herself she didn’t usually hand out.

Things she kept from others, things she brushed off in a crowd but let slip in quieter moments.

He didn’t interrupt. Didn’t pry.

He just listened.

And with every piece she trusted him with, something in him settled deeper. Not loud, not rushed, just a growing awareness of who she really was beneath everything surface-level.

It made him pay attention more.

Appreciate her more.

And without realizing when it started, he found himself holding those pieces carefully, like they mattered more than they probably should.

They had planned it a few days ahead, a small, newly opened coffee shop near Minjeong’s house.

She loved coffee. That was reason enough for her.

He, on the other hand, had a different kind of attachment to it. Coffee, to him, was less about taste and more about survival, something to get through long nights buried in mechanics and thermodynamics, subjects he’d rather avoid if he could.

Still, this felt different.

Not just another cup to stay awake, not just another routine stop.

This time, there was a reason to be there that had nothing to do with deadlines or exams.

“There’s this thing I’ve been wanting to talk to you about.” Rain said, the words coming out slower than he intended, his body suddenly feeling heavier than usual.

“About what?” Winter asked, lifting a brow as she took another sip of her coffee.

“It’s about, uh—”

“Uh what?” she pressed, a hint of amusement slipping into her tone.

He hesitated, then let it out.

“It’s about this girl. I really like her.”

Winter’s eyebrows rose a little higher, curiosity immediate, who the girl was, what she was like, why?

But beneath that, something else surfaced.

Subtle. Unfamiliar.

A small, quiet feeling she couldn’t quite name, settling somewhere she wasn’t used to paying attention to, then she continued listening.

“I love everything about her,” he continued, voice quieter now, like he was admitting something he hadn’t meant to say out loud.

“I keep dreaming about her. I keep— I keep writing things I’m not even supposed to write, but I do it anyway.”

He let out a small breath, eyes dropping to his cup.

“I feel off when she’s down. I feel it when she’s hurting.” A faint, almost self-conscious smile tugged at him. “I even stopped doing things she hates. Just hoping I could be better.”

A pause.

“Even if I don’t think I’ve got a chance of her ever seeing me like that.”

"What did you write about her?"

"A poem"

There was a brief pause before he pulled out his phone, scrolling for a second like he suddenly wasn’t sure about this anymore, it's title sat at the top — Entropy

Then he handed it to her anyway.

“Here.”

He watched her as she read—not the screen, not the words, just her. Waiting, quieter than before, like whatever reaction she gave would matter more than he wanted it to.

“Did she already read this?” Minjeong asked, her voice steady, but her heart betraying her with a slight skip.

She loved it.

“She did, just now.” he replied, the words steady but carrying the full weight of what he meant.

It took more out of him than it should have, saying it like that, clear, undeniable, leaving no space to hide behind anything else.

Her heart skipped, once, then again, then faster, like it couldn’t settle.

Heat rushed to her face, her thoughts scattering all at once. She didn’t know what to say, didn’t know how to respond to something that had been sitting right in front of her this whole time.

So she didn’t.

She moved.

Leaning forward, closing the distance before she could second-guess it, her hand finding his shoulder as she pressed a kiss to him, sudden, unplanned, but certain.

He froze for a split second, eyes widening at the unexpected turn, but the shock faded just as quickly as it came. There was no hesitation after that. He leaned into it, returning the kiss, like something in him had already decided long before this moment.

Around them, the quiet café stirred, soft gasps, a few amused claps,but it all blurred into the background.

For them, there was only this.

They made it back to Winter’s house almost in a blur, everything moving too fast, yet not fast enough.

The moment the door opened, their eyes met again, and whatever restraint they had left slipped just as easily.

She stepped inside first, pulling him in with her before quickly pushing the door shut behind them.

Their lips met again, urgent this time, less hesitant, like the space between them had become something neither of them could tolerate anymore.

His hands found her back, steady at first, then more certain as they settled at her waist, drawing her closer, until he reaches out to her backside, in which he gave a firm squeeze, he loved everything about her, and what he loved so much other than that was her ass.

He's an ass man.

She didn’t pull away, if anything, she leaned in more, closing whatever distance remained between them.

Minjeong fell back onto her neatly made bed, the sheets still smooth, untouched, something she had fixed earlier without thinking it would matter.

Now it did.

Not because it would stay that way, but because it wouldn’t.

They both knew that much.

He hovered over her for a moment, breath uneven, eyes searching hers like he was still asking something without words. But she didn’t look away. If anything, she pulled him closer for another kiss.

Winter's lips brushed against his in a desperate, heated kiss, her breath ragged as she pulled back just enough to whisper, "Undress, please." The words tumbled out like a forbidden confession, her voice trembling with raw need. Her fingers dug into the back of his neck, holding him close, as if letting go would shatter the fragile dam holding back her flood of desire.

