Rhythm and Chaos

I crashed my car and bought a coffee machine.

The second biggest thing I have learned recently is just how hard it is to start a blog. Neither that nor the biggest thing are related to the above, but man, life is a bit of a whirlwind, huh?

Yet, I have found it incredibly difficult to find anything in this constant mess to sit down and write about, so I want to start with one thing: rhythm.

Life is a series of rhythm fibers that intertwine to form the string of life. Routines make the man; the man makes the routines. What is life without these routines? They ground us. They normalise the chaos. I think I would be even more insane without them.

Coffee

So let’s start with a new routine. There’s a certain level of irony in the fact that I’m trying to cut down on coffee consumption, and yet I just purchased a new coffee machine, but hear me out.

I was a slave to instant coffee or pods/capsules/sachets, and caffeine was nothing more than an addiction.

It’s the simple things in life that make life worth living. These are the rhythms. I want to take a moment to appreciate one of those rhythms.

I start every morning by taking just five minutes to brew a coffee. I put on a record first and then I start by grinding the beans by hand. I take the grounds, pour them into the little metal thing (idk the name, I’m not that deep into this), and press them down. I hook the coffee into the machine and hit the two-shot option. It whirs into life, and while it does its thing, I drop and do ten push-ups (more on this later, maybe?).

I pour the milk into the metal jug, lift it onto the steamer, and turn the knob. The machine gains a heartbeat. A literal, audible thud every second to assist with my counting. I’m not sure if this is entirely intentional or if the machine is kinda clapped, but I use it to count out the sixty seconds of heating and frothing the milk.

I pour.

I clean every utensil and return everything to it’s proper place ready for the next morning.

I have found a rhythm. It’s my morning ritual. It’s simple, it’s relaxing, it’s my constant.

If you ever feel like life is getting out of control, these are the things you can cling to remember who you are. When life is predictable, within control, comfortable, your stress is lower and it can help keep your emotions in check.

I turned my caffeine addiction into a singular daily event that serves to get my day started in the right way. I will advocate for this, always.

So as I sit here with my warm drink, my Bobby “Blue” Bland record playing, my tower fan helping me deal with the heat, sit with me, why don’t you? Sit, and I’ll move onto the chaos.

https://open.spotify.com/album/1lSOkdodGMXNH0BH2SfX9k

Car crashes

No matter how many rhythms you create, life is never straightforward.

Not even three weeks ago I was involved in a car accident. My car was thrown up into the air and came crashing down on the side of the road.

Thankfully, no one was seriously hurt. I walked away with minor scratches and some neck pain.

The thing I remember most is the adrenaline. I climbed out of the car and I struggled to stand as I could feel my legs shaking from the adrenaline surge. I sat up against a wall, and a nurse who lived near the crash ran over to check me out.

It should have been a normal saturday, like any other. I should have been on my way to play golf with my friends. I should have been in my rhythm.

Instead, I was sitting my totalled car, wondering what the hell I was going to do.

Rhythm crashed and burned just like the front passenger side of my car. Everything was disturbed, and so ensued a week of statements and phonecalls and cost evaluations and medical care. Everything you never really expect to have to deal with when you’re just following your rhythms.

The point is, that you can never really anticipate what’s around the corner.

Everything is, of course, sorted now. I got paid out by my insurance and purchase a new, better car. I’m healthy, I’m back in my rhythm.

A realisation

At this moment, I have realised that I never really introduced what this is, or what it will be, and I think the reason for that is that I didn’t actually have an answer.

I still don’t.

Okay, fine, I’ll try my best.

Hi, I’m Prael and Pieces of Prael is not a pirate treasure. There’s no curse attached to taking a piece, I promise. This is just a blog.

Hello new fanprose meta, I guess?

I’m still not entirely sure what I will talk about in the future, but I hope that things will come to me and that, for whatever reason, you glean some sort of something from them.

Learning

The biggest thing I have learned recently is the importance of taking a step back. To live and let live.

We all have our lives. Our complex, multi-layered, struggle-filled lives. We’re all just people on this giant stupid rock floating in space and ultimately it is our choice which of those people mean something to us. You can’t care about everyone and everything, we simply do not have the capacity.

So why waste time on things that don’t benefit you or the people you care for, on things you don’t enjoy, on things that only make everything that little bit harder to deal with on the day-to-day?

I’m guilty on wasting my time and effort on that which is of very little consequence to me, but I think it’s very important that every mistake we make is just another learning experience that can only shape us further into the person we will become.

Writing

Sorry, I just remembered the whole reason this account exists. Writing.

Side note: I’m out of coffee now and the record is nearing it’s end.

I’ll be honest, I’m surprised that I’m still here. I don’t think I ever came into this with an end goal, and I still to this day haven’t found one. I worked on the assumption that one day I would just get bored and I would turn away, but I fear that I fell in too deep.

I have met way too many amazing people along the way and you all know who you are. You’re the reason I’m still here. The sense of community, the friendships, the laughter and the love and just about everything else. No matter how many problematic people float around this space, there’s are just too many incredible ones for me to ever give up on them.

Truth is, I came close. I was still around, but not really present. I didn’t write for many months, and I only really popped up in discord occasionally. I never checked tumblr (it was a hellhole). I guess I had one foot out of the door.

The people who really needed to hear this have heard it all before, but just to put it out there: fanprose reignited my passion.

I’m writing again and I’m having a lot of fun doing it. I’m discussing ideas with fellow writers and writing what I enjoy.

So I would like to end this first post with a thank you.

Thank you everyone who joined fanprose and continues to stick around. Whether you’re quietly lurking, whether you interact sparingly or if you’re always there to leave me comments. I appreciate all of you.

Thank you to all the many friends I have made along the way, there are far too many to list, whether you’re still around today or if you left at some point along the way, I can safely say I’ve spoke to triple digits of people over the years and that’s truly amazing. Thank you.