Leggings

"Zuha, can you come here for a second? I'm fighting for my life against these leggings."

Kazuha’s laugh drifts through the fabric partition. "There's no way that's possible Chaewon, they're like the easiest thing to put on. You didn't happen to put them on backwards, did you?"

"No! Okay, maybe. This waistband is all twisted up and it's digging into me. It feels like it's trying to squeeze the life out of me. Come save me, PLEASE!"

As you hear the footsteps go from one stall to another you freeze, hand hovering over the coil of the XLR cable your boss told you to grab from the makeshift equipment room. It just so happens the room is pulling double duty as the members' prep area.

Who's stupid fucking idea was this?

The muffled bickering continued to come from the changing stall on the other side of the room.

You knew it was just Chaewon and Kazuha left to argue in there since you saw Yunjin, Sakura, and Eunchae already on set for the shoot ten minutes ago. From what you were hearing it was probably going to be a while before the other two joined them.

"Turn around, let me see the tag. Yeah, see? Backwards. You’re fucking hopeless."

"Shut up. Just help me get them off. Or on. Whatever. Fuck. Just fix it before my circulation gets cut off permanently."

Shhh-wip. They were definitely coming off.

Just focus on your job, that's all you should do. You pretend to untangle the cable in your hands to keep your mind occupied while the sounds from the stall become more and more distracting.

"They're soooo tight. I feel like I'm being vacuum sealed. Is this supposed to happen? Does Lululemon hate me?"

"It’s compression wear, unnie. It’s supposed to be tight," Kazuha teases. "They're just letting it sit on your hips like a pair of low rise pants. Are you going for a Y2K vibe or something? You have to pull them up more."

"Excuse me? I've been trying to pull them up! They won't move. It's stuck right here...uhn...on my thighs."

"Let me do it. You’re weak."

"Hey! I am not weak, I’m just...ah! Okay, watch your nails!"

"Stop wiggling, you’re making it worse. Just let me get the these up... there. See?"

"Oh my god, that feels so much better."

"Good. Now check the seam. Is it straight down the middle?"

"Middle of what?"

"Your butt, Chaewon. The seam. It needs to be centered or it'll look weird on camera."

Silence stretches for a moment, followed by the sound of more shuffling.

You swallow hard, staring at the wire in your hands as if it holds the secrets to the universe.

You are a professional.

You are part of the production staff.

You are here to move cables and set up lights, that's all.

Nothing else.

You are definitely not here to eavesdrop on two of the biggest celebs in the country discussing their butt seams.

"I don't know, it feels... crooked. Like, one side is riding up more than the other. Can you see it?"

"I'm looking. Turn towards the light so I can get a better look at it."

"The light? How's the light going to help? It's been flickering all day Kazuha."

"Just turn. Okay? Wait, I see what you mean. They are bunching up right here." A loud slap echoes through the stall, the sound of skin hitting skin. You jump, nearly dropping the cable. Is that what you think it was? "Right on your ass." Yeah, it was.

"It's bunching up?" Chaewon sounds horrified. "Why is it doing that? I thought these were expensive!"

"They are expensive. That’s why they fit like a glove and you just have to learn how to wear them. Hold still. Let me try to smooth it out."

"Ow... don't pull so hard!"

"I’m trying to fix it. Just chill the fuck out. I think it'll smooth out if I pull them up higher."

"Higher? They can't go any higher, if they get pulled up anymore, I’m going to get split the fuck in half."

You stare at the closed curtain that's serving as the door. The pop-up stall is just a metallic frame wrapped in grey velvet that doesn’t reach the floor letting you see two sets of feet shuffling around beneath the gap. Not like you're looking or anything.

You should leave.

Grab the cables and walk out the door. Just go back to the set, let them figure out what's going on with those leggings in peace. Unfortunately, or fortunately, your feet feel like they’ve been cemented to the floor.

"It's still not right, ughhhhh. There's no way I can go out there like this. The camera is going to pick up every little wrinkle and I'm going to get so much shit for it. I can already see the tweets."

"It’s not that bad, but you’re right. It’s being a little... problematic. I think we need a second opinion. Or a third set of hands."

"A third set of hands? Who's? Eunchae is gone. Yunjin is probably out there yapping to the director. Sakura is probably back to playing her Switch."

"There’s staff outside, right? I heard footsteps earlier."

You hold your breath. She heard footsteps earlier, YOUR footsteps.

"No, absolutely the fuck not," Chaewon balks immediately. "I am not asking some random fucking staff member to come inspect my butt. That’s embarrassing. That’s a lawsuit waiting to happen."

"It’s just clothes! Nothing more. We need the fit to look perfect. Director-nim is going to have a cow if we show up late to the shoot because you're self conscious about a seam." Kazuha gets louder. "HEY! Staff member! Can you come help us for a sec?"

"Kazuha, no!" Chaewon hisses.

Too late. The call has been made. You stand there, paralyzed, wondering if feigning sudden deafness is a viable career strategy. The velvet curtain parts a fraction, and Kazuha’s face peeks out. She spots you instantly, standing near the equipment rack like a statue in a museum.

Maybe she won't notice if you don't.... move.... a.... muscle.