She had always reveled in her role as the untouchable princess, cold, distant, a frozen fortress of royalty that no one dared breach. Her icy demeanor was her armor, keeping guys away, they can look, but they can't touch. But now, in the dim glow of her room's light, that facade cracked wide open. Her body pressed against his, breasts heaving with each shallow breath, nipples hardening beneath the silk of her clothes as his hands roamed her sides.

Untouchable? This was out of the picture now. His fingers hooked into the laces at her back, tugging them loose with deliberate slowness, exposing the pale curve of her shoulder. A shiver raced down her spine, not from chill, but from the scorching heat building between her thighs. She arched into him, her pussy aching with wetness, the cool princess melting into a puddle of lust. "More." she gasped, her nails scraping his skin, urging him to rip away the last barriers and claim what she'd denied herself for so long.

His gaze never wavered, those piercing eyes drilling into hers with an intensity that stripped her bare long before his hands could. As his fingers trailed lower, deftly unfastening the ties at her waist, he leaned in closer, his voice a low, gravelly rumble against her ear. "You know, I've always thought you were fucking scorching hot," he murmured, the words laced with hunger that made her core clench. "The way you stare at me, like you're seeing straight into my soul, it drives me insane. I fucking crave that look, the one that says you want me to shatter every wall you've built."

Winter's breath hitched, her body trembling under his touch as the fabric of her loosened, sliding down her hips to pool at her feet. She stood exposed now, her skin flushed and prickling in the cool air, but it was his stare that burned her alive. Her pussy throbbed with slick heat, juices already trickling down her inner thighs, betraying how desperately she needed him inside her. She gripped his shoulders harder, nails biting into flesh, pulling him flush against her naked form, her hardened nipples scraping against his chest through his shirt, sending jolts of fire straight to her clit.

"Don't stop." she whispered fiercely, her voice breaking with the raw ache of pent-up longing. The cold princess was gone, replaced by this wild, insatiable woman who arched her back, pressing her dripping folds against the hard bulge straining his pants. His hands gripped her ass, squeezing the firm cheeks as he ground against her, the friction making her gasp and moan, her soul laid bare in the fire of his eyes. Every touch ignited her further, promising to fuck the ice right out of her until she was nothing but a quivering mess of ecstasy.

Winter's fingers trembled with a fierce hunger as she reached down, her palm pressing boldly against the thick, throbbing bulge straining against the fabric of his pants. The heat of his cock seeped through the material, making her mouth water and her pussy clench with fresh waves of slick need. She squeezed him hard, feeling the rigid length twitch and pulse under her grip, drawing a sharp, guttural gasp from his lips that sent a thrill racing up her spine.

"Fuck, Minjeong." he groaned, his voice rough and broken, eyes darkening with raw lust as he bucked involuntarily into her hand. Her icy facade had shattered completely now, replaced by this bold, feral woman who craved every inch of him. With deliberate slowness, she tugged at his belt, the leather whispering as it unbuckled, her nails scraping lightly over the zipper before yanking it down. His pants sagged open, and she wasted no time, shoving them along with his underwear down his hips in one urgent motion.

His cock sprang free, heavy and veined, the swollen head already glistening with pre-cum that beaded at the tip like a promise of the flood to come. It stood rigid against his abdomen, long, overshadowing her face, thick enough to make her inner walls flutter in anticipation, imagining how it would stretch her wide and fill her to the brink.

Winter wrapped her hand around the base, her fingers barely meeting around his girth, and stroked upward with a firm, teasing pump that made him hiss through clenched teeth. The velvety skin slid over steel-hard muscle, and she reveled in the way he jerked in her grasp, his hips thrusting forward as if begging for more.

"Fuck, what do I do with this, it's so fucking big, baby."

She dropped to her knees before him, the cool stone floor biting into her skin, but she didn't care, her focus was solely on him, on devouring this man who had cracked her open. Her free hand shoved his pants and boots off completely, leaving him as naked as she was, his muscular thighs flexing under her touch. Leaning in, she dragged her tongue along the underside of his shaft, from balls to tip, tasting the salty tang of his arousal. He tangled his fingers in her hair, not pulling yet, but holding on as if she were his lifeline, his breaths coming in ragged pants.

"God, your cock is so fucking huge." she murmured against his skin, her voice husky with desire, before swirling her tongue around the flared head, lapping up that leaking pre-cum. She took him into her mouth then, lips stretching wide as she sucked him deep, her cheeks hollowing with the effort. The stretch in her jaw mirrored the ache in her pussy, both demanding to be filled, and she moaned around his length, the vibration making him curse and thrust shallowly into her warmth. Saliva dripped down her chin as she bobbed her head, taking him deeper with each pass, her hand twisting at the base to milk every throb.

