so tell me you love me (only for tonight).

Ningning spent a lot of time imagining their reunion. It had been so long since she last saw him, long enough that memories had begun to blur around the edges. That she knew as much.

What she could never have imagined was this.

There he was, standing in the middle of her apartment as though he belonged there, waiting for her to come home from the office.

For a moment, all she could do was stare. Wonder if all of this was a figment of her imagination.

But there he stood, in the middle of her apartment. A black fitted suit hugging his frame perfectly, tie hanging loosely, top button of his shirt undone. His hair - usually slicked neatly back, not a strand out of place - had fallen messy across his forehead, framing his face in a way that made him look even more devastatingly gorgeous.

Caught up in her feelings, Ningning almost forgot that he’d essentially broken into her home.

“Are you going to keep staring,” he drawled in the familiar deep voice, “or are you going to say something?”

God.

She had missed his voice.

“Well, this is certainly an odd way of trying to get my attention,” she said by way of greeting, letting the door close behind her.

The corner of his mouth tugged upward as he slowly looked her over, dark eyes drinking her in with an intensity that made heat creep up her spine.

“Well, I tried calling,” he said, raising an eyebrow slightly. “You ignored me.”

Ningning scoffed softly, setting her keys down by the door. “Most people take that as a hint.”

“You and I both know perfectly well that I’m not ‘most people’.”

There it was.

That same unbearable cockiness, the kind she used to find so sexy. But now? The only emotion she could feel was anger. She was furious at him.

She crossed her arms in an attempt to steady herself more than anything else. “You still haven’t explained why you’re in my apartment.”

His expression didn’t falter. If anything, her anger only seemed to amuse him. He took a slow step forward, polished shoes quiet against the hardwood floor. “I wanted to see you.”

“That’s not a real explanation.”

“Maybe not, but it’s the truth.”

Ningning let out a deep sigh, shaking her head as she shrugged off her coat and kicked off her heels. “So what, you think you can disappear for months, ignore every message I sent, every call, and then suddenly decide to break into my apartment because you decided you ‘wanted to see me’?”

For the first time since she stepped through the door, something in his expression shifted. Subtle, but there. The amusement twinkling in his eyes dimmed slightly, replaced by something duller. He exhaled through his nose, gaze dropping briefly to the floor before returning to her face. “It isn’t what you think.”

Ningning laughed once, devoid of all humour. “Is that right?”

His jaw tightened.

“You’re bold, breaking in here, telling me you want to see me. I should call the cops.”

He tilted his head slightly at that. “But you won’t.”

“Hm,” she hummed dryly, walking past him toward the kitchen. “You seem awfully confident for someone trespassing.”

She didn’t need to look to know he was following behind her. His presence had always been like that, heavy, consuming, impossible to ignore.

She busied herself with pointless movements, setting her bag down on the counter, rummaging inside even though she didn’t really need anything from it. Anything to avoid looking at him.

Looking at him was too dangerous. Looking at him made it far too easy to remember things she had spent months trying desperately to forget.

The way his hands felt on her waist. The sound of his laugh late at night, reserved only for her. The way he used to look at her and truly understand her, like no one else could.

“You’re angry,” he observed quietly.

She let out a short laugh, turning around to face him, bodies inches apart. “Gee, what gave it away?”

“Yizh-”

“No.” She slapped him hard across the face. “You do not get to call me that after disappearing.”

For a second, neither of them moved.

The sting of her palm lingered against his skin, sharp enough that she could feel it throbbing in her own hand. His head had turned slightly with the force of it, dark hair falling further across his forehead.

And that’s when she saw it, the change in his eyes. The darkness she knew had always been there.

His hand came up slowly, thumb brushing against the corner of his mouth where she’d hit him. Not shocked.

Just watching her, eyes unblinking.

Ningning hated that even now, standing this close to him, all she could think about was how good he felt inside her. How his kisses made her weak in the knees. How his presence filled a room, suffocating, yet all she wanted to do was drown in him.

“You done?” he asked quietly.

“Not even close.” She tried to push him away, but he didn’t move. The space between them just got smaller.

His gaze didn’t leave hers for even a second.

