Vesper

☾︎✯☽︎

It was a hot Saturday afternoon. The sky was clear. The birds were chirping. Christian was gawking at me as I was reading for the past thirty minutes since he got to my apartment.

I sighed exasperated and closed my eyes. "What it is?"

"You good, mate?" he asked.

"Just peachy. Why do you ask?" I answered.

"You seem a bit out of it. So much you barely paid attention to the lady who gave you her number not too long ago."

"I'm not obligated to take her number."

"For chrissakes, Ollie. You didn't even look at her! I felt sorry for how awkward she must have felt."

I closed the book I was holding in my hand.

It was true that I hadn't been myself as of late. I had been spacing out, but not too much to hinder my work ethic and routine. But there was no denying that I had a lot going on in my head.

Lisa and I went radio silent once again after our last encounter. Well, it was more of me avoiding her and her respecting my avoidance. After all, I did make it clear that I had boundaries I didn't want to cross. We were civil and professional with one another, but it felt awkward. Despite it being what I want, I couldn't help but detest the current status quo of our relationship, especially the look she had on her face when I pulled away from her before I did something I was afraid I was going to regret that night in my apartment.

"I just have a lot on my mind, Christian," I answered with a sigh, putting my book on the coffee table beside me.

"Like what? You hardly have anything on your mind," he arched an eyebrow. "And even if you did, you move on faster than Eminem's rap lyrics in "Rap God". Unless whatever it is on your mind is a life-changing/"the world's ending" type of big thing."

"Well, my work colleague happened to make it a big thing, that's for sure."

"The one who kissed you to save your ass? I thought you said nothing happened between you two after your date."

"Well..."

Christian's eyes widened and his jaw dropped, "Holy shit! You're lying."

"I didn't sleep with her," I quickly said before he got the wrong idea.

"So? You've been messing around with her, and you didn't even tell me," he feigned hurt, making me roll my eyes. "How long?"

"Not long. Only about two times."

"When was the first?"

"... after the concert when I dropped her off."

"I KNEW IT!" he exclaimed excitedly. "I knew something happened."

"Well congratulations, Christian. Here's your non-existent Nobel Peace Prize."

He rolled his eyes, "What about the second?"

"Just recently. About a week ago." I told him.

He hummed thoughtfully while cupping his chin and nodded his head. "Okay, I know this might sound crazy, but –"

"I'm not interested in her," I cut him off.

"Denial is a river in Egypt, my friend. I'm just saying," he shrugged.

I sighed and rubbed my forehead with my hand, already feeling exasperated.

"Okay, this is just a suggestion," he leaned forward. "You're free to choose whether or not you want to consider it."

"I'm all ears," I leaned back and rested my cheek on my fist.

"How about you experiment? Sleep with this broad."

"Hell no! She's a co-worker." I rebuked him.

"Ollie, I think we're way past "following your rules" now that you've messed around with her twice already."

I clenched my jaw distastefully. "What's the point of this "experiment anyway?"

"To see if anything will change afterwards," he explained. "I think the source of your dilemma is that you're thinking about what would have happened had you gone all the way with her. But I still think you're interested in her."

I rolled my eyes. "Hypothetically, if I do sleep with her; what then?"

"That's for you to know and find out when you get there, mate."

☾︎✯☽︎

"Oh yes! Right there!"

The woman was seated on her couch naked with her legs wide open and placed over my shoulders. I was on my knees devouring her wet womanhood. Her hands were tugging and pulling my hair, urging me to keep going. My hands were cupping and squeezing her breasts. She was enjoying herself with how loud she was moaning as I was pleasuring her. But unfortunately, I couldn't say the same for myself.

I'm not a complicated guy nor am I hard to please or arouse when it comes to sex. I can get easily turned on by anything including and not limited to, the sound of a woman's moans, foreplay, a woman's naked body, blowjobs, kissing and so on. I had no preference when it came to the women I slept with either. Just as long as they were able to give me a good time.

But for some reason, I couldn't stop thinking about Lisa as I was pleasuring this woman. All I could think about and imagine was Lisa.

It was Lisa I was eating out. It was Lisa who was lying underneath me with her hair spread across her pillow, staring at me with hooded eyes that burned with lust. It was Lisa's lips that I was kissing and pulling with my teeth. It was Lisa who was moaning loudly and shamelessly as I stroked my cock deep inside her until she climaxed.

Sure, I was having sex with this woman just to get Lisa off my mind, but it felt like I was jerking off to the image of having sex with her and I didn't know what to think or feel about that. So, I left that woman's apartment unsatisfied with the sex and with mixed feelings.

How about you experiment? Christian's words echoed in my head as I drove.

I diverted from the route leading to my apartment to the route that led to Lisa's residence. By the time I parked in front of her building, I dialled her number. She answered after the second ring.

"Hello?"

"I'm outside, your building," I said. "I wanna see you."