Fearless

“Are you crying?”

“What? No,” Chaewon mumbles, eyes still locked on the screen.

“Babe, it’s a dance practice, I can’t believe this is making you tear up,” you laugh while using your sleeve to pat her cheek dry.

She doesn’t react, just sits still as you wipe away the tears. “But look how clean it is,” she sighs, analyzing each and every move Kazuha makes.

This is just the way Chaewon is. She’s always just being the cutest girl on the planet – intentionally or unintentionally. Even now, while she sits in your lap and reviews dance practice videos, she just has to be adorable. It’s in every fiber of her body.

It didn’t take long for you to fall in love with her way of doing things – there’s a reason you two have been in a loving relationship basically since the day you met.

Everything has been so easy, that’s the best part. The two of you just click, mesh together so perfectly. Solved puzzle pieces are jealous of your compatibility. Even though you both ended up in busy careers – hers more so than yours – you both find time for the other, making sacrifices when needed.

You couldn’t be more pleased by your arrangement. Everything that comes with the package known as Chaewon is all you need in this world.

“Yours are just as good if not better,” you wrap your arms around her waist and press your lips to her cheek, catching yourself by surprise when you feel just how soft it is; no matter how many times you kiss her, you always forget.

“Well, you’re wrong, I don’t know what to tell you.”

“How about you don’t tell me anything and we do something else?”

“Something else?” Chaewon echoes with a giggle, turning off her phone screen. “And what might that be?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” you slide your hand down her waist and just your fingertips sneak into her waistband.

“Not tonight,” she mumbles, clearly regretfully, holding up her phone.

You pull your hand back and let it rest on her stomach. “Right, almost forgot that you’re an idol so you still have a bedtime.”

“It’s not a bedtime,” she whines, lifting herself up and turning to face you. “It’s just that tomorrow is a busy day.”

“Every day is a busy day for you guys.”

“That’s called being an idol,” she chuckles but then her face drops when she sees your disappointment. “Hey, I’m sorry–”

“Don’t be, I get it,” you purse your lips. “It’s just the price of dating an idol.”

Chaewon puffs out her cheeks and then sighs. “It’s worth it though, right?”

You tilt your head at her, scanning her expression.

Chaewon isn’t typically the type of girl who needs to be showered with compliments. In fact, it can be quite cute – like always – when you do compliment her and she gets all shy. That adorable, whiney voice she does when she’s pretending that you’re annoying her, even though you know she loves it.

However, you’ve come to learn there are also times when she does crave a bit of reassurance.

“I wouldn’t trade it for the world,” you smile at her. “Now, should we get you back to the dorms?”

“Will I see you tomorrow?” Chaewon turns around at her doorstep, arms crossed and bracing against the cold wind. “The morning is busy, but I have a break in the afternoon.”

“I don’t know if–”

“Stop, I don’t wanna hear it,” Chaewon interrupts and turns around.

Your lips curl into a smile and you quickly reach for her shoulder. She pulls away initially but then sighs and faces the side, leaning against the door with her head turned towards you.

“I didn’t even say no yet.”

“That last word is the problem,” her lips begin to pout. “I think I’m just stressed, sorry.”

You take a small step towards her and she opens up, facing you fully. “You get the pass during comeback week, it’s fine,” you reach forward and brush a strand of hair out of her face. “I’ll see what I can do, maybe I’ll pick you up from the office.”

“I’d like that,” Chaewon smiles back. “Just a few days before schedules take over my life, I don’t want to waste any time.”

“Neither do I.”

“Then let’s do it, let’s commit to doing something tomorrow evening,” her eyes light up. “It doesn’t even matter what, just something.”

“When you say something–”

“Yeah, that too,” she giggles into the night wind. “Multiple times, of course.”

“Wouldn’t it just be easier if I spend the night?” you step closer until your noses are almost touching.

“That’s a bad idea and you know it,” Chaewon whispers before letting her lips press forward.

Her plump, slightly parted, lips crash against yours hard. That’s all it takes for the freezing air to disappear, replaced by a warmth that spills deep inside your chest. The taste of her lips floods your senses.

You push forward until Chaewon’s back thuds against the door. She moans into your mouth, but the kiss never ceases, not even for a moment. You can feel her begin to lose balance, drunk off your mouth, and your hands quickly react before your mind.

Her waist fits so perfectly between your palms, snatched and toned like no other. Your fingers naturally slip under the hem of her top and into her skin, mimicking the way your tongue begins to push past her lips.

Your fingers feel the sharpness of her hips and your thumbs graze those elevens she trains day in and day out to maintain. Her skin is taut and firm while being impossibly soft to your touch at the same time.