The room started to feel claustrophobic, air thick with tension and the faint scent of rain still clinging to his clothes. Ningning could feel her pulse everywhere. In her head, in her throat, in her fingertips, in the space between them where he refused to let her escape.

“Move,” she whispered, unable to muster up the venom she wanted in her voice.

His eyes flicked briefly to her mouth, his face moving closer to hers, their lips almost touching. “Make me.”

Ningning’s breath caught.

God, she hated the way her body still reacted to him.

“Move,” she repeated, even weaker this time.

A faint smile ghosted across his mouth. His hand lifted slowly, giving her more than enough time to pull away, before he gently wrapped his fingers around her neck. “You’re shaking.”

Her breath hitched at the feeling of his hand around her throat. “You don’t get to touch me like that anymore.”

His eyes held hers steadily. “Then why aren’t you stopping me?”

Because she couldn’t. Because this was the first time in months he’d been close enough to touch. Because despite everything, the most reckless part of her still wanted him, wanted him to destroy her like no one else ever could.

“Let me show you how sorry I am.” He released his hand from her neck, turning her around and pressing his full body against hers from behind.

Ningning’s breath stuttered as he pressed against her back, one of his hands flattened against the counter beside her, trapping her there without truly forcing her, while the other lingered at her waist.

Slowly, he lowered himself to his knees, dragging her skirt down her legs in the same movement. His breath was warm through the thin fabric of her blouse, fingers grazing the backs of her thighs as the skirt pooled around her ankles.

She gripped the edge of the counter so tightly her knuckles ached.

Every instinct in her screamed at her to stop this. To shove him away, to remind herself of the nights she’d spent staring at her phone waiting for replies that never came, crying herself to sleep, of the humiliation of loving someone who could vanish without explanation.

But then his lips kissed slowly up her legs, firm and familiar, and every coherent thought dissolved into heat.

“You always do this,” she whispered shakily, staring down at the marble countertop instead of him. “You disappear, then come back and act everything is fine, like you can touch me and everything just-” Her breath caught as his lips brushed softly against the inside of her thigh. “-goes back to normal.”

“Nothing about how I feel about you feels normal.”

The honesty in his voice startled her more than the touch itself.

He was still kneeling behind her when she finally found the strength to speak again. “Then tell me why you left.”

The words came out smaller than she intended, full of pain.

Behind her, she felt him go still.

“You don’t get to touch me like this,” she whispered, voice trembling, “when you can’t be honest with me.”

For a long moment, he said nothing.

Then slowly, his hands slid up her legs, lingering on her waist as he rose back to his feet behind her. His chest pressed against her spine once more, solid and warm, his head dipping until his mouth hovered near her ear.

“If I told you the truth, you’d hate me even more than you do now.”

Ningning let out a dry laugh. “I already hate you.”

“No.” His voice softened. “You missed me.”

Her eyes squeezed shut in defeat, because he was right.

Even after everything, some sad little part of her always looked for him, yearned for him. Still checked her phone late at night hoping for a message, a sign of life. Still dreamed about him showing up at her door exactly like this.

“You disappeared,” she said again, weaker now. “Do you have any idea how stupid that made me feel?”

His hand tightened slightly at her waist. “Yes.”

Something in the sincerity in the way he said it made her turn her head, eyes meeting his over her shoulder. For the first time since she saw him again, his words felt different. His voice was full of guilt, with a hint of sadness.

“I wanted to come back,” he admitted quietly. “Every day. There isn’t a second where you didn’t cross my mind.”

“Then why didn’t you?”

He stepped away from her, the loss of his warmth worse than she could’ve imagined. She turned around to face him. “Because the people I work for don’t let me walk away whenever I want.”

A chill crept down her spine. “What does that even mean?”

“I think you know exactly what I mean.”

She did.

There had always been parts of him she never fully understood. Late-night disappearances, bruises he could never give a proper explanation for. The way dangerous men seemed to know his name. The phone calls he’d take in other rooms with his voice lowered, almost whispering.

She just never pushed hard enough, because she thought if she loved him hard enough, one day he’d truly open up to her.

