I see you every night in my sleep
Anticipating every bad dream
Like falling with a knife you cut deep, you cut deep
You cut deep, you cut deep
—
“HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN, FIVE YEARS?” Minji shouts, battling the booming bass of the bar.
And you have to do the same to not get drowned out in the wave. “YEAH, FIVE YEARS.”
The sound doesn’t come out as well as you’ve wished. It stuck in your throat like a fur ball.
But she catches it anyway.
She lets out a smile; you remember it, of course: every contour of her face, every muscle used, and the small giggle she always lets out when doing it. It’s all the same.
“Let’s talk outside,” she mouths.
—
“How have you been?” The techno music is completely absent on this side of the bar, letting you and Minji talk in peace. You can see the vanilla sky through the small window on the outside, light shines through it.
“I’m fine, I’m fine. How are you?” You turn back your blurry vision onto her, still adjusting to the light.
You aren’t fine, really, but you can’t have her know that.
“I–” Her eyebrows furrow, as if to contemplate her next words. It’s enough to let you know. “I’m fine.”
The left hand shuffling in her hairs and the black hue under her eyes further support the case.
You let out a smile, a faint one. “Good to know.”
“How’s love life?” she continues. She has this look that you can’t quite make up, but you know that it’s determined to pry an answer out of you.
“I’m–” You can’t seem to find the answer inside your head, at all. It’s all blank, somehow. “I don’t know, really.”
“That’s fine.” She laughs, before her friends call her out from afar. “I think I should get going.”
“Yeah.”
“Oh, and I unblocked you like–a year ago? I think you still blocked me then, didn’t bother to check after that.” You aren’t thrilled to be the one to let go before her, really. Too much of a sore winner to relent first, but letting it gnaw you from the inside isn’t any of a better thing to do either.
“A year ago?”
“Yeah,” you answer.
“Before or after your birthday?”
You’re taken aback by it a little, just a little. Can she really still remember your birthday?
“Before, it’s on your birthday, I think?”
“That’s why, that’s why.” She laughs. “I unblocked you on your birthday.”
“Thanks.”
“Thank you, too. You’re better at this than me,” she says, smiling. But you catch something in her eyes, it’s definitely there—the sadness.
“You know, I’m–” She averts your eyes, finding comfort in the vanilla sky. “I’m sorry.”
“No, Minji. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things to you.”
She resigns, “Truce?”
“Truce.”
—
As you walk back home, a notification on your phone pops up.
kimminjeans started following you
You smile, knowing that it’s all over, a new relationship can blossom under this vanilla sky.
And you open your eyes.
—
I see you every night in my sleep
Anticipating every bad dream
Like falling with a knife you cut deep, you cut deep
You cut deep, you cut deep
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