The Moth and the Flame

“Ms Lee, what pushes you to— uogh– go to the pub all of a sudden?” You sat in the passenger seat beside her as she drove. You’re tipsy and nervous at the same time, and the alcohol starts to hit you. You clenched the seatbelt hard since your vision started to twirl like you’re on a roller coaster ride.

“I heard that there’s a company get-together, so I want to boost everyone’s confidence with my presence.” She told you. “Why did no one invite me? I’m the boss, in fact, I should know it first, right?” She added that she absolutely had no idea how it works.

“Y-you don’t have to.” You can’t tell her that her presence makes them terrified instead. “They’re probably too shy to invite you to a small pub.” You thought of a reason why she won’t get offended.

“If I didn’t come, how do you plan to bring Ms. Baek home?” She tapped her fingers on the steering wheel while she drove, “I did a good job, right?” She glanced at you briefly, lips curled into a satisfied smile. 

“Yeah, right.” You found yourself staring at her longer than intended, liking this side of her that’s also new to you. She’s really full of surprises.

“If I’m an ice cream, I’d already melt with that stare of yours.” She caught you staring without taking her eyes off the road. 

“Sorry, Ms Lee.” You cleared your throat and sat straight, regaining control all over your tipsy body.

“Come to think of it…” She paused for a second, and you were all ears on what she was about to say, “You can call me Jieun instead if we’re out of work.” She added that her suggestion is kind of absurd, levels beyond reality.

“H-huh? No, no way, I won’t dare to call you by your first name, Ms Lee.” You shook it off instantly. You can’t just call your boss without formality; it’s like calling someone to kill you on the spot, you shouldn’t step out of that boundary.

“Just do it, we’ve been together for five years, treat me as a friend for now since I’ll be your wife–”

“Lee Jieun!” You had to cut her off, gesturing at the back seat, telling her that Jiheon was still there.

“I said call me by my first name… NOT YELL AT ME!” She shouts back, louder than yours. She doesn’t care about whoever's with us.

“S-sorry… Jieun.” You apologized and said her name quietly.

“That’s it.” The car stopped, and the red glow of the traffic light shone on her face. Pretty and elegant, she’s still wearing the clothes from earlier, enough to tell you that she came to the pub from work.

“W-what do you mean?” The beer was still fogging your mind, partly no idea what she meant by her words.

“You just called me Jieun. I like it.” She’s happy, smiling ear to ear, looking at you.

“Okay, Jieun.” You accept your defeat and call her by her name, no hesitation and with sincerity this time around.

“...”

“...”

Your eyes met longer than they should, longer than most of the time.

“Yah! Just tell me if Lee Jieun bosses you around– huehuwhe– I’ll kick her ass for you–” Jiheon’s kicking her feet to the back of your seat and spouting nonsense.

“Aish! Yah– yah! Eat some fabric, it tastes good.” You had to muffle her mouth with your coat to shut her up the moment she mentioned your boss's name.

“...”

Jieun is staring blankly at her and you.

“She’s really drunk! That’s it, she didn't know what she was saying.” You panicked.

You and Jiheon had been hanging out often after work, ranting about the exhausting things that happened every day. She knows how hard Jieun is to you based on your stories, but you’re still adapting to that time, and now you’re fine with it.

“Mhhmm— hmm– Hmmgmpp– nyieun! (Jieun)” She’s speaking through her muffled mouth. If you didn’t silence her at that moment, you might not know what she would say now that the spirit of alcohol took over her body.

“Did she just call me by my name? I let it pass once, not twice! That girl— wow.” Jieun scoffed; she’s angry. That’s the reaction you’ve been expecting when you call her by her first name earlier.

“Let it pass again; she’s just drunk.” You try to calm her.

“The only one who can call me like that is you—” 

“Green light.” As you thought of a way to calm her, the red glow turned green.

“Tch.” She had no choice but to drive. She's a well-behaved citizen after all.

Upon seeing her childish side, you thought that calling her by her name was fine. She permitted you to do it, so there’s no complaining about it. Who knows? Maybe you’ll enjoy it in the near future.