“You could’ve told me something,” she said softly, reaching out for him.

He lifted her onto the counter, wanting to be face to face with her. “I couldn’t.”

“I loved you, I would’ve understood.”

He rested his forehead against hers before speaking again. “I would’ve hoped you knew me well enough to understand that I wouldn’t leave you unless I had no choice.”

Ningning stared at him, and suddenly, he looked different. Not just beautiful, but tired. Like the last few months had beaten something out of him, taken something away from him.

“You hurt me,” she admitted quietly.

His eyes closed briefly at that, tear rolling down the side of his face. “I know.”

The honesty in his voice hurt more than she cared to admit. Before she could stop herself, she closed the space between them and kissed him. The kiss hit hard, like two cars colliding at an intersection.

Months of anger and longing crashed between them all at once, her fingers knotting tightly in the front of his shirt as she pulled him closer, desperate. He made a rough sound against her mouth, hands immediately finding her waist like muscle memory, like he’d been starving for this too.

God, she hated that he still kissed her like he knew her better than anyone else ever could.

“You’re wearing too much,” she said, pulling at his belt, fingers too shaky to properly unbuckle it.

“Prove it to me, show me you missed me like you said you did, baby.”

He was quiet, words trapped in his throat, but he obliged. He pulled his shirt off, tie and all, leaving him shirtless and damp with sweat. “You’re overdressed, too.”

Ningning’s breath hitched at the sight of him.

Heat rolled off his skin, chest rising and falling heavily, dark hair damp at the temples from either rain or tension, maybe both. The expensive black slacks still hung low on his hips, belt half undone from where she’d fumbled with it moments before, but now all she could focus on was the way he was looking at her.

Like she was something he’d been dying to have.

Ningning wrapped her hand around the hem of her blouse and swiftly pulled it over her head. In one swift pull, she was exposed before him in nothing but her nicest underwear, having chosen not to wear a bra that day.

She watched his chest rise and fall. “C’mere, baby. Kiss me.”

Momentarily, he stood frozen. The image before him was one he thought he’d never be able to see again.

“Don’t make me beg.”

And with those words, he quickly closed the space between them, planting himself between her legs and kissing her with more fervour than ever before.

His kiss was all desperation now. Not teasing or smug, just pure hunger. Like the months apart had hollowed him out from the inside, leaving behind nothing but this unbearable need for her.

Ningning tangled her fingers in his hair, pulling him impossibly closer as his hands slid along her thighs, gripping tightly enough to leave warmth blooming beneath his touch. Every kiss felt bruising in the best way. Messy and breathless, full of everything neither of them had managed to say.

His lips left hers, slowly making their way down her neck, stealing her already shaky breath. Lower and lower until he reached her breasts. The contrast of his hot mouth and the cool air drove her insane. She could feel his hardness against her thigh. 

His mouth lingered there just long enough to make her shiver.

Ningning’s fingers tightened in his hair, gently pulling as he kissed slowly across the curve of her chest, reverent one second and devastating the next. Every brush of his lips felt calculated, like he remembered every single thing that unravelled her.

Maybe he did.

And maybe that was the problem.

He slid down her body, slowly sinking to his knees, licking a stripe from her navel to her clit. She gasped at the sudden contact. She felt the ghost of a smile cross his lips, but not for long. His tongue, hard and hot, made quick work of undoing her. Panties still on, teasing.

Ningning made a move to remove her panties, to feel his touch skin to skin, but his hands reached up and pinned her wrists.

“Ah-ah baby, no touching. I’m going to savour this,”

After what felt like hours, but was more like seconds, he finally released her hands. His mouth moved purposefully down to her core.

His mouth hovered there for a moment, warm breath seeping through the thin fabric and making her entire body tense in anticipation.

Ningning looked down at him, chest rising unevenly.

Even kneeling at her feet, there was nothing submissive about him.

His fingers hooked beneath the waistband of her panties, dragging them down agonisingly slowly, eyes never leaving hers as more and more skin was exposed to him.

“You’re so unbelievably beautiful.”

Ningning swallowed hard. “You talk way too much.”

A faint smile tugged at his mouth.

