Her eyes shot open once she felt herself wake up. Chaeyoung scrambled out of the comfort of her bed to fish her phone from the discarded flannel on the floor and immediately scrolled through her contacts.
“Oh thank god.” Chaeyoung released a sigh of relief as she threw her head back in the pillows. It wasn’t a dream. The name of Myoui Mina was in her contacts, and she was more than relieved to know that it really did happen. Last night happened and she could still remember every single bit of it.
The memories of last night were still playing in her head. She could still smell the jasmines coming off from Mina, the way her hair flowed as the wind picked up and her smile. That smile. It was breathtaking and equally fatal.
There was something about Mina that made everything so… poetic for her. Mina exuded grace, elegance, and beauty. The perfect example of a muse. As if Aphrodite spent a little more time making Mina to be as perfect as she was.
She could be exaggerating, but she couldn’t deny how overwhelmed she was with the existence of Mina. It could be the world giving her blessings and torturing her at the same time. It being a blessing was obvious. But she knew that it was complete torture that this woman, who was making Chaeyoung bend will was not hers and if their relationship developed, she had to see and witness more of Mina. Though, the agony she had right now was trying to fall back asleep once she realized it was still six in the morning and that her first class was in four hours.
Chaeyoung had thought about leaving Mina a message, maybe asking her if she was able to sleep well or if she was available to meet up within the day, but Chaeyoung hated the idea of being too eager. She had to wait, or maybe if the universe was on her side, they would meet by chance at school. Chaeyoung had to play it cool if they did bump into each other.
Before she could close her eyes once more, she heard a soft knock on her door. She immediately shot up from her bed, looking at the time again.
“That’s odd,” she said to herself. Since she never had any visitors at this hour. It could be the manager of the building; but she knew she already paid off her dues for the room. She rushed to the door and listened for a bit; it was harder for her since her dorm didn't have doors that have peep holes. There was another knock, this time it was louder than the first one. Her curiosity took the best of her and slowly opened the door, trying her best to dispel the idea that it was Mina.
“Let me in, fucker,” Jeongyeon said in a loud whisper.
“What the fuck?” Chaeyoung said, a little disappointed, as she swung the door open. Her friend rushed inside and told her friend to close the door quickly. “What are you doing here? And why are you still in your clothes from last night?”
Which was a dumb question, because Chaeyoung knew that her friend spent the night with another lady. Jeongyeon immediately walked to Chaeyoung’s pantry, grabbed herself a glass of water and downed it in one gulp. “God, I needed that.” She exhaled and placed the glass in the sink. “Apparently Nayeon stays here as well.”
Chaeyoung’s eyes went wide. Recalling that her best friend was practically eating face with their new friend last night. It started to make sense. “Oh wow. You actually scored with her.”
“Yeah dude,” Jeongyeon said with a smirk on her face, dragging herself to the couch and flopping on it. She raised her head and hand, pointing at her friend. “Best. Sex. So far.”
“I’m glad that my best friend is having the best sex ever and is rubbing it in my face,” Chaeyoung responded, walking towards the couch as well and slapped Jeongyeon’s feet off of it, sitting on the same spot. “Are you going to call her back or is this another one-night stand?”
Jeongyeon was quiet for a bit, she sat up and took off her jacket, revealing the large writing on her arm. It was a phone number. “I think Nayeon wants to see me again.”
Chaeyoung couldn’t help but make an impressed face, looking at it closely. “Yep, that’s a legit number.” She couldn’t help but look at the big, blocked characters written on her friend’s arm. “Did she use a fucking marker on this?”
Jeongyeon rubbed her eyes and took a look at it again. “It seems so.” She let out a small laugh. “I might actually call her or something.”
“For real?” Chaeyoung looked unconvinced. “You never say that about a girl you hook up with.”
They both laugh and nod their heads at the same time. “Anyway, what the fuck happened to you last night?”
“What about me?” She tried to play dumb, knowing that she would still tell Jeongyeon. She couldn’t help but feel bad since Jeongyeon called dibs on trying to hit on Mina first. “I left early.”
“Yeah with Mina,” Jeongyeon said with a knowing smirk. “Before we left, Nayeon told me she saw you guys from the window.” She grabbed Chaeyoung and wrapped her arm around her again.
Chaeyoung blushed again, thinking about what happened to her last night with Mina. “I just walked her back to her apartment, that’s it.”
“That’s it? No going up to her room and making her realize what she’s missing out on?” She probed, receiving a punch on the arm from her smaller friend. At least Chaeyoung knew there were no hard feelings.
She could only sigh at the imagination; it would be nice to be intimate with Mina. But she wanted to know more about the girl, she had no intentions to have something shallow. “No, I mean—I really don’t know if she likes guys or girls yet.” She felt herself deflate from the words that came out of her mouth. “But I think I like her, that’s for sure.”
“Nice.” Jeongyeon simply said, fixing her hair. “Now your mission is converting her and then getting in her pants.”
“Dude.” She laughed at the last statement. “I really don’t know, but I want to get to know her more. Maybe things will develop from there, who knows?”
