Zero Preparation

“Large americano to drink here?”

“Yeah.”

“With sugar or-”

“Sui, please.”

The girl serving my order stifles a laugh. “Okay, okay. Coming right up!”

I shake my head and look down. Exhaling a little harder and clicking my tongue. The song Holiday by Green Day starts playing. Huh, what comes next should be Basket Case. “If I taste even the slightest of sweetness I will report you to the owner.”

Warm laughter fills up the serene space between us. Though, not before Sui sticks out her tongue with that cute scrunched up nose. I can only shake my head to it.

Treading my way back to my seat–I say my seat solely because I’ve sat on it for far too many times the cushion has molded into the shape of my bottom–I find it hard to salvage my mind from the clouds. Both literally and figuratively. 

Oof! 

I crash my weight down on the soft surface. Not too hard, of course. Wouldn’t want to have a permanent disability from a fucked up spine. For the record, I’m not that old, but my age does come with this special feature many people call a ‘quarter-life crisis’.

Huff.

The view across the window to my left does seem terrifying. Pitch dark clouds, surely carrying the wrath of Zeus and the likes, holds nothing back against my gaze. Sure I can say that I’m safe within the protection of this cool, crisp air with a subtle jasmine aroma of the cafe. But that’s not to say it succeeds in calming down my slowly rising nape hair. 

Sui walks into my field of vision–barges in, to be exact–holding a tray with a singular cup of iced americano on it.

My head is still in the cloud when I notice a tilting head popping out of the corner of my eye. Thank the Gods for my superhuman reflex for I immediately jolt backwards and raise my hands in a fighting stance. It takes me an embarrassing amount of time to identify Sui with her free hand covering her pretty little giggles.

“Ah, Sui!” go down, my hands!

“What’s with you, seriously,” she forces those words. Her giggles win over it in many attempts. “Anyway, here, americano, large, no sugar,” her eyelids narrow down as she says the last word with an exaggerated spite.

Only for her to burst out laughing immediately after the cold glass touches the table.

“Hahahahahahah! Look at you!”

“Sui…”

“Ohmyohmy, haaah, sorry,” she clears her throat. Once, twice, a laugh breaks through, thrice. “Gotta stay professional you know,” her free hand suddenly moves behind her back before she raises the tray and bows ever so slightly.

“Professional my ass.”

“Hihi!” gone were the acts. “Anyway!” she pulls the seat across, turning it around to sit in the most manly-man position ever. “What’s up? You look troubled.”

My eyelids widen for a fraction of a second, complete with the pupil dilation right at her direction. Then I tighten my jaw and furrow my eyebrows. Lock in. With my hands on the table, I rest my chin on my clamped fists. “Nothing.”

A laughter erupts. “Aw cmon! Who’re you lying to, me? It doesn’t work! Ever~”

Also gone were my acts. “Hehe, thought I’ll try my luck, who knows?”

“Now c’mon! The tea, spill spill!”

“But I ordered coffee though?”

“You know I can smash your face right here right now with the tray right?” the tray is already raised.

Thankfully I raised the white flag first. “Heh, relax,” my stare returns to the world beyond the glass window. “It’s about to rain.”

“...”

I turn my head again. A bit uncharacteristic for her to not give an immediate answer. But before that could happen-

Bonk!

“Awch?!”

“That really doesn’t explain anything dumbass,” Sui is already standing with the recently swinging tray. 

To my absolute surprise, it doesn’t hurt that much. “Rain! I’m afraid of rain!” I exclaim with my hands pointing at the windy environment outside.

“Yeah, so?” she pouts. Her eyes move to the side as she puts the tray on the table and folds her hand.

Right. I can’t really lie in front of her can I? My lips rise in a soft smile as my forehead softens. “Okay, sorry. But I am afraid of rain though.”

She quickly grabs the tray to raise it again. Making me flinch and all. Which earns a laugh from her mouth rather than another smack. So, worth it, I guess?

I carefully go back to my seat. A thunder detonates. No, it’s not her this time. It’s the literal thunder from those scary clouds in the sky. Even Sui is flinching. “Scary, right?”

She doesn’t even bother to look at me during her cautious gesture towards the feeble window. “Well, yeah, that’s not the rain though.”

“It’s about to be one. Anyway, I’m going to Australia next month.”

Sui turns her head towards me. Her eyebrows are raised and her mouth is slightly agape. Her face freezes up exactly like that.

My heart somehow beats painfully fast. I can’t return her stare. Cowardly looking at the floor instead.

“What do you mean?”

“You see, I passed. The interview, the health-test, everything. I’m gonna work, uhm, and live there, Sui.”

“No, seriously. What - do - you - mean?” her voice demands my face. She’s very close to grabbing my chin and making me face her.

I hold her hand before that happens. Her slim, rough, coffee-smelling hand. I can feel her fingers shivering. Her palms are getting colder as they sweat. I’m sorry. But I can’t say anything. Heck, I can barely hold eye contact.

A stalemate. Complete silence from both of us. It feels like time has stopped. But, in the midst of it all, I get to have the thing I’ve been meaning to ask her from the moment I stepped into the cafe.

Her face. No, her entire self for my eyes to indulge. Her long silky hair which always amazes me whenever she runs her fingers through. Her big doe eyes that get exponentially cuter whenever she gives me a stare. Her perfectly shaped nose that often scrunches whenever she’s messing around. Her full lips that seems to have a hypnotizing power since you can never focus on anything else whenever she talks. And of course, her, in the way she’s always so sure of herself.

I intend to etch the sight of her deep into my very soul. Wouldn’t pictures be more effective? One might ask. Well, yes, technically. But if she’s still within my grasp then why would I? I tighten my grip around her hand, which feels strangely more fragile than it was before.