Chaewon’s hands, with no desire to be left behind, match your energy instantly by latching onto your face. She’s cupping your jaw between them, pulling you closer, making it absolutely certain that there’s no world where you are allowed to leave her.

You’re hers.

Her thumbs are pressing into your cheeks – the tiniest dig of her nails making you feral – while your mouth fights against the stretch of your skin in desperation, kissing her incessantly. Just when you think it’ll truly never end, she pulls back enough to let a warm breath hit your lips.

The two of you make eye contact for only a split second before lunging back into each other. Her hands end up on the back of your head, tangling your hair between her fingers; while your hands end up sliding down her hips.

You take two handfuls of Chaewon’s tight ass into your palms, catching her as she reacts by jumping up into your grasp. You’re holding all of her weight up now, pinning her against the door while her legs wrap around your waist. Your fingers dig deep into the thin leggings she’s wearing, pressing hard into her ass.

Her thighs start to squish you, locking your bodies flush together. You hold on tighter, fingers kneading her ass to keep her right where you want her.

Just as much as you’re hers, she’s yours.

She gives your head a desperate little tug, breaking apart the kiss and leaving both of you gasping for a breath before you crash back together, filled with more passion than ever – the longer you kiss her, the more the intensity climbs.

You’re starving for her lips and you didn’t even know it. The taste, the softness, the warmth, you want it all. You’re craving her even though she’s yours for the taking, clinging onto your body for dear life, devouring you with her love.

Then, without any warning, the door you’re propping Chaewon up against swings open.

She slips, as do you, but you quickly recover after taking a couple of steps forward, catching yourself right before you are about to drop Chaewon to the ground; she holds herself up with her legs still wrapped around you.

“I… heard someone… the door…” Kazuha stammers, eyes clearly focused on your hands digging into Chaewon’s ass cheeks.

“Hey Kazuha,” you lift Chaewon up and place her onto her feet. “We didn’t wake you, did we?”

“No, I was awake,” she giggles softly, regaining her composure instantly, hiding behind the door with only her face peeking around it. “Umm, should I close the door?”

“If you want,” you pat Chaewon’s ass loud enough for Kazuha to hear. “Maybe turn off the porch light, if you can.”

“Yah!” Chaewon nudges you in the ribs. “Don’t be inappropriate. You’re so embarrassing,” she whines in that oh, so adorable voice of hers. “It’s alright Zuha, I’m coming in.”

Chaewon starts to push the door open, but then she freezes.

That’s when you notice.

“Zuha! Where are your clothes?” Chaewon quickly steps in front of your view, blocking Kazuha’s almost entirely nude body.

The damage is already done. Your eyes are feasting on the tiny, matching purple panties and bra Kazuha’s wearing. That dancer's body of hers, it would be impossible not to stare – the way the light is bending impossibly around her lean body as if she’s flexing everything at once.

Your eyes scan past Chaewon, appreciating those seemingly never-ending legs, the way her hips curve. They pause on her stomach, obsessed with those perfect eleven abs she sports, and then they flick up towards her slender, feminine shoulders. You admire the fold her collarbone makes, and to top it all off, that cheeky smile she has plastered on her face.

Chaewon turns to you, holding her arms out as a shield. “Hello? I’m right here. You know, the girl you were just making out with,” she says, sulking playfully.

“Is that what you guys were doing?” Kazuha hops onto her tippie toes and peeks over Chaewon’s shoulder, smiling at you. “I’m not distracting you, am I?” she adds innocently, completely unbothered by your staring.

“Uh…” your wide opened eyes do nothing to help with Chaewon’s frustration.

Chaewon turns back to Kazuha and pushes her inside, closing the door in her face before turning back to you.

“You could at least pretend to look away.”

“Oh come on, you had me watch like an hour of her dancing earlier,” you chuckle. “And now I can’t look at the real thing?”

“What?” Kazuha’s muffled voice comes through the door.

“That’s different,” Chaewon whines, giving the door behind her a quick kick. “She wasn’t naked in the dance practice.”

“God I wish she was,” you sigh before laughing at Chaewon’s annoyed expression. You step forward and take her head in your hands, pressing your lips firmly to her forehead, holding there for a few seconds before pulling back and smiling down at her. “I love you.”

“Mhmm,” she pouts but you can see in her eyes that she’s amused by the whole situation.

“Text me whenever you know what time you’ll be off tomorrow, I’ll pick you up.”

“And we’ll spend all evening together?” she looks up at you hopefully.

