my gf is a serial killer

Jiminie 🔪💘

Y/n

jimin-ah~

where are you?

can you buy some onions on your way back?

5:40pm

Jiminie🔪💘

jnowaujondaw

SORRY

WAIT

5:41

okayy i’ll buy some

note to self: don’t text and kill

almost dropped my phone when he was struggling lmao

y/n look

my victim later:

HSHSHASHSAHSHSAH

5:52

…..

okay kinda funny

but like

scary

but also

kinda

cute

???

5:53

( • ᴗ - ) ✧

i know you can’t resist me~

also just got done

going home

will buy the onions for you my beloved

o7

6:36

Y/N HELP

EMERGENCCY

PLEASE PICK UP

PLS

PLSS

BABYYYY

PICK UP

00:47

Missed audio call - 00:47am

what happened now?

did you get caught?

are you going to jail?

do i need to flee the country?

I NEED YOU HELP

no

jimin-ah

you know I don’t want to get

involved in your stuff

AND YOU KNOW

I’M SCREAMISH

how can you expect me to help

I literally might faint

BUT

I CAN’T CLEAN

THE SCENE

THEY FUCKIN HAVE

PET PIGEONS

WHO TF HAS THAT!!

please

baby

help me out

I can’t go insideeee

please

SEOUL’S SERIAL KILLER

WHO IS ON THE LOOSE IS

BEGGING FOR HELP

CUZ SHES SCARED OF

BIRDS

HSAHDAWHWDAHHADH

okay fine

but

if i go there you do the dishes for 2 weeks

deal???

….

fucking menace

FINE

I’ll do the dishes

JUST PLEASE COME HERE ALREADY

THEY ARE FREAKING OUT IN THEIR CAGES

00:53

Jiminie🔪💘 is sharing their location…

okay

otw!

I’m gonna use your mask okay

and gloves

you can’t say no

fine…

just come here already

y/n~~~

meet me at the spot

we go on a date

RIGHT NOW!

pwetty please~

7:24

okay first

please don’t type like that

WHA

WHY NOT

because it really doesn’t fit you honey

your supposed to be scary

people are scared of you

can I not be cute for my beloved?

i’m here alreadyy

come fast

I really can’t comprehend how you look so cute

when you literally

killed 2 people

last night

alone

I really don’t get it

only for you cutie~

now get your butt off the couch

and come here

and don’t say its too far

ITS LITERALLY 5 MINUTES AWAY Y/N

get out here and touch some grass

and maybe you can touch something else later when we come home…

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

( ˶°ㅁ°) !!

OKAY I’M SPRINTING OUT THE DOOR

hey

you know

you have a KILLER smile :D

10:23

okay i’ll admit that did make my heart flutter

and you have a KILLER personality

also what flavor do you want

i can stop by the bakery later when I go home

11:15

CARAMEL

pls

also will get home a bit late

you know what it is

gotta keep the rep up!

#grindneverstops

11:42

please be careful

don’t get caught

you know

we don’t have funds

to bail you out

but then again

you would probably get life sentence ngl

hell yes I will :D

hard works pays off yknow

not really something to celebrate

but

I AM PROUD OF YOU BB! <33

12:51

Police are snooping near the bakery…

dat u?

or like a rival?

6:22

IM OKAY

yes that was me lol

they were a runner

thank god i caught them

almost ruined the streak

also i saw you when i was hiding

in the bushes

I gotta give myself a pat on the back

the suit+glasses combo i did

CLARK KENT

TOLD YOU IT LOOKS GOOD

7:22

never said it would look bad

its just

yknow kinda weird

that you made a victim

make a fashion cheat sheet

before you used her sewing kit against her

which I never wanted to know btw

but it was a great story!

it’s not my fault i yapped about it while we ate dinner

╮(ᵕ—ᴗ—)╭

7:56

coming home now!

lost them again HEHEHE

#anklesbroken

love you~

8:34

pls come home safe

towels are already prepared

love you too you menace

six

seven

67:67

now its 667 words!

67:69