She drove Jiheon into her home; apparently, she had already asked her brother, the vice president, to give her Jiheon’s data before we set off.

“Ughhh!” You had a hard time bringing Jiheon up to her apartment. There’s an elevator, but it's still a long walk since her unit’s at the very far end, what an inconvenience.

“Just drag her by her collar, hand, or hair? Anywhere.” Jieun is walking slowly with her arms crossed, clearly has no intention of helping at all.

“Hair? Seriously? And besides, I don't want to do that. I’ll look like I’m dragging a dead body at that point.” You’ll look like a murderer dragging a ragdoll across the hallway.

“Your choice.” She sighed; you could notice her boredom.

After a few more walks, you're finally in front of her apartment unit. It’s locked, of course, but the key’s with you since it happened to be a smart lock.

“Jiheon-ah…” You momentarily dropped her on the cold flooring since your arms were already numb and sore carrying her ever since she’s wasted.

“You two must be really close, calling her Jiheon and not Ms Baek— hey! Then why did you refuse to call me Jieun!?” Your boss poked you with the tip of her heel.

“It’s not like that, okay? You’re my boss, and she’s a secretary just like me; we’re in the same field, so it makes perfect sense we’re close.” You playfully slapped her toes, and she stepped back.

“Fine, whatever. Hurry up.” Her patience isn’t good either.

“Jiheon-ah… let me– ughh– God, she’s really heavy.” You used all the energy left in you to help her stand up.

“Let me borrow your thumb for a minute.” You gently asked for her permission to use her fingerprint on her door lock. Jieun watched you carefully; you could feel her eyes behind you, observing.

“Hmwuehe–” She giggled and spoke, but inaudibly. Good thing to know she’s still responsive and playful.

“What?” You tried to decipher her message, only to be laughed at by Jieun; her laugh was strangely irritating.

“Stop laughing like a villain.” You said to her while asking Jiheon for permission.

“Your coat.” Jieun still had her arms crossed, still looking around to ease her boredom, and kept laughing at the scene.

“Oh, right.” You forgot you muffled her mouth to prevent her from spilling tea about everything you said about Jieun.

“Jiheon-ah, can we use your—” You asked her one more time, for some reason, you don’t want to barge into her house without any consent.

“Hurry up, it’s late. Someone might see us.” Jieun is making it look like you're abducting someone.

Come to think of it, you entered the apartment carrying an unconscious woman with a coat wrapped around her mouth beside a CEO who is so cold enough to look like a mafia boss.

You really did look like kidnappers.

“Ms Lee— Jieun, stop saying that. We’re looking like we’re really abducting her.” Gesturing to her to even lower her voice.

“Then we’re a bunch of idiot bad guys, asking our victim for consent to use her fingerprint to unlock the door.” Her eyes shift in annoyance.

“It’s up to you… If we’re mistaken as a bad person, you’re the one who’s the boss.” Teasing her that she might be the first to be in trouble instead of an underling like you.

“But I’m your boss… hurry up before I order you to finish her up—” She kicked the floor in boredom.

“I said stop that.” She’s behaving way differently than she used to be.

“Fine.” She said, and that’s it.

“Jiheon-ah, let me…” You held Jiheon straight and used her thumb for verification.

The smart lock recognized her fingerprint, and the door opened. As you slipped through the door, Jiheon’s body swayed.

Thud!

“AAWWuoH!” Her head knocked on the door jamb.

“Oh shit, sorry… I’m so sorry…” You felt really sorry; it sounds like it hurts. She still has the whole Sunday to treat her swollen bump.

“Poor door jamb.” You heard Jieun’s mutter and shot a glare at her. “I’ll poke your eyes, hurry up.” She saw you, and that made your heart jump in fear for a second.

“You’re not helping– uoghh.” Jiheon slid down, so you pulled her up once more, slowly walking inside.

“I’m not helping someone who called me by my name without my consent.” She walked behind you and turned the lights on for you.

After a slow walk that felt like days worth of gym.

“Arghh— she’s damn heavy.” You dropped Jiheon onto her sofa; you didn’t even dare bring her to her bed to respect her privacy.