Then he finally kissed her.

Just one slow, open-mouthed kiss against her that made her eyes roll back instantly. “Oh-”

“Needy,” he muttered, dragging two fingers over the wet mess she’d made. “I think you missed me.”

“Just shut u-,” she began to say, cut off when his tongue dove back into her.

His hands tightened around her thighs immediately, his tongue moving with terrifying familiarity, like he still remembered every reaction, every weakness, every little sound she tried to hide.

And God, he did.

Rain thundered against the windows while her breathing grew louder and louder, mixing with the quiet sounds he pulled from her so easily. The kitchen felt too hot now, too small, filled entirely with him.

“You taste so good.”

Ningning’s breath caught sharply, fingers tightening against the countertop. The praise should’ve irritated her. Instead it just made her wetter.

He closed his lips around her clit, and she saw stars. She could feel the tension building in her gut, muscles tightening. “I’m close,” she whimpered.

His mouth tightened around her clit as the words left her.

“Beg for it,” he whispered against her skin, voice laced with satisfaction.

Ningning’s thighs trembled around his shoulders, fingers slipping against the marble countertop as she fought to keep herself grounded. The words made her breath hitch.

“Beg for it,” he repeated, slower this time, mouth brushing against her inner thigh instead of where she needed him most.

The bastard knew exactly what he was doing to her.

“I hate you.”

A soft laugh vibrated against her skin. “And I love you.”

His tongue dragged over her again, slow and deliberate enough to make her hips jerk helplessly toward him.

“Please,” she gasped, tears in her eyes, before pride could stop her.

That sound made something tick within him.

His hands gripped her thighs tighter, holding her open as he kissed her deeper, harder now, all patience disappearing. Ningning’s head tipped back instantly, spine arching as heat coiled painfully tight in her stomach.

Seconds later, she fell apart.

The release hit her like a wave breaking straight through her chest.

His name tore from her throat in a breathless cry as her entire body locked around him, trembling violently while his hands held her steady through all of it.

“That’s my girl,”

Slowly, he picked himself up from the floor, his tongue sweeping over his lips to savour her taste. Only when he looked at her did he realise, she was crying. “You’re crying.”

Only then did she realise tears had slipped down her cheeks. How humiliating. She wiped at them quickly, shaking her head. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t be gentle with me now.” Her voice broke between words. “You don’t get to disappear for months and then come back pretending like you care about me, about us.”

A silence settled between them.

He wrapped his arms around her, holding her so tight she almost couldn’t breathe. “I never stopped caring.”

He held her for a long time after that.

Ningning kept her face buried in his shoulder, the adrenaline fading now, leaving something softer behind. Something harder to face, because anger was easier to survive than whatever this was.

“So, are you going to tell me the truth now?” she mumbled against his shoulder.

His body stiffened immediately.

“Right,” she said quietly, pushing his arms off her. “Forgot who I was talking to for a second.”

“My love-”

“No.” She shook her head, putting her clothes back on. “You don’t get to come in here, tell me you missed me, say you love me, and then still keep me in the dark.”

“It isn’t that simple.”

“Get out.”

He stopped moving, frozen.

The words shouldn’t have hurt him after everything he’d done, and yet they did.

Ningning kept her back turned as she buttoned her blouse with trembling fingers, refusing to look at him. If she looked at him now, she knew she’d break. “Get out,” she repeated, quieter this time.

“Okay.”

The simplicity of it hurt more than if he’d argued.

He bent down silently to retrieve his shirt from the floor, movements sluggish, as if he had been winded. Maybe he had been. “I will always love you, more than you’ll ever know,” he said suddenly, voice quiet. “Even if it didn’t feel like it.”

Ningning felt tears sting instantly. “That’s the worst part,” she whispered. “I know you do.”

“I’m sorry.”

Ningning left the room, seeking refuge in her bed, leaving him standing alone in the kitchen. She stayed there long after the sound of his footsteps disappeared, staring at the ceiling through tear-blurred eyes.

The next morning, eyes heavy from crying all night, there she saw it. On the counter, his tie still remained where he left it.

The only proof he had ever come back at all.