Suffocation

 "So," Yeji, starts, staring up at the moon, taking another drag of her cigarette. "This is it. The end of our final year. We've survived the exams and everything. We're almost done."

You glance up, not quite sharing her sentiment, watching the smoke leave her mouth and drift upwards. The way her pink hair shines in the moonlight. "Yeah, I guess."

She smiles, looking back over at you, leaning on the railing and then staring out at the city skyline. "You ever think about what would happen when I'm not here?"

"Here, where? The balcony? It's not going anywhere."

Yeji rolls her eyes, taking another hit and holding the cigarette between her fingers. "Not the balcony, idiot. College. You know what I mean."

You take a sip of your drink, one that's a bit too strong for your taste. "No, I don't. Please enlighten me."

"Stop being so difficult," Yeji grumbles, looking right at you. "Once we graduate. What then? Do we keep this up? I can't imagine a life where I'm not blowing you or having my legs spread for you, but, like—it's the real world. We're not going to live like broke, twenty-something year olds forever. Not gonna be able to go over to your place at midnight and let you rail me whenever I'm horny."

"Why the fuck not? You've been doing it for years now. I haven't exactly gotten sick of it yet."

She laughs, taking a long puff and releasing it. "But what if you do? Or if something happens," Yeji sighs, shaking her head.

"What do you mean if something happens to you? Yeji, what—"

"Nothing, nothing at all. I just mean—what if you don't want me anymore. If one day you decide this isn't worth it."

You scoff, finishing the last of your drink. "That's not gonna happen, Yeji. The hell has gotten into you?"

"You don't know that," she says, putting the cigarette out on the concrete and letting the remains fall below.

"Yes, I do. We've been together since sophomore year. We're graduating, and I've been living the best four years of my life. With you."

Turning her head, she doesn't look quite satisfied. "I'm just saying. Things change. We're not going to be these horny college kids anymore. What if I had to move away or something? Like, what if one day, I was gone and—"

"You're not fucking going anywhere, Yeji," you say, turning and cupping her cheeks. She doesn't flinch or turn away.

"I'm not. But what if one day I do and you have to find someone else to be the one that fucks you whenever you want? Unless you wanna hook up with Yuna every once in a while. She'd totally be up for it. And Chaeryeong, definitely."

"Yeji, I can't believe we're having this conversation. How much did you drink?"

"Just one," she says, holding a finger up. "Okay, maybe two. I just—I love you, okay? And I don't wanna lose this. Ever."

"Then you're not going to, because I'm not gonna let you slip through my fingers," you say, pulling her closer and pressing your lips against hers. "I love you, Yeji. You're stuck with me forever. So, stop saying stupid things."

Yeji smiles, but not the one you know. Not the playful, cocky one, the kind where she's ready to make some sort of lewd comment. Not the soft, cute one either. Not even the seductive, lust-filled grin she flashes when she's about to tear your clothes off.

"Yeji, is everything—"

"Just kiss me again," she says, pulling you closer. "Everything is fine. It's fine. Promise. I'm not going anywhere."

"Yeji, what are you doing?" you ask, entering the room. The lights are bright, almost blinding, and a tripod stands next to the bed. A camera is set up, pointed at the bed. She's lying there, completely nude, wearing a pair of fuzzy, pink handcuffs and nothing else.

"Oh, hey. Took you long enough."

"Did I miss the part where you were gonna explain why the fuck there's a camera set up and recording?"

"Well," she starts, sitting up from the bed. "We're graduating soon. And, you know, this has been fun. All the stuff we've done, everything we've tried."

"Uh-huh," you say, taking a step forward and trying to focus on something other than the way her body looks right now. "If I didn't know any better I'd think you were about to break up with me."

Yeji scoffs. "No, dummy. Just the opposite. I love you and all that, and I know this is going to sound crazy, but—what if we made a video. Like, a sex tape. For us. A memento, a reminder of all the good times we've had together."

You can't help but laugh. "A sex tape. For us. Yeji, you can't be serious."

"I'm completely serious," she replies, shifting on her knees. "Just think about it—you and me, naked, fucking and making a little memory. It'll be something special, something hot, and something only we get to enjoy."

"Yeji, if this is your idea of a graduation present, you could've just bought a gift card."

"It's not. Look, just sit down and listen. Okay?"

You roll your eyes, knowing full well you're gonna go along with whatever Yeji wants. "You're naked. Wearing handcuffs. On my bed. And there's a camera filming. You expect me to just listen? After all that?"

"What, do you want me to suck your dick first? I mean, I can, if that's what it takes."

"God, you're impossible," you say, moving to sit down on the edge of the bed.

"Yeah, and you love it," Yeji replies, grabbing your hand and guiding you back onto the mattress, taking a seat on your lap. "So, what do you say?"

"Do I even have a choice?"

Yeji smiles, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. "No. You know I'm stubborn as fuck. Plus, I'm already handcuffed. Would be a shame if we had to get out the ball gag too."

"As if I'd ever want to shut that pretty mouth up. Fine, let's do this, then."

"Really?" Yeji asks, face lighting up.

"What do you expect me to say, Yeji? You know how fucking hard it is to resist you, especially when you're sitting next to me, naked, and pretty as hell."

Yeji laughs, shaking her head and pushing you back into the pillows. "It'll be hot, I promise. Plus, it'll help me get off whenever I'm in the mood. And you can watch it and jerk off when I'm gone, or whatever."

"That sounds more like a present for you."

"Shut up. It's for both of us. Now if you don't mind, kitten needs a good fucking."

"Please don't ever say that again."

She laughs, shifting to straddle you and waiting patiently. "Meow."

"Is that—fucking, god, is that what I really look like when I cum?" Yeji asks, her eyes glued to the laptop screen, watching herself climax.

"You've never watched yourself before?"

Yeji shakes her head. "What, you think I just go around shooting porn all the time? This is my first time seeing me on camera. But damn, it was fucking hot. Holy shit. Like, holy fuck. Watching myself squirt, oh god, I'm like fucking possessed."