“All evening,” you run your hand through her hair before letting go.

She pouts her lips towards you, and you give her one last quick peck.

“Love you,” she smiles, turning towards the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow, goodnight!”

With that, she rushes into the dorm, leaving you on the doorstep. As you start walking back to your car, you hear a muffled ‘why are you still here!’ behind you.

Upstairs in her room, Sakura sits on her bed with her knees drawn up to her chest. She’s fiddling with an earbud between her fingers, staring at the plastic while deep in thought.

Downstairs, she can hear all of the noise from the front door traveling easily through the relatively thin walls. Chaewon’s giggles and needy whines, Kazuha’s teasing tone, the sound of the door slamming – she hears it all.

The sound of your laugh, it’s all too familiar to her.

Sakura drops the airpod on her side table before tightening her fingers around the edge of her blanket. She pulls it over her shoulders, wrapping it around her body as if her room dropped ten degrees.

It’s not like your relationship with Chaewon is a secret, Sakura knows about it probably more than any of the other members. Still, even though she’s ‘fine’ with it, nights like these often remind her how much has changed. Especially when her melodramatic playlist is interrupted by the sound of Chaewon and you laughing on the doorstep.

That used to be her laughing on the doorstep and telling you to sleep well. It feels so long ago, yet somehow it also feels like it was only yesterday.

She closes her eyes and presses her forehead against her knees, taking in a few deep breaths, letting each out slowly.

Then, she lifts her head and drops her legs flat. She reaches over for her laptop in an attempt to distract herself.

The text comes earlier than you had planned for, but you still decide to set aside your work and make your way over to the office. Luckily, your work is flexible; it’s the main reason you can make your schedule work around Chaewon.

With performances, award shows, practice, variety shows, and concerts, it can be unbelievably hectic dating an idol. You never truly get used to it, you just have to grit your teeth and accept it.

Getting caught with Chaewon in public is a huge risk. Even when you two go out, staying incognito is of the utmost importance – it’s one of the key requirements that actually allowed for the approval of your relationship.

The other key detail being that you and Chaewon started dating right before she debuted. Even though the girls are contractually banned from starting relationships in order to protect them from drama, the company made an exception for Chaewon since she technically didn’t start a relationship.

At first you weren’t entirely sure how it would work. Part of you was worried that the company would push you to break up, but they’ve actually been relatively supportive – as long as you don’t get caught in public.

They accommodate your presence, and, especially here in the offices where it’s considerably more private, you have full freedom to spend as much time with Chaewon as her schedule allows for.

Like right now, while you sip on an iced coffee in the cafeteria, no one is going to bat an eye when Chaewon comes up behind you and wraps her arms around your head.

“Guess who’s done!”

“Is it Zuha?” you set down your cup.

“Idiot,” Chaewon lets go of you and flicks your ear before hopping onto your lap.

“Tired?” you smile at her, setting your arm around her lower back for support.

“A bit,” she reaches for your cup, taking a sip before scrunching up her face. “Why’s it so bitter?”

“Because it’s mine, not yours,” you nuzzle your cheek against her shoulder. “So, what’s the plan for tonight?”

“Yeah, what’s the plan?” a familiar voice comes from behind you.

You turn towards it and see Kazuha, holding an iced coffee of her own, take a seat right next to you.

“Hello Zuha,” you’re reminded of last night.

“Alright,” Chaewon hops off your lap. “Keep Zuha company, I’m gonna go get changed and then we’re going out.”

She scurries off, leaving just you and Kazuha sitting next to each other, perhaps a little bit too close. Kazuha offers you a sip of her coffee, smiling expectantly at you, so you lean in for a sip, returning a small hum of approval.

“Good, right?” she brings the straw back to her lips. “Don’t you think you’re sitting a bit close?”

You’re about to point out the fact that she sat down next to you, but you quickly realize she’s messing with you. “My bad,” you scoot over on the bench and she immediately moves with you, erasing any gap you try to make. “So, where are the others?”

“Home,” Kazuha answers casually, pretending to scroll her phone while she rubs her arm against your side.

“I see,” you glance down at her arm, as if you need confirmation. “Any reason they’re keeping you here?”

“I have a photoshoot scheduled.”

“Cool,” you click your tongue, looking around the cafeteria.

“Oh my gosh,” she suddenly turns to face you, smirking. “Are you thinking of me in my underwear?”

“What?” your eyebrows shoot up. You honestly weren’t, but now that she mentions it…

“You totally are!” she feigns shock and covers her mouth. “I saw the way you looked at me last night. I didn’t know you liked me that much.”

