Stay

Her eyes were locked onto yours. As she holds your gaze, you take your time to look at her face; to really look at her . The mole on her lower left cheek, the shallow dimples that appears when she smirked, even the crinkle in her nose. You try to memorize the bits of her that make her, her. You have to. This may be the last time you will lay your eyes on her. She finally speaks.

“Give me a reason to stay.”

Two weeks earlier

Jimin. Her name was Jimin. It is impossible that this girl, who was so peculiar, could ever have a name that mean gem of knowledge. She did the weirdest things like taking photos of armchairs, or eating hotdogs with a sauce made of a combination of cream cheese and strawberry jam. Like seriously, who does that? But no matter how odd she is, she is Jimin. As You get ready for the graduation rehearsal, you couldn’t help but remember the first time you met her.

You are sitting alone in the cafeteria when you feel a tap on your shoulder. You turn and look to find a girl standing beside you.

“Hi, do you mind if I sit with you? There aren’t any other available tables.”

 “Uhm, yeah sure,” you say, taking your earphones off.

 “Thanks!” she beams. She sits down across from you, putting her meal tray on the table. There is a hotdog sandwich on the tray, along with a can of coke, a small packet each of cream cheese and strawberry jam. You have no idea what those last two condiments were doing there.

 “My name’s Jimin, by the way.” she says.

 “Y/N,” You reply. You weren’t much for conversation. You were always kind of a little shy. Okay, maybe more than just a little. She tries to say something, but you think she notices you weren’t up for conversation. You never understood why you have to introduce yourself when you share tables. It’s so… unnecessary.

 You take a bite out of your burger, trying to be careful not to be too messy. You are around a girl after all. As You savor the genius that is grilled beef, you notice she is spreading the cream cheese and strawberry jam on the hotdog. You freeze mid-bite. Who the hell does that? She must have noticed the confusion on your face because when you look up, she looks incredibly amused.

 “You should try it,” she suggests. And then she smirked. When she did, you notice the dimples that form on her cheeks. Something softens in the air – a warmth you couldn’t quite put a finger on. You notice how droopy her eyes look; in a tired, beautiful sort of way. You suspect that she notices you are staring a little too intently. You panic. You grab the hotdog and take a big bite. Bad idea.

“It’s good, isn’t it?” she says in between her fits of laughter.

 “How can you stand to eat that?” you force yourself to say. You are coughing really badly and your eyes were watering.

 “It tastes amazing! What are you talking about?” She motions for the hotdog. You gladly hand it to her. She finishes the rest of it in about ten seconds flat. You must have looked really grossed out because she is smiling slyly as she wipes her face with a napkin.

 “So Y/N, do you always stare at girls so intensely?”

 “I wasn’t staring,” you protest. “It’s rude not to look at someone when you speak to them.” 

 “You don’t have to lie, I don’t blame you if you think I look pretty,” she says while laughing.

 “Shut up” You couldn’t help but smile. There is a real sense of humor on this one. She smiles back too. Not the coy smirk or the mischievous smile she had earlier. This one was genuine. It is was heavenly.

 “Yoo Jimin,” she says as she extends her hand to you.

 “Y/N Gener.” You reach out to shake her welcoming hand.

 “Well Y/N Gener, do you have any plans today or would you like to accompany me to the beach?”

 You were surprised by the sudden invitation. You just met, is she really asking to you go to the beach? Is this one of those scenarios your parents warned you about when you were a kid, you know the one where you shouldn’t go with strangers or something terrible would happen? But the more you look at her, the warmer you felt. At that moment, you knew. She had you. She had you with that damned smile.

 “Yeah, I’m free,” you say.

Her face lights up. “Let’s go then!”

You make your way to the auditorium taking the long route there. You are in no hurry. In two days, it will be time to leave all of this behind. You will no longer see the vast lawns towered by large trees where students will spend mornings and afternoons. A warm summer breeze kisses your cheeks as you trudge through the worn-out path leading to the main building.

It feels kind of surreal how you will leave what was your world for the past four years. Even now with the end in sight, it is hard to believe that you are less than forty-eight hours from graduating. It feels exhilarating and frightening all at the same time.

You pass by the Fine Arts Building where you and Jimin had spent many nights developing her still photos. She showed you how to properly handle film in a darkroom. As much as you loved her photos, you loved it more when she paints.

The rain is pouring like crazy outside. The University declares a suspension of classes in expectation of a typhoon. Most students are in a good mood. It’s not everyday you get to miss class for legitimate reasons. You’re bored as hell. You try to call Jimin to see if she wants to watch “Friends” with you but she wasn’t picking up her phone. You try again, but still no answer. You decide to go to her room

You take the elevator and travel five floors down to the ground floor. You exit the lift and make your way out of your dormitory building. You pull open your umbrella and step into the rain. You’re walking really fast just in case the rain pours any harder than it already does. You sprint the last few meters that lead to Jimin’s apartment building. You take the stairwell since her room is only on the third floor. You practically lounge up the flight of stairs to save time.

You knock on room 304. You wait for a couple of seconds, but there is no answer. You knock again, this time a little bit louder. You hear a clutter of noise from inside. The door swings open, and Jimin’s head pops out of the room.

 “Hey, wanna watch Friends?” You ask as you wave your hard drive in front of her.

 “Uhm… I’m actually kind of in the middle of something right now.” She opens the door to let you in. “But you can watch them on my TV if you want to.”

 “Yeah, sure.”

You step into her room, closing the door behind you. She grabs the hard drive and plugs it into to TV. She motions for you to sit. You nod and arrange yourself comfortable on the couch.

 “I tried to call you, but you weren’t picking up,” you say.

 “Oh. Sorry, was just a little busy,” she replies.

 “What are you doing anyway?” You ask curiously.

She points to a canvas across the room. It wasn’t finished, but you could make out the image of an old couple. The painting kind of bugs you. There is something about it that look so familiar.

 “What you’re painting, is that the photo of...,”

 “The couple I took a picture of in the park last week? Yeah, it is,” she says, cutting you off. “I’m using the negative though, trying out a new way to paint. Anyway, you can just go watch your show while I finish this up.”

 “Yeah, sure. No problem.” You grab the remote and press play. You click the episode where Ross and Rachel get married in Vegas. You are really invested for the first couple of minutes, but you couldn’t help but watch Jimin paint.

She looks so calm, so peaceful. She remains silent while she paints. You remain still as you watch her work. She holds her brush to the canvas with such certainty it becomes an extension of her arm. Each stroke is brilliant, perfecting a masterpiece. You didn’t notice yourself holding your breath as you watch her. You hear Chandler tell a joke in the background, but you couldn’t care less. You are captivated watching her paint the same way painting captivates her. You feel the warmth in your heart again.

Here, in her room, she is not afraid to lay bare herself onto canvas, to put a portion of herself into her art. As she continued to work, you understand what true passion is. Her passion for painting makes her strong, vulnerable, spontaneous, and precise all at once. It makes her real. You see the real Yoo Jimin. Without all the notion of a peculiar, out-going, care-free girl. She is just as simple as you are – you both love something with an intense passion. For her, it is the arts. For you, it is her.