Bee's Knees

☾︎✯☽︎

The soft glow of the amber hue created a cosy atmosphere, casting a gentle light in the room. It was close to four in the morning and the world outside was still with sound of soft music subtly playing in the background, filling up the silence. 

Lisa and I lay comfortably in her bed side by side, staring at the ceiling as we basked in the aftermath of our intimacy not too long ago. The air was thick with a sense of contentment and satisfaction.

Kinky sexy hasn't always been my forte, but I was open to exploring it as long as it didn't go too far (and by that, I mean when chains, whips and gags get thrown into the mix). I've always been a simple man with simple preferences and little to no expectations when it came to sex. As long as everyone feels good throughout the experience.

But something about this particular experience with Lisa felt... different. Sure, I've had my fair share of experience with kinky sex with other women, but with Lisa, it felt like I experienced it for the first time. Shit! I can argue that the few times I've had sex with Lisa always felt like it was the first time for me.

I turned my head to look at the woman lying beside me. Her hands gripped the sheets that covered her bare chest. Her face faced the ceiling with a look that I couldn't quite decipher.

"Hey," I said, nudging her softly. "What's on your mind?"

There was a brief pause before she shook her head and let out an airy laugh, "It's nothing."

"Was the sex that good you can't even think or say anything?" I teased, receiving a playful backhanded slap to the chest that only made me laugh even more.

"How was it?" I couldn't help but ask.

Lisa turned to lie on her side and propped her hand against her head to support it. Her dark hair which had grown to touch her shoulders fell to the right side of her shoulder and exposed her left shoulder. She met my gaze with a soft but thoughtful look in her eyes as she drew circles on my chest. "Well, it's not too different from the other times we've had sex," she began. "but it's the right amount of different if it makes sense."

I quirked an amused eyebrow at her feedback. "Right amount of different? I put in all that work for it to be the 'right amount of different?'" I placed my head under my hand, my tone feigned offence.

She burst out into giggles. "Don't be such a baby. I'm just saying that it was as good as all the times we've fucked." She smiled, moving closer to me. "Though the nickname was new for me."

I felt my cheeks burn slightly and averted my gaze from hers. "Dunno know what you're talking about."

"What? Was the sex that good that it messed up your memory?" she teased, pinching my cheek.

"Shut up," I scoffed, rolling my eyes.

"It was nice though," she said placing her head on my chest. "The sex. The nickname. I liked it."

The room was silent once again for what felt like an eternity until I decided to gently disentangle myself from her, preparing to leave.

"You're leaving," Lisa's voice broke the silence. It wasn't a question. It was as if she knew that I was going to leave eventually, but she didn't hide the disappointment in her tone.

I paused briefly, my gaze meeting hers. "It's late. I should get going," I reasoned gently. "Besides, you have school in the morning."

"I told you that I don't have classes all semester," she reminded me.

"I know, but you have a research paper that's due. You should make use of your free time doing that instead of wasting it with me."

As I was about to stand, felt Lisa's arms circle around my waist and her head pressed against my left shoulder blade, holding me in place so I wouldn't move. "Stay," she pleaded in a voice that was soft as a whisper filled with longing.

My body instinctively froze and a familiar feeling of hesitation started settling through my body. "You know I can't," I whispered back, not sparing her a glance.

I'd normally feel indifferent to any woman I've slept with asking me to stay and leave anyway. It was never on my agenda to pursue anything beyond momentary pleasure and I'd always been transparent on that. I didn't want to feel responsible or obligated to meet their expectations.

But it was different with Lisa. I was physically attracted to her, that's one thing I wasn't going to deny. It just felt wrong to leave her like this, but I had to. I bent enough of my rules to indulge in the intoxicating allure of her presence and I didn't want to lose myself in the process.

"We're co-workers, Lisa," I reminded her. "I've already bent enough of my rules to accommodate... this. I just don't want to blur the line further. I hope you understand."

"I do," she mumbled relentlessly. "I just... wish you could stay a little bit longer, you know. There's no harm in that."

I swallowed the lump in my throat as the hesitation sunk in further. I was tempted to take up her offer and stay. I did enjoy her company just as much as I enjoyed having sex with her. But I knew I couldn't do it. As much as I would have loved to succumb to her yearning, I had to draw the line for both our sakes. Sex was all I could give her and nothing more.

Without saying a word, I gently removed her hands from my waist and kissed them before getting up and started gathering my clothes. No words were said. No glances were exchanged. It was just Lisa staring at my back as I dressed up in the dim light of her room.

"I'll see you around, Lisa," I said softly and then left, closing the door behind me and leaving behind the echo of our unspoken feelings.