The dinner

“So how is your life going now that you overcome your crush on Jihyo?”, you risked to choke up on your drink at the question.

Sana was not the type of girl who think too much about what to say or ask. It’s not that she was naive, you learned that it was only a facade, it was nothing more than an escape rope. Sana was brilliant during conversations, and you were one of the few over the years who was able to match her ability. Maybe that’s why she invited you to dinner.

“Well, you know how it is: being part of this industry is something that don’t leave you that much time to ponder. You meet thousands of people, you challenge new activities everyday, you spend so much time out of your comfort zone that you forget to have one in the first place”, you reply, weakly hitting your chest to control the cough attack. “But you know this better than me, you’re a veteran, compared to me”.

“And there was not anyone who helped you to forget her?”, she asked, once again, softly resting her chin against the palm of her hand.

You chuckled and shook your head. “Are you asking that because you want your credits?”, you teased her but she simply nodded and gave you the most adorable Bambo eyes. “I guess you’re not wrong tho: working with you really helped me to enjoy my days again. So, thank you, Sana”.

You lifted the crystal glass in front you, waiting for Sana to replicate your movement. That sound of glasses meeting echoed slightly in the noisy and elegant restaurant, but everyone seemed to busy on their own food to notice.

“Thank you for being such a good partner in crime, I had so much fun with our back and forth”, she brough the glass against her plump lips and sent down some of the red win contained in it. “I wonder if there is room for something more between the two of us”.

You playfully rolled your eyes back and just shook your head, cutting another piece from the steak in your shining white plate.

“What? Are you not interested in me? Am I not pretty enough to look desirable in your eyes?”, she knew that was not the reason. She was provoking you to get a reaction. She wanted you to get exposed.

You sighed, cleaning your mouth with the decorated napkin. “We both know the answer doesn’t rely on your appearance. You’re the finest woman I have ever seen in my life, a literal goddess, everytime I work with you, whatever it’s on music or variety shows, I can’t help but wonder how much lucky my eyes are”.

“Then if you like me that much why don’t you ask me out? Why don’t seek the chance? I thought we already passed the shyness phase”, her tone was still playful but she was now squinting her eyes, as if she was not totally satisfied with your answer.

“Sana…respectfully, I really love our dynamic. I talk about the way we flirt in such a natural way, because it’s fun, it’s thrilling, but, most important, it’s not serious. It’s something I do because there are no consequences or aftermath, it’s nothing more than a silly game between us”, your voice was calm, your tone not rushed. You felt like when you were ready for an oral test in school.

“Oh, so that’s the matter: you don’t want serious business. You’re still in the just sex era. You could have said that earlier”, she snorted, looking away in disbelief.

“It’s the total opposite”, you corrected her, finally moving your eyes up to meet hers. Her eyebrow was lifted, signal that she was confused and was waiting for a futher explanation. “Sana, you’re too much for me. I would not be able to accept that someone like you wants to be with someone like me. Do you follow me?”.

“Honestly no, to me it seems you’re making up things to seems cooler, but I might be wrong, try to explain yourself better, because so far your words makes no sense”, Sana at that point lost interest in the food, instead she was playing with her nails. She was getting frustrated because the conversation was not going in the direction she imagined.

You placed fork and knife in the half-empty plate. “Listen, being your partner in life would be a dream, I’m pretty sure you would make the happiest person in the universe and that would be my happily ever after. But this scenario has to remain a dream, I don’t have intention to pursue an impossible path”.

“Impossible? But if I’m being the one who suggested to go from co-worker to something else? Did you listen to me or was your attention only on the meat?”, she snapped her fingers a couple of times, almost trying to wake you up. Now she was irritated.

“Oh, I heard you loud and clear. The problem here is that you didn’t like my reaction to your suggestion”, never in your life you could have imagined to look at Sana herself with such a deadpane stare.

The japanese girl crossed her arms, almost hugging herself to shield her ego from your behaviour. She could not get fully angry because: a)you two were in public and she could not afford to make a scene; b)you did nothing wrong. And yet she was still pissed.

“Let me tell you something: now we have three choices. We can go back to our usual playful and flirty banter, so our career can keep to thrive. Then, second option, you can keep pushing this selfish wish of yours and I’m not a fan of that, because it can only end badly. And, last, you can still push for something more serious but with an honest heart. This is the biggest question mark, because I can’t handle you in everyday life, and you can’t handle me…in other ways”