“You mean the way I’d look at anyone who decided it was appropriate to answer the door basically naked?”

“Surely not anyone,” Kazuha giggles before leaning in closer and whispering. “I don’t mind when you stare.”

The funny part is that none of this behavior is abnormal for Kazuha; the girl loves teasing you at every opportunity possible. Whether she’s flashing you those little smiles, ‘accidentally’ brushing up against you, or like last night where she ‘forgot’ she was in her underwear, watching you squirm is Kazuha’s favorite hobby.

Chaewon barely seems to care; at times, you aren’t entirely sure she even notices just how flirty Kazuha can be. It started pretty early on. See, you end up spending a lot of time around the girls, and you made the mistake of admitting one night when it was just Chaewon, Kazuha, you, and plenty of alcohol that you find her incredibly attractive.

In your defense, Chaewon was the one egging it on. She played just as much of a role as Kazuha. In fact, you thought that night was going to end very differently, especially when they started talking about how much they love going on spa dates together. Ultimately, it ended up with you carrying both girls back to Chaewon’s bed and passing out on the couch. Ever since that night, Kazuha has been pushing the boundaries with you.

“Ready?” Chaewon’s voice comes from behind, startling you. She’s not bothered at all by the fact that Kazuha is wrapped around your arm.

“Uh, yeah, did you decide where we’re going?”

“Walk in the park?” Chaewon shrugs, reaching into her bag and touching up her lip gloss. “Zuha, care to join us?”

Kazuha lets go of your arm and stands up. “I would, but I have that photoshoot,” she stretches her arms towards the roof, making sure you can see her abs. “You two have fun though!”

The two girls hug briefly before Kazuha strolls off, peeking one last time over her shoulder at you and winking. Chaewon holds her hand out for you which you gladly accept, letting her guide you towards the elevators.

“She’s been a bit extra flirty lately, don’t you think?” you ask cautiously.

“Not more than usual,” Chaewon doesn’t even miss a beat. “Still thinking about the offer?”

“Offer? Oh, you were serious?”

“Why would I joke about that?” Chaewon steps into the elevator before turning to you, eyebrows raised. “A bit of casual fun never hurt anybody.”

"I know, I just... I don't know."

“Hey, do what’s comfortable,” she leans against the side of the elevator. “Are you uhh… still fine with me messing around?”

“What? Yeah, of course.”

“Strange, isn’t it? You’re fine with me doing it, but when the shoe is on the other foot–”

“It just feels a bit more acceptable for you than it does for me.”

Chaewon pushes herself up and moves closer to you. “I wish you wouldn’t feel that way,” she mumbles, staring at your lips. “You trust me?”

“Of course, always,” you lean in.

Chaewon’s soft, freshly glossed lips squish calmly against yours. She presses deep and holds for a moment before slowly leaning back, looking up at you with sparkling eyes.

“Then take a risk, for me,” she says as the elevator stops. “Take Kazuha out on a date.”

She quickly steps out of the elevator and you chase behind.

“What? Why?” you stammer.

“She likes you, you like her, I like both of you,” Chaewon continues walking, nodding and smiling respectfully at a passing staff member. “I’m not telling you to sleep with her on the first date, just give her an opportunity to experience what it’s like to have a boyfriend.”

“Is that what she wants?”

“Kinda,” Chaewon walks up to the passenger side of your car and stops. “The flirting and stuff is one thing, I’m not talking about that.”

You open the door for her. “And what are you talking about?”

“Yunjin has experience, Sakura…” Chaewon’s voice cracks and she continues after you give her an understanding nod. “Eunchae and Kazuha are the only two who haven’t had a boyfriend before.”

“And that’s where I fill the gap?”

“You know the rules, no new boys,” Chaewon smiles softly. “I still don’t know if you’re Eunchae’s type, she’s never mentioned it. Zuha though…”

“What if we hit it off like, really well?”

“You’re still mine,” Chaewon responds somewhat aggressively before taking a seat.

You walk around the front of the car and get in the driver seat. You start the car, put it in drive, and then reach over to grab Chaewon’s hand. After interlocking fingers, you start driving.

“And you’re mine,” you smile at her. “No matter how well my date with Zuha goes.”

She gives your hand an affirming squeeze before responding. “It better go well, by the way. Don’t you dare break her heart.”

“What if she breaks mine?”

“You’ll live,” Chaewon giggles, staring out the window. “Hey, pull over there for a second.”

“Here? There’s nothing here,” you turn the wheel and bring the car to a stop.

“Exactly,” Chaewon lets go of your hand and starts climbing over the center console.

