shades and devotion

As a dedicated gooner, you have a reputation to uphold.

Which means keeping your top poster ranking on r/kpopfap. You didn’t get here by luck or anything else. Days and weeks and months and years of perseverance make you one of the subreddit members’ favourites.

You post when no one else does. Those tits, those hips, that ass — you let the world know who they belong to. Not just that, you fight for her when no one else does — her honor, her humanity. You are always there to protect her, even if it’s in your unconventional kind of way.

this girl doesnt have that body that will make ur horny, but lets admit that she’s a tease.

> turnstyle: Wdym she doesn’t have THAT body???

All this over a woman named Oh Haewon.

—

The premiere timer for Blue Valentine finally reaches zero, and you’re watching the video play expectantly, hoping that they would build off the style of Fe3O4: FORWARD. You’ve been with them since the controversial O.O, to Jini’s departure, to Roller Coaster, the first song from them you genuinely adore, to career-best Papillon, to Blue Valentine, and you cannot be happier to see them finally rise to this point.

During the video, your eyes are glued to the screen, watching the sextuplet singing and moving to the beat on your monitor. Your foot taps the ground along with the rhythm, head nodding slightly in parallel with the melody. The song’s a goddamn treat, reminding you of the lost love you had back in high school.

It ends eventually, though, and it’s Adobe Premiere time.

In a practiced manner, you conjure up an animated snapshot out of the performance video — open and … cut it here, trim it there, slow it down — all focused on Haewon. Of course, your cock throbs the entire time you edit the video — those bouncy tits, those tight hips, that supple ass. (No deepfakes or AI edits though. Those go against your ethical gooning code.) The primal instinct inside your body surges uncontrollably, so ready to take over your sensibility and trigger your savagery.

(It’s just jerking off in front of your screen, nothing violent about it.)

You post your mirrored GIFs on Pixeldrain as a common practice, in case of deletion or corrupted files. Then, onto Reddit you go.

Title: NMIXX - Haewon

Add flair: body

Post

And you just watch the upvotes surge. Sure, they aren’t as plentiful as those other lustful, sexy aespa posts, but you’re always happy to post Haewon (and sometimes her bandmates). You’ve always loved seeing lewd comments about her.

Those are Korea’s thighs [Hot Face] I’d do anything to suffocate under her, holy fuck

First her tits, now her panties [Weary Face] Haewon making sure we eat GOOD

I think she’s a low key exhibitionist. [Grinning Squinting Face]

That’s just life — your life — posting about Oh Haewon’s artificially slowed movements and farming internet points out of that. It’s not what you hoped for, but it’s enough.

—

The crowd’s cheers echo all over Singapore Indoor Stadium. Lights and flashes barrage your eyes relentlessly. Goosebumps erupt around your body as NMIXX performs their last song of the night — Run for Roses. The fans surrounding you are screaming the song along with the ones on the stage raucously. You don’t mind, of course. Their passion is what you admire.

Your focus fixates mostly on Haewon. Watching her dance and sing in real life is nothing short of miraculous. You can feel a shiver every time she comes close to your spot on the stage. It’s as if your fingers will touch each other, creating a shockwave throughout the venue with how much you’ve been worshipping her — desire, admiration. Her eyes are so hypnotic, so inviting that you lose yourself in them. Then, there’s that body you’ve always admired through the screen — tits, hips, ass. You’ve seen them while editing those videos at home numerous times, but seeing them shine in front of your eyes is just unbelievable.

And safe to say that it makes you fucking rock hard.

You keep singing and dancing to the music with no regard for your surroundings. Your limbs flow along with the beat and melody clumsily like a hand-drawn cartoon character. God, the music is just deific. You cannot resist moving to the rhythm. The atmosphere is just that great.

—

“Goodbye, Singapore! Thank you!” Lily shouts into her microphone with her last bit of energy as the other women bow, signaling the end of the show. You’re still astounded and awestruck to see Haewon in front of your two eyes, to watch her dance, to see her unbelievably hot body shine against the lights and camera flashes. It’s definitely an unforgettable night.

You can still remember the way Haewon looked at you during the performance — eyes lingering on yours a tad too long, a few winks here and there with intentions. Even if you know that it’s just her work, you can’t help but get lost in the gambits she’s playing against your parasocial tendencies.

She’s basically an earthly angel to you.

The members do one last round of front-row fan meeting before they enter the backstage. Through the chaos, you immediately pick up your phone to capture the video of them in their close proximity to you — Haewon, Lily, Sullyoon, Bae, Jiwoo, and Kyujin. You watch them walking along the crowd’s edge, saying goodbye and good luck to the fans. They inch closer and closer to your section. You wait for them in anticipation, camera aimed carefully to capture their happiness at meeting their followers.

And the unthinkable happens.

As the women reach your spot, Haewon suddenly snatches your phone away from your hand, then—

She winks.

—and starts taking an exclusive video just for you, on your goddamn fucking phone. The patrons around you scream even louder, begging for Haewon to take their phones as well. You watch in awe as she captures herself with indulgence — doing a peace sign, pursing her lips, before blowing a kiss at your camera. You can feel your fibrillating heart as she does that. Your body shivers with excitement to have Oh Haewon touching your phone like this. God, you’d never clean your phone case again.

“Come on, give it back to him!” Lily half-chuckles. “We gotta go!”

Haewon gives it back to you, eventually, with a smile and—

Another wink.

—not stopping the video to let you film the other members as well. Your hands tremble frantically as you get your phone back from her. You can’t believe what you’ve just experienced. Your soul leaves you to become a mere spectator of your body. God. God. God. Fucking fuck.

As the women leave the stage area, you’re still standing there — drunk, dazed, hands still quivering uncontrollably. You quickly open the camera roll to watch Haewon and her smile again. It’s evident in the video that she looks rather happy on your phone — still her job, but you can’t help fantasizing about her actually liking you. You just stand there, watching Haewon on your phone blowing a kiss at you — shocked, puzzled. To comprehend that would take days, even weeks.

And oh my fucking God, there’s a hint of her yummy cleavage as well.

This is going into a part of your family’s heirloom.

The concert ends, and eventually, you’re left astounded by the events that have just happened before you. Your breathing is still ragged and uneven, barely able to reclaim yourself back into your regular consciousness. A few people around you chuckle, seeing you all worked up like this. And to be honest, you even feel more determined to post more of her on Reddit.

You stand there, frozen, confounded, until a pair of suited men approaches you from the other side of the guardrail.

“Sir,” the man on the left says — lean, sleek, young — and you’re pulled out of your trance.

Your eyes widen, mind wandering into the vast possibilities of why you’d get called by their … bodyguards? Did you do something wrong? “U-uh, yes?”

“Would you mind coming with us?” the other man asks — tall, bulky, also young. Damn, they’re making a good duo here. He opens the guardrail slightly for you to walk through. You’re still confused, though. What’s going on?

Is this about … Haewon?

“Do I have to delete the video she took? I mean, does it … uh …”

The men in black suits look at each other for a bit.