With a sigh, Jeongyeon patted her friend on the shoulder. “Here we are again, my best friend’s conquest for love is never ending,” she said laying back down on the couch.
“And what’s so wrong with that?”
“Nothing,” she immediately said, looking at her friend. Jeongyeon’s expression changed, she sat back up and gave a serious look. “It’s just—this is why I don’t want to fall in love.”
Chaeyoung knew where this was going; this wasn’t the first warning she’s had.
“You get your hopes up over something that might or might not happen.” She continued. “And then what? They don’t reciprocate your love and you’re left with all these invested feelings and what’s left of you?”
She wasn’t wrong. That could definitely happen. But maybe it was not the case when they found the right person. Plus, Chaeyoung was far from being in love with Mina. Things could change, that was for sure. But she wouldn't know unless she tried, and she definitely wanted to try with Mina. She had to.
“Yeah, yeah,” Chaeyoung said dismissively, shoving her friend away from her. “Now go take a bath or something, I can smell sex all over you.”
Her friend laughed and got up. Luckily, Jeongyeon would always have an emergency change of clothes in Chaeyoung’s dorm room. This was a common occurrence for them, and after almost three years of the same pattern they knew what to do when someone was in a pinch. She watched her friend walk over to the spare closet that was made especially for her and then walked towards the bathroom. The moment she heared Jeongyeon turn on the shower, she treaded back to her bed and thew herself on her pillows.
The words were stuck in her head. Chaeyoung didn’t deny that there was a chance that these feelings she had could develop into something deeper and that it might end up not being returned, to her dismay. She didn't know what would happen if it did, and she wouldn’t know if Jeongyeon was going to be there when it does again. Things were changing, and people did as well.
The rising anxiety was creeping up inside her, but she tried her best to shrug it off. Feeling more optimistic with the idea that she could always start from zero. Love was something that could wait, and if it happened, it was meant to be. She could only wish that things could actually happen between her and Mina. One could hope.
A week after
“Bro, can you place these records back on the shelves when you’re free?” Mincheol, her co-worker said, pointing at the stack of vintage records that was sitting on the counter. He didn’t wait for a response and walked to the back of the store.
Chaeyoung could only give a weak smile and walked over to the stack to start her task.
Since this school year had more breaks than before, Chaeyoung decided to take a part time job when she had the time. Luckily she managed to get one at this small record shop that was surprisingly still running, and the owner was kind enough to let her work anytime she could. She usually came in late afternoon and stayed until the store closed late at night. These were days where Jeongyeon would tell her that she had practical exams to deal with and that they weren’t able to meet up after their classes.
On occasion, Jeongyeon would come by and hang out there until Chaeyoung was able to leave. The best part about the shop was that there was a section where you can place in some records, CDs or cassette tapes and listen to through the small headphones the owner has left behind. Sometimes it was refreshing to go back in time and listen to music the old-fashioned way.
This was one of the things that Chaeyoung wanted to do when she was younger. Music and art were such a huge part of her growing up. She was lucky enough that her dad let her borrow an old mp3 player when she was in grade school; only if she promised to listen to it on breaks or after class. Which helped her tremendously when trying to block out the noise from her surroundings; also to ignore the insults she received from her classmates when she walked by the halls or was exiting the school to walk home.
She didn’t know much about any artists or anything, so she only listened to what her dad placed in. It may be from the early 80s or 90s, but it did wonders in helping her calm down. It inspired her to become an artist herself one day. But as the years went by, and after meeting Jeongyeon, that mp3 player was no longer needed. She still kept it for safekeeping, it was one of her most prized possessions.
Chaeyoung did draw a lot as well. When she wasn't studying she would take out an old sketch pad she found in her house and would start doodling whatever came into her head. The soft tones of ballad music play through the earphones as she took her pencil and let the music drag her strokes as she pleased.
It was her escape. Back when she wasn’t able to tell anyone from her family about the struggles she had in school, she could only rely on herself and her art to ease her from the pain she was feeling.
Mincheol interrupted her thoughts and stood next to her, already ready to head out. “Do I leave the keys here and you’ll close up shop?” He said unamused as usual.
“Yeah.” She said while placing in the record she had in her hand and sliding it in the designated shelf. “I don’t need to wait for your old man anymore?”
He shrugged and turned to the door. “He said he’s gonna turn in soon. But he trusts you enough to secure the place.” Before he exited, he turned to her again. “But if you need to leave immediately you can close early.”
With that he waved her goodbye and left the store. Mincheol was a cool guy, despite his demeanor. It was a surprise for her with the weight of trust the owner had. She only started to work with them for almost a month, but she figured it was because he was known Chaeyoung since she was a freshman. She spent an insane amount of free time at this shop. The old man knew a lot about her. So it seemed right for him to hire her as a part timer.
Mincheol had no opinion whatsoever. They all agreed that he didn’t have to quit his office job just to stay and help out with his dad’s store, but he insisted on staying maybe because his dad was getting weaker, and he was left here all alone. Which Chaeyoung thought was really nice of him, feeling somewhat bittersweet about his relationship with his own father. Making her miss hers even more.
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