I'm royally fucked

CONFESSION #007

SUBJECT: Anna Tanaka — MEOVV

DEVICE: iPhone 17 Pro Max — Deep Blue

APPLE ID: ████████@icloud.com

FOLDER: 個人 (Personal) / Blog Archive

FILE TITLE: "Anna's Blog #024 — I'm royally fucked"

CREATED: January 1, 2026 — 03:47 AM KST

LAST MODIFIED: February 1, 2026 — 02:14 AM KST

SYNC STATUS: Backed up to iCloud

ENCRYPTION: BREACHED

[ FILE OPENED ]

[ BLOGS #001-#023 REDACTED — UNRELATED CONTENT ]

Anna's Blog #024 — I'm royally fucked

ok.

let me start by saying that the title of this blog is not an exaggeration. it is a precise, technical, medically accurate description of my current situation.

i was going to write about the shrimp dumplings tonight.

that was the plan. that's what blog #024 was going to be about. somi-unnie's new year's party, the shrimp dumplings from that place near her building, the specific way sooin dances to american pop music she doesn't know the words to. i had a really good bit about gawon trying to teach sooin the words in real time while sooin was mid-choreography. that bit is gone now. that bit is dead. the shrimp dumplings will never be blogged about.

because at approximately 12:47am on january 1st, 2026, i, anna tanaka, twenty years old, functioning member of a functioning idol group, opened my mouth and volunteered myself into the worst decision of my life.

let me back up.

somi-unnie's apartment. hannam-dong. the sunken living room with the vinyl wall. seven of us. somi-unnie, bailey-unnie, annie-unnie (visiting from columbia, wearing pajamas that cost more than my rent), youngseo, gawon, sooin, me. haidilao delivery. somek pitchers. sooin was already dancing to chappell roan by 11pm. gawon was doing her mom thing and making sure i ate. bailey-unnie was doing her thing where she nurses one glass for three hours and studies the rest of us like a nature documentary.

midnight countdown. resolutions.

mine: "learn to cook something that isn't ramyeon."

bailey-unnie: "sleep more."

sooin: "kiss someone whose name i can remember the next morning."

gawon: "actually go on a proper date this year."

youngseo: "kiss someone hotter than the last one." (youngseo's last was allegedly a backup dancer with, i quote, "arms that count as their own category of person.")

somi-unnie: "get contacted by zero exes for one full calendar year."

annie-unnie, from her armchair, glass of expensive wine that she'd brought from her family's cellar and would not stop mentioning was from her family's cellar: "graduate. that's it. graduate."

then somi-unnie started telling a story about an ex who had, and i want to quote her exactly, "found jesus and wanted to apologize for our relationship as part of his healing journey." the room lost it. sooin was on the floor. gawon had her whole face in her hands. bailey-unnie was going "he did NOT" in a specific tone of voice bailey-unnie only uses when a story has actually surprised her.

that broke the seal. the conversation turned to men and stayed there.

sooin described someone she'd been talking to before christmas in enough detail that i learned three things about sooin i cannot un-learn. bailey-unnie mentioned someone by initials only and refused to elaborate no matter how much youngseo yelled at her. youngseo bragged about the arms guy in explicit detail. gawon said, quote, "i'm not participating in this conversation," and then proceeded to participate in the conversation.

then youngseo turned to me.

she was smiling. youngseo has a specific smile she gives you when she thinks she's about to say something funny and doesn't realize she's about to detonate a bomb.

"anna. your turn. give us something."

i said "i don't have anything."

youngseo laughed. "come on. even a kiss."

i said "no. actually. i don't have anything."

the room went quiet.

i want to describe the specific quality of the silence because it was informative. it was the silence of six women simultaneously performing rapid mental arithmetic to figure out if the maknae — who they had all assumed was quiet because she was mysterious — was actually quiet because she had nothing to be loud about.

sooin put her drink down. gawon's eyes did the specific gawon thing. bailey-unnie tilted her head. annie-unnie made a small "oh honey" sound.

somi-unnie looked at me without blinking.

youngseo said, still trying to make it a joke: "wait. wait. wait wait wait. nothing? like NOTHING nothing?"

"correct."

"you've never—"

"correct."

"not even—"

"nope."

"but like—"