His grip tightened in her hair, guiding her rhythm as his other hand braced against the wall, muscles rippling with restraint. "That's it, princess, suck my cock like you own it." he growled, the words fueling her fire, making her throat relax to swallow him further until her nose brushed his groin. Tears pricked her eyes from the intensity, but she pushed on, hollowing her cheeks and humming low, determined to unravel him just as he had her. Her free hand slipped between her own thighs, fingers circling her swollen clit, dipping into her soaked folds to ease the desperate throb, but it only heightened her need for him to fuck her senseless.

Rising slowly, she released his cock with a wet pop, strings of saliva connecting her lips to his glistening tip. She stood, pressing her body against his, her hard nipples dragging over his chest as she captured his mouth in a bruising kiss, sharing his taste between them. "I neeed you, give it to me please." she pleaded, her voice a sultry command laced with vulnerability, her hand guiding his throbbing length to nudge against her dripping entrance. The head parted her folds, teasing her clit before pressing just inside, and they both shuddered at the electric contact, her walls clenching greedily, pulling him in as if she could never let go.

Winter's cry tore from her throat as the thick head of his cock breached her entrance, stretching her slick pussy lips wide around its girth. "Oh—FUCKK, it's in, it's in, it went in, it's so so—big!"she gasped, her voice breaking into a raw, desperate whine that echoed off the stone walls. Her inner walls fluttered wildly, gripping the invading shaft like a vice, the burn of the stretch sending sparks of exquisite pain-pleasure shooting through her core. She was soaked, her arousal coating him in a glossy sheen, but even that couldn't fully ease the way he split her open, inch by relentless inch.

He paused there, just the tip buried inside her heat, his hands clamping down on her hips with bruising force to hold her steady. "Shit, baby, you're so fucking tight." he rasped, his breath hot against her neck as he nipped at her skin, teeth grazing her pulse point. His cock throbbed inside her, the pulse syncing with her racing heart, and she could feel every ridge, every vein pressing against her sensitive folds. Her body betrayed her completely now, no trace of the princess remained, only this molten woman arching into him, her nails digging bloody crescents into his shoulders as she tried to push down, to take more.

"Please, more." she begged, her words slurring with need, hips rolling in a frantic circle that made his tip nudge deeper, scraping her walls and hitting that spot that made stars burst behind her eyelids. Tears of overwhelming sensation welled in her eyes, spilling over as she clenched around him, her pussy milking the head greedily. The fullness was intoxicating, a delicious ache that bordered on too much, yet she craved it all, every brutal thrust he had to give.

With a savage growl, he obliged, slamming his hips forward in one powerful surge. His cock plunged deep, burying to the hilt in her dripping cunt, balls slapping against her ass with a wet smack that reverberated through them both. Winter screamed, the sound pure ecstasy, her body convulsing as he filled her utterly, the head kissing her cervix and sending shockwaves of pleasure ripping through her. "Yes! Fuck, you're splitting me apart!" she sobbed, her legs wrapping around his waist like iron bands, heels digging into his back to lock him in place. Her pussy spasmed around his length, juices squirting out around the base where they joined, soaking his thighs and the floor beneath.

He didn't give her time to adjust, pulling back almost to the tip before driving in again, harder, faster, setting a punishing rhythm that had her tits bouncing wildly against his chest. Each thrust punched the air from her lungs, his cock dragging along her walls, the friction building a fire that consumed her from the inside out. "Take it, Minjeong, take every fucking inch." he snarled, one hand sliding up to fist her hair, yanking her head back to expose her throat. He latched on, sucking a dark bruise into her pale skin while his other hand kneaded her ass, fingers spreading her cheeks to tease the puckered hole there, adding a filthy edge to the onslaught.

She was lost in it, her world narrowing to the brutal slide of his cock in her pussy, the way it stretched and claimed her, the slap of skin on skin mingling with her guttural moans. Her clit ground against his pelvis with every hilt-deep plunge, the pressure coiling tighter in her belly, pushing her toward the edge. "Harder—fuck me harder, make me yours! Oh god you’re breaking my pussy! " she demanded, her voice hoarse, body trembling as another wave of slick gushed around him. He obliged with a feral grunt, pounding into her like a man possessed, the force lifting her off her toes, her back scraping the wall as he rutted deep, chasing their shared release with unbridled ferocity.

Sweat slicked their bodies, her nipples scraping raw against his chest hair, every nerve alight with the raw intensity of their coupling. Winter's cries grew louder, more broken, her pussy clenching rhythmically now, on the verge of shattering. 'I'm—oh god, I'm gonna — I'm gonna — FUCKKK." she wailed, and he redoubled his efforts, grinding against her clit while his thumb circled her back entrance, pushing her over into oblivion with her eyes rolled at the very back of her head. Juices spraying out of her well-fucked pussy, drenching his cock and thighs again.

Winter, Kim Minjeong, came, hard.

And he still didn't, he's craving for more.