Feel Special

Everyone always told me that I was lucky, but I never thought it would be like this. When I won $100 from a scratch off that I found on the ground at a Costco parking lot in 4th grade, I thought it was just coincidence. There was also the time when I randomly submitted a Best Buy survey and somehow managed to win a free MacBook Pro right before college started. Or even just two months ago when Seoul University somehow accepted me into the study abroad program last minute even though I forgot to submit my application until 3 weeks after the deadline. Surely that person who dropped out at the very end would have done it anyways, right?

Still, I thought my luck peaked the moment my seat number got drawn to come up on stage during a Twice fanmeet that I won from a school raffle. I mean, how much luckier could I have gotten? Sure, that fortune cookie said that 2018 would be my year, but how could anyone have possibly imagined this? This wasn’t supposed to happen to anyone.

“I really like you,” she said, a mischievous smile forming on her damn-near perfect face.

“Um…Sana…is this really a good idea—”

She put a finger to my lips. “No one’s going to know if we don’t make too much noise.”

“But they’re right outside,” I said, stammering backwards until a wall stopped me dead in my tracks.

“So what?”

She smiled innocently, but there wasn’t anything innocent about any of this at all.

The bright mirror lights almost blinded me as Sana’s body pushed against mine until I was trapped in a corner of a small dressing room that I should’ve never been able to enter to begin with.

“Are you really this shy or are you just scared?” she asked, guiding my hands down from her waist to her hips.

“I’m not shy, I—”

“When you were on stage earlier you said that I was your favorite,” she said, tilting her head while her eyes stayed locked with mine.

“You are, but—”

Before I could even process it, she had already pulled my hands over her butt. It felt so soft and perfect that my fingers practically moved on their own, giving it a nice, firm squeeze.

She bit her bottom lip. “See, you’re not so shy after all.”

“Are you sure this is okay?”

“Of course it is. What’s wrong? Don’t you think I’m pretty?”

“You’re really pretty,” I said, my breaths growing heavier within every passing second. “Like, really really pretty.”

“So do you want me or not? We don’t have that much time.”

I nodded. I’d never been more sure of anything in my life. Whatever consequences awaited us, I was ready to accept them.

“Show me then,” she said, brushing her lips against mine.

“Show you what?” I said, goosebumps forming all over my body.

She wrapped her small arms around my neck and pulled me so close that I could almost smell every single ingredient of her sweet perfume.

“Show me that I’m your favorite,” she whispered.

This is supposed to be the part where I tell you that I ripped off all of her clothes and went to town, but unfortunately, it didn’t happen that way. This was real life, not some smutty fanfic, and real life just didn’t work like that. In actuality, my heart was beating so fast that I started feeling lightheaded, but I really don’t think you could have blamed me. I mean, how often does a random fan get to go backstage with Twice, let alone hook up with their favorite member in a dressing room? Never. Maybe if we met in a Starbucks line or at a secluded vending machine—or hell, even a 5-star hotel suite after a night of drinking. But not like this. No one’s ever told this story before.

“Show me I’m your favorite.”

Those words she said, in such a sweet yet seductive whisper, almost made me faint right then and there. But don’t worry. I didn’t faint. I don’t know how I didn’t, but I didn’t.

Wait. Let’s rewind a bit. I know I’ve already said it once, but Sana was my favorite Twice member. There was something about her that really captivated me. Maybe it was the cuteness that leaned more kawaii than aegyo, or maybe it was the crazy nice body that you wouldn’t expect from such a goofy, sweet girl. Or could it be the beautiful face that always somehow appeared both innocent and naughty at the same time?

Well, whatever it was, I was crazy about her, so when the President of the foreign exchange student club told me that I was the person who won the three Twice fanmeet tickets, I took them without a second thought. I didn’t even care to ask about the details. So you can imagine the excitement going through my head when my seat number got called up out of the hundreds of people who attended. Okay fine—eight other people got called up too, but I can assure you none of them got to go backstage.

And you must be wondering how I did. Easy. I was the winner.

Nine fans were paired up with each member of Twice in the order that their seats were called, so when the MC asked me—Lucky Number 3—who my favorite was, you can bet that I screamed “Sana!” at the top of my lungs. Yes, it was embarrassing, but it was totally worth it because I could still remember how cute she looked covering her mouth, laughing at me just before giving me a hug. I can’t even tell you how red I must have been when that happened. Maybe I’ll look up the fancams later.

The nine of us paired up and competed in a variety of games; some requiring coordination, some just strictly chaotic, and some just completely based on luck. And trust me, that’s where I shine brightest. Anything that involves the complete absence of any skill and relies solely on chance is my forte.

As promised, the winner would be able to meet Twice backstage for a photo-op after the show was over. To say the least, it was a fan’s dream come true. I shook hands with literally every member, stood in front of them face-to-face and eye-to-eye. Afterwards, I took a group picture with all of them, and even personally requested if Sana could make a heart with me. And being the sweetheart that she is, she said yes without any hesitation. So when our thumbs and index fingers actually touched, I already thought I was the luckiest guy in the world.

I mean, we made a heart! In a photo! It was proof of my undying love for her, and it was forever frozen in time. And when all of that was over, the euphoria that kept me higher than clouds gave me a sudden surge of courage to make one last request: a personal selfie with just me and Sana. That’s right. I went all the way. I tested my limits, and was rewarded for trying because their manager seemed like he was too tired to care.

So don’t let her fool you into thinking I’m a coward, because I’m not. Luck can only take you so far. I seized the opportunities that were given to me. We took so many selfies that everyone else just started walking away because they were so bored of watching us.

But it was the next part that changed everything.

“Thank you for coming, it was really nice to meet you,” Sana said cheerfully, typing something on my phone while looking over all the pictures we took.

Except I was too busy staring at her mesmerizing face to even notice what happened. And it was only when I was about to exit through the back of the venue that I realized it.

She had texted a Kakao account from my phone.

And no, it wasn’t a confession or a love letter. It was literally a single Korean character: ㅇ—which, by the way, doesn’t even make any sounds by itself. It was the absolutely most meaningless thing anyone could have sent you, and probably just the first thing that came up when she rushed through it.

I stayed as still as a rock, staring at the phone in my hand—practically three steps away from walking through the exit.

Wait. Is this her Kakao? Did Sana really just essentially give me her phone number? What the hell is going—

And then a new message popped up.

Come to the dressing room furthest to the left all the way at the end of the hallway.

Hurry.

I didn’t even bother replying. I bolted as fast as I could, frantically trying to retrace my steps around the maze of a hallway, passing through a million doors before I finally made it to any kind of dressing room. And in case you’re wondering, there were at least 10 of them.

It wasn’t until I saw Sana’s head poking out the door of one of them that the words ‘furthest to the left all the way at the end of the hallway’ started to mean something to me. That’s right, it really was the dressing room furthest to the left from all the way down the hall.

She waved at me before quickly disappearing back inside, and I ran towards the door like I was being chased by starving hounds.