“Oh.”

“We didn’t interrupt something, did we?” Yunjin answers the door.

Chaewon snorts, quickly covering her mouth and faking a cough to cover her laugh.

“No, not at all,” you pinch Chaewon’s side. “I was actually just driving her back.”

It’s a complete lie, of course. Chaewon only just got your pants off when she got the call, apparently the girls had some sort of movie night planned.

“That’s good,” Yunjin says, closing the door behind you. “Zuha’s photoshoot got cancelled, so we decided we’d make it a girl’s night.”

“Cool,” you respond, perhaps a bit colder than intended.

“Oh,” Yunjin picks up on your tone immediately. “Well, you could join us if you’d like.”

“I’m good, I actually have some work to catch up on anyway.”

“Alright,” Yunjin bites her lip, eyes darting between the two of you. “I’m gonna quickly finish getting ready, we’ll head out in like fifteen!” she rushes off, leaving you and Chaewon.

“I thought you cleared your evening for me,” Chaewon giggles. “I’m sorry, really. I wanted to spend time with you–”

“It’s alright, another night,” you sigh.

“Come on,” Chaewon places her hands on your cheeks and pouts. “Don’t be sad, I’m sorry.”

“I’m not sad, I get it. You should also spend some time with the members.”

“I spend like all day with them.”

“And apparently all evening, too.”

“Hey,” Chaewon drops her voice. “We have fifteen minutes, and that really means half an hour…”

“I don’t know if I want to get blue balls twice in one hour.”

“Come on, I’ll make it quick,” Chaewon’s hand moves towards your crotch.

“Make what quick?” Eunchae peeks her head over the back of the couch.

Chaewon quickly pulls her hand back and steps away from you, cheeks flushed a light pink.

“Eunchae! I thought you were getting ready,” Chaewon laughs nervously.

“I am ready,” Eunchae lifts herself higher, showing off the cute jacket she chose for tonight. “So, what are you making quick, unnie?”

“Nothing, I was just joking about something.”

“Joking? Is that what you call it?” Eunchae starts to smirk. “Come on, I’m not stupid.”

“Eunchae-ya,” Chaewon groans, rolling her eyes.

“She’s enjoying this a bit too much,” you can’t help but let your lips curl up – Eunchae’s smile is extremely contagious.

“I am,” Eunchae hops to her feet. “But I’ll be nice and give you two some privacy.”

She runs off towards the stairs while Chaewon turns to you, face still red.

“Now,” you smile at Chaewon’s embarrassment. “Where were we?”

“No where, because I know she’s still listening,” Chaewon sighs before calling over her shoulder. “Eunchae-ya, you there?”

“No,” she calls back, leaving the two of you chuckling.

After saying goodbye to Chaewon, you head back to your car. Once seated, you look over to see she forgot her jacket – she never put it back on. You could just give it back to her later, but you figured since you’re already here you might as well just bring it back to her.

You march up to their front door, letting yourself in with the key the girls secretly had made for you – none of the staff know. You start walking towards Chaewon’s room when you round the corner and nearly bump into Sakura.

“Oh! Sorry!” you quickly reach out and grab her arm, saving her from the fall.

She freezes for a second, holding onto your arm, before quickly regaining her composure.

“It’s alright, I wasn’t paying attention,” she quickly fixes her skirt.

Sakura looks, by every definition of the word, beautiful. Her hair flows down past her shoulders, slightly messy and screaming ‘girl next door’. Her light style of makeup done to absolute perfect, especially the eyes – so big, expressive and widened in shock. It’s not like Sakura ever doesn’t look good, but tonight, all prettied up for their girl’s night, she looks ethereal.

“Thanks for catching me,” she laughs, but you hear the awkwardness behind it.

“I wasn’t just going to let you fall,” you only now notice your heart is beating twice as fast.

“What? You think dainty old me would break?”

“Nah, I know you can handle…” you trail off, realizing how incredibly inappropriate it might sound if you finish the thought.

Sakura’s mouth falls open, shocked but partially smiling. “Idiot,” she says as she backhands your shoulder and walks past.

Then, as you continue walking to Chaewon’s room, you hear Sakura call your name from behind.

“Hmm?” you turn to see Sakura staring at the ground between you.

“We have a bit of a hectic week, it might be nice if you can spend some more time around here,” Sakura says quietly. “I mean, for Chaewon, of course.”

You stare at her for a second, wondering why your heart is still racing. Eventually, she looks up at you – probably trying to figure out why you haven’t said anything.

But you don’t know either. You just feel… something.

“Yeah, I can do that,” you finally respond.