“Are you still at it? She’s drunk; please just spare her.” You fixed your clothes, took a deep breath, and prepared to leave.

“Okay, okay, I get it.” She followed you behind as she closed the door.

Walking back to her car, you offered to drive her home since you had already sobered up. But she responds with a scolding and insists on driving for you. Reasoning that you still drink, the alcohol won’t pass in just an hour or two.

The ride went smoothly, no traffic, and she stopped in a bright place, too bright that it’s impossible to be your apartment.

“Why are we here? Do you want something to eat?” You looked outside, it’s a convenience store.

“No, buy some coffee for yourself, decaf.” She handed over her card, a sleek black one that screams power and royalty. The golden embossed design and her company’s logo are too much.

“...”

“What? I don’t have cash.” She shook the card, asking you to take it.

“No, I’ll use mine.” You stepped out of the car and bought everything you needed.  All you bought was an energy drink, menthol candy, and menthol patches. No coffee.

While she drove you back to your home, you realized how far she is from you. Funny how she is still insisting on marrying you.

“...”

“We’re here.” The car stopped with a quiet screech of the brakes.

“Thank you, Jieun. A few more hours and the sun will rise again. You should go back now.” You stepped out of the car and inhaled the familiar cold breeze near your home.

It’s already late at night, and establishments around your apartment building have had their lights shut off. It’s quiet; the streets are already in their deep sleep.

“Take your rest; tomorrow’s Sunday, so you can sleep more.” She stepped out of the car as well, walking towards you.

“You won’t call me, right? No more night calls for tonight?”

“Why? You want me to?” She chuckled, “Just tell me, I could stay for tonight and have a talk with you.”

“...”

Her smile was a slow poison, spreading through every corner of your body. You’re aware of how dangerous she was, but this time, she exudes a different kind of danger. Your heart beat faster as your eyes met with hers.

“Hmm.” Her chuckle breaks the tension between you.

“Uhh…” You didn’t know what to say and just started looking around.

“...”

“So, do you want me to stay?” She took a step forward, her eyes shining while waiting for your answer. She leaned closer, little by little, until you could make out the fine details of her face. Her breath touches you, and enough to make you blush.

“I–” If she could hear your heartbeat, you’re done.

You did not want to assume, but you felt like she was playing with you. You felt like a moth, slowly drawn toward her flame. 

“...”

She stopped, her eyes playfully looked around, she does that whenever she’s flustered,

“Uhmm– never mind, you said that the sun will rise soon. Take a rest.” She took a step back and turned around. You can see her hand checking her face before turning back to face you.

“...”

Silence, you just kept staring at her.

“Wait, really? Do you want me to stay for the night?” She blinked in confusion,

“Huh?” You snapped from your deep thoughts.

“I know I asked you for marriage, but isn’t it too fast—” Now she took it the wrong way, and way too far. “Are you really that… still…” She added, fanning herself with her hands.

“You know the marriage is contractual, right? So doing it…” She added that, before you can even defend yourself, she even bit her lip while acting flustered.

“No, it’s not like that! Stop it… I think I’m still tipsy.” You shook your head. You should regain the secretarial composure you always wore. This isn’t like you, but she isn’t herself either!

“I know, so rest.” She let out a laugh, and you joined her as well.

“Thank you again, Jieun. Have a nice night.” You bowed; you can call her by her name, but you’ll still have to treat her as your boss.

“Good night.”

You slowly raised your head.

She said it again; it genuinely came from her without teasing, mocking, and joke,

Her words gave warmth to you in the cold night. The moth in you is starting to fly near her fire, but she did not hurt you; instead, you could feel that she shared her fire on your cold heart.

“Good night.” You respond. 

Both of you shared a smile, the cold breeze turned into warmth, and every word coming from both of you in that moment was full of affection and sincerity.

You watched her car disappear in the streets before entering your apartment, the stars lighting up the dark sky, and the silence now hugs you with comfort. You wanted to rest, and you thought you would definitely have a deep sleep after what had just happened.

As you recall what happened in a week, you can’t help but to anticipate what’s coming next while still being worried.

There’s been a lot of first times in the past few days; this moment might be your favorite.

To be continued…